Attention news media and panicking bloggers:

     _                                                                     _   
    / \   _ __  _   _  ___  _ __   ___    ___ __ _ _ __    _ __   ___  ___| |_ 
   / _ \ | '_ \| | | |/ _ \| '_ \ / _ \  / __/ _` | '_ \  | '_ \ / _ \/ __| __|
  / ___ \| | | | |_| | (_) | | | |  __/ | (_| (_| | | | | | |_) | (_) \__ \ |_ 
 /_/   \_\_| |_|\__, |\___/|_| |_|\___|  \___\__,_|_| |_| | .__/ \___/|___/\__|
                |___/                                     |_|                  
  _          ____           _       ____  _                             
 | |_ ___   |  _ \ __ _ ___| |_ ___| __ )(_)_ __      _   _  ___  _   _ 
 | __/ _ \  | |_) / _` / __| __/ _ \  _ \| | '_ \    | | | |/ _ \| | | |
 | || (_) | |  __/ (_| \__ \ ||  __/ |_) | | | | |_  | |_| | (_) | |_| |
  \__\___/  |_|   \__,_|___/\__\___|____/|_|_| |_( )  \__, |\___/ \__,_|
                                                 |/   |___/             
                              _   _           
  _ __  _   _ _ __ ___  _ __ | |_(_) ___  ___ 
 | '_ \| | | | '_ ` _ \| '_ \| __| |/ _ \/ __|
 | | | | |_| | | | | | | |_) | |_| |  __/\__ \
 |_| |_|\__,_|_| |_| |_| .__/ \__|_|\___||___/
                       |_|                    


  Stop freaking out and writing hysterical news articles based on a single
  anonymous message. You did it with the Britain's Got Talent thing, and
  now you're doing it with the "census leak".

 (On the other hand, if they actually release the data?
  You should totally start freaking out.)