Creation and Destruction

Every time I see a life disappear I can’t help but smile. Forests die in fire, cities crumble to time, bodies yield to rot. I have witnessed it all. Everything with a beginning naturally has an end. It is a universal law much older than I. However, I find it a little strange. In the face of death many lives succumb to fear, tears are shed, they cry out. But what is there to weep for? Red flames, blowing dust, rot—they are the proof of life.
It’s funny.

Is it wrong to smile in the face of death? Is it wrong to laugh when everyone around me is crying? I can’t help it. Death makes me smile… but it also makes my heart ache.

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With every step I take life births beneath my feet. Forest sing in the wind, creatures dance in the sun and their songs fill the sky. That is life in its purest form. It is spring: the season of rebirth. Day old flowers bloom, bobbing in the breeze. They are shaded by massive trees which have lived on for years, and which, too, are blooming.

Like the sky, it is uplifting, and my spirit is soaring.

Yet… I do not understand. My heart starts beating faster when witnessing birth. It feels as if it is twisting and scrunching together. It is a feeling so heavy that it’s though I’m rooted to the ground. My heart is soaring yet I am unable to rid the frown from my face.

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I flew over the village and cast my beam of destruction upon it. The red energy tore through the earth and burst it into flames. Red ghosts were rising, burning into my skin and my throat. With great heaves of my wings, I shattered houses and uprooted trees. I fanned the flames.

My world was filled with screaming. It was interesting watching them run and scream. Humans always act so interestingly when they’re faced with destruction and situations beyond their control. Many were uninteresting, useless, only running around and screaming, looking for a way out from the surrounding wall of flames. Some looked like they wanted to be braver and looked up into the sky with rage-filled eyes, wishing they had the fists to crush me like they did with everything else. But I was too far up for them to ever reach. Perhaps taunting them, body aglow in firelight, I flew over them, screeching.

They’re all so small. Little, black dots. The moon was nowhere to be seen, unable to guide them. I rose in its place and became a red beacon. They scattered below.

It’s not enough, and with a screech I sent another wave of red down. Fragile huts shattered and incinerated—how many days had it taken for them to build, I wonder? Ripening crops turned to ash in the blink of an eye—how much work was put to making them grow? Small lives were put out and I pondered how many days I have stolen from them. It makes me grin.

There comes a time when there is nothing more for me to destroy. I didn’t want to kill all of them. If they were all gone then there would be nothing left. I don’t like nothingness; it’s different from death, and different from illness which precedes it. While I destroyed, while humans and creatures run and fell below me, I couldn’t let the flames go out. If I destroyed too much… even the fire would disappear. That would make me sad.
So I flew over the small human settlement and watched the world burn.

I continued this for a while longer but eventually the horizon began to brighten. I left before sunrise.

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A few weeks later I returned to the village. I hid my form among the branches of ancient trees where no one could see me. I heard the tree groan, felt it grow weak and begin to decay from where my claws gripped it.
The once bustling human settlement was transformed into a stained black ruin. Houses were like blackened bones, rising and alone but looking like they were connected at one time. Some of them were better than others, but each one was beyond quick repair. Their lives here were gone, and it took me mere minutes to steal it all from them. That’s what I like about death… and about life too, I suppose. Some things take such a long time to grow or to be built, but no matter how long it’s stayed alive for, its life can be erased in the blink of an eye. That’s what I can do. That makes me smile.

Do not think ill of me. I did not return to finish off what little remained. That would lead to nothingness and that would make me sad. I was here to watch… to observe, you could say. I knew I would see them eventually, so I waited until that time.

When the sun had risen to the top of the sky, I began to see movement. People. They were crawling out. It started as one but then more and more appeared. One became two, and two became five, and five became many little black dots. With a strange glee I watched them shambling aimlessly through the ruined town.

It was enthralling, really, watching the things that they would do. Some humans just stood there, looking upward, looking down, kneeling, or just lying down without getting back up again. Others were more proactive, it seemed, and picked through the ruins of their houses, throwing aside boards and ashes but finding only blackness underneath: ruin underneath ruin. That was good; I hadn’t left anything salvageable behind. That was the point of destruction, you know.

Destruction left silence.

Humans didn’t have the power to create life out of nothing. They liked to think of themselves as gods, crawling all over the earth like they owned it. I found them so arrogant, thinking they could take away life like I did. I liked to remind them of their place. I liked to remind them of their sadness. They weren’t bigger than nature. They couldn’t do anything if their paradise had fallen over.

I felt myself smiling.

It was then that I saw something unexpected. Someone collapsed as they were walking down the street; they fell to their knees and did not get back up again. The few other humans around him didn’t seem to pay him much attention, too preoccupied with their own immobility. I watched the fallen human for a long time, and it didn’t look like anyone was going to come to him. Typical.

I felt rather sick and I was about to turn and leave… but before I could… something caught my attention.
Someone else started walking directly toward the man. It was simple really, nothing out of the ordinary, plain… but they way they moved, with such purpose, seized my eyes to them. The approaching person stopped in front of him… and offered him their hand.

At first, the fallen one didn’t make a move; he didn’t even look upward; he didn’t even look like he knew help was there. The offerer, however, didn’t withdraw their hand and they didn’t walk away. Very slowly, almost unnoticeably, the fallen person responded… and they took that hand. He was helped to his feet. They brushed off each other’s clothes, looked all over each other’s bodies, touched their faces and spoke words. They nodded their heads and smiled. With one arm around the other, they walked out of my sight.

…What on earth was that…

I then saw more movement! More people were crawling out from the rubble, but I realized, with a sharp feeling in my chest, that they moved with purpose. They gathered to one another! And… to my utter disbelief… began to clear rubble out of the streets. Little humans, big humans, young humans, old humans, wounded humans, healthy humans, humans, humans… there was no restriction. All of them started picking up the ruins little by little and bit by bit.

What on earth is this…?

I watched them continue on for a very long time. They formed groups, one large one and then many small ones, and each one of these units created action. Soon, one large group was formed, and setting up a sort of make-shift roof with cloth held up by posts, they brewed enough food to feed everyone in a great pot. They were all together speaking words that I could not understand. They cleaned each other’s wounds. They touched each other’s bodies. Many were smiling.

I could not look away.

I could not smile at this, but there was no aching in my heart either. There was nothing.

I left with the sun.