701
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:34,790
Now, George Clooney.
He directed it as well, didn't he?
702
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:39,230
George directed it, he stars in it,
he produced it and he co-wrote it.
703
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:42,950
I've been wondering, looking at
what you're doing at the moment,
704
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:44,950
is how on earth
you are fitting it in,
705
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:47,830
because you're also working on W1A.
706
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:51,150
Yes, W1A is a spin-off of
a show I did called Twenty Twelve.
707
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:54,510
Which was fabulous. Thank you
very much. I properly loved that.
708
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:58,030
It was a mockumentary about
trying to organise the Olympics.
709
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:01,270
Obviously, my character made such a
success of organising the Olympics,
710
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:04,190
I'm the go-to man
to sort out corporate issues.
711
00:41:04,240 --> 00:41:06,990
So what better place than
to go into the BBC?
712
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:08,750
When I heard that
this was happening,
713
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:12,190
and I can see all the location signs
around the BBC buildings
714
00:41:12,240 --> 00:41:14,350
where you are filming it,
I was thinking,
715
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:17,670
how do you make fiction
about BBC management
716
00:41:17,720 --> 00:41:20,160
funnier than what actually happens?
717
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:24,310
Broadcasting House, the new big
building on Regent Street,
718
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:26,870
Portland Place,
you're not allowed in there
719
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:30,870
even if you're BBC staff unless
you've been on a half-hour
720
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:34,470
health and safety course on
how to operate the building.
721
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:35,910
I started the course.
722
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:39,630
A lady with an eight-page document
arrived to talk me through it.
723
00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:43,790
Page one was a picture of
a fire alarm, red fire alarm box.
724
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:45,590
It said, "This is a fire alarm."
725
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:50,590
Page two, a graphic of a green sign
with a man running like this
726
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:53,390
with the word "exit".
"That's an emergency exit."
727
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:55,430
At that point, I was taken off
to do some filming.
728
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:57,790
I still haven't...
You haven't completed the course?
729
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:00,910
I still haven't. I still have to be
escorted around Broadcasting House
730
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:03,310
in case I'm confused
by a light fitting!
731
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,830
Or something of that nature.
It is stupid.
732
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:09,350
I'm longing to see something
that satirises it,
733
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:13,550
but again, how are you doing it?
You must be the world's busiest man.
734
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:16,470
Presumably you drove very quickly
around the lap,
735
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:19,190
so you could get home more quickly?
736
00:42:19,240 --> 00:42:21,430
No, I'm not a speed merchant.
737
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:23,870
At the beginning,
when The Stig took me around,
738
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:26,470
I was really terrified,
being in the passenger seat,
739
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,710
and I thought,
"I'll never be able to do this."
740
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:30,390
By the end,
as your guys will tell you,
741
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:32,750
I refused to get out, I wanted
to go again and again.
742
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:34,670
Who here would like to see the lap?
743
00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:36,590
AUDIENCE: Yes!
744
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:38,520
Play the tape, let's have a look.
745
00:42:41,240 --> 00:42:43,830
The car, fresh after its long rest.
746
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:45,160
Come on, son!
747
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:49,750
Look at the lines, streaming down.
748
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:53,830
That is wet, really is pouring down,
and that's odd for England(!)
749
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:57,430
If you're watching abroad,
it's never normally like that here.
750
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,470
Where's the white line? Oh, there.
751
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:00,910
LAUGHTER
752
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:04,230
You may laugh, but it is
quite tricky to see the line
753
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:06,590
when the track is soaking wet.
754
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:08,080
It's really steamy.
755
00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:11,280
Hmm?
756
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:18,310
You need to get that sort of thing
sorted out before you set off.
757
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:21,550
Even though the lines are invisible
from behind the wheel,
758
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:24,470
you've done a pretty good job.
That's not bad.
759
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,920
Woohoo! Perfectly judged.
760
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:31,800
Must remember to get some milk.
761
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:35,830
Worse than Kimi Raikkonen
for not paying attention,
762
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:38,000
but no worries through there at all.
763
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:42,910
Tyres, speedy, moving them
about nicely.
764
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:44,790
Oh, that is quick!
765
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:47,030
On the wrong side of the road there,
but never mind.
766
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:50,230
It's nicely done,
and you haven't gone off
on the second to last corner.
