- Americans and Illegal Aliens Rejoice! The cancerous President Barrack Obama was assassinated at 12:32 AM, May 6th, 2012, while sucking off Bill O' Riley in his private offices. Based on reports from the Secret Service, and Navy Seal officer Johnathon Redding, the President died from several gunshot wounds to the head, and approximately 30 lacerations to and around his genitals. The prime suspect in this case is of course, Bill O' Riley, who has been known to hate the nigger President with a passion greater than the heat of the sun. More details will become available as the story develops.
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