Treasure Hunt & Blazing Epilogue (Fluffy Pony Story)

>you are an executive at Hasbro BioToys
>after those animal activists set the fluffies free, everything went to hell
>HBT's investment became all but worthless since fluffies could be picked up on the street and in shelters for free
>you were hired after the government bailed out the company and forced everyone filing lawsuits to settle
>goddamn corporate welfare
>your job is to get them out of the shithole they're in, now that they've exhausted all the qualified hiring choices who only succeeded in digging a deeper grave for the company in order to line their own pockets
>a corrupt richfag, go figure
>designer fluffies were still selling, but with capitalism sucking the lifeblood out of the middle class there were fewer and fewer willing to pony up the cash for a fluffy
>you yourself received one of these designer fluffies as part of your compensation package for joining the HBT team
>it was a white fluffy alicorn with an elegant and colorful mane
>being a clopper, you were a fan of both MLP and Molestia
>just couldn't pass up the opportunity to get your own Celestia fluffy
>but you named her Treasure instead

>the fluffy was designed to be smarter than the average fluffy and very well behaved
>she even speaks perfect american english
>this both rustles your jimmies and creeps you the fuck out, having owned multiple fluffies in the past who all died horribly violent deaths due to their own stupidity and never once showed the slightest bit of intelligence
>you're not used to a fluffy who you could truly call your beloved pet
>but you can't concern yourself with that right now
>the company is leaking money and will inevitably go into bankruptcy in the coming years if you don't find a new product fast
>you spend entire nights scribbling on paper and working things out, but you're no scientist
>one night you just break down into tears, the stress from the job causing you to completely melt down
>Treasure levitates a blanket over you
>after suffering through four now dissolved marriages and graduating to a bunch of capitalist pigs who know nothing of making a real product yelling at you all day, Treasure is the only thing in the world that keeps you from /wristing right there on the spot
>foreveralone.jpg

>one day you get home from work especially stressed out
>the boss gave you one week's notice
>he's going to fire your ass, kill all the jobs and move the company to China if you can't come up with something quick
>you wonder how you'll pay to take care of Treasure without a job
>speaking of which, she wasn't there to greet you at the door today
>you smell the sweet aroma of something baking in the oven
>maybe your pent up but relatively attractive secretary decided to surprise you with dinner
>you knew all those times she maced you in the face were just her way of showing affection
>wandering into the kitchen, you see Treasure flying and teleporting around
>she's using her magic to make your favorite meal, a juicy cut of prime rib with some broccoli and mashed yams
>Treasure is wearing that apron your old high school crush used to when the two of you played "house"
>no, not the doctor even Chuck Norris respects
>try to remember what she was wearing under that apron
>ohwait.jpg

>seeing Treasure in it makes you feel things you'd rather not feel, especially nostalgia for the good old days before your first wife took the kids and all your money
>it hurts to think of the mistakes you made, how it could've all been avoided, how terrible your life's become since then
"Daddy! The prime rib is just about finished. If you'd please take a seat, I'll be serving it to you in a minute."
>too hungry and exhausted to argue, you sit your whipped white collar ass down at the table
>she slides the plate in front of you and begins cutting your steak
>an ominous feeling of overwhelming dread overtakes every fiber of your being
>the only thing stopping you from jumping up and diving through the nearest window is the fact that you can't move
>you skipped breakfast to go in early and the boss man told you not to eat lunch until you came up with a new product idea
>it takes all your strength just to not pass out right then and there
>ohwell.jpg
>you let treasure feed you your meal
>she also pours a homemade smoothie down your throat
>suddenly, with food and an energy drink in your stomach, you feel like you're a barely functioning corporate tool again rather than simply a dead man walking
>with your meal finished, you leave her to clean up like the hard working man of the house you are
>a shower awaits you, a nice long one to wash away the filth you're covered in
>it's partly the feeling of working for the company responsible for creating the fluffy vermin that now terrorize and defecate all over once clean towns and cities
>but mostly it's the spit that left their mouths while they were chastizing you all day for your poor performance

