######## Timer Stylesheet
#timer_text
{
display: none;
color: #000000; /* Jonah */
color: #BBBBBB; /* Sugarcane */
font-weight: bold;
font-size: 28px;
margin: 10px 0 20px 0;
}
#timer_canvas
{
display: none;
width: 150px;
height: 150px;
}
######## cash
//You have $<<print $cash>>! Congratulations!
######## transition
addStyle(".passage { opacity:1 !important; } "); function fade(f, c) { if(c.onComplete) { c.onComplete()}}
######## Start
<<display MAINMENU>><<set $difficulty = 0>><<set $challenge = "NORMAL">><<set $optionsvisited = 0>><html><a title="hits counter"
href="http://statcounter.com/"
target="_blank"><img
src="http://c.statcounter.com/9108413/0/0c7a98f8/1/"
alt="hits counter" style="border:none;"></a></html>
######## StoryTitle
ULTRA BUSINESS TYCOON III
######## MAINMENU
<html><h1>ULTRA BUSINESS TYCOON III</h1></html>
[[NEW GAME|START]]
[[LOAD GAME]]
[[OPTIONS]]
[[GUIDE]]
[[CREDITS]]
[[QUIT]]<<silently>><<set $gender = "none">>
<<set $gen = 0>>
<<set $cash = 20000>>
<<set $plans = 0>>
<<set $pass = 0>>
<<set $bugchest = 0>>
<<set $chest1 = 0>>
<<set $chest2 = 0>>
<<set $embezzle = 0>>
<<set $skel = 0>>
<<set $vase = 0>>
<<set $shareware = 0>>
<<set $weapon = 0>>
<<set $cell = 0>>
<<set $cell1 = 0>>
<<set $vaulted = 0>>
<<set $knife = 0>>
<<set $porp = 0>>
<<set $punch = 0>>
<<set $trash_end = 0>>
<<set $prison_end = 0>>
<<set $decompose = 0>>
<<set $cop = 0>>
<<if $optionsvisited eq 1>>
<<set $difficulty = $difficulty - 1>>
<<set $optionsvisited = 0>>
<<endif>><<endsilently>>
######## START
[[CUSTOM CHARACTER|GENDER]]
[[RANDOMLY GENERATED|NEW GAME 2]]
######## NEW GAME 2
<<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 4)>><<if $rand eq 1>>You have died during character creation.
Please try again.
[[RESTART|MAINMENU]]<<else>><<silently>>
<<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 2)>>
<<if $rand eq 0>>
<<set $gender = "woman">>
<<endif>>
<<if $rand eq 1>>
<<set $gender = "man">>
<<endif>>
<<if $rand eq 2>>
<<set $gender = "replicant">>
<<endif>>
<<if $gender eq "woman">>
<<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 4)>>
<<if $rand eq 0>>
<<set $name = "Alexus Steel">>
<<endif>>
<<if $rand eq 1>>
<<set $name = "Electrum Comessa">>
<<endif>>
<<if $rand eq 2>>
<<set $name = "Indra Anvil">>
<<endif>>
<<if $rand eq 3>>
<<set $name = "Olivia Heat Death">>
<<endif>>
<<if $rand eq 4>>
<<set $name = "Lana Ulterior">>
<<endif>>
<<endif>>
<<if $gender eq "man">>
<<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 4)>>
<<if $rand eq 0>>
<<set $name = "JP 'Vector' LeMorgan">>
<<endif>>
<<if $rand eq 1>>
<<set $name = "Testosterone Bill">>
<<endif>>
<<if $rand eq 2>>
<<set $name = "Buster Almondmind">>
<<endif>>
<<if $rand eq 3>>
<<set $name = "Terrence Cavanagh">>
<<endif>>
<<if $rand eq 4>>
<<set $name = "Jacoby 'Wildcat' Jones">>
<<endif>>
<<endif>>
<<if $gender eq "replicant">>
<<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 4)>>
<<if $rand eq 0>>
<<set $name = "Money Machine">>
<<endif>>
<<if $rand eq 1>>
<<set $name = "Mammon Mark II">>
<<endif>>
<<if $rand eq 2>>
<<set $name = "Violator Crescendo">>
<<endif>>
<<if $rand eq 3>>
<<set $name = "Cash Viper">>
<<endif>>
<<if $rand eq 4>>
<<set $name = "Dollar Drone Sloane">>
<<endif>>
<<endif>><<endsilently>>
<html><h3>CHARACTER INFO</h3></html>
NAME: <<print $name>>
SIGNATURE BUSINESS CARD: <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 6)>><<if $rand eq 0>>Liquid Flensed<<endif>><<if $rand eq 1>>Brushed<<endif>><<if $rand
eq 2>>Laser-Etched<<endif>><<if $rand eq 3>>Biomechanical<<endif>><<if $rand eq 4>>Mottled<<endif>><<if $rand eq 5>>Nano-Woven<<endif>><<if $rand eq
6>>Bleached<<endif>> <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 8)>><<if $rand eq 0>>Ivory<<endif>><<if $rand eq 1>>Obsidian<<endif>><<if $rand eq 2>>Gold
Leaf<<endif>><<if $rand eq 3>>Denim<<endif>><<if $rand eq 4>>Abalone<<endif>><<if $rand eq 5>>Neon<<endif>><<if $rand eq 6>>Sandstone<<endif>><<if $rand
eq 7>>Emerald<<endif>><<if $rand eq 8>>Diamond<<endif>> <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 8)>><<if $rand eq 0>>Chrome<<endif>><<if $rand eq
1>>Leather<<endif>><<if $rand eq 2>>Fossil<<endif>><<if $rand eq 3>>Steel<<endif>><<if $rand eq 4>>Eggshell<<endif>><<if $rand eq 5>>Seashell<<endif>><<if
$rand eq 6>>Ambergris<<endif>><<if $rand eq 7>>Crystal<<endif>><<if $rand eq 8>>Graphite<<endif>>
GENDER: <<if $gender eq "woman">><<print "WOMAN">><<endif>><<if $gender eq "man">><<print "MAN">><<endif>><<if $gender eq "replicant">><<print
"REPLICANT">><<endif>>
DIFFICULTY: <<print $challenge>>
[[GENERATE BUSINESS WORLD]]<<endif>>
######## LOAD GAME
[[kelly - 67:28 - Frozen Church Zone IV]]
SAVE SLOT 2
SAVE SLOT 3
[[BACK|MAINMENU]]
######## kelly - 67:28 - Frozen Church Zone IV
//Your big sister's save file. Best not to fuck with it.//
[[...|LOAD GAME]]
######## GUIDE
[[BESTIARY]]
[[TIPS]]
[[BACK|MAINMENU]]
######## BESTIARY
CAR: Watch out for mysterious "car". Haunts cities at all hours. Known for its mournful, ferocious "beep".
COP: Cops will protect you.
TANGLETWEEPS: Kill them with a double jump. They are harmless.
SKELEGROANS: Strong in packs. Catch them alone when sleeping or at breakfast with spouse and children then tap x to kill them.
CORPORATE SECURITY GUARD (EXOSKELETON): Do not attempt to face without at least 10 points in hacking. Conventional weapons are useless against their
augmented exoskeletons.
CORPORATE SECURITY GUARD (NON-EXOSKELETON): These are basically a joke.
TEAR ELEMENTAL: Can only be summoned by the most powerful (saddest) lachrymancers.
AERO-CENTIPEDE: When a corporation of power **** or greater is destroyed, its consciousness is uploaded to the dormant aero-centipede in its roots. This
centipede flies until it finds a safe place to regenerate.
BEACH BEE: If you keep getting stung, ask yourself, where is beach bee's hive? Destroy it and Beach Bee will become sad.
TRASH BEES: Unlike the independent free market beach bee, trash bees believe in communism and as such pool their resources deep below the earth. Their
hives are made from trash and their honey is 90 percent liquid trash and 10 percent liquid trash.
FLAPFLAP: 17 hp. 9 attack speed. 44 intensity. Special attack: Rambunctious.
[[BACK|GUIDE]]
######## TIPS
In times of stress your heightened tycoon senses will allow a mystical "world-soul-fusion" to common materials!
Low Tier: Wood, Plastic, Fake Grass, Mundane Cardboard
Mid Tier: Glass, Fabric, Blessed Cardboard
High Tier: Gold, Porcelain, Fur, GemWall
Save up 1 Million Dollars to win the game!
Drink lots of water!
[[BACK|GUIDE]]
######## OPTIONS
<<set $difficulty = $difficulty + 1>><<if $difficulty eq 5>><<set $difficulty = 1>><<endif>>[[DIFFICULTY|OPTIONS]]
<<if $difficulty eq 1>><<set $challenge = "NORMAL">>EASY
''[NORMAL]''
HARD
NIGHTMARE
<<endif>><<if $difficulty eq 2>><<set $challenge = "HARD">>EASY
NORMAL
''[HARD]''
NIGHTMARE<<endif>><<if $difficulty eq 3>><<set $challenge = "NIGHTMARE">>EASY
NORMAL
HARD
''[NIGHTMARE]''<<endif>><<if $difficulty eq 4>><<set $challenge = "EASY">>''[EASY]''
NORMAL
HARD
NIGHTMARE<<endif>>
<<if $challenge eq "NORMAL">>Enemies have regular HP. Bee AI set to Realistic.<<endif>><<if $challenge eq "HARD">>Enemies have 1.5x HP. Bee AI set to
Erratic.<<endif>><<if $challenge eq "NIGHTMARE">>Enemies have 2x HP. Bee AI set to Hell Mode. <<endif>><<if $challenge eq "EASY">>Enemies have 1/2 HP. Bee
AI set to Nice.<<endif>>
[[BACK|MAINMENU]]
<<set $optionsvisited = 1>>
######## CREDITS
Developed by the [[Porpentine Educational Computing Consortium|http://aliendovecote.com]]
Awarded 2nd Best Edutainment Developer of 1995 by the Alcoa Agricultural Society of Tennessee
Testers:
[[Leon Arnott|http://l.j-factor.com/]]
[[Lilith Megiddo|http://cicadamarionette.com/]]
Special Thanks to:
The Alcoa High School goth club for babysitting the kids of our many talented developers when we were working those late night "crunch" times to ship the
very product you see today!
