EA!

Spoken:

Woe to you, oh gamers and neckbeards, for the Devil sends the company with wrath,
Because he knows the time is short…
Let him who hath understanding reckon the name of the company
For it is a human name
It's name, is EA

Sung/Spoken/Weird Shit that Bruce Dickinson does:

I left alone, my game was done
I needed time to think, to get the memories from my mind

What did I see?
Can I believe that what I just played was real and not just fantasy?

Just what I saw, on my desktop screen
Were they reflections of my warped taste staring back at me?

'Cause on the screen, it's still there!
This awful game that twists my mind and brings me to despair!

[Incomprehensible Screaming Noises]

I played the game, at first it wasn't lame
The cutscenes were good, I saw no falsehood
But then I came into the actual game
And what did I see?  A complete mockery!

It's EA!  The worst company
But they'll cry “It's just misogyny!”

Shut up EA, your games are a chore to play
You killed Bioware, their writing brings despair
The graphics are poor, I can't take anymore
And you'll throw a fit, as I claim the controls are shit!

It's EA! The worst company
Their games are a sore sight to see

This can't go on I must inform the law
This can't be real, drones defend it with zeal!
But then I'm drawn towards the chanting hordes
No! I must withstand the torrent- ooh, Star Wars Battlefront!

It's EA!  The worst company
It's EA!  The one for you and me

I'm coming back!
I will return!
And I'll possess your vidya and make it burn!
I have the money!
I have the force!
I have the power to make my evil take it's course!