- A journey through the thought process of an illiterate PC user. -

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"Where do I start? I can't google much of anything if I don't know what I'm googling for!"
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The Basics: 

1: Visual Styles
Taskbar and Window appearance. 
http://neiio.deviantart.com/art/How-to-Install-Custom-Themes-262833454
http://nanami-tan.info/#Win7Themes
http://nanami-tan.info/#ThemeBuilding

2: Icons
Folder and program icons.
http://neiio.deviantart.com/art/How-to-Install-Custom-Themes-262833454 (view the bottom of the page)
http://nanami-tan.info/#Icons
http://nanami-tan.info/#IconTools

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"Okay, I've read all this information but there's still stuff out there that I want to try."
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Improving workflow:

1: Auto Hot Key
"Tiling" or spacing windows evenly, keystrokes, and window management.
http://nanami-tan.info/#AHK
http://nanami-tan.info/#Tiling

2: Workspaces
Having more than one "desktop" available to switch too. 
http://nanami-tan.info/#Workspaces

3: Window Management
Can also technically be just tiling with AHK. More advanced stuff is available.
http://nanami-tan.info/#WMsShells

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"How are people making stuff look so minimal?"
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1: Registry editing
You can toggle visible elements of explorer through the registry.
http://nanami-tan.info/#RegEdit

2: Taskbar Tweaking
Editing the taskbar either with software or modifying their visual style.
http://nanami-tan.info/#Taskbar

3: Replacing their file browser
You don't have to use explorer to browse your files. 
http://nanami-tan.info/#Explorer

4: Auto Hot Key (again)
Using scripts to manipulate window captions and frames.
http://nanami-tan.info/#AHK

5: Custom Visual Style
Either they made it themselves, or used something like bbleanskin + 3DCC.
True Transparency is also a possibility. 
http://nanami-tan.info/#ThemeBuilding
http://nanami-tan.info/#HackTools

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"Some people look like they are using linux on windows. How is this possible?"
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1: Alternate Shells
The most popular is Blackbox.
http://nanami-tan.info/#BB4Win
http://nanami-tan.info/#WMsShells
http://www.sevenforums.com/customization/62411-windows-7-shell-replacements.html

2: Cygwin
Emulate a linux environment on Windows.
http://nanami-tan.info/#Cygwin

3: Rainmeter
Smoke and mirrors.
http://nanami-tan.info/#Rainmeter

4: Custom Visual Style
Either they made it themselves, or used something like bbleanskin + 3DCC.
True Transparency is also a possibility. 
http://nanami-tan.info/#ThemeBuilding
http://nanami-tan.info/#HackTools

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"My internet browser still looks like shit though."
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1: CSS
"He can't even copy and paste shit or read tagged code, oh my god."
Check your Firefox version for compatibility before complaining a CSS is nonfunctional.
http://www.gbgl-hq.com/demoness/FF_CSS_Installation_Guide.png
http://nanami-tan.info/#FFCSS
http://nanami-tan.info/#FFAddons

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"What about my music player? I see these really cool looking minimal players a lot."
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1: It's probably foobar
90% of skins are modified from ncmpcpp mod. 
http://nanami-tan.info/#Music
http://scope10.deviantart.com/art/AIMP-3-5-ncmpcpp-327309040
http://twnsnd.deviantart.com/art/foobar-ncmpcpp-mod-289083149
http://pastebin.com/raw.php?i=QbGNnzsZ

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"And my irc client?"
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1: Just use Hexchat and gtk.
You probably are too new to try something else. 
http://nanami-tan.info/#IRC

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"None of this shit works, or I'm too afraid I'll fuck up my computer."
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1: Make backups.
Create a system restore point. 
Never overwrite a file without backing it up first either with system restore or manually. 
Never edit/resource hack a file (dll) in use. 
Backup your registry.

2: Software Literacy
Error Code: ID10T - Please review documentation on the software website and/or search forums.