It was on the third day of sailing that Iateyour Pie first saw her. "Seagull..." the mumbled word escaped from his lips before his fatigued mind could restrain them. She was the most beautiful bird to have ever graced his vision: her regal, bulbous beak, the herald of her presence; her slender, delicate legs, trailing effortlessly in the path of her flight; her beady, piercing eyes, camouflaging a fierce but undeniable intelligence; her feathered, wide-spread wings, beating against the wind to pridefully defy even the laws of nature themselves; and, above all, her incomprehensibly circular body, a shape so exotic compared to the flat and lifeless reality of Pie's existence until this moment that he knew, without a moment's hesitation, that his singular purpose in life must be to hold her body against his own.

As if anticipating these thoughts of desire, the seagull traced a lazy path around the ship's deck and alighted on its railing, close enough to Pie transfix his entire vision, but far enough away to be out of immediate reach. "Kaw", she cried, "kaw kaw!" Of course, the only sound she was able to emit, but yet, Pie was sure he could hear a tone of lust in those cries. A reflection of his desperate desire, perhaps imagined, but nevertheless believed. He reached out a tentative hand towards the gull, the fear of scaring it off causing his fingers to tremble, but his fears were unfounded, for the stately creature began to hop curiously toward his outstretched grasp. His heart began to thrash against the confines of his chest, his constricted lungs begged for air, and his mind could think of nothing except the potential ecstacy of a single night - no, a single moment! - alone with this magnificent creature.

"Kaw?" the seagull's cry almost failed to reach his ears, but once it did, snapped his concentration back to the reality of the situation: at some point, though he could not comprehend when or how, the seagull had closed the entire distance between them, and her head was now resting against Pie's finger. "Could this... is it... are you..." words spilled from Pie's mind and into the air with no regard for their lack of cohesive meaning. After a moment, he managed to piece together an entire thought, and put it to speech, fearfully yet fiercely whispered: "I've never needed anything as much as I need you now, Seagull. Will you come with me?" The seagull turned her head upward in contemplation, a sign of understanding that set Pie's mind racing anew. "Kaw" cried the gull decisively as it hopped further toward Pie, past his extended arm, drifting closer to his embrace. Pie's entire body was frozen as he waited to see where the gull's vicissitudes would take her, allowing her to have her way with his body. In response to this tacit invitation, and upon reaching Pie's body, the gull turned to face away from him. Then, suddenly, she vacated her bowels in Pie's general direction, most of the stream dripping onto his shoes, but a great deal of it splattering over his pants and even onto his shirt. Pie's paralysis of expectant desire transformed into a paralysis of horror as the seagull pushed its powerful wings against the sky and took flight away from the boat. And as it grew smaller in his vision, circling higher and higher above his vessel, he was sure he could hear it screech the words, "fak u pie".