Uncommon Intrusion

The crowd cheered as Twilight Sparkle was led away by two armed officers into the back of a patrol car.  The crowd cursed and taunted her, yelling obscenities in her name.  As the officer pushed Twilight's head down, and she got in the back seat, the other went around to the drivers seat and started the car.  They drove off with a procession of two other patrol cars following closely behind.  The local media turned their cameras and microphones away from the cars driving off and panned over to Trixie who was standing amongst the crowd with a big smile on her face.

“You're the best Trixie!  We love you!” Yelled somepony from within the crowd.  Trixie's smile grew.

“How did you know that Twilight was a mob member, mass murdered, and tax cheat, oh great and powerful, Trixie?”  Asked a news reported.

“Ha ha ha.  Well, it was quite easy actually, once you pieced the puzzle together,  even the smallest of fillies could have figured it out.  I guess you all have the minds of a young filly not to figure it out!”

The audience laughed at the response.

“I just received word Trixie that the mayor wants to award you the keys to the city and name you “Pony of the Year.”  Another reporter said.

Trixie's closed her eyes and responded with a smile, “It's about time.”

A colt pushed his way through the reporters, “Trixie!  I love you, please marry me!  I am not worthy of your greatness!”

Crack-Boooooom!

Trixie opened her eyes and frantically jumped around trying to find the source of the noise.  She looked up at the dark rain clouds pouring down big droplets of rain upon her head.

Crack-Booooom!  The Thunder roared as Trixie realized she had fallen asleep at the bus stop.  She went back under the cover of the awning and sat there staring at the puddles form on the street.  It finally dawned on her to look at the clock across the street.  According to the hands on the clock, she had slept through the last bus for the night.  She sighed got up off the chair.  She put her hood on and started walking down the Fillydelphia streets.

Trixie felt it was in her best interest to leave Ponyville for awhile and maybe start a new life in a different place.  She ended up in Fillydelphia, the big eastern city on the coast.  It was a far cry from the rural small town life on Ponyville.  With the little money she had, she rented a small apartment in a rough part of town on the east end.  She had 34 blocks to walk, so she started walking.

The street lights didn't work on this street, but Trixie shrugged it off.  It was an urban area, other ponies were around, indoors from the rain.  She continued walking as a single car drove by.  She wiped up her hair, which was soaking wet.

“Hey, you look miserable.”  Said a pony sitting under an awning on a stoop of a brownstone apartment.  “Come inside till the rain subsides.”  The pony smiled and he had a kind face.

Trixie blushed.  She hadn't been treated nicely in a long time.  Her mind was probably a bit fogged and she answered opposite as to what her safe side was saying.

“Well, thank you.  The Great and Powe.... ahem.  That would be lovely.”  She trotted up the steps and he followed her inside.

Once inside, the colt led Trixie into the kitchen and offered her a seat.  “Could I offer you some food?”

“No thank you, I'm fine.”

“I doubt this rain will let up.  You can sleep on my couch if you like.  I know this is kind of weird, but I'm not some weirdo or anything.”  He chuckled.  “By the way, my name is Ruse.  Great Ruse.”

Trixie tried not to blush too much as she looked at his gray eyes, golden mane, and red fur coat.

“If the rain doesn't let up, I guess I could sleep on the couch.”

“Feel free too.  Help yourself to the kitchen.  I actually have to go to work, just close my front door when you leave.”

“Really, you trust me here alone in your house?”

“Sure, why wouldn't I?  You seem like a kind mare.”

The colt grabbed a duffle bag off the counter and walked out the front door.  “Nice to meet you . . . what was your name?”

“Trixie, my name is Trixie.”

“Trixie.  Nice to meet you Trixie.”

“Thanks again.”

“No thank you.”  Great Ruse said has he closed the front door.

Trixie looked around the kitchen from the stool she was sitting on.  What a strange way to meet somepony, and then to have him leave.  She tried to decide if she should just leave, or stay?  Maybe even wait till he comes back from work?  But when will he come back?  He didn't say.

She walked to the living room and laid on the couch.  Even though she had dozed off on the bus stop, she was still pretty tired after the long day she had, so she closed her eyes and fell asleep to the sound of rain pouring out of the gutter.

BAM!

“Ouch!”  Trixie yelled suddenly awaking.

“Shut up!  SHUT UP!”

Trixie opened her eyes and tried to clear her vision.  In front of her was a masked pony in black sweats.  The pony gripped her throat and led her out of the living room and into the safe confines of a garage in the back of the apartment.  Trixie struggled to break free, but wasn't strong enough.  The pony through her to the cement floor of the empty garage.

“I swear, if you try to use magic against me, or try to escape, I will put a freaking bullet through your head.”  The masked pony said.

Trixie didn't dare use any magic, she wasn't that good at it anyways.  She didn't see a weapon by the masked intruder, but she didn't want to risk.

The masked pony dragged a chair into the center of the garage and pulled some rope from their duffle bag.  “Sit your rump on here.”  He pointed.

Trixie timidly got up.

“HURRY UP!”

