[S] Past Karkat: Wake up. KARKAT_ *Terezi >Talk to Terezi TEREZI: WOW CH3CK OUT WHO F1N4LLY WOK3 UP! TEREZI: W3V3 B33N TRY1NG TO W4K3 YOU FOR 4N HOUR, BUT YOU W3R3 UNR3SPONS1V3 TO 3VV3N TH3 MOST S3NS3L3SS OF C4N3 DRUBB1NGS >:] KARKAT: MY HEAD HURTS. TEREZI: PROB4BLY DU3 TO TH3 4FOR3M3NT1ON3D NUB DRUBB1NGS KARKAT: WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THE SRUBBINGS. PUT THAT CANE AWAY, DAMMIT. IT’S NOT LIKE YOU EVEN NEED IT. KARKAT: I HAD A HORRIBLE DREAM, OK. TEREZI: OH? KARKAT: I FINALLY WOKE UP ON PROSPIT. TEREZI: YOU D1D??? TEREZI: OH GOD, 1 C4NT B3L13V3 1 M1SS3D 1T! KARKAT: YEAH WELL, SORRY WE CAN’T GO ON OUR ENCHANTED GOLDEN MAGIC CARPET RIDE OR WHATEVER YOU HAD IN STORE FOR US, BUT NOW IT’S TOO LATE. KARKAT: DREAM ME IS DEAD. TEREZI: 1 KNOW >:[ TEREZI: 4LL OF US 4R3, PROSP1T W4S COMPL3T3LY D3STROY3D KARKAT: OH SHIT, REALLY? KARKAT: GUESS THAT’S NOT TOO SURPRISING. ANYWAY, I SAW THE DEMON AGAIN. KARKAT: I THINK I KNOW WHO IT IS. TEREZI: WHO 1S 1T >:? KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW HOW IT’S POSSIBLE... KARKAT: I NEED TO SEARCH FOR MORE ANSWERS BEFORE I KNOW FOR SURE. TEREZI: STOP B31NG MYST3R1OUS 4ND T3LL M3! KARKAT: NO WAY. I’M NOT JUMPING TO HASTY CONCLUSIONS. IF IT TURNS OUT I’M RIGHT, THEN I GUESS WE BOTH GET TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO. TEREZI: 4RGH, F1N3 TEREZI: SO, YOU S4W H1M JUST B3FOR3 H3 D3STROY3D PROSP1T? KARKAT: YEAH. AND THAT WASN’T EVEN THE BAD PART OF THE DREAM. TEREZI: TH4T W4S 4N HOUR 4GO! WH4T H4V3 YOU B33N DR34M1NG 4BOUT S1NC3? KARKAT: I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. KARKAT: THE BOTTOM LINE IS, EVERYONE HERE IS FORBIDDEN FROM GOING TO SLEEP. TEREZI: FORB1DD3N? KARKAT: YES, AS YOUR LEADER, I AM ORDERING ALL PROSPIT DREAMERS TO STAY AWAKE, NO MATTER HOW TIRED YOU GET. TEREZI: UM, 4LR1GHT >:/ KARKAT: DO YOU EVER EVEN GET TIRED? TEREZI: WH4TS TH4T SUPPOS3D TO M34N! KARKAT: ALL YOU DO IS RUN YOUR MOUTH ALL DAY, AND SNIFF AND LICK PEOPLE INAPPROPRIATELY WITH THAT SHIT EATING GRIN. KARKAT: I DON’T THINK I’VE EVER EVEN SEEN YOU YAWN. TEREZI: 1M G3TT1NG PR3TTY T1R3D R1GHT NOW 4S 4 M4TT3R OF F4CT TEREZI: T1R3D OF YOUR BULLSH1T! KARKAT: GOD I’M TIRED. >Get lowdown from Terezi. TEREZI: SO GU3SS WH4T TEREZI: W3V3 B33N 1N CONT4CT W1TH SOM3 4L13NS FROM TH3 UN1V3RS3 W3 CR34T3D KARKAT: OK. SO? TEREZI: DONT YOU TH1NK TH4TS K1ND OF N34T? KARKAT: NO. IT’S BORING. WHO CARES? TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT 4S OUR 1NTR3P1D L34D3R TH4T W4S SOM3TH1NG YOU M1GHT W4NT TO KNOW KARKAT: ALRIGHT, AS LEADER, I RECOMMEND WE DELIVER THEM A DELIGHTFUL GIFT BASKET VIA TRANSUNIVERSAL BULGE THRUST. KARKAT: ARE YOU TAKING THIS DOWN??? TEREZI: >:P TEREZI: 1M NOT S4Y1NG W3 N33D TO M4K3 FR13NDS W1TH TH3M OR 4NYTH1NG, BUT W3V3 B3GUN TO SUSP3CT TH3Y H4V3 SOM3TH1NG TO DO W1TH OUR S3SS1ON, P4R4DOX14LLY SP34K1NG KARKAT: IS ANYTHING EVER NOT PARADOXIALLY SPEAKING? TEREZI: M4YB3 W3 C4N F1GUR3 OUT 4 W4Y TO G3T OURS3LV3S OUT OF TH1S J4M? KARKAT: NOPE. I ALREADY TOLD YOU. WE’RE DOOMED. A MEANINGLESS RACE OF ALIENS WON’T CHANGE THAT. KARKAT: NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME, I’VE GOT A LOT OF IMPORTANT SHIT TO DO. TEREZI: YOU M34N 4 LOT OF 1MPORT4NT W4ND3R1NG 4ROUND 41ML3SSLY 4ND T4LK1NG TO P3OPL3? KARKAT: YES, EXACTLY. *Sollux >Talk to Sollux SOLLUX: hey kk mo2t of the2e computer2 are 2hiit. SOLLUX: 2o unle22 youve got a real good rea2on ii don’t thiink iim gonna bother fiixiing them. KARKAT: I’M FINE, THANKS FOR ASKING MAN. YOUR CONCERN IS REALLY APPRECIATED, I APPRECIATE IT. SOLLUX: fuck you and your priimadonna garbade, iim not goiing two break down 2obbiing becau2e of a liittle blood, why dont you man up. KARKAT: HEY FUCK YOU, I TURN AROUND AND SEE A CRAZY GIRL WITH A CHAINSAW AND A TSUNAMI OF BROWN. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK THAT WE NOT TURN OUR LITTLE HISEOUT INTO A SLAUGHTERHOUSE? SOLLUX: what diid you want me two do get down on the floor and kii22 your faiinted corp2e on the liip2 two wake you up on a non exii2tent pro2piit? KARKAT: LET’S NOT DO THIS, OK MAN? JUST THIS ONCE. I DON’T HAVE THE ENERGY. SOLLUX: yeah ok fiine. KARKAT: SO WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH THESE ALIENS, IS IT ANYTHING I SHOULD GIVE A SHIT ABOUT? SOLLUX: no not at all, theyre u2ele22 and uniintere2tiing like iim 2ure you already gathered. SOLLUX: ii recommend we don’t bother wiith them, though aradiia 2eem2 two thiink well all be iin each other2 2ponge2 iineviitably. SOLLUX: whatever, iim pretty commiitted two not havving anythiing two do wiith them ever. KARKAT: GOOD, THAT’S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR. SOLLUX: uh huh, 2ure kk by the look of 2ome of your future memo2 iit look2 like youre gonna get pretty wound up by thii2 thiing 2oon. KARKAT: MAN, FUCK MY FUTURE MEMOS. SOLLUX: no way, theyre hiilariiou2, be2t thiing haviing you a2 a leader han2 down. KARKAT: FUCK THAT SENTIMENT, AND FUCK YOU, AND FUCK FUTURE ME. SOLLUX: ok. What about pa2t you, ii2 pa2t you cool. KARKAT: THE ONLY GUY MORE IRRITATING AND STUPID THAN FUTURE ME IS PAST ME. SOLLUX: ehehehehehehehe. *Feferi >Talk to Feferi. FFEERI: Finally! So Karkat, w)(at was your dream like after you died? I )(ave been glubbing like crazy over )(ere wondering about it. KARKAT: I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT IT. JUST DON’T GO TO SLEEP. KARKAT: OH WAIT, YOU’RE A DERSE DREAMER, RIGHT? NEVER MIND, KNOCK YOURSELF OUT. LITERALLY. FEFERI: You look so nervous and pale. Were you scared of w)(at you saw? KARKAT: WHAT ABOUT NOT TALKING ABOUT IT DON’T YOU GET. FEFERI: T)(ere’s no reason to be scared! T)(ey are not as terrible as t)(ey look. FEFERI: W)(en Derse is destroyed, I am going to go to sleep and prove it. FEFERI: I will prove it to you, and to t)(em as well. KARKAT: THEM? FEFERI: Our new friends! You’ll see. –Everyt)(ing is going to be ok. FEFERI: T)(IS IS PR-ETTY –EXCITING! Don’t you t)(ink??? KARKAT: “M-E)(“ FEFERI: GLUB TO T)(AT ATTITUD-E!!!!!! >38O *Aradia >Talk to Aradia. ARADIA: have y0u decided t0 tr0ll them yet KARKAT: TROLL WHO? ARADIA: never mind ARADIA: lets pretend i didnt say that and lets als0 pretend it isn’t inevitable KARKAT: WHAT THE FROND BUCKLING NOOK STENCH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. ARADIA: n0thing. Its n0t like a decisi0n y0u are ab0ut t0 make will invariably lead t0 every pr0blem we have and will ever face as well as the great und0ing itself ARADIA: just keep listening t0 your angry impulses it will all be fine ARADIAL actually i guess i c0uld kill y0u right n0w and st0p it all fr0m happening thus d00ming us all in an 0ffsh00t timeline ARADIA: i might c0nsider it if we all werent d00med anyway ARADIA: and if y0u werent my friend KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT WAS GREAT? WHEN YOU USED TO NOT BE A ROBOT. KARKAT: CAUSE THIS ROBOT THING? THIS IS BULLSHIT. KARKAT: IF WE WEREN’T ALL ABOUT OT DIE, I’D DEDICATE OUR WHOLE TEAM TO FINDING A WAY TO BRING YOU BACK TO LIFE. KARKAT: BUT WE ARE SO GUESS WE’LL HAVE TO RIDE OUT THE NEXT FEW HOURS WITH A SPOOKY TIN CAN PSYCHOPATH, SOUNDS LIKE A BLAST. ARADIA: 0_0 *Nepeta >Talk to Nepeta. NEPETA: :33 < oh god this is so great, they look like they are so much fun! KARKAT: WHO NEPETA: :33 < the humans!!! KARKAT: WHAT’S A HUMAN NEPETA: :33 < the alien kids! come on karcat, you need to stop taking all these silly naps and get up to sp33d KARKAT: WAIT, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING KARKAT: YOU HAVEN’T BEEN PULLING RP NONSENSE ON THEM HAVE YOU? TALK ABOUT A SHITTY FIRST ENCOUNTER. KARKAT: OK AS LEADER, I