[[BACK|MAINMENU]]
######## GENDER
<html><h3>GENDER SELECT</h3></html>
[[MALE]]
[[FEMALE]]
[[REPLICANT]]
######## FEMALE
GENDER: FEMALE
IS THIS CORRECT
[[YES--PROCEED|NAME]]
[[NO--ABORT|GENDER]]
<<set $gender = "woman">>
######## MALE
GENDER: MALE
IS THIS CORRECT
[[YES--PROCEED|NAME]]
[[NO--ABORT|GENDER]]
<<set $gender = "man">>
######## REPLICANT
GENDER: REPLICANT
IS THIS CORRECT
[[YES--PROCEED|NAME]]
[[NO--ABORT|GENDER]]
<<set $gender = "replicant">>
######## NAME
<<set $name = prompt("INPUT NAME")>><html><h3>NAME INPUT</h3></html>
YOU ENTERED: <<print $name>>
IS THIS CORRECT
[[YES--PROCEED|SETTING]]
[[NO--ABORT|NAME]]
######## SETTING
<html><h3>WORLD GEN PARAMETERS</h3></html>
[CITY]
ROMAN (Deluxe Edition Only)
ARCOLOGY OF TERROR (Deluxe Edition Only)
JURASSIC (Jurassic Edition Only)
ATLANTIS (Wet n' Wild Edition Only)
[[ACCEPT|NEW GAME]]
######## NEW GAME
<html><h3>CHARACTER INFO</h3></html>
NAME: <<print $name>>
SIGNATURE BUSINESS CARD: <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 6)>><<if $rand eq 0>>Liquid Flensed<<endif>><<if $rand eq 1>>Brushed<<endif>><<if $rand
eq 2>>Laser-Etched<<endif>><<if $rand eq 3>>Biomechanical<<endif>><<if $rand eq 4>>Mottled<<endif>><<if $rand eq 5>>Nano-Woven<<endif>><<if $rand eq
6>>Bleached<<endif>> <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 8)>><<if $rand eq 0>>Ivory<<endif>><<if $rand eq 1>>Obsidian<<endif>><<if $rand eq 2>>Gold
Leaf<<endif>><<if $rand eq 3>>Denim<<endif>><<if $rand eq 4>>Abalone<<endif>><<if $rand eq 5>>Neon<<endif>><<if $rand eq 6>>Sandstone<<endif>><<if $rand
eq 7>>Emerald<<endif>><<if $rand eq 8>>Diamond<<endif>> <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 8)>><<if $rand eq 0>>Chrome<<endif>><<if $rand eq
1>>Leather<<endif>><<if $rand eq 2>>Fossil<<endif>><<if $rand eq 3>>Steel<<endif>><<if $rand eq 4>>Eggshell<<endif>><<if $rand eq 5>>Seashell<<endif>><<if
$rand eq 6>>Ambergris<<endif>><<if $rand eq 7>>Crystal<<endif>><<if $rand eq 8>>Graphite<<endif>>
GENDER: <<if $gender eq "woman">><<print "WOMAN">><<endif>><<if $gender eq "man">><<print "MAN">><<endif>><<if $gender eq "replicant">><<print
"REPLICANT">><<endif>>
DIFFICULTY: <<print $challenge>>
[[GENERATE BUSINESS WORLD]]
######## GENERATE BUSINESS WORLD
<<set $gen = $gen + 1>>
<<if $gen eq 1>>
GENERATING SKYSCRAPERS
<<display "Timer Addon">>
<<set_timer_mode "display">>
<<set_timer_param "GENERATE BUSINESS WORLD">>
<<start_timer 2>>
<<endif>>
<<if $gen eq 2>>
IMPLEMENTING JARGON
<<display "Timer Addon">>
<<set_timer_mode "display">>
<<set_timer_param "GENERATE BUSINESS WORLD">>
<<start_timer 2>>
<<endif>>
<<if $gen eq 3>>
SPAWNING SHAREHOLDERS
<<display "Timer Addon">>
<<set_timer_mode "display">>
<<set_timer_param "GENERATE BUSINESS WORLD">>
<<start_timer 2>>
<<endif>>
<<if $gen eq 2>>
<<endif>>
<<if $gen eq 4>>
MODULATING CAPITALISM
<<display "Timer Addon">>
<<set_timer_mode "display">>
<<set_timer_param "GENERATE BUSINESS WORLD">>
<<start_timer 2>>
<<endif>>
<<if $gen eq 5>>
[[ENTER BUSINESS WORLD|BUSINESS WORLD]]
<<endif>>
######## BUSINESS WORLD
Hello, <<print $name>>.
You are a prominent business<<print $gender>> in the money business.
[[Good luck.|hub]]<<if $difficult eq 0>><<set $hate = "EASY">><<endif>>
######## QUIT
PLEASE TRY OUR OTHER TITLES
ULTRA BUSINESS TYCOON
ULTRA BUSINESS TYCOON II: TROUBLED WATERS
ULTRA BUSINESS TYCOON: DELUXE EDITION
ULTRA BUSINESS TYCOON V: THE JURASSIC PERIOD
BEACH BEE: TRIVIA LAS VEGAS
SPECIAL COP
ANGRY CYBORG WOMAN SPECIAL AGENT
######## sugarjonah
History.prototype.originalDisplay = History.prototype.display;
History.prototype.display = function (title, link, render)
{
if ((render != 'quietly') && (render != 'offscreen'))
removeChildren($('passages'));
this.originalDisplay.apply(this, arguments);
};
######## webfont
WebFontConfig = {
google: { families: [ 'Open+Sans:400,700:latin' ] }
};
(function() {
var wf = document.createElement('script');
wf.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https' : 'http') +
'://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/webfont/1/webfont.js';
wf.type = 'text/javascript';
wf.async = 'true';
var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0];
s.parentNode.insertBefore(wf, s);
})();
######## trashsea
You crawl down through the hole in the street, treading across [[putrid sand|thisaway]].
######## north
Titanic golden pillars ridged with dollar signs.
ONE MILLION DOLLARS TO PASS THESE GATES
WHERE GLORY FAME AND POWER AWAITS
<<if $cash lt 1000000>>A Capitalist Force Field blocks your path, humming greedily.
//It never works, but you always bounce against the green energy a few times, listlessly hoping something will change, that the game's immutable code will
have magically slipped like the guts of an analogue machine where a gear can grind down or a pin can break.//
[[Return|hub]]<<else>>The Capitalist Force Field zaps out of existence.
[[Through the gates|onward]]<<endif>>
######## hub
//You gaze at the top of the screen. $<<print $cash>>. <<if $cash eq 1000000>>Holy fuck you've never had this much before now you can go through the
MAMMON GATES holy fuck!<<else>>Still not enough.<<endif>> <<if $weapon eq 1>>At least you have a weapon now.<<endif>>
You wonder if you need to change the [[difficulty|DIFFICULTY]]. Intermittently you check your [[stats|STATS]].
//
The [[Mammon Gates|north]] frame the sky to the north.
Your [[corporate fortress skyscraper|elevator up]] looms behind you. The restaurant district shakes with the bellows of [[Weapon Chef|chef]].
[[Oasis Zone VI|shareware]] lies east, just beyond the city walls. If you travel downward through the Landfill Catacombs you will reach [[Subterranean
Trash Zone II|down]] (you feel [[weird|about zone]] about that place).
<<if $cop eq 3>>The Cop's massive body <<if ($trash_end neq 1) and ($prison_end neq 1)>>has smashed open the street, exposing an entrance to [[the Trash
Beach|thisaway]]. More Cops are streaming from the [[Station|mistook]] to gaze on it in horror.<<endif>><<if $decompose eq 1>>is decomposing in a pool of
shattered, bloody glass.<<else>><<if $prison_end eq 1>>has smashed open the street, exposing an entrance to [[the Trash Beach|thisaway]].<<endif>><<if
$trash_end eq 1>>is being gazed at by horrified Cops streaming from the [[Station|mistook]].<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>>
<<silently>><<if $optionsvisited eq 1>>
<<set $difficulty = $difficulty - 1>>
<<set $optionsvisited = 0>>
<<endif>><<endsilently>>
######## shareware
<<if $shareware eq 0>><<set $code = prompt("INPUT SHAREWARE CODE")>><<if $code neq "3497282">>//The computer beeps angrily.
You've spent hours trying to get past the shareware border. Maybe they forgot something. A crack in their code. But you can't find it, no matter how much
you run along the walls jumping and hoping to pop through to the other side, suddenly free of the oppressive city, free to run through a forbidden world
of shifting sands and shimmering water.//
The beautiful Oasis Zone VI lies just on the other side of the [[city gates|hub]]. Glittering blue water and green frond-pillars.
The leylines of capitalism are strong in this place and where they run the sand is burnt to glass, black roads of power gleaming with sunlight. Much
business has been conducted here.
//The entrance is guarded by a massive shareware sign.//<<else>>The shareware barrier disappears in a shriek of candied static.
//"THANK YOU FOR BUYING A LEGITIMATE COPY OF ULTRA BUSINESS TYCOON III
GAME DEVELOPERS ACROSS THE GLOBE SALUTE YOUR DEDICATION TO FREE COMMERCE"
Firework animations explode from a gold trophy.//
The beautiful [[Oasis Zone VI|oasis]] lies just on the other side of the [[city gates|hub]]. Glittering blue water and green frond-pillars.