She scurried to the chair and sat down.  He quickly tied her hooves to the back of the chair.

“You're not going to hurt me are you?”

The masked pony didn't say anything as he continued to tie her hooves together to the chair.

“Why are you doing this?  I have some money in my wallet if you want!  Please just leave me and this apartment alone.  The pony who lives here doesn't deserve you stealing everything they own!”

The tying stopped a moment, then continued for a few more seconds.  “They deserve everything they got coming to them.”  The pony mumbled from under their mask.

He got up and stood dominatingly in front of Trixie, then looked around the garage.

Trixie waited for him to leave her and ransack the house, but he didn't.  He just stood there.

“What are you...”

“SHUT UP!  I'm the crook here!  I'm the boss!  I make the rules, I do what the **** I want!  So shut up!”  He raised his hoof, Trixie flinched and shut her eyes. His hoof got within inches of smacking her face, but stopped short, and lowered his hoof.

Trixie opened one eye realizing she hadn't been hit.  She then felt a tickling sensation around her snout.  She opened both eyes to see the masked pony tickling her snout with a feather.

“What the **** are you doing?”  Trixie asked with a surprised expression.  She struggled to break her hooves free from the rope, but it was no use.

“I said to shut up.  Does it tickle there, or do I need to move it?”

Trixie didn't say anything as she turned her snout away.

“Don't turn away from me!”  He grabbed her jaw and held her head in place as he tickled in and around her left nostril.  Trixie's nostrils flared up as her nose began to turn a rose colored red.

“That's the spot isn't it?”  The pony bit their lower lip from under their mask as they twirled the feather around her nostril painfully slow.

“St uh-huh op!”  Trixie closed her eyes as her breath hitched and her chest puffed out.  “HHHaaaaa-chhheewww!”  She raised her head again, then shot forward.  “Haaawwwsheeeww!”

Spray exploded out of Trixie's nose and mouth as it landed on the masked pony's face and chest.  He looked looked down at his chest as he used his other hoof to feel the droplets on his clothing.

Trixie wearily opened her eyes before they shut again, but her mouth was still open and jaw slack.  “Heeee-eeessshhheew!”

The masked pony  grabbed Trixie's head and pulled it within inches of their own, then was about to put the feather into her nostrils when all of a sudden, her nostrils twitched again and her jaw became slack.  Trixie was in the middle of a sneezing fit, which was barely encouraged by the crook.  He had barely used his feather, and she was already lost in sneezes.  From within inches of the intruder's face, Trixie sneezed powerfully into their face.  “HeeeeeeeAAASSShhooo!”  So strong she shook and the chair jumped up.  But it wasn't over.  “Heeeeeeecheewwww!”  She shot her head down as the spray covered her chest and his chest.

Drenched, the masked intruder pinched her nose, as he could see still yet another sneeze quickly forming.  He had no idea it would be this easy to make the blue colored mare sneeze.

“Hhheeeekpppttccheeeww!”  Blocking only one nostril didn't do much to stop the sneeze, so the masked pony let go of the feather and used both hooves to close her nostrils.  He pinched her nose with a squeeze.

Trixie's breath hitched a few more times as her chest puffed out, her nostrils expanded to their widest width, and tears formed under her closed eyelids.  “Haaaappphhhhhffff!  Haaapphhew! Haaaappphhew!”  He let go of her nose.  “Haaaasssshoooo!!!”  Liquids shot from her mouth and nose.

Trixie slowly opened her eyes as she caught her breath.  She was sweating, and drenched in her own spittle.  She panted with her tongue peeking out of her mouth.  The intruder pony just stood there, with an unknown expression under his mask.

“****!  What was that?  Nine?  Ten?  You just kept sneezing!”

“Go **** yourself!”  Trixie spit in the direction of the intruder.  It landed on their shoulder.

“Is this the thanks you give me?”

“Thanks for what?  You broke into somepony's house then come in here and torture me with your sick fantasies!”

“It's not a sick fantasy!  It's coming true!”  The masked intruder yelled.  “I could be beating you or even worse!  I'm not harming you in anyway!”  They paused a moment to collect their thoughts.  “I know it's not right to do this . . . but it is a once in a life time take.  Like a fine jewel, a rarity, that can only be had once.  There is no other jewel in the world quite like this one, and if I don't take this opportunity, I would be foolish.”  The masked pony looked down.  “Don't take this away from me.  Would you rather have me rob you and this ponyfriend of yours blind?  That way, when they come back, they will think YOU robbed them?  YOU WANT THAT?”  They pointed their hoof at Trixie.

“No!  I don't.  Just do what you want to me...”

“Not that you have a choice.”  The masked pony said as he the pulled a box of tissues from his duffle bag.  He placed the tissue box on the ground, then grabbed the chair Trixie was on and laid her down sideways on the garage floor.  He laid down across from her and pulled the tissue box between them.  He rolled the tip of a tissue into a fine point then wiggled it in front of Trixie.

“Ready for this?”  The masked pony chuckled.