FORBID YOU FROM RP’ING WITH THEM. NEPETA: :33 > but equius already furbid me from doing that :(( NEPETA: :33 < not that i am listening to him, but shhhhh! :33 KARKAT: WAIT, HE DID? KARKAT: OK, THEN AS YOUR LEADER I ORDER YOU TO RP WITH THEM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. BE AS OBNOXIOUS ABOUT IT AS YOU CAN. NEPETA: :33 < yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! *Tavros >Talk to Tavros. TAVROS: hEYYY, yOU’RE AWAKE, KARKAT: HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN AWESOME TIME TO TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO SAW YOUR LOWER TORSO OFF AND REPLACE IT WITH ROBO LEGS? TAVROS: nO, KARKAT: ANY GODDAMN TIME BEFORE NOW. YOU KNOW, DURING OUR WHOLE ADVENTURE WHEN THEY MIGHT HAVE COME IN HANDY. KARKAT: ALSO WHEN I DIDN’T HAPPEN TO BE STANDING AROUND. THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO SWEET. TAVROS: oHH, sORRY, i MEAN i WAS KIND OF ASLEEP TOO, sO, i DIDN’T HAVE A LOT OF SAY, TAVROS: iN THE MATTER, KARKAT: DID YOU SEE HIM? TAVROS: wHO, KARKAT: THE DEMON. WHEN YOU WERE ASLEEP. TAVROS: nO, KARKAT: HE WAS RIGHT FUCKING THERE. I TOLD YOU TO LOOK, BUT I GUESS YOU WERE TOO BUSY FROLICKING IN THE SKY OR WHATEVER YOU DO ON THAT GAUDY YELLOW MOON. TAVROS: oH, mAN, yEAH SKY FROLICKING WAS PROBABLY DEFINITELY THE THING i WAS PREOCCUPIED BY, KARKAT: ANYWAY, THAT WAS JUST BEFORE HE BLEW THE PLACE UP. TAVROS: wOAH, iS THAT WHAT HAPPENED, KARKAT: IDIOT. KARKAT: JUST DON’T GO TO SLEEP. SPREAD THE WORD. TAVROS: i COULDN’T POSSIBLY SLEEP NOW, i’M TOO EXCITED ABOUT THESE AWESOME LEGS, lOOK AT ME GO, wHOOPS, *Equius >Talk to Equius. KARKAT: THIS ROBOLEG BULLSHIT WAS YOUR IDEA WASN’T IT. EQUIUS: D --> I only supplied the technological means, though my lobbying for a hooven quadrupedal lower torso went tragically disregarded KARKAT: OK I HEREBY ORDER YOU TO NEVER THINK ABOUT GIVING SOMEONE HORSELEGS AGAIN, IS THAT UNDERSTOOD. EQUIUS: D --> Yes, I can follow that order, sir EQUIUS: D --> Are there any other orders you would like to issue to me in a manner that is similarly forceful KARKAT: I ALSO ORDER YOU TO STOP GETTING OFF ON MY ORDERS. FOR LIKE THE FIVE HUNDREDTH FUCKING TIME. EQUIUS: D --> Yes, and you will continue to order me to do so. I command it EQUIUS: D --> ... EQUIUS: D --> I need a towel KARKAT: GO HAVE YOUR BUTLER GET YOU ONE YOU SNOOTY DOUCHE. EQUIUS: D --> Aurthour is dead, and so is his ghost EQUIUS: D --> Remember KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: SORRY MAN, I FORGOT. DIDN’T MEAN TO BRING UP A SORE SUBJECT. EQUIUS: D --> Is this where embrace jocularly, as if we are “bros” EQUIUS: D --> I will be as gentle as possible KARKAT: DON’T TOUCH ME. *Vriska >Talk to Vriska. KARKAT: HEY VRISKA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING. KARKAT: PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET IT BE SOMETHING INCONSEQUENTIAL AND BENIGN. VRISKA: Karkat! Man, you were out for a long time. I have made so many plans for these humans while you were asleep. Do you know how many plans have 8een made? KARKAT: PROBABLY ALL OF THEM, EVEN THOUGH PLANS AREN’T REALLY AN EXHAUSTIVELY QUANTIFIABLE THING AND WE BOTH FUCKING KNOW THAT. VRISKA: Yes! Aaaaaaaall of them. So many irons too. Guess where the irons are! KARKAT: PLEASE DON’T LET THEM BE IN THE FIRE, PLEASE DON’T LET THEM BE IN THE FIRE... VRISKA: They are........ VRISKA: IN VRISKA: THE VRISKA: FIIIIIIIIRE!!!!!!!! ::::) KARKAT: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT. KARKAT: LOOK WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING, STOP. OR PUT IT ON PAUSE. CAN YOU PLEASE DO THAT? KARKAT: I WASN’T GOING TO BOTHER WITH THE HUMANS BUT NOW YOU’RE MAKING ME NERVOUS. JUST GIVE ME THE CHANCE TO LOOK INTO THIS MATTER, AND THEN I’LL BRIEF EVERYBODY. KARKAT: MAYBE WITH A SPEECH OR SOMETHING. CAN YOU DO THAT? KARKAT: PLEEEEEEEEASE? I JUST SAID THAT WITH EIGHT E’S. VRISKA: Fine, I will take a 8r8k, Karkat. 