derp@example.com writes:

> http://www.slideshare.net/vishnu/the-top-10-reasons-the-ruby-programming-language-sucks
>
>
> Ruby clowns trying to say Ruby is Teh Bettar. 

I love their language comparison that puts real Ruby code against
made up not even good fakes from other languages.

Dude I just this week ran into an issue with Ruby.

So I upgraded Ruby along with other shit on my system.  Not a major
upgrade, not even a minor upgrade, a frickin patchlevel.  Ruby asswipes
decided to swap out the YAML parsing engine for a different one that's
known to be entirely incompatible.  Now YAML is their festering excuse
for a markup language and users are encouraged to use it everywhere and
take advantage of what I've come to find out is implementation specific
shit ("in Ruby you can <<$%#@herp.id to achieve blah" not "if you use
this specific parsing engine", doubtless because "parsing engine" is too
big a word and would frighten someone away -- as well it should in this
case -- from the "look you don't even have to *think* to use Rails!!1"
tutorials they seem to favor) not to mention they have a fetish for
pointlessly serializing things to and from text in inner loops.

Anyway so I had shit break all over the place in 3 places: config file I
wrote; code I had one of my guys write and was merging in, and some shit
deep in the bowels of Ruby.  Or Rails.  Who the fuck knows because they
love injecting shit into core libraries at runtime.  They shrug off what
this means for using 2 unrelated libraries together that both love this
method_missing shit, and they don't even have a symbol packaging system
like Common Lisp's which would prevent half of that.  So because I was
trying to merge when this happened I thought my guy wrote unportable
code or it was a versioning thing.  Took me 4-6 hours to track this
bullshit down and then *compile my system Ruby differently* to make it
compatible with one application.  Best part: I'm sure some different
implementation will break differently because of having this other YAML
engine built in.

Ruby is a halfway decent attempt at a language by a bright kid with
absolutely no real world experience in language design whatsoever.  Even
its promoters argue for it, no joke, by saying "well don't be mean to
Matz because he didn't know what he was doing when he wrote that part".
I don't get the point of it when Perl exists but whatever.  At least the
Perlists have the decency to admit to an embarrassing hack when needed.
And Rails.  Ugh.  Rails is a junk heap of claptrap clattering its way
through the mistakes every other platform made and solved 20 years ago.
It doesn't encourage bad practices, it *is* a bad practice.  Since day
one until actually very recently when it would spew pages and pages of
skeleton code onto disk, instead of providing a library to call, and
clog up your version control with irrelevancies.  Now it's even more
hilarious because instead of having half the application in some "gems"
somewhere and half forked indefinitely from application to application,
it's in these libraries that every application is supposed to download
its own copy of (when it's not h4x0ring your system to be how it thinks
would be nicer) and it leaves you of even less of a clue how things work
when the "magic" isn't exactly what you want.

Oh wait I forgot that means your problem isn't worth solving if it's not
something Rails can do out of the box in a 3-line tutorial (because you
know anything more than a lazy-ass README in the GitHub (always GitHub)
project would be just asking too much, man).  You know, these guys love
shitting on PHP and Java (doubtless because that's all they know exists;
hipsters are everywhere and these are just the programming variant; they
aren't known for deep research into their fads and ironic slams) but
shitting on PHP doesn't get you any points because everyone knows to
shit on PHP, and you know what the Java community has going for it,
despite the shitty language and their love of circle jerk pointless
overabstraction, is a fetish for documentation; Javadocs are everywhere
and projects tend to have a project site and an actual API guide of some
sort.  And the Ruby folks never getting around to defining their
function argument syntax -- I'm not making this up; look it up -- means
when you look at their docs good luck even figuring out what arguments a
function takes.

What a slimy yeasty overgrowth of disgusting fungus.  I swear there are
various platforms I truly have to say I despise but they are my go-to
because they are frakking *predictable* and don't break everyone's work
they need for a living because some douche thought
14.furlongs.in.18.fortnights was a cuter syntax or some similar
nonsense.  I won't name names because they'll nitpick but I can off the
top of my head name 12 languages and frameworks that I can just sit down
and *work* in and *produce*.  Any Rails project ends up taking hours and
hours of time a week just purely dealing with Ruby and Rails bullshit.
I guess that would feel really productive and I could livemicroblog
about how easy it was to spend an entire workday refactoring my whole
application for some other pointless Railsisism.  Problem is I don't
make my living by wanking about Rails and I don't make my living making
pointless HTML front ends with a single text field in 18 point Helvetica
to a "backend" that doesn't consider any edge cases.  I make my living
Getting. Shit. Done.  Rails doesn't help with that.