The leylines of capitalism are strong in this place and where they run the sand is burnt to glass, black roads of power gleaming with sunlight. Much
business has been conducted here.<<set $shareware = 1>>
<<endif>><<else>>The beautiful [[Oasis Zone VI|oasis]] lies just on the other side of the [[city gates|hub]]. Glittering blue water and green frond-
pillars.
The leylines of capitalism are strong in this place and where they run the sand is burnt to glass, black roads of power burning with sun. Much business
has been conducted here.<<endif>>
######## oasis
//Tan pixels spray across the screen in an approximation of dusty wind. The horizon is fringed with <<if $weapon eq 1>>dark<<else>>bright<<endif>> blue,
the oasis scrolling endlessly until it seems more like a beautiful inland sea.//
Cool wind skims across the oasis, ruffling your hair.
<<if $weapon eq 0>>Proto-merchants have set up tents of bee leather at the foot of an ancient [[statue]] and are hawking their [[wares]].
[[Haggle for weapons]]<<endif>><<if $weapon eq 1>>The proto-merchants are packing their wares in preparation for nightfall. The oasis glows with nocturnal
Jelly Critters.<<endif>>
Palm pillars looped with fronds and the occasional sparkling fruit.
[[Collect ivory frond|frond]]
[[Collect obsidian frond|frond]]
[[Collect lucky fruit|fruit]]
City lies back west.
[[Trudge west|shareware]]<<set $shareware = 1>>
######## frond
You add a frond to your inventory. This is a calming activity.
[[Back|oasis]]
######## fruit
You jump fruitlessly.
//Just another reminder of your terrible Jump stat.//
[[Back|oasis]]
######## Haggle for weapons
<<if $bugchest eq 0>>The proto-merchants glide toward you in a billow of slime. After some haggling, it would seem you do not have what they desire.
They are looking for a Bone Wallet, a Cat AI, or a Fire Chip.
[[Back|oasis]]
<<endif>><<if $bugchest eq 1>>
They take your Cat AI and gesture to their wares.
[[Take Armcannon Relic (+2 Armor Penetration, +10 Friendly Fire)|get weapon]]
[[Take Machine Flower (Modes: Poison Ice, Ice Poison)|get weapon]]
[[Take Kitten Gloves (+10 Murder)|get weapon]]
<<set $weapon eq 1>><<endif>><<if $bugchest eq 3>>
They are packing up their wares.<<endif>>
######## get weapon
//The weapon bounces into your inventory with a satisfying sound that loosens the knot of your spine.
Pling.//
[[Back|oasis]]
<<set $weapon = 1>>
######## statue
//You can only see the naked feet of this statue. The rest is offscreen. You jump up and down but the screen doesn't rise enough to show more than a few
extra inches of leg (female leg?).
You feel weird doing this.//
[[Back|oasis]]
######## wares
Across the merchant's table you see many weapons...
...the salvaged armcannon from a security mech (in the faded gold and blue colors of an extinct corporation), a machine flower that can spray poison ice
(probably from Meadow Death Zone I), and what appear to be kitten-shaped punching gloves stained with blood.
[[Back|oasis]]
######## elevator up
<<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 2)>><<if $rand eq 0>>//Why the fuck is this elevator cutscene so long.//<<endif>><<if $rand eq 1>>//You jump
around in the elevator on top of the other passengers. They don't react.//<<endif>><<if $rand eq 2>>//You nod your head back and forth to the bouncy
elevator muzak.//<<endif>>
[[Okay|office]]
######## office
<<if $cop eq 1>>//The Cop's pixelated muscles are still here. Shit.//
You did a bad thing...a Cop came...images of violence and terror flash across your eyeballs...can you escape this horrifying cycle? Is it even possible?
[[Grab the gun and fire|*bullet the Cop*]]
[[Grab the gun and kill yourself|suicide]]
[[Charge the window with your gorgeous executive body and smash through the glass and feel the drapes caress your suited form as you soar to the asphalt
below|window]]<<else>>Burgundy carpet. Monogrammed wallpaper. Spotless windows frame the sprawling cityscape. The [[Embezzlertron]] is behind your
[[desk]].
The [[Control Room entrance|control room]] is behind your secret bookshelf.
The exit is outside your office and down the [[elevator|elevator down]].<<endif>>
######## elevator down
<<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 2)>><<if $rand eq 0>>//Why the fuck is this elevator cutscene so long.//<<endif>><<if $rand eq 1>>//You jump
around in the elevator on top of the other passengers. They don't react.//<<endif>><<if $rand eq 2>>//You nod your head back and forth to the bouncy
elevator muzak.//<<endif>>
[[Okay|hub]]
######## control room
You enter the Control Room.
Shareholders burble in their vats as the leeching fluid extracts Invisible Hand orgones from their rich creamy skin.
Enormous bootstraps spin like great looms as they generate endless money with their magical leather friction.
A holoscreen displays the plans you drew up last night along with vital [[City stats]].
Your desk follows you obediently, kneeling on its human legs to present itself for your pleasure. Good desk.
Weapons-grade potassium is stacked in the corner.
[[Check desk contents|deskinv]]
[[Check latest news on rivals|rivals]]
[[Check holoscreen plans|holo]]
<<if $porp eq 0>><<if ($plans eq 1) and ($pass eq 1)>>[[Head to PorpCo|get]]
[[Return to office|office]]<<else>>[[Return to office|office]]<<endif>><<else>>[[Return to office|office]]<<endif>>
######## City stats
GENTRIFICATION 87% | BOOTSTRAPS 76% | NEOLIBERALISM 99%
[[Excellent|control room]]
######## rivals
<<if $porp eq 0>>PORPCO
Status: Active
Power: ****
Product: Crystals, estrogen, tears.
Weakness: Potassium.<<else>>PORPCO
Status: Dormant
Power: ???
Product: Crystals, estrogen, tears.
Weakness: Potassium.<<endif>>
SPIDERCO
Status: Chilling
Power: **
Product: Being a bunch of spiders.
Weakness: None.
PUFFCO
Status: ???
Power: *
Product: Puffballs
Weakness: Squish.
[[Back|control room]]
######## get
//You have acquired:
1 Gun
1 Vial of Weapons-grade Potassium//
<<if $weapon eq 1>>You drop the weapon you got from the proto-merchants. Too conspicuous for this kind of infiltration.
[[Nice|ride]]<<else>>[[Nice|ride]]<<endif>>
######## ride
The glittering skyscraper, the oily water, the beach of ground-up deprecated coinage.
[[Shipwrecks]] of failed bank-boats litter the metal sands.
The PorpCo gate looms.
[[USE PASS ON GATE]]
######## USE PASS ON GATE
You insert the pass into the gate's security slit.
<<replace "Sweat.">>Sweat.
<<replace "Sweat.">>Sweat.
The gate slides open with a rumble.
You walk through a sealed glass executive airbridge, high above the tearmoats. Drowned corporate spies litter the grounds, a warning to all who would
infiltrate upon PorpCo.
The glittering [[inner chambers]] beckon.<<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
######## inner chambers
You enter the antechamber of the exochamber of the inner chamber's endoantechamber, a spacious dome bristling with security.
What marvelous abalone accents, and those mobile attack turrets, wow, they must fire at least 2 pellets per second. Truly a fashionable firing rate, the
latest in corporate fortress fashion.
An exoskeletoned security guard approaches, hand at their hipgun.
<<if $gender eq "woman">>"Excuse me, ma'am. <<endif>><<if $gender eq "man">>"Excuse me, sir. <<endif>><<if $gender eq "replicant">>"Excuse me, honored
replicant. <<endif>> No weapons allowed on the premises. You'll have to leave your firearm with us for safekeeping."
[[Surrender the gun]]
[[Shoot the guard in the face]]
######## Shoot the guard in the face
Your bullets ricochet harmlessly off the abalone exoskeleton!
The guard gyrates wildly, energy projectiles firing from their hips!
//Red pixels spew from your character. The game makes a disappointed squelch and you die.
That sound always makes you feel...ashamed? Like the game wanted you to win and you let it down?//
[[YOU ARE DEAD]]
<<set $gameover = "DESTROYED BY PORPCO SECURITY GUARD">>
######## YOU ARE DEAD
<<print $gameover>>
[[RESPAWN|hub]]
######## Surrender the gun
//The gun disappears from your avatar. The guard returns to their patrol. You wish you could play as a guard. Their exoskeletons are so cool.
Purple-green. Shiny (a streak of white pixels across their bulbous shoulders). Protected by armor. No one can hurt them.
No one can hit them.//
The elevator is up ahead.
[[Elevator|elevator]]
######## elevator
You take the elevator to the top floor.
Vapor drifts through the glittering glass room. Beams of crystal light arc from spire to spire.
//These neon pink-crystal blue environments staring out over futuristic megacity grids and garishly colored oceans stirred something in your child's soul
--places that felt like night and rain and future--feelings you would later chase in clubs and raves and bars--but morning light stole that feeling every
time.//
You see the corporate vault to the [[east|inv]].
The control gem is to the [[north|gem]].
######## inv
All the wealth of PorpCo is inside this vault--various robo-chests, barrels, and crates bathed in blue light.
You see:
[[J-Chest-9]]
[[K-Chest-10]]
[[L-Chest-11]]
[[100 barrels of weaponized estrogen|estrogen]]
[[500 safety knives]]
[[Back|elevator]]
######## J-Chest-9
<<if $chest1 eq 0>>This chrome ivory chest contains $100,000.
<<set $cash = $cash + 100000>><<set $vaulted += 1>>
<<display "cash">><<set $chest1 = 1>><<else>>This chest is empty.<<endif>>
[[Back|inv]]
######## 500 safety knives
Crate after crate of safety knives.