8ut only 8ecause you were so polite a8out it. VRISKA: It will give me a chance to go get some stuff done! *Kanaya >Talk to Kanaya. KARKAT: HEY I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO YOU IN THE PAST. REMEMBER YOU WERE FUCKING AROUND WITH THE VOLCANO AND I PASSED OUT FOR AN HOUR? KANAYA: Vaguely KARKAT: THAT WAS NOW. HEY GUESS WHAT, NEW ORDERS. NO MORE IMPROMPTY AMPUTATIONS, OK? KANAYA: Impromputations KARKAT: YEAH. KEEP YOUR LIPSTICK CAPPED OK. I DON’T WANT TO TURN AROUND AND SEE RAINBOW BLOOD SPRAYING EVERY WHICH WAY JUST CAUSE YOU THINK THE PLACE IS A LITTLE DRAB. KANAYA: I Did My Best To Clean Up The Blood Before You Woke Up KARKAT: THANKS FOR THAT. ALSO ANOTHER NEW ORDER. DON’T GO TO SLEEP. KANAYA: Dont Worry I Dont Really Want To Find Out What Happens If I Do KANAYA: Any Other Orders KANAYA: Such As Those Which Might Pertain To These Alien Children KARKAT: YEAH, MY ORDERS ARE THAT THEY’RE COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT, AND WHO CARES ABOUT THEM. KANAYA: How Are Those Orders KARKAT: BECAUSE I’M YOUR LEADER THAT’S HOW. KANAYA: They Are Not Irrelevant KARKAT: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT. KANAYA: Its A Bit Complicated KANAYA: But I Believe You Should Give Them A Closer Look Before You Decide What To Do About Them If Anything KANAYA: Perhaps Then An Especially Leaderly Speech Will Be In Order KARKAT: OK I DOUBT THAT BUT WHATEVER. *Gamzee >Talk to Gamzee. GAMZEE: HeY CaN I HeLp a tIrEd lOoKiNg bRoThEr gEt hIss mOtHeRfUcKiN NaP On? GAMZEE: sLeEp iN ThE HoRn pIlE? oNlY 420 bOoNdOlLaRs >No KARKAT: I JUST SLEPT ON THE FLOOR FOR AN HOUR, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I NEED A NAP??? KARKAT: BESIDES, I JUST BANNED EVERYONE FROM SLEEPING, SO DON’T GO PULLING THIS HORN PILE INN KEEPER SHIT, GOT IT? KARKAT: ALSO, STOP DANCING. IT’S AWFUL. GAMZEE: Ok wElL. If yOu gEt yOuR MiNd aLl cHaNgEd aBoUt tHaT ThEn yOu kNoW WhErE To fInD ThE PiLe, BeSt fRiEnD KARKAT: OH YEAH, ALSO CLEAN YOUR FUCKING GARBAGE OFF THE FLOOR. IF THIS SHIT ISN’T GONE IN A FEW HOURS I’M SERIOUSLY GOING TO FLIP OUT. GAMZEE: HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK! :O) >Hell no [You get the same conversation that you get by selecting “>No”] *Eridan >Talk to Eridan ERIDAN: wwhat a fuckin vvulgar display this is ERIDAN: airin out all his dirty laundry like that puttin a big fuckin pile a horns in the middle of the room ERIDAN: at least i got the upright basic decency to hide my shitty wand pile somewwhere in the lab you wwont find it dont evven bother looking KARKAT: WHY DO YOU ASSHOLES HAVE PILES OF THINGS, JUST STOP. VRISKA_ *Karkat >Talk to Karkat KARKAT: JUST... PLEASE. KARKAT: GO FIND SOME REMOTE CORNER OF THIS LAB, BUILD YOURSELF A NICE WEB, AND SIT THERE PEACEFULLY AND HARMLESSLY UNTIL WE ALL DIE. OK? VRISKA: Die? Lame. VRISKA: Karkat, there is a8solutely no chance we are going to die. VRISKA: Not with my luck! I got all of it, remem8er? *Terezi >Talk to Terezi VRISKA: The Scourge Sisters are 8ack in action! Yeah!!!!!!!! TEREZI: NO W3 4R3 NOT! W1LL YOU STOP W1TH TH4T 4LR34DY??? VRISKA: Sure we are! You’ll find out. Just give it a few hours. TEREZI: 1 W1LL G1V3 YOU 4 F3W DRUBB1NGS! VRISKA: Yes!!!!!!!! That’s the spirit, Redglare. TEREZI: BL4R, PL34S3 DO NOT ST4RT US1NG MY OLD FL4RP1NG N4M3, 1T’S SO 3MB4RR4SS1NG *Sollux >Talk to Sollux. VRISKA: Sollux, I never got to simultaneously thank you and reprimand you for tracing that money transfer. VRISKA: On the one hand, it made Terezi rich, and now she won’t stop lording it over me! SOLLUX: ok, ii’m pretty much 100% po2iitiive 2he’2 not actually doiing that, but ok. VRISKA: Shh! 8ut on the other