>once you vacate your bathing quarters, a strange sight lies in front of you
>there's a trail of rose petals leading into your bedroom
>you try to run away, but your curiosity as a man of science gets the better of you
>it never bothered you like this before
>but that's because you never had it before being hired as the head honcho of a genetic engineering outfit
>you can't bring yourself to believe the suspicions swirling in your head without seeing it for yourself
>you slowly open the door to your bedroom, careful of what might await you
>Treasure is lying their on her side, still wearing the apron, and gesturing you to come over
>why the hell did you have to get a smart fluffy?
>why didn't you just get one of those dumb shits that shits everywhere, breaks everything and causes its owner to become a psychotic animal abuser?
>oh, right

"Treasure, sweetie, you know I love you with all of my heart, but it would be wrong for Daddy to let this happen. Please, just go to your room and sleep."
>she blinks a couple times and then turns on the waterworks
>she musters all the cuteness she can and pleads with you
"D-daddy no wuv Tweasuw? Daddy no wike Tweasuw anymow? Daddy jus wan Tweasuw ta go 'way?"
>HHHHHHNNNNNGGG.jpg
>you can't believe your fluffy's pulling the ol' 'you'll fuck me if you love me' trick that fluffy molesters are so fond of, and it's even going so far as to use fluffy talk
>what has science done
"Aw, Treasure, I still love you. But we just can't be together like thi-"
>she does not take it well, not even letting you finish before she rips your heart out and tears it to shreds
"DADDY NO WUV TWEASUW! TWEASUW IS BAD FWUFFY! TWEASUW WAN DIE!"
>she magically holds a razor blade to her hooves as tears stream down her adorable little fluffy face
>NO! NOT YOUR EXECUTIVE COMPENSATION PACKAGE!
>you gave it all up just to get Treasure
>now she's mentally unstable and completely suicidal

>the time has come for you to be THE DECIDER
>you can either let your expensive pet fluffy kill herself
>or you can blow a load and get a good night's sleep
>fuckitall.jpg
>you leap into action!
>well, more like a slow, hesitant walk
>but you've no choice other than to give in
>still doesn't stop you from crying like a bitch for letting yourself get blackmailed by a fluffy pony
>you close your eyes, drop your trousers and prepare for imminent humiliation
>nothing happens
>you open them to see your high school crush, only years older and still just as attractive
>dafuq.jpg
>you wonder why you never married her instead of your bitch of an ex

"Brad you bastard! It's your baby! If you don't take responsibility, I...I'll-!"
"You'll what?! I never asked for this! It was only supposed to be casual! How the fuck was I supposed to know that you'd get knocked up?!"
"BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO GODDAMN CHEAP TO USE A CONDOM! I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T A SAFE DAY!"
"Oh, so now it's my fault. You know what? You and that spawn of yours can go fuck off and die."
>she left you a note at school the next day telling you to come over one last time before her parents came back from their vacation in the bahamas
>you found her in her room, hanging from her ceiling fan
>at least you don't have to worry about paying for an abortion now
>not that you couldn't afford it, being rich and all
>at least you were rich, until your parents found out what happened and disowned your inconsiderate ass
>now you remember why you never married her
>it would be kind of awkward, what with you still being alive
>that still didn't explain why she was standing there in front of you, making you almost piss yourself in fear
>yfw the girl you drove to suicide is standing before you again in nothing but a sexy apron
>maybe she came back for revenge
>maybe...that would be for the best
>no more work
>no more fluffies
>no more endless misery and depression
>finally, a moment of peace and tranquility