767
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:53,670
Gambon, a bit of understeer.
That car grips well.
768
00:43:53,720 --> 00:43:55,390
And there we are. Across the line!
769
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:58,880
APPLAUSE
770
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:03,600
Now, ha-ha!
771
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:12,510
Just realised that's the first ever
wet lap we've had in that car.
772
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:15,230
Nobody else has driven around
in the rain.
773
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:18,990
Bearing that in mind,
where do you think you've come?
774
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:24,830
Well, I suspect...between
Ron Howard and Steven Tyler,
775
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:26,350
bearing in mind it's wet.
776
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:30,870
Somewhere between 1.50 and 1.51
is what you think you've done.
777
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:32,440
Well, you did it in...
778
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:44,550
1.50.1.
779
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:49,110
Which means you're the first guest
ever to guess correctly...
780
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:51,840
Wait, wait, wait!
781
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:58,510
You just put Steven Tyler...
I'll cross it out, wrong.
782
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,920
A very professional show.
There, look, correct!
783
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:05,350
To be brutally honest with you,
The Stig did say
784
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:06,870
that you have a natural talent
785
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:10,790
and if it had been dry you would
have been very close to the top.
786
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:13,030
Well, that's an accolade then. It is.
787
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:16,790
I'll go away happy, thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you so much, Hugh Bonneville!
788
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:18,110
Thank you.
789
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:19,800
CHEERING
790
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:26,950
Right, tonight the boys and girls
who produce Top Gear
791
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:30,110
are on a mission to prove that
the hot hatchbacks of our era
792
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:33,950
were rubbish. Yeah.
Things are not going well for me,
793
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,270
cos I've slightly damaged
the engine... Ruined.
794
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:37,350
LAUGHTER
795
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:40,590
Slightly damaged. Whatever... Damaged
the engine in my Nova and it's
796
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:43,390
on the back of a tow truck.
But despite this we had been told
797
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:46,150
to report to somewhere
we couldn't pronounce...
798
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:47,560
in Wales.
799
00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:55,240
Having crossed the Severn Estuary
we soon arrived at the location.
800
00:45:56,520 --> 00:46:01,150
HE STRUGGLES TO PRONOUNCE:
Trefniadaeth Seilwaith Amddiffyn
801
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:04,910
Man Hyfforddi Caerwent.
802
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:08,390
And here on this huge, abandoned
army base crisscrossed
803
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:12,430
with more than 30 miles
of deserted roads,
804
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:15,870
we received the details
of our challenge.
805
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:18,550
Oh, hello. Why is it an envelope
and not a text this time?
806
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:21,310
That's a good point.
We're in Wales - no signal.
807
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:24,150
Ahh! Yeah!
We're back to the old ways.
808
00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:25,710
Come on then, what is it?
809
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:28,430
"Because the drivers of '80s
hatchbacks were irresponsible
810
00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:31,950
"and stupid they were often chased
by the 50."
811
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:36,110
Er, James, it means the 5-0,
as in Hawaii 5-0, it's the police.
812
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:38,070
Yeah, whatever.
Well, anyway. The 50!
813
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:40,550
Anyway...
"You will now go head-to-head with
814
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:43,710
"the Top Gear Police Department.
Each of you will take it in turns
815
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:46,550
"to drive your own car
while the other two will use
816
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:49,270
"a selection of police vehicles
to try and stop you."
817
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:51,630
That sounds quite good.
It does sound good.
818
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:53,910
Tell you what, Hammond,
you go first.
819
00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:55,550
Erm, good, yes.
820
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:57,320
I might need a minute.
821
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:00,150
While Hammond mended his car,
822
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:05,630
James and I broke out
the TGPD pursuit vehicles
823
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:09,040
and slipped into
our police uniforms.
824
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:15,390
OK, Hammond, are you ready?
825
00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:20,190
Yes, I am. This is going to be good.
In 3, 2, 1...
826
00:47:20,240 --> 00:47:22,030
start the clock.
827
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:23,800
ENGINE FAILS TO START
828
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:27,630
STARTS CREAKILY
829
00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:29,590
We are off.
830
00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:34,190
CREAKS AND GRINDS
831
00:47:34,240 --> 00:47:36,790
Yep, it's just warming up.
SIREN WAILS
832
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:38,430
Here we go...