hand, you’ve opened up a whole world to me with this discovery. So many people to meddle with, so many plans to hatch. VRISKA: So really, my reaction to it is twofold. Somewhat 8ipolar if you will. Don’t you think that’s appropri8? SOLLUX: man, ju2t... SOLLUX: go away. SOLLUX: ii’m not iin the glubbiing mood. VRISKA: Stop saying fish things, everyone thinks it’s annoying!!!!!!!! *Feferi >Talk to Feferi VRISKA: So! You sure seem excited a8out the alien kids. What gives???????? FEFERI: Glub... I wouldn’t say t)(at. VRISKA: Oh? FEFERI: T)(e w)(ole t)(ing doesn’t seem like it’s wort)( getting worked up about, to be )(onest. VRISKA: ::::| FEFERI: Sig)(. T)(ey’re just kind of dull. FEFERI: Life is dull and uninteresting. FEFERI: I don’t know, maybe I’m just a little depressed. FEFERI: You probably wouldn’t understand. VRISKA: Sure I would! We all have our off days. Hey, if you need someone to talk to, I’m... FEFERI: Pffffffffffffffffffffffff )(-E)(-E)(-E)(-E! FEFERI: PSYYYYYYYYYYYC)(-E )(-E-E )(-E-E )(-E-E )(-E-E )(OO )(OO )(OO! 38D FEFERI: )(oly crap did I get you good! )(ey, Sollux! Did you catc)( any of t)(at? FEFERI: A live one jumped rig)(t into my boat! A real suckerfis)(! Woo)(oo)(oo. )9ow do you like t)(at, spider)(ag! Sea dwellers represent!!! VRISKA: That was... VRISKA: Surprisingly nasty of you. VRISKA: I’m impressed! FEFERI: T)(anks. I )(ope I didn’t jeopardize our friends)(ip wit)( t)(at little stunt! 38) VRISKA: Friendship? I don’t know if... VRISKA: W8 a minute. Why you!!!!!!!! You almost got me AGAIN! VRISKA: Have I ever told you how awesome you are, Peixes? *Aradia >Talk to Aradia VRISKA: Hey dead girl! How’s 8eing dead treating you? ARADIA: c0uldnt i ask y0u the same thing VRISKA: Yeah, sure! If you wanted to 8e technically inaccur8. It would still 8urn though, so touche! ARADIA: its really weird that y0u keep antag0nizing me ARADIA: i c0uld snap y0ur neck with a twitch VRISKA: Yeah 8ut you won’t! ARADIA: 0k ARADIA: what d0 y0u want VRISKA: You saw the demon up close, right? You fought him! Or at least your doppelgangers did. ARADIA: yes VRISKA: What was he like! ARADIA: ... ARADIA: what d0 y0u want t0 kn0w specifically VRISKA: Primarily I’m interested in your take on his weaknesses, tactical disadvantages, stuff like that. ARADIA: 0_0 ARADIA: are y0u seri0usly intending t0 fight him VRISKA: Wouldn’t you like to know!!!!!!!! ARADIA: n0t especially *Nepeta >Talk to Nepeta. NEPETA: :33 < *nepeta giggles at the spidergirls gunny googly eye. she just cant s33m to get used to it!* VRISKA: *Marquise Mindfang shares the innocent young catgirl’s giggle, as she surreptitiously reaches for an orn8 dagger concealed in her 8oot!* NEPETA: :33 < nooooooo dont roleplay as mindfang! :(( NEPETA: :33 < you only do terrible things when you are her NEPETA: :33 < why dont you pretend to be something cute for a change? VRISKA: How a8out my spidersona? It’s adora8le! NEPETA: :33 < no its not! you only do terrible things as your spidersona too NEPETA: :33 < i changed my mind, why dont we just not do any roleplaying instead VRISKA: ::::( *Tavros >Talk to Tavros. VRISKA: Tavros, they look amazing. YOU look amazing. VRISKA: 8eing a8le to walk suits you so much 8etter. Have I ever told you how much of a loser you were when you were a cripple? It’s a real shame a8out how that had to happen to you. TAVROS: nO, bUT THANK YOU FOR SAYING SO, TAVROS: i MEAN, fOR THE GOOD STUFF YOU SAID, nOT NECESSARILY THE BAD STUFF, VRISKA: You’re welcome! Now, how do those 8ad 8oys handle on stairs? TAVROS: i DON’T KNOW, BUT I’VE BEEN ADVISED TO STAY AWAY FROM THEM, VRISKA: Worst advice you could ever receive. I demand that you spend the next several hours mastering stairs. TAVROS: uHHH, VRISKA: Come on, what would that fakey 8ullshit fantasy asshole Rufio say a8out this? TAVROS: oH, mAN, hE WOULD MOST SURELY BE ALL ABOUT ME CLIMBING LOTS OF STAIRS, TAVROS: pER THE REASSURANCES THAT i PRETEND HE SAYS, aND ALL THE SELF ESTEEM HE INSISTS ME TO HAVE, VRISKA: Exactly! Now hop to it, and don’t think twice a8out it, or I’ll know. We don’t want to have to do it the hard way now, do we? TAVROS: oH MY GOD, *Equius >Talk to Equius. VRISKA: I must say, I am really disgusted 8y how you’ve resorted to following orders from that low class slo8 with the hideous mutant blood. VRISKA: I thought you were 8etter than that! I thought WE were 8etter than that. EQUIUS: D --> I... EQUIUS: D --> You’re absolutely right, it’s disgraceful EQUIUS: D --> I think it is possibly time to admit I have some sort of problem EQUIUS: D --> I would very much like to honor my position on the hemospectrum and mistreat those beneath me, and yet... VRISKA: Whoa, alright! I was just messing with you, dude. As if I really give a shit a8out any of that! VRISKA: Hahahahahahahaha. *Kanaya >Talk to Kanaya. VRISKA: Pst! KANAYA: Yes VRISKA: Hey, what’s your deal? KANAYA: ... VRISKA: I’m talking to you! KANAYA: What Do You Want VRISKA: Nothing really! It’s just you haven’t said one word to me since we got here. VRISKA: In fact, we’ve hardly spoken in weeks! Not since you gave me that nice dress. KANAYA: Oh Sorry I Hadnt Really Noticed VRISKA: That was gr8, remem8er that? What happened to all that? You used to meddle and 8ug and fuss over me all the time. It was annoying, 8ut kinda fun! KANAYA: Do You Want Me To VRISKA: I don’t know. It would 8e cool if we could catch up some time though. KANAYA: Whats There Really To Catch Up On VRISKA: Whatever! Stuff. Anything! VRISKA: You are really strange, fussyfangs. I don’t get you anymore. KANAYA: Okay VRISKA: That was some pretty sweet chainsaw work earlier. Pretty 8rutal, really! Didn’t think you had it in you. VRISKA: Hey, you weren’t settling a score with him there 8y any chance? KANAYA: What VRISKA: I’ve got a pretty keen nose for revenge. Could it 8e that you had a thing for him and were upset when he went for me instead? Hmmmmmmmm? KANAYA: Did He Really “Go” For You KANAYA: Thats Not How I Remember It VRISKA: Yes, I think I must 8e on to something here! Anyway if that’s case, sorry a8out the 8ad 8r8k! KANAYA: Could You Leave Me Alone VRISKA: Hey, which one are you spying on there? Someone new to meddle with? KANAYA: I Said Leave VRISKA: Fiiiiiiiine, god. *Gamzee >Talk to Gamzee. GAMZEE: VrIsKa hEy yOu wAnT To uH... VRISKA: What? GAMZEE: ShIt, I WaS AlL GoInG To aSk iF YoU WaNtEd tO HoP In tHe hOrN PiLe fOr a bIt oF MoThErFuCkIn sHuTeYe, BuT... GAMZEE: I DoN’T ThInK I WiLl cAuSe i’m pReTtY MuCh sCaTeD Of yOu, So yEaH. VRISKA: Aww. ::::) *Eridan >Talk to Eridan. VRISKA: Hey. ERIDAN: hey VRISKA: So........ ERIDAN: wwhats up VRISKA: Nothing. VRISKA: Standing by the old horn pile I see. ERIDAN: yup VRISKA: Yeah........ VRISKA: Ok then. Carry on I guess. ERIDAN: god damn vvris wwhys it still got to be so flippin awwkwward like this come on ERIDAN: wwe used to havve a good thing goin remember our campaigns ERIDAN: that shit wwas epic wwhere are you evven goin to find a rivvalry like that VRISKA: It was fun, Eridan. While it lasted. VRISKA: 8ut it ran its course! I don’t know what else to tell you. ERIDAN: oh as if im not so ovver it please spare me your disdain mindfang ERIDAN: im wworkin on finding a neww rivvalry wwhichll make ours look like a kiddie game ERIDAN: wwhich oh by the wway IT WWAS VRISKA: If you say so, Dualscar! 