My Dirsty Secret

Not muth time left. I shuffled across the bar. Thith and that. The lunch lady was nice again today. Two, I wanted two scoops. She just got me one. I asked her, why not two sweet lady? That comment was underappreciated. 

I sat at my own table and ate my lunch without dribbling it down my petticoat and vest and onto my corduroy. I kept mama's secret. I kept mama's secret the whole time.

If anyone wanted to touch me today I'd show them my two hard fists right then. I'd show them hard. That's because they're not my fwiends, and they're tasteless.

 When I was crying a girl came up to me. I said, there isn't muth keeping your image alive anymore since you made out with Sam, ith there Thessica? Thessica? I just kept repeating Thessica's name over and over again. Boy was that a hoot. 

I was too smart for these guys over here and gave them the devil tongue. S-s-s-sam wath there. I gave him a big fisty look and got sent to the principlths office. But I bet Mr. Thmith just wanted a sweet look inside my pants. I said, ithnt that right macho? But it was a secret what I was talking about. But not the same secret.

The biggest lie I told that day was my pants came from England. They did. You have to believe me. Is there anything you ain't suthpicious about? Boy, do I get suthpicious about things. There are two hundred guys over there. They're all big and real mean and they just sit outside the classroom, invithible. They talk to me. I told them to go away and got sent to the printhipal’s office again. Two times. Why two times? Mr. Thmith was calling my mama twice, or maybe just once. I didn't remember if he called the first time. 

"Hello, missus Reilly?" It just went like that forever with him calling my mom missus. Freakin' sucks. Math class freakin' sucks too and so does Englith. I can't pronounce Englith very well. It's because I'm from France, really. That's why my brother says I talk this way. He says, Franth in your underpanth! But he says it right just to make me mad. 

I'm seventeen. You know, I thought I'd be a little smarter by now and think about that a lot. I'm a lot bigger now. I was blethed with a smart mind and drawing ability. But you don't know anything about it, because you don't live at my house. That's where I do it, draw and think. It's always rainy and wet in my backyard because we live in the bayou or cajun country where nothing ever stays dry except our senth of humor. Like when mom said the curtains would cover our athes when the cops drove by, but she wasn't being serious. I think that ith dry humor. When you think to yourthelf, you wish you had nice curtains but the ones you do have, the thitty ones, at least they hide us from the cops. 

My face is pretty, but I'm a guy. I am in special education classes for reading and math but I take stupider classes like science with all the dummies. 

Nothing says go home like a bell ring. I picked up my backpack and went for the bus and when I saw Robert I got really scared. He looks like Mr. Reilly. I don't know why but I got home really quickly even though I live an hour away bus ride. Maybe it was all the pollen which mom said was yellow because it was the same stuff that was in your eyes. She knows a lot. 

I got home at three. It felt really fast but we were eating dinner when it was dark. I wanted to go to bed quick but Dad said no. I really hope mom isn't going to the movies again tonight with Diane. I really really hope she doesn't do that. I played my video games and beat level three in just five minutes. Where were the bad guys at the end? Maybe they didn't load. The force field almost got me too but I knew where it was and ran away. Dad played with me for a long long time. When I found the force field I just ran away but then I woke up and I wasn't playing video games. 

I looked at my fists when I was going to sleep. I could really sock somebody with these fists, and I wanted to. I wanted to punch Mr. Reilly. I didn't want to go to school in the morning.

The bus came at the exact time that it always does like she was parking right outside my neighborhood waiting for the clock to turn to the right time. She was really hurtin' my feelings when she pulled out too fast before I had sat down and I was crying again. I started crying at breakfast. And I cried most of the day whenever no one was looking. I didn't get sent to the principal’s office today because I hadn't done anything wrong and my teachers and friends all loved me very much but I still wanted to punch mythelf. And I punched at the very end Brittany and got Mr. Reilly called.

He said he'd come up and pick me up. I told the principle he was going to shoot me. But he wasn't and the principle said no, he wasn't. I went home with Mr.  Reilly and he was Mr. Reilly until we were watching T.V. on the couch. Then I think I played video games but I'm pretty sure I was dreaming. Then Mr. Reilly was Dad again when I woke up. When the clock hit the right time, the lunch lady, no the bus lady, came and picked me up for one more day of school. I was going to run away today.