833
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:42,630
Ha-ha!
834
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:45,110
Excuse me, sir, my moustache
would like a word with you,
835
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:48,110
if you'd like to step out of the
vehicle. You're nicked, sunshine.
836
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:50,390
What did I do? How long?
Eight seconds.
837
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:52,030
Do you know, another fault...
838
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:54,470
Did it? Very similar. Did it?
839
00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:58,110
It manifested itself similarly to
the last one that one I repaired.
840
00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:02,190
Tell that to the judge...
Yes...sunshine. Right.
841
00:48:02,240 --> 00:48:04,070
Jeremy then put on the yobbo outfit
842
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:07,990
and lined up his velvet Golf
on the start line.
843
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:11,350
3, 2, 1...begin...
844
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:15,030
COPS AND ROBBERS MUSIC
845
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:16,550
SIRENS WAIL
846
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:19,920
And there we are, eight seconds.
I've already beaten Hammond.
847
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:28,440
He's getting away, constable!
848
00:48:29,720 --> 00:48:31,360
Yes. Live with this...!
849
00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:36,310
You see, what we're learning
straight away is that
850
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:41,840
a modern police Astra is no match
for a 1980s hot hatchback.
851
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:46,040
TYRES SQUEAL
852
00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:51,110
And it wasn't just the Astras
that were causing problems.
853
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:53,590
Recent figures say that in London
854
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:57,550
12 police cars
are crashed every day.
855
00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:01,230
And the reason is, it's because
they are driving in high-energy
856
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:05,640
difficult situations while under
the influence of the moustache.
857
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:11,550
Got a moustache, got a moustache,
got a moustache.
858
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:14,160
TYRES SQUEAL
859
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:18,560
Oh, he's lost it!
860
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:23,360
Totally distracted
by his face decoration.
861
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:29,430
MUSIC: "Miami Vice Theme"
by Jan Hammer
862
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:31,910
With the Astras
unable to close the gap...
863
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:33,400
Come on!
864
00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:36,160
..the chase went on...
865
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:39,270
..and on...
866
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:40,960
and on...
867
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:48,230
MUSIC CONTINUES
868
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:52,510
The next morning, the weather
had become extremely Welsh.
869
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:54,840
But still, the Golf was uncaught.
870
00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:57,830
This isn't working, sir.
871
00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:00,270
No, I agree, I think
we're going to have to break out
872
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:02,960
the Top Gear Police Department
magnetron of justice.
873
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:08,160
If anything could stop
the miscreant, it was this.
874
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:14,400
A giant crane with a seven-kilowatt
magnet suspended from its arm.
875
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:20,920
A machine that could render
any vehicle immobile in moments.
876
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:27,160
Right, let's go get him.
877
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:30,720
Soon, the trap was set.
878
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:35,830
Mmm, what's this...?
879
00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:38,190
Arming magnet.
880
00:50:38,240 --> 00:50:40,800
MAGNET FIZZING
881
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:51,520
Here he comes...
882
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:55,120
RICHARD CHUCKLES
883
00:51:02,720 --> 00:51:06,430
Blithering idiots. Do they not
realise you can't use a magnet
884
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:08,160
to pick up velvet?
885
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:11,990
There was only one thing for it -
886
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:15,960
unleash the TGPD
remote-controlled car of death.
887
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:19,960
Target vehicle identified
and located.
888
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:23,440
Where the hell are they?
889
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:29,070
How can this be a police chase when
they aren't chasing me any more?
890
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:30,790
Target acquired...
891
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:32,960
BEEPING
892
00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:39,550
Sir, you might want to
put your fingers in your ears.
893
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:42,710
I don't know where those two are
or what they're plotting
894
00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:44,990
but it won't work.
895
00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:47,310
BEEPING
896
00:51:47,360 --> 00:51:50,310
This car is simply...
897
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:51,400
invincib...
898
00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:07,110
Bigger than I was expecting,
constable.
899
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:08,680
Yes, sir, it was, sir.
900
00:52:13,240 --> 00:52:18,030
So, it turns out that velvet
is impervious to magnets,
901
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:20,760
but it IS pervious to dynamite.
902
00:52:22,760 --> 00:52:25,950
Nevertheless, I felt confident
that James would not be able
903
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:31,150
to beat my evasion time
of 14 hours and 22 minutes.