He then ran almost the entire length of the tissue into Trixie's right nostril which immediately quivered.  Trixie's eyes closed as her mouth expanded open.  He pulled the tissue out already seeing that Trixie was ready to sneeze.

“Haaassshhheeeee!”  Trixie sneezed as the wind blew the tissue box over.  “Ha heh haaa heeee HHHHAAAAAAASSSHHHHhhheeeeeeeeee!”  Trixie, still tied up, prepared for another sneeze and turned her head down.  “Haaaaaappphhfffsshhew!”  Spray clung to her chest and the floor.

“Amazing.  You are fascinating baby.”  The crook unexpectedly said.  He prepared to put the tissue back into her nose after he retooled it, but before he can touch her nostril, she again had a pre-sneeze face.  Trixie tried to hold it back, but the stuck expression on her face, her brow quivering, all said otherwise.

The crook poked the tip of the tissue into her nose to coax out a sneeze, and without any effort, she unleashed a torrent of spray.  “Hhaaaaaffsshhhoooo!  Haaaapppphhhew!”  Trixie turned her head up towards the ceiling, “Haaaasshooo!”  The spray sprinkled down onto both of them.  Watery mucous quickly streamed out of Trixie's nose, and the crook tenderly rubs her snout of the liquid with a new dry tissue.

He then pushed his hoof onto her nose and massaged it slowly.  He continued to move her nose around as if coaxing a natural sneeze.  Trixie's mouth opened and her eyes closed as he continues to put pressure on various parts of her nose.  He continued this for a few minutes, but no sneeze ever come out.

“****!” Yelled the crook as he got up, then tugged Trixie up from the cement floor.

“Okay, just one more good fit, thats all I am asking, then I will leave.  I need to leave before your ponyfriend comes back from work...”  He stops abruptly after saying that then turns to Trixie who's trying to hold back a sneeze.  She didn't hear him.

He pulled another tissue out and tears it, so that the tissue particles begin to linger around their air space.  A few particles fly into Trixie's nose, and the tickle explodes.  “Haa haaa ehhhssew!”  Trixie's head flung forward.  “Esssshhhew!  Eeaaasshheeew!”  As she sneezed, the intruder rolled two balls of the tissue and plugs Trixie's nose with them, just as she is about to continue her sneeze fit.

“Essspphheew!”  The tissue ball on the right nostril shoots out, the left side stays stubbornly lodged.  “Ahhhssheeew!  Assshew!”  The left side shoots out.  Trixie pants a few seconds, but the tickle needs one more good sneeze.  Her chest puffs out as her eyes flutter and nostrils expand.  The crook positioned his face right in front of Trixie's face, then . . . “Ayyeeehhh . . . . . . AAAAAAAASSSHHHHHEEWWW!”  Spray artistically dances from Trixie's lips as watery mucous spiraled from her nostrils onto the intruders masked face.  The crook falls back on his rump astonished.  He touches his wet mask then slowly runs his hoof down Trixie's cheek.

“I'm sorry.”  He says softly, then abruptly gets up, grabs the tissue box, picks up the feather and throws them into his duffle bag.  He runs out of the garage, through the kitchen past the living room, and out the front door before disappearing into the stormy night.

Trixie, still tied to the chair, her hair a mess, and nose dripping, sat helpless and alone.  “What the **** just happened...”  She closed her eyes and began to cry.

Silence had overcome the garage as Trixie sat helplessly tied to the chair, when all of a sudden the garage door opened and Great Ruse stepped in from the kitchen.  “Oh my gosh!”

He ran over and untied Trixie.  “What happened, are you okay?”  Trixie ignored his questions, “Is your house okay?”

“Yes, yes, the house is fine!  Nothing has happened, what happened to you?”  Great Ruse picked up a tissue from the garage floor and wiped the dry mucous from her nose and touches her cheek with his other hoof.

“An intruder broke into your house and tied me up and tortured me.”

“Let me take you home and I'll call the police.”

He helped Trixie up and they walked into the kitchen.

“Here, let me just get my house keys, and I will walk you home.”

Trixie watched Great Ruse grab his house keys as he led her to the front door.

“I can't believe this happened to you, this is horrible.  I'm so sorry, I should have never let you in!  This never would have happened.”

“Don't blame yourself.  I'm not hurt, and no pony was killed.”  Trixie struggled to say as she cleared her throat.

“If I never would have asked you inside, this never would have happened.”  Great Ruse explained as he picked up his work duffle bag from beside the front door.  “Here, lets take you home.  I got my phone to call the police with in my bag.”

Trixie looked at him, with a neutral expression, but looking into his gray dull eyes.  “You know what . . . I will walk myself home.”

“No, no, let me take you home.”  Great Ruse reasoned.

“You have done enough, Great Ruse.  I will walk myself home.”  Trixie said rather sternly as she opened the front door herself and stepped down the stoop.  She didn't turn back as she walked down the street opposite direction of her apartment.

Great Ruse watched her flank as she walked off and lifted his head slightly, still watching.  His expression became a frown as he dropped his duffle bag and cursed beneath his breath.

A box of tissues rolled out.