<<if $knife eq 0>>[[Take safety knife|get knife]]
[[Back|inv]]<<else>>[[Back|inv]]<<endif>>
######## get knife
You snag one of the knives.
[[Nice|inv]]<<set $knife = 1>>
######## L-Chest-11
<<if $chest2 eq 0>>This obsidian manilla chest contains $500,000.
<<set $cash = $cash + 500000>><<set $vaulted += 1>>
<<display "cash">><<set $chest2 = 1>>
<<else>>This chest is empty.<<endif>>
[[Back|inv]]
######## estrogen
The estrogen barrels hiss with cool heat, filling the room with eery blue light. Your chest itches.
[[Back|inv]]
######## K-Chest-10
This robo-chest coos softly when you open it. What beautiful craftsmanship, all covered in galaxy enamel and space silk. You want to curl up inside it and
shut the lid, but...maybe another day.
[[Back|inv]]
######## gem
<<if $vaulted eq 2>>[[Destroy the Bio-Gem with the weaponized potassium|destroy]]<<else>>Better loot the vaults before blowing this place up.<<endif>>
[[Back|elevator]]
The Bio-Gem governs PorpCo in the absence of its mysterious CEOtrix. They say it was grown from her flesh, and is a perfect embodiment of her will.
//This information, gleaned in tantalizing nuggets from the manual, was something you thought about at night.//
######## destroy
//The Bio-Gem explodes, pixels spraying across the screen in frenzied depiction of what, presumably, a flesh gem looks like when it explodes--shimmering
bright glints of pink blue purple red--
The dialogue box pops up: "!!!"
But you don't hit Spacebar, because this way the animation loops forever and you can watch the pixels stream until they're just beautiful noise, a digital
fireplace, magical perma-violence, gorgeous, endless entropy--
[[Hit Spacebar]]//
######## Hit Spacebar
Running through the crumbling crashing skyscraper as statues tumble and chandeliers explode.
//Something weird up ahead. An enemy? The graphics are ambiguous. You move [[closer|weep enemy]], spurred on by rhythmically falling pieces of ceiling.
You wonder if the ceiling would crumble forever if you stood here.//
######## weep enemy
The tear elemental flows across the floor, moaning pitifully.
[[Run]]
<<if $knife eq 1>>[[Wield safety knife]]<<endif>>
######## Wield safety knife
You pull out the safety knife and <<replace "point it at the tear elemental.">>point it at the tear elemental.
The blade retracts. A soothing voice says, "For your safety."
You are holding a <<replace "handle.">>handle.
The tear elemental splashes closer!
[[Run]]<<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
######## Run
The tear elemental chases you through the exploding halls of PorpCo, glitter pumps spraying their contents as their hulls are breached.
The corporate fortress's traps are malfunctioning as their circuitry burns up--spike pits opening and shutting like inconstant fissures, laser turrets
spraying wildly.
[[Jump across a spike pit|spike]]
[[Lure the elemental in front of a laser turret|turret]]
######## turret
The turret hits the tear elemental!
The tear elemental is burning!
The tear elemental has disintegrated!
You catch a stray bolt to the <<if $gender eq "replicant">>data core!
You have lost 1 Major Memory and 3 Minor Memories.
<<else>>kidney!
You have lost 1 Kidney.<<endif>>
//Smoke and explosion graphics are everywhere. You're having trouble finding your avatar.
There seems to be some kind of exit at the end of the screen, but you're not sure if that's supposed to be the sky of the outside world or a painting or
just a boring wall tile or what.//
[[Rush toward the exit]]
######## Rush toward the exit
The skyscraper <<replace "explodes">>explodes.
//You have no idea if you skillfully made it just in time or whether the skyscraper is scripted to explode when you get outside.
You will <<replace "never know.">>////never know.//
Chunks of metal splash into the sea, sending up hissing spray. From the glittering ruins of the skyscraper emerges a spiraling <<replace "aero-centipede
.">>aero-centipede.
You watch it disappear into the <<replace "clouds.">>clouds.
Whatever. PorpCo's day will come.
[[Trek back to City|piss]]<<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<set $porp = 1>>
######## piss
//Gotta take a piss first.
You creep out into the [[hall]]. The bathroom door is open.//
######## hall
//On the way you pass their [[bedroom]]. The door is slightly open. It's dark inside.//
######## bedroom
//Those endless early days of lying on the floor of their bedroom, wrapped in blankets, head in the closet, smelling her shoes and his boots, cozy in the
mess of their grown-up clothes, falling asleep to the sound of the air conditioner.
The sunlight had a pure quality back then. Impossibly golden.
You don't know why they started hitting you. It just <<replace "happened.">>happened.
No one has to explain themselves to a <<replace "child.">>child.//
You don't go in there [[anymore]].<<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
######## anymore
//You piss and scurry back to the [[computer|control room]].//
######## spike
You leap over the spike pit!
//"Jump Roll Failed" pops up, barely visible through the soaring flames//
You fall into the spike pit!
A spike punctures your <<if $gender eq "replicant">>data core!
You have lost 1 Major Memory and 3 Minor Memories.
<<else>>kidney!
You have lost 1 Kidney.<<endif>>
You crawl out of the spike pit!
//Smoke and explosion graphics are everywhere. You're having trouble finding your avatar.
There seems to be some kind of exit at the end of the screen, but you're not sure if that's supposed to be the sky or a painting or just a boring wall
tile or what.//
[[Rush toward the exit]]
######## Shipwrecks
You shiver as skeletal financiers creep-clack from their ruined sea-palaces of financial failure and silently regard you. Do they wish to warn you, or do
they simply hunger for the aura of money that clings to your ripe, healthy body?
They do not move, even when the beach bees come to spin webs of honey in their ribcages.
[[Turn away from this ghastly sight|ride]]
######## deskinv
<<if $porp eq 1>>The desk contains:<<else>>The desk contains:
a [[gun|gundesk]]<<endif>>
a [[deskbrain]]
<<if $pass eq 0>>a [[PorpCo Pass]]
[[Back|control room]]<<else>>[[Back|control room]]<<endif>>
######## deskbrain
The deskbrain oozes. You feed it some candy from your pocket. Pink lobes close greedily around the candy, swallowing every sweet morsel with a grotesque
sucking sound.
[[Back|deskinv]]
######## PorpCo Pass
One of the notorious glittering corporations of the western seawall. Their security is top-notch--tearmoats, crystal beams, hormonal darts...
So you had your best drones forge a pass using the latest tech. Hope it works.
[[Take pass]]
[[Back|deskinv]]
######## Take pass
You snag the pass. Fancy shit, all holographic.
[[Cool|deskinv]]<<set $pass = 1>>
######## gundesk
You have killed many rival executives with this gun.
[[Back|deskinv]]
######## holo
<<if $porp eq 0>>OBJECTIVE: Destroy PorpCo HQ.
LAYOUT: PorpCo consists of a coastal skyscraper fortress surrounded by deadly traps and elite security.
METHOD: Weapons-grade potassium inserted into skyscraper's control gem.
APPROACH: Infiltration using stolen pass.<<set $plans = 1>><<else>>OBJECTIVE: Acquire 1 million dollars.<<endif>>
[[Back|control room]]
######## *bullet the Cop*
The Cop surges into the room, a wall of flowing muscle. You fire wildly into the rippling flood of millipedal biceps. Blood spatters the walls!
The Cop is still [[approaching]]!
######## approaching
BLAM BLAM BLAM
"Mind if I share my bullet-point presentation with you?"
Spent bullet casings litter the floor. Blood splashes onto the ceiling and drips all over your scalp! Blood splashes all over your pens!
<<if $challenge eq "NIGHTMARE">> The Cop screams and your eardrums burst!<<else>>The Cop eats a filing cabinet!<<endif>>
[[{RELOAD}]]
######## {RELOAD}
You grab a handful of bullets and cram them into the gun, wedging them into every crack and crevice.
BLAM BLAM BLAM
Blood spatters the desk! Blood spatters the potted cactus! Blood spatters the computer!
<<if $challenge eq "EASY">>The Cop's 27th heart explodes!<<endif>><<if $challenge eq "NIGHTMARE">>The Cop sprays you with poison! The Cop eats your
trophies!<<endif>><<if ($challenge neq "EASY") and ($challenge neq "NIGHTMARE")>>The Cop knocks over your diploma! The Cop knocks over your trophies! The
Cop is undermining your social standing!<<endif>>
The Cop is dripping blood and muscle fluid! The Cop is roaring! The Cop keeps [[coming]]!
######## coming
You mutter, "The last time I saw something with this many holes was when I was playing golf!"
BLAM BLAM BLAM
Blood spatters the carpet! Blood spatters the rhododendron calender! Blood spatters your shoes!
The Cop surges around the room in a circular path, spiraling closer and [[closer]]!
######## closer
BLAM BLAM BLAM
Blood spatters your face! Blood spatters your suit! Blood spatters your tie! Blood spatters your gun!
<<if $challenge eq "EASY">> The Cop's 17th heart explodes! The Cop's 14th heart explodes! The Cop's hind lungs explode!<<else>>The Cop's thigh
explodes!<<endif>>
The Cop screams and [[crashes]] through the window, muscles twitching out of control!
######## crashes
<<if $challenge eq "EASY">>You look down into the City below. The [[Cop|whew]] is lying in a pool of red blood and white muscle fluid. You suddenly crave
an Italian dish with both red and white sauce. You wonder if that's a taboo.<<else>>You look down into the City below. The [[Cop]] is lying in a pool of
red blood and white muscle fluid. You suddenly crave an Italian dish with both red and white sauce. You wonder if that's a taboo.<<endif>><<set $whew =
0>>
######## Cop
The Cop lashes out with tendrils, draining energy from its environment. Bystanders, dogs, cars, fire hydrants, garbage--all consumed in hungry
peristalsistic gulps. The Cop is reforming! The Cop is at 80 percent!