904
00:52:31,200 --> 00:52:34,710
In...3, 2, 1...
905
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:36,320
start the clock.
906
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:39,550
SIRENS WAIL
907
00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:42,990
However, as he set off it
became clear he'd come up
908
00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:44,640
with an unusual plan...
909
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:47,880
What is he doing?
910
00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:54,390
Now, the thing is, viewers, whenever
you watch Police Camera Action
911
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:57,190
or see a real police chase, the
person trying to get away is always
912
00:52:57,240 --> 00:52:59,790
going ludicrously fast,
but, actually, what's the point?
913
00:52:59,840 --> 00:53:02,670
You'd just panic
and have an accident
914
00:53:02,720 --> 00:53:04,510
and that's the end of that,
915
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:06,830
but if you just do normal speed,
916
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:09,000
they still can't get you
out of the car, can they?
917
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:14,110
Keen to prove him wrong,
918
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:17,510
I initiated the TGPD
anti-terrorism move.
919
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:19,120
Here we go.
920
00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:22,640
Pushing, pushing.
921
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:26,640
Got him.
922
00:53:32,680 --> 00:53:34,400
He's just driven off!
923
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:39,710
'As the hours crawled by,
we tried many things.'
924
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:41,680
Stop him, Constable!
925
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:43,750
How's that going to help?
926
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:45,270
I've fallen off the bonnet!
927
00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:47,990
What are you going to do
if the doors are locked?
928
00:53:48,040 --> 00:53:49,880
You can't pull a man
out of a car.
929
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:55,560
This is an arrest.
930
00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:02,830
'Happily, though, after many hours of
tedious pursuit...'
931
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:06,190
Weaving, weaving...
932
00:54:06,240 --> 00:54:11,950
'..James finally made a mistake.'
Oh, crikey, this is a dead end.
933
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:16,030
Yes, his sense of direction
has let him down. A-ha!
934
00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:17,910
In we go, yes.
935
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:20,150
LOUD BANG
Bollocks!
936
00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:22,560
We've got him! We finally have him.
937
00:54:23,720 --> 00:54:26,360
We don't have him,
he's closed my door.
938
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:31,910
He's done it again.
939
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:36,190
And now look.
I've damaged a police car.
940
00:54:36,240 --> 00:54:40,910
'This meant I was now delayed
with police paperwork.'
941
00:54:40,960 --> 00:54:46,110
"I were in pursuit of a pleb...
942
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:49,750
"IC1, male.
943
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:56,320
"He did crash into me at speed."
944
00:54:57,440 --> 00:54:59,760
I'm going to get that bastard!
945
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:10,110
While Jeremy had been
finessing his statement, I decided
946
00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:16,750
it was time to skewer May
with the TGPD prongs of doom.
947
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:18,760
SIREN BLARES
948
00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:27,270
It's a heavy, high-mobility
engineer excavator,
949
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:29,920
built by JCB for the military.
950
00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:38,350
It weighs 13.5 tonnes, but it's got
a 6.7 litre straight-six turbo-diesel
951
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:40,680
and it can do 63mph.
952
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:45,150
James May, you've had it!
953
00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:47,160
Wherever you are.
954
00:55:49,440 --> 00:55:55,040
'James had vanished. But we had
just the thing to find him again.'
955
00:55:56,920 --> 00:56:03,560
The time has come, I think,
to deploy the Top Gear Police
Department drone of intrusiveness.
956
00:56:05,560 --> 00:56:13,270
'With its military-spec nose-mounted
reconnaissance camera, it would
track down May in a heartbeat.'
957
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:14,880
Here we go.
958
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:21,680
The drone of intrusiveness
has crashed.
959
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:29,280
'Eventually I got the drone airborne
and begun the hunt for OJ May.'
960
00:56:37,720 --> 00:56:40,270
Wait a minute.
961
00:56:40,320 --> 00:56:43,080
You sneaky little...
962
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:48,030
James was hiding
in an abandoned garage bay,
963
00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:50,750
but if he thought he was safe there,
964
00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:53,120
he had another think coming.
965
00:56:57,480 --> 00:57:00,470
Welcome, everyone,
to the Top Gear Police Department
966
00:57:00,520 --> 00:57:02,800
eaty thing of devastation.
