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The Mysterious Silo of Deadly Dread

a guest Dec 28th, 2014 300 Never
  1.  
  2.           EXT. FARMFIELD - DAY
  3.  
  4.                               THE BRIGADIER
  5.                     Well, here it is DOCTOR.
  6.  
  7.                               THE DOCTOR
  8.                     Yes, I see that thank you very much
  9.                     BRIGADIER. But what is it?
  10.  
  11.                               THE BRIGADIER
  12.                     Well, it appears to be some sort
  13.                     large silo-
  14.  
  15.                               THE DOCTOR
  16.                     Or spaceship.
  17.  
  18.                               THE BRIGADIER
  19.                     - or shipspace - And it appeared
  20.                     last night, almost as if out of
  21.                     thin air.
  22.  
  23.                               THE DOCTOR
  24.                     Hm, yes. Tell me more about its
  25.                     appearance.
  26.  
  27.                               THE BRIGADIER
  28.                     It's right in front of you.
  29.  
  30.                               THE DOCTOR
  31.                     Yes, I know, but I'd like for us to
  32.                     verbally and openly discuss what it
  33.                     looks like.
  34.  
  35.                               THE BRIGADIER
  36.                     Very well. Firstly it's very large.
  37.  
  38.                               THE DOCTOR
  39.                     True.
  40.  
  41.                               THE BRIGADIER
  42.                     And it appears to be made of metal,
  43.                     but we haven't managed to so much
  44.                     as scratch it.
  45.  
  46.                               THE DOCTOR
  47.                     Yes. Extraterrestrial no doubt. But
  48.                     how did it get here...
  49.  
  50.                               THE BRIGADIER
  51.                     And there's those large initials on
  52.                     the side, of course. M. A. S. T. R
  53.  
  54.                               THE DOCTOR
  55.                     What, or who, is responsible for
  56.                     this...
  57.  
  58.                               THE BRIGADIER
  59.                     The silo is perfectly blemishless
  60.                     except for a portion at the top.
  61.                     Large black markings, possibly
  62.                     burns -
  63.  
  64.                               THE DOCTOR
  65.                     What does it all mean?
  66.  
  67.                               THE BRIGADIER
  68.                     - that seem to roughly resemble a
  69.                     beard.
  70.  
  71.                               THE DOCTOR
  72.                     This is all so mysterious,
  73.                     BRIGADIER. I'm afraid we might
  74.                     never solve this one.
  75.  
  76.           A FARMER approaches.
  77.  
  78.                               THE FARMER
  79.                     Howdy.
  80.  
  81.                               THE DOCTOR
  82.                     Who are you?
  83.  
  84.                               THE BRIGADIER
  85.                     This would be MR...
  86.  
  87.                               THE FARMER
  88.                     ASTER. JOHN ASTER.
  89.  
  90.                               THE BRIGADIER
  91.                     That's right! This is MR. ASTER, he
  92.                     owns this farmland.
  93.  
  94.                               THE FARMER
  95.                     Yeah I do. What's the deal with
  96.                     this silo thing though? Pretty
  97.                     weird, am I right guys?
  98.  
  99.                               THE DOCTOR
  100.                     Most strange.
  101.  
  102.                               THE FARMER
  103.                     Does it scare you?
  104.  
  105.           Beat.
  106.  
  107.                               THE FARMER
  108.                     Or maybe you think it's really
  109.                     really impressive... ?
  110.  
  111.           Beat.
  112.  
  113.                               THE FARMER
  114.                     I'm a farmer.
  115.  
  116.                               THE BRIGADIER
  117.                     Don't you worry MR. ASTER, we'll
  118.                     get it solved and off your land in
  119.                     no time.
  120.  
  121.                               THE FARMER
  122.                     Thanks, soldierman. I gotta go now.
  123.                     Gotta go... farm. Because I'm a
  124.                     farmer. Bye.
  125.  
  126.           THE FARMER walks away.
  127.  
  128.                               THE DOCTOR
  129.                     There's something strange about
  130.                     that man...
  131.  
  132.                               THE BRIGADIER
  133.                     Yes. He looked quite... familiar.
  134.  
  135.                               THE DOCTOR
  136.                     I thought so too. The beard
  137.                     especially
  138.  
  139.                               THE BRIGADIER
  140.                     He has a strikingly resemblance to
  141.                     THE MASTER, you don't think...
  142.  
  143.                               THE DOCTOR
  144.                     He did look exactly like him, I
  145.                     agree, but there's something you've
  146.                     overlooked.
  147.  
  148.                               THE BRIGADIER
  149.                     Oh? What's that?
  150.  
  151.                               THE DOCTOR
  152.                     His eyes, didn't you notice? THE
  153.                     FARMER had blue eyes. But as we
  154.                     both know, THE MASTER's are a deep
  155.                     beautiful dark brown. Sort of like
  156.                     mud but not in a dirty way. THE
  157.                     MASTER's eyes make you think of mud
  158.                     caked on the bottom of your boots
  159.                     after a long day of carefree
  160.                     adventure. They're like mud being
  161.                     scraped off by your parents while
  162.                     you lie down on the carpet before a
  163.                     crackling fire and have a nap.So he
  164.                     couldn't have been THE MASTER.
  165.  
  166.                               THE BRIGADIER
  167.                     Hm. Yes. You're quite right.
  168.  
  169.                               THE DOCTOR
  170.                     Besides, we know for a fact that
  171.                     THE MASTER is not a farmer.
  172.  
  173.           Loud scraping noises.
  174.  
  175.                               THE DOCTOR
  176.                     What's that sound?
  177.  
  178.                               THE BRIGADIER
  179.                     Look, it's the silo. It's beginning
  180.                     to move. The top. It's almost as if
  181.                     it's opening...