Surrender and go down to the [[Station]]?
Or keep [[fanning that hammer]]
######## fanning that hammer
The Cop crawls up through the jungle of skyscrapers, horrendous mirrored images of bloody chewed up muscle flesh reflecting from every window. You can
barely tell which is the real Cop, and which is illusory...
You fire wildly in this house of mirrors, shattering fake after fake Cop. You feel warm muscular breath on the nape of your neck...
[[YOU ARE DEAD]]
<<set $gameover = "THE COP HAS YOU">>
######## Station
The Station is massive, a smoking monolith. Cops disgorge themselves from pipes and flow into the City.
The Cop takes you to Booking. The materials in this environment are Stainless Steel, Glass, Fabric, and Concrete.
[[Time passes. Sweat sogs up your pits.]]
<<if $AttunedGlass eq 1>>[[Explode all the glass.]]<<endif>> <<if $AttunedCurtains eq 1>>[[Destroy all fabric in this zone.]]<<endif>>
######## Destroy all fabric in this zone.
Your clothes shred to 137 pieces! The Cop's uniform shreds to 23,532 pieces! The Station curtains resist!
You are no longer arrested. You are now [[Fleeing]].
######## Fleeing
You stagger through the city. God you stink of sweat you pathetic little toad...
Loudspeakers erected at intervals throb and pulsate, blaring wildly. Soundwaves like jagged black lightning bolts flash through the air.
"THE CRIMINAL IS AMONG US"
"THE CRIMINAL IS AMONG US"
"THE CRIMINAL IS AMONG US"
Cop cars bounce over an asphalt hill, slamming down skidding from side to side as huge Cop arms slap at the ground to make their cars go even faster.
The sewers [[beckon]]...
######## beckon
Cop cars root around the sewer mouth, sniffing and slobbering and struggling to crawl inside.
You try to remember your knowledge of the undercity...Subterranean Garbage Sea Zone I should be just [[south|thisaway]]...
######## thisaway
You come to the trash beach of a garbage sea. A [[gurgull]] eyes you suspiciously. Orange-purple sludge laps at your feet.
Various [[trash cans]] stick from the sludge like pillars from aluminum ruins.
A [[coracle]] is flipped over on the sand.
<<if $cop neq 3>>//'Cop Cars In Pursuit' flashes across the screen in big red letters.//<<endif>>
######## gurgull
A thin stream of watery vomit dribbles from the gurgull's bill. This is truly a healthy animal.
[[Back|thisaway]]
######## trash cans
A family of crabs is living inside this trash can! The matriarch clacks out a clear message: S T A Y A W A Y F R O M M Y Y O U N G
[[Back|thisaway]]
######## coracle
Even a cityslicker like you can sense the work that went into this coracle, the fine trashbeast leather stretched over hydrant-wood ribbing.
[[Flip it over]]
######## Flip it over
You come to the trash beach of a garbage sea. A [[gurgull|gurgulll]] eyes you suspiciously. Orange-purple sludge laps at your feet.
[[Trash cans|trash canz]] stick from the sludge like ancient ruins of aluminum.
A [[coracle|a fine coracle]] is on the beach.
[[USE coracle on ocean]]
######## gurgulll
A thin stream of watery vomit dribbles from the gurgull's bill. This is truly a healthy animal.
[[Back|Flip it over]]
######## trash canz
A family of crabs is living inside this trash can! The matriarch clacks out a clear message: S T A Y A W A Y F R O M M Y Y O U N G
[[Back|Flip it over]]
######## a fine coracle
Even a cityslicker like you can sense the work that went into this coracle, the fine trashbeast leather stretched over hydrant-wood ribbing.
[[Slap it affectionately|Flip it over]]
######## USE coracle on ocean
You bob away on the [[coracle|behind]].
Prismatic trash foam sprays across your bow, which on a coracle is probably its entire circumference. <<if $cop neq 3>>Police cars howl on the shore
behind you.<<endif>>
######## behind
You bob away on the coracle.
Prismatic trash foam sprays across your bow, which on a coracle is probably its entire circumference.<<if $cop neq 3>> Police cars howl on the shore
behind you.<<endif>>
You don't know where the trash winds will take you, but somehow you don't [[care]].
######## care
You bob away on the coracle.
Prismatic trash foam sprays across your bow, which on a coracle is probably its entire circumference.<<if $cop neq 3>> Police cars howl on the shore
behind you.<<endif>>
You don't know where the trash winds will take you, but somehow you don't care.
A [[song]] builds in your heart.
<<set $song = 0>>
######## song
<<set $song = $song + 1>><<if $song lte 10>>[[SING|song]]<<endif>>
<<if $song gt 0>>
Oh trash
<<endif>>
<<if $song gt 1>>
oh trash
<<endif>>
<<if $song gt 2>>
pungent panorama
<<endif>>
<<if $song gt 3>>
reeking horizon
<<endif>>
<<if $song gt 4>>
together we travel
<<endif>>
<<if $song gt 5>>
where oh we don't know where!
<<endif>>
<<if $song gt 6>>
You and me
<<endif>>
<<if $song gt 7>>
trash can't you see
<<endif>>
<<if $song gt 8>>
we were meant to be!
<<endif>>
<<if $song gt 9>>
to beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
<<endif>>
<<if $song gt 10>>
//As soon as you touch the horizon, the ocean screeches and jagged pulsating squares flood the screen.//
[[YOU ARE DEAD]]
<<set $gameover = "fatal error: error 0xFFFFFFFF">><<endif>><<set $trash_end = 1>><<if $prison_end eq 1>><<set $decompose = 1>><<endif>>
######## Time passes. Sweat sogs up your pits.
Take prisoner <<print $name>> to [[processing|PROCESSING]], a robotic voice murmur-shouts over the loudspeaker.
######## PROCESSING
<<if $gender eq "man">>The Cop comes and takes you to Processing. The Nurse enters the room. The Nurse shaves your chest. The Nurse shaves your face. The
Nurse shaves your genitals. The Nurse shaves your ass. The Nurse shaves your arms. The Nurse shaves your legs. The [[Nurse]] sprays you down with cold
water.<<endif>><<if $gender eq "woman">>The Cop comes and takes you to Processing. The Nurse enters the room. The Nurse shaves your belly. The Nurse
shaves your genitals. The Nurse shaves your ass. The Nurse shaves your arms. The Nurse shaves your legs. The [[Nurse]] sprays you down with cold
water.<<endif>><<if $gender eq "replicant">>The Cop comes and takes you to Processing. The Nurse enters the room. The Nurse scrubs your tertiary core. The
Nurse scrubs your secondary core. The Nurse scrubs your bio-sockets. The Nurse scrubs your artifice glands. The [[Nurse]] scrubs your verisimilitude
node.<<endif>>
######## Nurse
//Your legs squeeze together as the jagged nurse stands next to your avatar making a vague gesture over and over again.
Your avatar shivers. Their emotion bubble contains a question mark and tears. What [[next]]?//
######## next
The Nurse exits the room. You wax nostalgic over her angly jangly body and chiseled cheekbones...
The Cop comes to take you to your [[Cell|atmosphere]].
######## atmosphere
Rattle of the bars, hot spit on cold floor, disinfectant reek, overflowing toilets. The [[skylight]] is frosted opaque and dark with birds. Your [[Cell]]
is up ahead.
######## Cell
<<set $cell += 1>>[[Newspaper]] lines the room. Birdseed gets in your toes. The walls are covered in [[scratches]].
<<if $cell lte 4>>[[Wait|Cell]]<<endif>><<if $cell gte 5>>[[Wait|food]]<<endif>>
<<if $cell eq 2>>Your stomach growls.<<endif>><<if $cell eq 4>>
You pace restlessly.<<endif>>
######## Newspaper
"Teen thugs spraypaint the mayor..."
"Drug addicts are breaking into people’s homes and polishing their library cards to a lustrous finish..."
"Animals demand food..."
Headlines bleak as always. You shake your head at this fallen world.
[[Sigh.|Cell]]<<set $cell -= 1>>
######## scratches
the scratches read:
THIS CELL BELONG TO FLAPFLAP
[[Whatever.|Cell]]<<set $cell -= 1>>
######## food
The door hatch opens and a plate of food slides through.
[[FINALLY]]
######## FINALLY
What the [[hell]]?
######## hell
What the hell?
This is birdseed! Nothing on this plate but damn birdseed!
[[HEYYYYY]]
######## HEYYYYY
You hear an exasperated grunt on the other side of the door. "Problem, prisoner?"
[[THIS IS BIRDSEED|THIS IS BIRDSEED]]
[[Ahem my dear fellow this provender appears to be of the birdseed persuasion|THIS IS BIRDSEED]]
######## THIS IS BIRDSEED
He yells "Shut up, Flapflap."
[[I'm not Flapflap, there's been a big mistake!|FLAPFLAP?]]
[[WHO THE FUCK IS FLAPFLAP|FLAPFLAP?]]
######## FLAPFLAP?
<<set $cell1 = $cell1 + 1>><<if $cell1 lte 1>>They walk away.
[[Newspaper|Newzpaper]] lines the room. Birdseed in your toes. Walls covered in [[scratches|scratchez]].<<else>>[[Newspaper|Newzpaper]] lines the room.
Birdseed in your toes. Walls covered in [[scratches|scratchez]].<<endif>>
Plate of birdseed. Gross.
<<if $cell1 lte 4>>[[Wait|FLAPFLAP?]]<<endif>><<if $cell1 gte 5>>[[Wait|bangin]]<<endif>>
<<if $cell1 eq 2>>//You take off your glasses and rub the bridge of your nose. Your head hurts.