967
00:57:05,040 --> 00:57:08,190
This was designed primarily
for mine clearance, but in the TGPD,
968
00:57:08,240 --> 00:57:14,040
we use it in
a rather different way.
969
00:57:17,960 --> 00:57:20,350
There is Constable Hammond.
970
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:24,840
The enemy, behind that wall,
no idea what is coming.
971
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:31,470
Engaging flails!
972
00:57:31,520 --> 00:57:34,360
Flails engaged!
973
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:40,840
I'm not sure he should be
operating that thing.
974
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:48,080
DRILLING
975
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:53,080
Yes, look at that!
976
00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:16,230
He's not where...
977
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:18,880
What he isn't, sir, is there.
978
00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:24,470
Situation update:
in three minutes' time,
979
00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:29,320
I will have beaten Jeremy's record
on the run at a reasonable speed.
980
00:58:30,520 --> 00:58:33,600
But the TGPD toy box
wasn't empty yet.
981
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:40,840
Whoa! Ha-ha-ha!
982
00:58:46,560 --> 00:58:49,710
Hello, it looks like
Constable Hammond
983
00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:52,350
has got the hang of tank driving.
984
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:55,480
The first thing you need to know is,
I have an erection!
985
00:58:58,040 --> 00:59:00,470
Coming at you, James May!
986
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:04,950
Oh, no, the Top Gear Police
Department tank of righteousness
is right on my tail.
987
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:06,950
What am I going to do?
988
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,160
I know.
989
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:15,270
Easy.
990
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:16,840
Right!
991
00:59:20,200 --> 00:59:21,640
Oh, hang on a minute.
992
00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:26,190
He's stopped, he's given up!
993
00:59:26,240 --> 00:59:27,760
LOUD EXPLOSION
994
00:59:46,360 --> 00:59:50,480
And on that bombshell...
back to the studio.
995
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:54,760
APPLAUSE
996
00:59:58,600 --> 01:00:04,350
It's interesting, an important
question was raised in that film.
997
01:00:04,400 --> 01:00:08,590
Because if you have a moustache,
how do you concentrate
998
01:00:08,640 --> 01:00:11,110
on doing anything other than
having a moustache?
999
01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:14,790
I know, I felt like I was the
life-support machine for a moustache.
1000
01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:18,590
If you're a bomb disposal man,
and you have to defuse a bomb,
1001
01:00:18,640 --> 01:00:21,190
you are thinking,
"I have a moustache."
1002
01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:26,470
How did Nigel Mansell win a Formula
One world championship? I know!
1003
01:00:26,520 --> 01:00:28,470
You don't have a moustache, sir,
1004
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:31,270
but let me show you
what it's like to have one.
1005
01:00:31,320 --> 01:00:35,870
It's like that. What do you do
for a living? Transport manager.
1006
01:00:35,920 --> 01:00:38,750
You couldn't be a transport manager
if I was doing that to you.
1007
01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:40,400
LAUGHTER
1008
01:00:44,000 --> 01:00:47,750
Anyway, we must get on
because I have received a text -
1009
01:00:47,800 --> 01:00:51,230
the results of
the car evasion challenge.
1010
01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:55,430
Jeremy Clarkson, 14 hours
22 minutes. Richard Hammock...
1011
01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:57,190
Autocorrect again?
1012
01:00:57,240 --> 01:00:59,830
Yes. Eight seconds. Thank you.
1013
01:00:59,880 --> 01:01:03,590
James May, 14 hours, 21 minutes.
1014
01:01:03,640 --> 01:01:06,070
Oh, blast! There you are.
1015
01:01:06,120 --> 01:01:08,870
Hang on, so the Fiesta
won the supermarket sweep,
1016
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:10,950
the Golf won the police chase
1017
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:13,070
and the Nova won the hill climb.
1018
01:01:13,120 --> 01:01:16,790
That means that each of the cars
is a winner. Precisely.
1019
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:19,710
Which means that the older
hot hatchback
1020
01:01:19,760 --> 01:01:21,870
is better than the modern one.
1021
01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:26,630
Which means we were right, and on
that bombshell, it's time to end.
1022
01:01:26,680 --> 01:01:29,430
Thank you very much for watching.
Good night!
1023
01:01:29,480 --> 01:01:31,120
APPLAUSE