Hi, I'm Teddy. Once you read this you cannot get out. Finish reading this until it is done! As I have already said, I'm Teddy. I'm -36 years old. I don't have nose, or hands, or eyes, or mouth, or ears. My (empty) face is all covered with blood, and it has a hundred teeth inlaid. My mom once soaked me with gasoline and my room with oil. To not get burned, I drunk it all. My dad also wanted to burn me, but I killed him first and stabbed him three hundred seventy four times with a pink Caran D'Aghe aquarelable pencil. I'm Teddy. That day, I ran away and made myself a home in the middle of nowhere, it was a hole, like where hobbits lived. I began my life as a hobbit, got married with an old lady from Las Vegas and had fourty six children. After that, I moved to mexico and killed a cow, and now I live inside it, because I discovered cows have Wi-Fi, but it's a secret, don't tell anyone. Now, I want to find my mom and kill her for what she did to me: Stain my little dinosaur-themed blanket with tomato sauce. I'm Teddy.

If you don't resend this chain letter to a million two thousdand fifty three people in a nanosecond, I'll appear in your screen, I'll start dancing to the tune of "You're A Pirate" Lazy Town song, and then I'll kill you by drinking all your blood and sparkling like Edward.

Don't belive me?

Case 1: Patty the Lululoser.
Patty was a young teenager in the early fifties, and she had internet. She recived this e-mail, and ignored it. You know what happened? I'm Teddy. Some guy shooted her in the head at that right moment and sold her head to a speaking orange.

Case 2: Idiot Idiot.
Idiot was a guy whose name was the same as his surname. He lived in the sixties, and was a pacifist. He recived this letter and sent it only to four people because he disagreed with violence. Well, it was a poor attemp to survive. He's now on deep coma, and has AIDS. We don't know if he'll ever wake up.

Case 3: Princess Peach
Peach was a stupid girl that suffered because her boyfriend was called Mario and everyone made fun of them. Once, she recived this letter, and sent it to a million people in less than a seccond. The other day, she woke up and found that Mario changed his name to Armando Barreda and she won the lottery. Also, she discovered the cure to cancer and got rich. Now she lives in a pallace in the middle of Japan and eats seven times a day, and her clothes are made of gold.

Now, listen carefully! If you don't send this to two hundred fifty five people in less than the time you delay to blink, the guy who acted of King Leonidas in the movie "300" will appear behind you and scream "THIS IS SPARTA", you will become deaf, I will hide under your bed (but you won't hear me because you're deaf) and keep you awake and inside your room with a lot of evil emo clowns for a week, and then, I will kill you slowly and painfully by making you sing Barney's songs again, and again, and again, and again, and again... Now, if you do, all your dreams will become true, you will get rich instantly and sell a Linux copy (no matter it's free and opensource).

Beware, young one!

I'm Teddy.