You wake up in the morning and turn on your computer and at the end of the day you turn it off and go to sleep. Your head hurts.
Your head hurts.//<<endif>><<if $cell1 eq 4>>Your avatar weeps and knocks the plate of birdseed aside.<<endif>>
######## scratchez
the scratches read:
THIS CELL BELONG TO FLAPFLAP
[[Whatever.|FLAPFLAP?]]<<set $cell1 = $cell1 - 1>>
######## bangin
//You run around the room but can't find anything. Is there some command you don't know about? Nothing seems to work.//
[[Search|prison]]
######## prison
//You can't find any way out of this prison.
You// [[keep]] //playing.//
######## keep
//You stare at the screen as your hunger bar slowly depletes.//
You starve to death.
[[YOU ARE DEAD]]
<<set $gameover = "STARVED TO DEATH BECAUSE YOU WERE FED BIRDSEED">><<set $prison_end = 1>><<if $trash_end eq 1>><<set $decompose = 1>><<endif>>
######## Newzpaper
"Teen thugs spray-paint the mayor..."
"Drug addicts are breaking into people’s homes and polishing their library cards to a lustrous finish..."
"Animals demand food..."
Headlines bleak as always. You shake your head at this fallen world.
[[Sigh.|FLAPFLAP?]]<<set $cell1 = $cell1 - 1>>
######## skylight
//This crude pixel window reminds you of your own window. You look over at it for a while, index finger idly tracing the mouse.
You don't get up, because then you would see the lawn, and beyond the lawn, the houses sprawling endlessly in every direction, a flat, cloned landscape
where nothing can surprise.
Sitting here on the floor rooted to the monitor by your mouse, there's just blue sky through half-drawn blinds and you can imagine you're floating above
<<replace "everything.">>everything.
<<replace "The game screeches.">>//The game screeches.
The guard throws your avatar inside a [[Cell]].//<<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
######## Explode all the glass.
The Station windows shatter! The Cop's glass pacemaker shatters! The glass of water on the reception desk resists!
You are no longer Arrested. You are [[Fleeing]].
######## whew
<<set $cop = 3>><<set $whew = $whew + 1>><<if $whew eq 1>>You return to your desk and put the gun back in the [[drawer|whew]].<<endif>><<if $whew eq 2>>
You return to your desk and put the gun back in the drawer.
From the street you hear the beautiful sound of money fluttering like paper doves from the disintegrating corpse of the cop. The money swirls through the
window and dances inside your [[wallet|whew]].<<endif>><<if $whew eq 3>>
You return to your desk and put the gun back in the drawer.
From the street you hear the beautiful sound of money fluttering like paper doves from the disintegrating corpse of the cop. The money swirls through the
window and dances inside your wallet.
Your retinal implants turn your irises to dollar signs for a few moments. Score! Kaching! [[Kachow!|whew]].
<<endif>><<if $whew eq 4>>
You return to your desk and put the gun back in the drawer.
From the street you hear the beautiful sound of money fluttering like paper doves from the disintegrating corpse of the cop. The money swirls through the
window and dances inside your wallet.
Your retinal implants turn your irises to dollar signs. Score! Kaching! Kachow!
Back in [[business!|office]]
<<set $cash = $cash + 100000>><<display "cash">><<endif>>
######## Embezzlertron
<<set $embezzle = $embezzle + 1>><<if $embezzle eq 1>>The massive golden machine rumbles as it siphons money from an illegal tap in the money pipes
running through the city. Suckers.
<<set $cash = $cash + 10000>><<display "cash">>
[[MORE|Embezzlertron]]
[[Back|office]]<<endif>><<if $embezzle eq 2>>The massive golden machine rumbles as it siphons money from an illegal tap in the money pipes running through
the city. Suckers.
<<set $cash = $cash + 10000>><<display "cash">>
[[MORE|Embezzlertron]]
[[Back|office]]<<endif>><<if $embezzle eq 3>>The massive golden machine rumbles as it siphons money from an illegal tap in the money pipes running through
the city. Suckers.
<<set $cash = $cash + 10000>><<display "cash">>
[[MORE|Embezzlertron]]
[[Back|office]]<<endif>><<endif>><<if $embezzle eq 4>>A knock on the door.
[[Shit]]<<set $cop = 1>><<endif>><<if $embezzle gt 4>>The machine wheezes but nothing comes out but a green mist of ghostly dollar signs.
[[Back|office]]<<endif>>
######## Shit
The door wobbles as knocks rampage through the woods pores. KNOCK KNOCK. KNOCK KNOCK.
"[[Come in!]]"
[[*silently open the drawer to your desk and cock the handgun inside*]]
<<set $AttunedGlass = 0>><<set $AttunedCurtains = 0>>
######## Come in!
The Cop barges through the door, squeezing its muscular form through the narrow doorframe.
The Cop flexes to form a temporary face of musculature (a diplomatic technique taught to most Cops except for desk jockies who don't need to mingle with
the public). Chemicals glisten from the throbbing, amorphous wall of muscle.
You learned Muscle in college. You understand the flex lingo and get the idea that you better come down to the [[Station]] or risk making a [[scene]].
######## scene
Your [[gun]] is in your luxury executive edition desk. Your gun is loaded.
Or you could [[charge the window with your gorgeous executive body and smash through the glass and feel the drapes caress your suited form as you soar to
the asphalt below|window]].
######## window
Interface with glass shards? Outcome: Unpredictable | Timestream ramification: 0-100% [[OK|intglass]]
Interface with curtains? Outcome: Acceptable | Timestream ramification: 73.5% [[OK|intcurtains]]
Interface with falling to death? Outcome: Terminal | Timestream ramification: 100% [[OK|intconcrete]]
######## intcurtains
You want to gag yourself with the curtains and hold yourself hostage. You want to wear the curtains as lingerie. You want to sell them for scrap metal and
cigarettes. You want to live.
Succumb to the dreadful impulse to [[live]], or free yourself through [[death]]?
######## live
You cling to the curtains as the City Street honks and beeps and thronges below you in a brawling, seething rush of cars and crowd. The sky is perfectly
blue. Birds flit across the yawing void, black dots like flies or dust.
The Cop hauls you back inside and takes you back to the [[Station]].
You are now Attuned to Fabric.
<<set $AttunedCurtains = 1>>
######## death
There is nothing particularly interesting about death.
[[YOU ARE DEAD]]
<<set $gameover = "AUTO-DEFENESTRATED">>
######## intconcrete
You bounce off the pavement. Your skull shatters! Your ribcage shatters! Your left little toe explodes!
A car is coming!
Click [[here]] to die.
######## here
A MERCILESS CAR HAS GROUND YOU UNDER ITS (W)HEEL. YOU ARE DRAGGED FOR MILES AND HAVE. NO SKIN. ONLY EXPOSED BONE. THE ASPHALT GRATES YOU LIKE CHEESE.
[[OH MY GOD|YOU ARE DEAD]]
<<set $gameover = "MURDERED BY CAR">>
######## intglass
Skin and blood forms a network with the glass shards. The Cop grapples you back into the room.
You are now Arrested. Your bloodstream is now 23 percent Glass Shard. You have now Attuned to Glass Shards.
The Cop is taking you back to the [[Station]].
<<set $Arrested = 1>>
<<set $AttunedGlass = 1>>
######## gun
You leap for your desk, grab the gun, and roll across the floor firing wildly into the rippling flood of millipedal biceps. Blood spatters the walls!
The Cop [[screams and charges|approaching]]!
######## *silently open the drawer to your desk and cock the handgun inside*
The gun is in your hand. The Cop slams open the door.
[[*bullet the Cop*]]
[[*bullet yourself*|suicide]]
[[*ram the window with your whole executive body and smash through the glass and feel the drapes caress your suited form as you soar to the asphalt
below*|window]]
######## suicide
<<replace "You look calmly at the Cop. "Hope you have jurisdiction in Hell."">>"Hope you have jurisdiction in Hell."
<<replace "Your teeth scrape along the barrel of the gun as you feed it into your mouth. You pull the trigger, painting the wall behind you a spectacular
shade of brain-blood-skull. Wow what a dripping, messy mess!">>Your teeth scrape along the barrel of the gun as you feed it into your mouth. You pull the
trigger, painting the wall behind you a particular shade of brain-blood-skull. Wow what a dripping, messy mess!
The Cop plants his mouth on your gaping wound hole, tongue flicking down your throat, dragging air up your ruined pipe. Whirling tongue gymnastics and
muscular air control techniques form a dazzling respiratory bridge between your throat and your brain. The Cop's saliva and meaty tongue and breath give
you horrible life. He carries you back to the Station, rooted to his mouth, sucking up his <<replace "Cop air.">>Cop air.
They won't let you die.
[[YOU ARE DEAD]]
<<set $gameover = "TURNED INTO COP SYMBIOTE">><<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
######## desk
You finger a business card from your luxurious collection:
<<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 6)>><<if $rand eq 0>>Liquid Flensed<<endif>><<if $rand eq 1>>Brushed<<endif>><<if $rand eq 2>>Laser-
Etched<<endif>><<if $rand eq 3>>Biomechanical<<endif>><<if $rand eq 4>>Mottled<<endif>><<if $rand eq 5>>Nano-Woven<<endif>><<if $rand eq
6>>Bleached<<endif>> <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 8)>><<if $rand eq 0>>Ivory<<endif>><<if $rand eq 1>>Obsidian<<endif>><<if $rand eq 2>>Gold
Leaf<<endif>><<if $rand eq 3>>Denim<<endif>><<if $rand eq 4>>Abalone<<endif>><<if $rand eq 5>>Neon<<endif>><<if $rand eq 6>>Sandstone<<endif>><<if $rand
eq 7>>Emerald<<endif>><<if $rand eq 8>>Diamond<<endif>> <<set $rand = Math.round(Math.random() * 8)>><<if $rand eq 0>>Chrome<<endif>><<if $rand eq
1>>Leather<<endif>><<if $rand eq 2>>Fossil<<endif>><<if $rand eq 3>>Steel<<endif>><<if $rand eq 4>>Eggshell<<endif>><<if $rand eq 5>>Seashell<<endif>><<if
$rand eq 6>>Ambergris<<endif>><<if $rand eq 7>>Crystal<<endif>><<if $rand eq 8>>Graphite<<endif>>
<<replace "Ahh.">>Simply divine.