  182.  
  183.           The silo slides open and thousands of bats streak out,
  184.           filling the sky.
  185.  
  186.                               THE DOCTOR
  187.                     HOLY FUCK!!!
  188.  
  189.                               THE BRIGADIER
  190.                     Thousands of bats have streaked out
  191.                     of the silo and are now filling the
  192.                     sky!
  193.  
  194.                               THE DOCTOR
  195.                     BRIGADIER we've got to get out of
  196.                     here! We've get to get these people
  197.                     safe!
  198.  
  199.           THE BRIGADIER and THE DOCTOR run across the field.
  200.  
  201.                               THE BRIGADIER
  202.                     Look, there's THE FARMER!
  203.  
  204.                               THE DOCTOR
  205.                     We better grab him!
  206.  
  207.           THE DOCTOR runs up to THE FARMER and grabs him.
  208.  
  209.                               THE DOCTOR
  210.                     MR. FARMER we gotta get out of
  211.                     here! Look at all these fucking
  212.                     bats!!
  213.  
  214.                               THE FARMER
  215.                     Oh I don't think I'll be going
  216.                     anywhere, DOCTOR...
  217.  
  218.                               THE DOCTOR
  219.                     There's bats everywhere you fucking
  220.                     idiot! Fuck!
  221.  
  222.                               THE FARMER
  223.                     Hang on, I want to SHOW you
  224.                     something...
  225.  
  226.                               THE BRIGADIER
  227.                     What is he doing? Why is he
  228.                     reaching up to his eyes? Contacts?
  229.                     DOCTOR, THE FARMER wears contacts
  230.                     instead of glasses and he's
  231.                     removing them right this minute.
  232.  
  233.           THE FARMER removes the contacts.
  234.  
  235.                               THE BRIGADIER
  236.                     They are now removed and we can see
  237.                     his eyes and his eyes are not blue,
  238.                     DOCTOR. They are not blue.
  239.  
  240.                               THE DOCTOR
  241.                     THE MASTER!!
  242.  
  243.           THE MASTER laughs.
  244.  
  245.                               THE DOCTOR
  246.                     You were THE MASTER all along! You
  247.                     hid your deeply and profoundly
  248.                     beautiful eyes from us!
  249.  
  250.                               THE MASTER
  251.                     A cunning disguise. But there's
  252.                     more.
  253.  
  254.                               THE BRIGADIER
  255.                     More?
  256.  
  257.                               THE MASTER
  258.                     Look to the silo.
  259.  
  260.                               THE DOCTOR
  261.                     CHRIST! THE FUCKING BATS, I FORGOT!
  262.  
  263.                               THE MASTER
  264.                     Not the bats, you fool. Look at the
  265.                     silo itself. There is writing on
  266.                     it.
  267.  
  268.                               THE BRIGADIER
  269.                     Yes, we know. It says M. A. S. T.
  270.                     R. But what's it mean?
  271.  
  272.                               THE DOCTOR
  273.                     BRIGADIER I think I've solved it.
  274.                     The answer was staring us in the
  275.                     face all along. If you add an "E",
  276.                     specifically between the "T" and the
  277.                     "R", it spells "MASTER".
  278.  
  279.           THE MASTER laughs.
  280.  
  281.                               THE BRIGADIER
  282.                     What's it all FOR though? What's
  283.                     your dastardly plan?
  284.  
  285.                               THE DOCTOR
  286.                     What are the bats, MASTER? What are
  287.                     they going to do?
  288.  
  289.                               THE MASTER
  290.                     They're just bats.
  291.  
  292.                               THE DOCTOR
  293.                     Oh.
  294.  
  295.                               THE MASTER
  296.                     Regular unaltered bats, native to
  297.                     this planet.
  298.  
  299.                               THE DOCTOR
  300.                     Oh okay. Feel a bit silly about all
  301.                     the yelling and swearing I did now.
  302.  
  303.                               THE MASTER
  304.                     Oh but you haven't heard my plan
  305.                     yet DOCTOR!
  306.  
  307.                               THE DOCTOR
  308.                     Yeah?
  309.  
  310.                               THE MASTER
  311.                     This is an enormous quantity of
  312.                     bats. Introducing this many bats so
  313.                     suddenly to the ecosystem will have
  314.                     devastating effects. They'll
  315.                     consume all of the insects, deeply
  316.                     affecting other animals that rely
  317.                     on them for their diets.
  318.  
  319.           THE MASTER laughs.
  320.  
  321.           Beat.
  322.  
  323.                               THE DOCTOR
  324.                     I don't really care about the
  325.                     environment.
  326.  
  327.                               THE BRIGADIER
  328.                     Yeah this is definitely not one of
  329.                     UNIT's responsibilities. Bye.
  330.  
  331.           THE DOCTOR and THE BRIGADIER walk away.
  332.  
  333.                               THE MASTER
  334.                     What? Where are you going!
  335.  
  336.                               THE DOCTOR
  337.                     Back to HQ. My feet are tired and
  338.                     I'm sleepy.
  339.  
  340.                               THE BRIGADIER
  341.                     Yeah I'm pretty sleepy too.
  342.  
  343.                               THE MASTER
  344.                     Aren't you going to try to stop me!
  345.  
  346.           THE DOCTOR and THE BRIGADIER's voices are now distant.
  347.  
  348.                               THE DOCTOR
  349.                     No.
  350.  
  351.                               THE MASTER
  352.                     Are you going to arrest me?
  353.  
  354.                               THE BRIGADIER
  355.                     What for? Fucking BATS?
  356.  
  357.           THE DOCTOR and THE BRIGADIER laugh heartily and leave THE
  358.           MASTER on his own.
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