>the woman before you sees the terrified look on your face and giggles
"Daddy, don't you recognize me? It's me, Treasure."
>your brain is full of fuck right now
>you try to ask her why, but you can't even choke out any words
>she eventually gets the idea when you write it down on a nearby pad of paper
How?
Why?
What?
"Magic! I saw a picture book in your closet one day. There was this one picture of a girl with...um...stuff on it. It seemed like you really liked her that way, so I wanted to surprise you as thanks for taking care of me all this time."
>that photo album was in an electronically locked safe
>it was your most guarded possession
>and she was snooping through your most valued things without your permission
>that, coupled with the shock of seeing the girl you killed, made you want to strangle the life out of her right then and there
>you grab her throat with both hands and started squeezing with all your might
>the look of horror and betrayal didn't phase you one bit
>thinking back on it, your face must have contorted into high octane nightmare fuel
>not that you could even think about anything when filled with pure berserker rage
>a single tear rolls down her cheek as she smiles
"Love...Daddy..."

>somewhere in your cold, shriveled heart, a faint bit of blood started pumping through your ice cold veins again
>you release your grip and fell to the floor, a sobbing unintelligable mess
>so much for peace and tranquility
>all you feel is the sudden urge to use that razor blade on yourself
>before you can get up and grab it, a pair of white angelic wings envelopes you
>Treasure tightly embraces you, even after you just tried to choke her to death
>maybe it's from the adrenaline crash, or no longer having any desire to live, but everything became blurry after that
>not for her, though
>she was beaming at your lack of resistance
>first the two of you share a kiss
>then things got really intimate
>while you faded in and out of consciousness, you couldn't really tell much about what was going on
>you later remembered only two things about that night
>you were bangin' an angel
>and it felt awesome

>the next morning you woke up feeling like the million bucks they'll be paying you daily until you're fired in 6 days
>Treasure is curled up next to you, a wide smile permanently plastered on her face
>what a crazy dream you had
>like you'd ever fuck a fluffy pony
>ha! you're not that kind of sick fuck
>you go about your morning routine
>shower, get dressed, go off to work
>you don't care that you're getting fire anymore
>somehow, that dream fixed something broken inside you
>and as long as you had treasure, everything would work out one way or another
>another day filled with corporate cockblocking and projectile salivating
>yay.jpg

>you come home to see Treasure waiting on the couch for you
"Daddy...we need to talk."
>even if it's your fluffy pony saying it, your heart instinctually skips a beat when that line is said
>it's the bane of men everywhere, a telltale sign that they should brace themselves and prepare for a shitstorm
>you sit down next to her without saying anything
>it couldn't be about that silly dream, it just couldn't
>and then your jimmies spontaneously combust
"I'm pregnant."
>if your head could implode right then and there, by golly it would have
>you're about to tell her that couldn't possibly true, but she delivers the knockout punch before you get the chance
"It's yours, Brad."
>BAM! POW! Straight into cardiac arrest!
>you start hyperventilating as she tries to calm you down
>it doesn't work
>your chest feels like someone just put it through a blender
>Brad's daily life has never been worse
>fuckitall.jpg

>suddenly a realization dawns on you
>this is finally your chance to make it right
>sure, you're going straight to hell when you die
>but until then, you're not going to waste your second chance at this
>you take Treasure to the scientists at Hasbro BioToys
>nobody knows fluffies better than them
>they designed Treasure, after all
>you're surprised to find out that she's only carrying one foal
>it's larger and a bit different than normal fluffy foals
>scientists at HBT analyze it
>they shit bricks
>your unholy and immoral one night stand with that angel has created a real life G4 pony
>scientists never actually bothered to test what would happen if the fluffy you designed ever gave special hugs to a human, but then again, why would they?
>if they'd been asked to test the outcome of a fluffy turning into a human and having relations with one, they would've locked you up in an asylum
>BUT WHO'S CRAZY NOW, HUH?!
>well, you still are
>but now you'll be crazy AND rich
>again
>take that, mom and dad
>and they said you'd never amount to anything