[[Back|office]]<<endreplace>>
######## DIFFICULTY
<<set $difficulty = $difficulty + 1>><<if $difficulty eq 5>><<set $difficulty = 1>><<endif>>[[DIFFICULTY]]
<<if $difficulty eq 1>><<set $challenge = "NORMAL">>EASY
''[NORMAL]''
HARD
NIGHTMARE
<<endif>><<if $difficulty eq 2>><<set $challenge = "HARD">>EASY
NORMAL
''[HARD]''
NIGHTMARE<<endif>><<if $difficulty eq 3>><<set $challenge = "NIGHTMARE">>EASY
NORMAL
HARD
''[NIGHTMARE]''<<endif>><<if $difficulty eq 4>><<set $challenge = "EASY">>''[EASY]''
NORMAL
HARD
NIGHTMARE<<endif>>
<<if $challenge eq "NORMAL">>Enemies have regular HP. Bee AI set to Realistic.<<endif>><<if $challenge eq "HARD">>Enemies have 1.5x HP. Bee AI set to
Erratic.<<endif>><<if $challenge eq "NIGHTMARE">>Enemies have 2x HP. Bee AI set to Hell Mode. <<endif>><<if $challenge eq "EASY">>Enemies have 1/2 HP. Bee
AI set to Nice.<<endif>>
[[BACK|hub]]
<<set $optionsvisited = 1>>
######## STATS
[<<print $name>>'s Resume]
JUMP *
SWIM *
RANGED WEAPONS ***
MELEE WEAPONS *
HIRING **
FIRING ****
CORPORATE DUELING ETIQUETTE (KATANA) *
CORPORATE DUELING ETIQUETTE (VIRTUAL SIM) **
CORPORATE DUELING ETIQUETTE (HIGHWAY) ****
[[Back|hub]]
######## mistook
The Cops look suspicious!
The Cops sniff you!
The Cops hiss at you!
They grapple your body and drag you to the [[Station]]!
######## chef
Weapon Chef's grill chest flares occasionally with gouts of blue-red fire. Its iron face swivels and chants:
FILL MY CHEST WITH THINGS THAT KILL
AND I'LL COOK YOU CASH ON MY MAGIC GRILL
[[Leave this place|hub]]
<<if $weapon eq 1>>[[Hand over weapon|grill]]<<endif>>
######## grill
Weapon Chef tosses the weapon inside its <<replace "chest.">>chest.
Weapon Chef's eyes flash red! Smoke and fire shoots from its <<replace "belly!">>belly!
EXCELLENT CHOICE THIS WEAPON IS PERFECT
NOW WAIT A SECOND FOR ME TO SERVE IT
[[Wait]]<<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
######## Wait
PLEASE ENJOY THIS TASTY TREAT
OH SO SOUR OH SO SWEET
An Amber Gooeeeeeeey Bun pops out!
[[Eat Amber Gooeeeeeeey Bun|eat]]
######## eat
You chomp the sticky roll.
//The roll disappears and $100,000 appears in the form of a spinning green stack of bills. You run over and collect it before it disappears.//
<<set $weapon = 3>><<set $cash = $cash + 100000>><<display "cash">>
[[Nice|chef]]
######## down
//You don't know what a pussy looks like. You wouldn't learn that you could apply those words to your own genitals until much later. Right now you've got
nothing between your legs but a big blank space that you don't think about.//
The putrid smell of trash...
//You see the red-black-orange palette that signals the beginning of Subterranean Trash Zone II.//
A huge [[bootstrap]] lies torn in a trashheap. An abandoned [[robo-chest]] lies in the muck.
Bees swarm around the [[Bee Gate]] which leads to Underground Insect Zone XII.
Subterranean Trash Zone II spirals downward.
[[Return to the surface world|hub]]
[[Enter the Bee Gate]]
[[Delve deeper into Subterranean Trash Zone II|delve]]
######## robo-chest
"I used to store money and weapons. Now I store nothing but my own [[tears]]."
The robo-chest sinks further into the muck with a moan.
[[Back|down]]
######## tears
//You stare impassively at the [[blubbering]] cartoon chest.//
######## blubbering
//You cry most days. You've been crying for years. There is no novelty, no shock, no <<replace "outrage.">>outrage.
It's just <<replace "weather.">>weather.
She got the worst of it <<replace "though.">>though.
The permanent bags under her eyes that would never leave her as long as she lived, purple and <<replace "haunted.">>haunted.
[[The first born.|down]]//<<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
######## Enter the Bee Gate
<<if $challenge eq "NORMAL">>
The Bee Swarm buzzes threateningly.
[[Back away|down]]<<endif>><<if $challenge eq "HARD">>
//The Bee Swarm is rushing back and forth erratically but you start to discern a pattern. You dash past the yellow/black cloud of droning pixels, dust
animations popping up in your wake.//
[[The Insect Zone is just on the other side|Insect Zone]]<<endif>><<if $challenge eq "NIGHTMARE">>
//The Bee Swarm attacks!
Red numbers fountain through the air like numericized blood. You desperately hammer the arrow keys but you can't move fast enough and now you're poisoned,
palette swapped to green, and--//
[[YOU ARE DEAD]]<<set $gameover = "DESTROYED BY BEE SWARM">><<endif>><<if $challenge eq "EASY">>
//Little hearts bubble from the bees when you're near but they don't move. You try to jump over them but your jump comes just a few pixels short.//
[[Back away|down]]<<endif>>
######## Insect Zone
Sentinel hives buzzing with robo-hornets...
Swarms of neon swamp ants glowing through gaps in the biomechanical floor plating...
Subterranean Insect Zone XII.
Behind some molted cicada-bot skins, you find <<if $bugchest eq 0>><<replace "a mound of bug dirt.">>a Golden Bug Chest!
[[Open Bug Chest|bug chest]]<<endreplace>><<else>>a Golden Bug Chest.
[[Open Bug Chest|bug chest]]<<endif>>
[[Back through the Bee Gate|down]]
######## bug chest
<<if $bugchest eq 1>>The Golden Bug Chest has been looted. A family of tangletweeps has taken up residence inside. They stare at you sleepily, blinking
stamens.
[[Back|Insect Zone]]<<endif>><<if $bugchest eq 0>>You kick the chest's unlocking medallion and the zig-zagging runes on the side coruscate with white
light. The chest opens to <<replace "reveal...">>reveal...
...a Cat AI!
You add the Cat AI to your inventory. It meows algorithmically.
[[Back|creak]]<<set $bugchest = 1>><<endreplace>><<endif>>
######## creak
//Your door creaks.
[[Jerk your head around|sister]]//
######## sister
//Your big sister is watching you from the dark of the hallway. When you look back at her, she leans against the doorframe and yawns.
"Still playing? I got bored."
[[It's a good game.|good]]
[[Shut up.|shut up]]
[[I'm trying to get a million dollars.]]//
######## good
//"It's frustrating, you die all the time for no reason. And it's a buggy piece of shit."
She rubs her face.
"You, uh, wanna do anything? I was going somewhere soon, so maybe we should, hang out or something."
[[I need to beat this game.|beat]]
[[Where you going?|going]]
[[I'm tired...|tired]]//
######## tired
//She looks at you.
"One day you'll wish you spent more time with me."
[[Okay.]]//
######## Okay.
//She's still looking at you.
[[Look away.|mad]]
[[Tap keyboard impatiently.|mad]]
[[Stare at ceiling.|mad]]//
######## mad
//"Remember how mad you'd get at that one game? For the N64? How I helped you get past those parts?"
[[Sure.|time]]//
######## time
//"I...really liked spending that time with you."
[[Okay.|i forgot her anyways]]//
######## i forgot her anyways
//She fidgets, then crosses the room and grabs her backpack.
She throws some stuff inside and turns to leave. Her blue-grey eyes linger on every contour of your <<replace "face.">>face.
She <<replace "starts to say something.">>looks away.
She goes out into the hall and the bathroom door shuts and you hear the shower start.
[[Turn back to game|Insect Zone]]//<<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
######## beat
//She looks at <<replace "you.">>you.
"One day you'll wish you spent more time with me."
[[Okay.]]//<<endreplace>>
######## going
//"...a friend's house." She stares at her feet.
[[I need to beat this game.|beat]]
[[I'm tired...|tired]]//
######## shut up
//She scowls.
Then she just looks tired.
"You, uh, wanna do anything? I was going somewhere soon, so maybe we should, hang out or something."
[[I need to beat this game.|beat]]
[[Where you going?|going]]
[[I'm tired...|tired]]//
######## I'm trying to get a million dollars.
//She laughs.
"Cool. Get your million videogame dollars."
Her brow creases suddenly.
"You, uh, wanna do anything? I was going somewhere soon, so maybe we should, hang out or something."
[[I need to beat this game.|beat]]
[[Where you going?|going]]
[[I'm tired...|tired]]//
######## bootstrap
Valuable find, but you'd need some kind of vehicle to haul it up. You caress the scored leather with regret.
[[Back|down]]
######## delve
//Pixel skeletons and stink lines. Repeating heaps of jagged trash chaos. You carefully navigate your character past gurgling pools of <<replace "toxic
slime.">>toxic slime. One hit kill.<<endreplace>>//
Garbage cans rain from the humid cavesky, an endless cascade of banging metal.