8est of luck with that. VRISKA: Too 8ad the luck’s all mine now! Hahahaha. >Be Future Eridan [You are now briefly Future Eridan, in the future.] >Talk to Vriska ERIDAN: fuck that fuckin wwitch bleww up my computer ERIDAN: ok not literally the wwitch as in thats not literally her title or anything ERIDAN: the seer i guess ERIDAN: fuckin lousy no good goddamn rotten seer VRISKA: Eridan! Do I detect 8lack romance in the air???????? VRISKA: <3< <3< <3< <3< <3< <3< <3< <3< ERIDAN: shut yer spidertrap wwitch there are serious emotions happening ovver here TEREZI_ *Karkat >Talk to Karkat. TEREZI: 4R3NT YOU 4T L34ST 4 L1TTL3 D1S4PPO1NT3D W3 N3V34 GOT TO H4NG OUT TOG3TH3R ON PROSP1T? KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW. I GUESS? KARKAT: IT’S NOT LIKE WE DIDN’T GET TO HANG OUT PLENTY OF OTHER PLACES. TEREZI: YOU DONT G3T 1T! TH3R3 W3R3 4LL TH1NGS 1 W4S PL44N1NG ON SHOW1NG YOU 4ND STUFF W3 COULD H4V3 DON3 TOG3TH3R TEREZI: 1T W4S SUPPOS3D TO B3 SP3C14L DUMMY KARKAT: WHAT WAS SO SPECIAL ABOUT IT? THE FACT THAT IT WAS A MOON MADE OF GOLD? KARKAT: BIG DEAL. THE PLACE WAS WAY TOO BRIGHT AND GARISH. TEREZI: 444444RGH, YOU 4R3 SO FRUSTR4T1NG! TEREZI: JUST TEREZI: N3V3R M1ND >:[ *Sollux >Talk to Sollux. SOLLUX: are you 2tiill 2pyiing on that iin2ufferable priick. SOLLUX: 2eriiou2ly a dude giive2 a giirl a few buck2 and 2uddenly 2he cant keep her no2e off hiim, iit ii2 2o prediictable. TEREZI: SHUT UP SOLLUX H3S COOL TEREZI: 1 DONT G3T WHY YOU DONT L1KE H1M, H3 R3M1NDS M3 OF YOU 4 B1T SOLLUX: you thiink iim cool? TEREZI: SOM3T1M3S! SOLLUX: how often? SOLLUX: don’t 2ay half the tiime. TEREZI: >:| SOLLUX: oh god ii walked riight iinto that one diidn’t ii. *Feferi >Talk to Feferi. FEFERI: Terezi, we can’t just )(ide )(ere forever! We )(ave to kill t)(e demon! TEREZI: 1 KNOW! BUT HOW? H3 SEEMS 1NV1NC1BL3 TEREZI: 1F 4 THOUS4ND 4R4D14BOTS COULDNT K1LL H1M, WH4T HOP3 DO W3 H4V3? FEFERI: T)(e )(umans! T)(ey are t)(e answer. TEREZI: H4H4H4H4H4, S3R1OUSLY? FEFERI: Y----------ES!!! I am sure of it. TEREZI: UM, OK, 1F YOU S4Y SO F3F3R1! *Aradia >Talk to Aradia. ARADIA: 0h is that what feferi thinks ARADIA: thats nice ARADIA: havent y0u underst00d anything ab0ut h0w parad0x space w0rks ARADIA: 0f c0urse they are the s0luti0n ARADIA: but they are als0 the pr0blem ARADIA: every effect is als0 its 0wn cause ARADIA: 0ur tw0 universes exist 0n 0pp0sing sides 0f a m0bius strip which is 0f c0urse n0thing but c0ntradicti0n ARADIA: enj0y engineering the present c0nundrum as y0u try t0 s0lve it ARADIA: im c0mpletely d0ne with this TEREZI: GR34T T4LK1NG TO YOU 4R4D1A, TH4T W4S 4 BL4ST4S USU4L *Nepeta >Talk to Nepeta. NEPETA: :33 < terezi!!! so tell me! who is your favorite? TEREZI: F4VOR1T3 WH4T? NEPETA: :33< human kid! NEPETA: :33 < oh of course, you like akwete purrmusk with the black glasses! NEPETA: :33 < he is pretty cute, but mine is jade TEREZI: OH R34LLY? NEPETA: :33 < yes, i have tried to make friends with her, but so far she thinks i am just teasing her!!!! NEPETA: :33 < its pretty furstrating. i will purrsevere though *Tavros >Talk to Tavros. TEREZI: LOOK1NG PR3TTY COOL T4VROS! >:] TAVROS, tHANKS, i FEEL GREAT, aND REALLY CONFIDENT SUDDENLY, TAVROS: lIKE, aS IF rUFIO GAVE ME BOTH THE HIGH FIVES HE HAS, aND THEN SORT OF ONE OF THOSE BRO MASSAGES, aS IF TO SAY, TAVROS: yOU’RE THE CHAMP, oR THAT KIND OF THING, TEREZI: DONT L3T 4NYON3 3V3R T3LL YOU RUF1O’S NOT R34L TEREZI: 1F YOU B3L13V3 H4RD 3NOUGH 1N 1M4G1N4RY TH1NGS, TH4T M4K3S TH3M SL1GHTLY L3SS F4K3! TAVROS: oKAY, tHAT’S GREAT ADVICE TO KNOW, TAVROS: nOW i’M GOING TO GET SOME MORE LEG PRACTICE IN, TAVROS: i FEEL LIKE i COULD TAKE ON ALL THE STAIRS IN PARADOX SPACE, aND i JUST PRETENDED AS HARD AS I COULD THAT rUFIO WINKED IN AGREEANCE, TAVROS: sEE YOU LATER, aFTER, i’M DEFINITELY SUCCESSFUL AT ALL THE THINGS i TRY, *Equius >Talk to Equius EQUIUS: D --> It’s mystifying EQUIUS: D --> In spite of my warnings, he seems absolutely committed to being attracted to cases of stairs like a goshdarned magnetron EQUIUS: D --> Now that I think about it, I should probably deactivate his pelvic magnetron *Vriska >Talk to Vriska. VRISKA: Hey, if it isn’t miss money8ags! How are you enjoying your fa8ulous wealth! VRISKA: If it was me, I would feel ashamed to get rich that way. 8y having a secret admirer just hand it to me like that, rather than earning it. That’s just me though! TEREZI: GOD, YOUR J34LOUSLY 1S R1D1CULOUS! NOBODY C4R3S 4BOUT STOCKP1L1NG M34N1NGL3SS TR34SUR3 OT3R TH4N YOU. W1LL YOU GROW UP??? VRISKA: I guess you’re right. I’m just giving you a hard time! VRISKA: You know, like the good old days. Don’t you miss our friendly rivalry sometimes? TEREZI: H4H4H4, FR13NDLY????? VRISKA: Sure! So to speak. VRISKA: Anyway, just so you know, you’re not the only one who can play a chumpy 8oy, and manipul8 him into doing what you want. VRISKA: In fact, I’m not even going to use any powers! Just to prove it’s no 8ig deal. TEREZI: WH4T TH3 H3LL 4R3 YOU T4LK1NG 4BOUT VRISKA: You’ll see!!!!!!!! Oops, smell. Haha, 8n’t it a 8ummer you never died???????? TEREZI: NO >:P VRISKA: Oh well. Anyway, let’s get this party started. I declare the chumpy impressiona8le human 8oy-off to 8e........ VRISKA: OOOOOOOON! :::;) TEREZI: UGH, YOU 4R3 SO CR4ZY *Kanaya >Talk to Kanaya. TEREZI: H3Y K4N4Y4, 4R3 YOU ST1LL OGL1NG H3R? KANAYA: What KANAYA: Is That What Im Doing TEREZI: Y3S 1T 1S OBV1OUS TEREZI: WHY TH3 1NF4TU4T1ON W1TH TH4T P4RT1CUL4R HUM4N KANAYA: Hmm KANAYA: I Guess I Find Her Sort Of KANAYA: Intoxicating TEREZI: OHHHHHHHHHH???????? >8D KANAYA: Intoxicatingly Underwhelming TEREZI: >:? >Be Future Kanaya. [You are now briefly Future Kanaya, in the future.] >Talk to Karkat. KANAYA: Hey Have You Ever Heard Of The Green Sun KARKAT: YEAH. IT’S GOT SOMETHING TO DO WITH THEIR PLAN TO KILL NOIR. KANAYA: I See KANAYA: Anything More Specific Than That KARKAT: NOPE. I’VE GOT NO IDEA WHAT IT IS, WHAT IT DOES, WHAT ITS ROLE IN THE PLAN IS, OR IF IT’S GOT ANY CHANCE OF WORKING. KARKAT: WE SHOULD PROBABLY WORRY ABOUT OUR OWN PROBLEMS. *Gamzee >Talk to Gamzee. GAMZEE: HeY CaN I InTeReSt yOu iN KiCkIn tHe wIcKeD ShIt iN ThE HoRn pIlE FoR A FeW ZeEs? GAMZEE: CoSt yOu oNe pInCh oF SpEcIaL StArDuSt. TEREZI: TH4NKS G4MZ BUT NO 1 4M NOT T1R3D TEREZI: 1 M4Y GO FOR 4NOTH3R UN3XP3CT3D HONK JUMP SOON THOUGH GAMZEE: Oh pLeAsE No dOnT Go mOtHeRfUcKiN GeTtInG My sCaRe oN LiKe tHaT, I CaNt bE HaRdLy hAnDlInG ThAt NoIsE. TEREZI: SORRY BUT WH3N 4 G1RL H4S TO G3T H3R HONK JUMP ON TH3R3 1S JUST NO STOPP1NG H3R GAMZEE: OkAy wElL MaYbE WaRn mE ThEn mAyBe. TEREZI: NO PROM1S3S! GAMZEE: :o( TEREZI: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3 *Eridan >Talk to Eridan. ERIDAN: hey ter can you go givve that four horned mustard blooded land licking sack of rubbish ovver there a message for me ERIDAN: tell him to put his honey wwhere his mouth is and meet me outside for another duel TEREZI: 1 4M NOT M3D14T1NG B3TW33N YOU TWO! TEREZI: S3R1OUSLY, COULD YOU M4K3 YOUR 4DV4NC3S 4NY MOR3 OBV1OUS 3R1D4N? TEREZI: 1F YOUR3 W4X1NG 4SH3N FOR M3, F1NE, 1... GU3SS 1M FL4TT3R3D??? TEREZI: BUT H3S TOT4LLY NOT 3V3N 1NT3R3ST3D 1N TH3 TYP3 OF TEREZI: UH... TEREZI: R1V4LRY YOU WN4T W1TH H1M, OK? ERIDAN: swweet stinkin murder i am truly pathetic arent i TEREZI: Y3S, 4BSOLUT3LY FUTURE TEREZI_ *Nepeta >Talk to Nepeta. TEREZI: *TH3 M1GHTY 4ND 4STOUND1NG DR4GONYYYD L3G1SL4RC3R4TOR 3NT3RS TH3 3ST33M3D POUNC3LLORS OFF1C3 W1TH 4N URG3NT BUT FR13NDLY R3QU1S1T1ON PURS3D M4G1C4LLY 1N H3R M4J3ST1C SNOUT* NEPETA: :33 < *the distinguished pouncellor nods in the most dignified and legal of manners at the dashing and well dressed legislacerator* NEPETA: :33 < *she double checks a series of impurrtant legal clawses and rubber stamps them with wild abandon for the most judicial sort of approval pawsible* NEPETA: :33 < this all looks to be in order! *she said* NEPETA: :33 < please follow me! :33 NEPETA: :33 < *she also said*