>a week later your foal is born
>it ages and develops similar to a human
>the scientists at Hasbro BioToys cloned your daughter and created a new line of designer bio toys
>they were ready for those goddamn animal activists this time
>there wasn't enough bleach to wash away the red staining the facility's walls
>unfortunately, the scientists forgot to make the Real G4 Ponies (copyright Hasbro BioToys) sterile
>not that they cared
>after their union was crushed by their greedy corporate bosses, their hearts just weren't as into the work anymore
>years passed, with the human population slowly declining
>G4 ponies were selling like hotcakes
>they were smart like humans, capable like humans and considered nothing more than toys, making them an ever more appealing alternative to real relationships in a country where those of opposite genders were growing increasingly frustrated with one another
>all girls wanted ponies
>all boys wanted something to fuck with reckless abandon

>while this all happened, you and Treasure raised the original G4 Pony, Wind, the best a human and fluffy pairing could
>getting filthy fuckin' rich from the sale of G4 ponies helped alot, though
>but your happy family life didn't last long
>Treasure was still a fluffy pony
>due to her accelerated aging and fucked up genetics, she died from sudden organ failure
>you and Wind shed all your tears that day
>life went on, and eventually the heartache became more of a dull throb
>decades went by, with Wind eventually succeeding you at the company
>it was time for you to retire and watch the world you once knew disappear
>G4 ponies had almost completely replaced humanity
>they were no longer mere toys
>those ponies were now people, with all the civil rights that once upon a time only applied to humans
>at first you were rather distressed that you'd caused the extinction of the human race
>but every time you looked at Wind, you felt your heart melt
>you knew that even if people were no longer around, well, maybe the world would be better that way
>it's a shame you wouldn't be around to see it
>all those years of heavy drinking finally caught up with you
>not that you ever drank any less
>you still needed help coping with the fact that you fucked a fluffy pony
>but your liver wasn'tvery understanding
>it died on you, taking you with it

>moments before breathing your final breath, you pulled Wind close to you
>she'd been crying at your bedside the whole time
"Wind, my dear sweet Wind, please, take care of this planet. Take care of your kind. Don't make the same mistakes we humans did. Don't let hatred and intolerance tear you apart."
>she smiles and kisses you on the cheek
"Don't worry, an alicorn goddess has ascended to take power of all ponykind. Her name...it came from old pony lore. Maybe you've heard of it. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic."
>ohfuck.jpg
>they've become religious
>can't be bothered to care that much
>you're gonna be dead in a minute or two, after all
"Wind, my precious Wind, tell your papa what that pony's name is."
"Father, her name is Faust."
>you can't help but chuckle at the irony
>for a moment, you wonder what other fantastic creatures HBT has been spawning in your absence
>oh well, Wind's got it all covered
>now it's time for you to rest
>and that's how Equestria was made
>BELIEVE IT!

>you're falling down a rocky pit
>there's fire everywhere
>the walls are burning red
>but this doesn't surprise you at all
>you lived a good, full life
>even if a good part of it drove you to drink
>you brace yourself for your fate
>only to fall into the seat of a speedboat
>sitting next to you is a humanized Treasure
>or just another one of her transformations
>gotta love those angel wings, though
>especially the irony of her having them in hell
>guess she's your...
>you take off the sunglasses you didn't have a second ago
>...HELL'S ANGEL
>theme music starts playing
>you push a button
>the speedboats jet thrusters let out a burst of flame
>the boat jumps a shark
>lands on your four ex wives, crushing all of them
>you pass by the dock near Lou Cypher's villa
>he's standing there waving
>the two of you share a brofist as you and Treasure pass by
>it's the beginning of Brad and Treasure's Excellent Adventure
>with the fluffy pony menace still at large up on the now pony dominated Earth, you and Treasure are sent back up there to exterminate all of them once and for all
>don't forget your S-Mart brand boomstick
>lifeisgood.jpg