Racist Windows Support

Chat Transcript
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You are now chatting with 'Rares P.'.
Rares P.: At Microsoft Store we just launched two new amazing products:  MS Band  is here together with the new Surface 3! Check them out or ask for more details now!
Rares P.: Thank you for contacting Microsoft Store Chat! My name is Rares, how may I help you today?
You: Hello, I'm looking to buy a windows laptop
You: And I can only find four on your website http://www.microsoftstore.com/store/msuk/en_GB/list/categoryID.69958800?icid=ComputersR_ModF_laptops_05112015
Rares P.: I will do my best to assist you
You: Ok
Rares P.: Just a moment please
Rares P.: Laptops Uk Store
Rares P.: Please click the link
You: Could you tell me what laptop I'd need to get 512GB SSD, a quad core i7 and 32GB's of RAM ?
Rares P.: One moment
You: I also want it to be fanless, have a dual graphics card, and be solid and sturdy like a mac
Rares P.: Ok, how much you want to spend on that hardware?
You: I don't mind
You: As long as it works out of the box
You: And doesn't get viruses
Rares P.: I would suggest a Surface Pro 3
You: If I have issues with it, can I take it to a genius bar
Rares P.: No, if you will have issues with it you can get it repaired with the warranty
You: Is it any good at running OS X El Capitan ?
You: And will I be able to install pages and keynote on it ?
You: I don't want to buy office you see
Rares P.: No, but you can run the Windows 10 El Brillinate on it
Rares P.: You can get it here
Rares P.: We have a special offer for 10 % off
You: You sure windows 10 is Brilliant ?
Rares P.: Yes, I am positive
You: Will you give me office for free ?
You: But you can't pirate it :/
Rares P.: You will have 14 days to test your hardware and if for some reasons you will not like it you can return it and get your money back no questions asked
You: Whats so good about poopindos 10 anyway ?
You: Does it have continuity ?
Rares P.: Well the browser, cortana, it will have many other features
You: To continue what you was doing on your surface on your iPhone ?
You: Why is cortana worse than siri ?
Rares P.: Cortana is great, I cann compare it with Siri because I did not use that
You: How have you not used siri ? Have they told you to say that ?
Rares P.: You will get updates for your Windows 10 so that all will work great on your device
You: Nice
You: Is it "light years ahead" like the 2015 macbook ?
You: Does it have force touch ?
Rares P.: Just a sec
You: Will my magic mouse work with it
You: Is this a better deal ? 13-inch MacBook Pro with Retina display Item Price:$2,786.00	Quantity (13-inch MacBook Pro with Retina display)	Line Price:$2,786.00 Remove from cart(13-inch MacBook Pro with Retina display) Part number: Z0QP Available to ship: 3-5 business days Hardware 3.1GHz Dual-core Intel Core i7, Turbo Boost up to 3.4GHz 16GB 1866MHz LPDDR3 SDRAM 1TB PCIe-based Flash Storage Intel Iris Graphics 6100 Force Touch trackpad Accessory Kit Backlit Keyboard (English) & User's Guide Apple Thunderbolt to Gigabit Ethernet Adapter Apple Thunderbolt to FireWire Adapter Mini DisplayPort to VGA Adapter Software Photos, iMovie, GarageBand Pages, Numbers, Keynote OS X Show Gift Options (13-inch MacBook Pro with Retina display)
Rares P.: You can use the Arc mouse designed for the Surface
You: Aorus X7 V2 power laptop is the same price as the surface, yet it's better
You: I don't want an arc mouse, I want my apple trackpad & magic mouse
You: How long does it take to ship
You: Whats the resolution ?
You: Is it good for gaming ?
Rares P.: Well if you want a gaming platform then the Surface Pro 3 will not be the device
Rares P.: You can play games but it will not be a hardcore gaming device
You: Ok
You: Oh
You: I just brought one
You: Ooops
You: Have you seen this ? http://www.microsoftstore.com/store/msusa/en_US/pdp/Razer-Blade-Signature-Edition-Gaming-Laptop/productID.313464800
Rares P.: That is great!
You: I didn't really! I brought a mac :)
You: Jk
You: I already had it :)
You: My mac runs windows better than a windows PC
Rares P.: In your opinion
You: It does, I did a geekbench on it
You: Why shouldn't I get this http://www.microsoftstore.com/store/msusa/en_US/pdp/Razer-Blade-Signature-Edition-Gaming-Laptop/productID.313464800
Rares P.: Well that is a great gaming machine
You: But microsoft won't make any money
You: They will if I buy the surface
You: Is there a donate button so I can randomly donate £100000
You: What's Bill Gate's paypal ?
Rares P.: No, you can donate you money to the kids in Africa and not spend it on gaming devices
You: OOOOOOOOO
Rares P.: Old Bill will not need any donations
You: Hahahaha
You: How do you know I haven't donated my money to kids in Africa ?
Rares P.: I dont really
You: So why say it ?
Rares P.: If you did that good for you, you are a good person
You: Whats old bills address ?
You: I'll post him a postcard full of good wishes for the windows ten launch, and I'll remind him of how successful the Vista launch was
Rares P.: Yes the Vista was not that great
Rares P.: But the Windows 10 will be
You: Ok
You: I'm running windows XP can I still get it free ?
Rares P.: I am sorry you can get it for free if you have the 7, or the 8.1
You: So there goes my 10 year old machine
You: Do you still offer windows 1.0 support ?
You: And why do you jump numbers in your product names - 8 to 10, 360 back to One
Rares P.: No, I am sorry we only offer support for Windows 95 and 98
You: Reallly ?
Rares P.: No, I am just kidding
You: oh
You: Do you get customers like me every day ?
Rares P.: Not every day
You: I thought you answered these questions pretty good actually
Rares P.: I guess today is my lucky day:P
You: I guess
You: Now to switch to the mac support team :)
info: Your chat transcript will be sent to jamie.nullriver@gmail.com at the end of your chat.
Rares P.: It is a little crazy here with the Windows 10
You: Yeah ?
You: By
You: Bye*
Rares P.: Ok, thank you for your visit