The trash down here is mutated, arcane, hyper-dense.
<<if $punch eq 1>>[[Up|down]]
[[A smog-shrouded fortress to the east|trash1]]
[[Pools of trash bubble to the west|trash2]]
[[Sludge catacombs to the south|thataway]]<<else>>[[Up|move]]
[[A smog-shrouded fortress to the east|move]]
[[Pools of trash bubble to the west|move]]
[[Sludge catacombs to the south|move]]<<endif>>
######## trash2
[[Trash Fish]] is swimming through trash.
<<if $vase eq 0>>A [[priceless vase]] has fallen here from the surface world. It must have seeped through the trash ceiling somehow.<<else>>Orange fluid
condenses and drips from the garbage ceiling.<<endif>>
[[Return|delve]]
######## Trash Fish
"All I care about is trash!"
//Trash Fish is a blue-green blob of jagged scales. You know Trash Fish because Trash Fish is one of the creatures on the cover of the game box. Hadn't
seen it until now though.
You wonder if all those creatures made it into the game or if some of them are trapped forever in the cover art, never given their own code.//
[[Back|trash2]]
######## priceless vase
//The vase description says "A clay vase from the pre-disaster era, ornamented with bands of green mica." It sparkles. Does clay sparkle? Guess all
precious things in this game sparkle.//
A precious vase poking up from the garbage.
[[Smash vase]]
[[Back|trash2]]
######## Smash vase
<<set $cash = $cash + 50000>><<set $vase eq 0>>SMASH
//The vase shatters. After a few seconds the shards flash and disappear. $50,000 pops out.//
<<display "cash">><<set $vase = 1>>
Many a capitalist made their start by smashing up random objects.
[[Back|trash2]]
######## move
//You start to [[move|punch]] in that direction and--//
######## punch
<<set $punch = 1>>//Someone <<replace "punches your door">>punches your door and walks down the <<replace "hallway.">>hallway.
The heavy tread of boots is fading.
You stay perfectly still as the ridiculous videogame music fills the interval between the hard slam of the door and when your heart slows down <<replace
"again.">>again.
Your fingers stir, automatic, unthinking, filling the WASD, thumb on Spacebar, and [[shapes|delve]] on the screen start moving and making
sounds.//<<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
######## trash1
<<set $skel = $skel + 1>>The [[Garbage Fortress]] looms high in the fume-shrouded trash peaks. Corrugated battlements are hung with the ragged [[banners]]
of whatever faction is currently controlling it.
<<if $skel eq 1>>Skelegroans are patrolling.<<endif>><<if $skel eq 2>>Skelegroans are inspecting the trash pipes.<<endif>><<if $skel eq 3>>Skelegroans are
building war machines to assault the surface.<<endif>><<if $skel eq 4>>Skelegroans are playing hopscotch.<<endif>><<if $skel eq 5>>Skelegroans are
gambling to pass the time.<<endif>><<if $skel eq 6>>Skelegroans are squabbling over rules!<<endif>><<if $skel eq 7>>Skelegroans have murdered each
other!<<endif>>
You see a Gut Chest beyond the <<if $skel lt 8>>Skelegroans<<else>>remains of the Skelegroans.<<endif>>
<<if $skel lte 7>>[[Wait|trash1]]<<endif>>
<<if $skel lt 7>>[[Fight Skelegroans]]<<else>>[[Open Gut Chest]]<<endif>>
[[Return|delve]]
######## banners
//A cute skull full of worms on a green background.//
Skelegroans rule the roost. Before that, Pufflings, and before that, Gust Hounds. An endless cycle. If they ever set aside their differences, the surface
world is in big trouble.
[[Back|trash1]]
######## Open Gut Chest
<<if $gutchest eq 1>>The Gut Chest pukes up a thin stream of vomit. The vomit cannot be monetized.<<else>>You slap the Gut Chest and it pukes out
$100,000. You insert the slimy cash into your wallet.<<set $cash = $cash + 100000>>
<<display "cash">><<set $gutchest = 1>><<endif>>
[[Back|trash1]]
######## Garbage Fortress
//The fortress doesn't actually seem accessible. Just an animated background. Great parallax scrolling on those trash mountains though.//
[[Back|trash1]]
######## Fight Skelegroans
The Skelegroans swiftly surround and beat you with their skull sticks and bone-maces. Blood explodes from your head and belly!
//You try to escape but one of them keeps hitting you with its shield and stunning you. You slam the keyboard but nothing happens.//
[[YOU ARE DEAD]]
<<set $gameover = "MURDERED BY SKELEGROAN MOB">>
######## thataway
Venerable sludge monks embalmed in garbage line the rows of this ancient and sacred place. Up ahead you spot a reliquary enshrining a [[trash saint]].
[[Pray]]
[[Desecrate]]
[[Back|delve]]
######## trash saint
A slimy glass box with a trash saint's weird skull inside. Trash gems have been socketed into its forehead, representing their connection to the great
trash-mind.
Your grandparents used to believe in trash. Now trash swirls aimlessly through the streets, stepped on, ignored, no temples to shelter their once-sacred
forms.
[[Focus, focus...|thataway]]
######## Desecrate
<<replace "You are struck down for this desecration!">>You are struck down for this desecration!
<<replace "Your body becomes trash! Rotten egg yolk and rancid fat bubbles from your body!">>Your body becomes trash! Rotten egg yolk and rancid fat
bubbles from your body!
<<replace "You become part of the trashscape.">>You become part of the trashscape.
[[YOU ARE DEAD]]
<<set $gameover = "TURNED INTO TRASH FOR YOUR DESECRATION">><<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
######## Pray
The trash saint opens its eyelids to reveal black holes. Parasitic stalks extend from the sockets and probe your face.
Your garbage brain is opened. You sense all trash in the city, a humid network of impossible power. You are becoming one with the trash.
//Your avatar fades from existence.//
[[YOU ARE DEAD]]
<<set $gameover = "TRASHMERGING IS INCOMPATIBLE WITH CAPITALISM">>
######## Bee Gate
//One of your earliest memories is being stung by a bee and sitting by the sink holding your arm under the cold water.
At the time it was the worst pain you could imagine.//
The Bee Gate is a pair of bulbous pillars striped yellow and black, set in a riveted foundation of metallic golden honeycomb.
They say bees hang out here.
[[Back|down]]
######## about zone
//You remember looking up Subterranean Trash Zone II on the internet. People say you can see a girl's pussy there.
You spent a lot of time just reading those words.//
[[Back|hub]]
######## onward
CONGRATULATIONS <<print $name>>
NUMBER ONE CEO
PLEASE TRY OUR OTHER BUSINESS TYCOON GAMES
//People are [[yelling]] in your parent's bedroom.//
######## yelling
//You hear your sister's footsteps, that you could never mistake for another, creep down the hall and into the kitchen, where you listen to the scrape of
a Spaghettio can being removed from a crowded cabinet full of other cans, and placed in her backpack, then the zip of her backpack, the pause as she ties
her shoes, and the soft sound of the backyard screen door closing as she goes around the side to avoid using the big creaky front door, because no one
wants to be the focus of attention when the yelling <<replace "stops.">>stops.
You are a cringing spider and this house is your shitty web. Your senses are fine-tuned to arguments, icy silence, and <<replace "violence.">>violence.
You stare at the victory screen, green light reflected on your <<replace "glasses.">>glasses.
Through a sliver in the blinds you watch your sister cross the <<replace "street.">>street.
You start a [[new game]].//<<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
######## new game
<<replace ".">><<replace ". .">>[[. . .|it is done]]<<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
######## it is done
//for the ones i left behind
i didn't forget about [[you|again]]//
######## again
//but i never thought i'd see you [[again|you]].//
######## you
//but years later we found each other and
you texted me a <<replace "drawing">>drawing
[img[http://aliendovecote.com/uploads/twine/tycoon/aviary-head.jpg]]
[img[http://aliendovecote.com/uploads/twine/tycoon/aviary-body.jpg]]
"I guess the meaning behind this is that the aviary girl here wants to be 'normal'. She's ripping out her feathers, in symbolism with what makes her
unique, killing herself softly, shutting down her connection with the sky, drowning her memories of the view of the churning blending of sky meeting sea."
it's such a good drawing
and we talked for hours after and i was holding the phone thinking what a perfect cool kind empathic genius my little sister had become. i'm so glad
you're my [[sister|feathers]]. <3//<<endreplace>><<endreplace>>
######## feathers
//i just want you to know
i've stopped tearing out my feathers//
######## replace
version.extensions['replaceMacro'] = {major:1, minor:0, revision:0};
macros['replace'] = {
handler: function (g, e, f, b) {
var h = insertElement(null, "div", null, "replacement");
var k = b.source.indexOf('>>', b.matchStart) + 2;
var a = b.source.slice(k);
var d = -1;
var c = '';
var l = 0;
for(var i = 0; i < a.length; i++) {
if(a.substr(i, 14) == '<<endreplace>>') {
if(l == 0) {
d = k + i + 14;
break;
}
else {
l--;
c += a.charAt(i);
}
}
else {
if(a.substr(i, 9) == '<<replace') {
l++;
}
c += a.charAt(i);
}
}
if(d != -1) {
var m = Wikifier.createInternalLink(g,null);
m.className="internalLink replaceLink";
insertText(m,f[0]);
insertText(h,c);
g.appendChild(h);
h.style.display = "none";
m.onclick = function() {
var n = this.nextSibling;
if (n) {
var t = n.firstChild ?n.firstChild.nodeValue : "";
removeChildren(n);
new Wikifier(n,t);
n.style.display = "inline";
fade(n, { fade: "in" });
}
this.parentNode.removeChild(this);
}
b.nextMatch = d;
}
else {
throwError(g, "can't find matching endreplace");
delete h;
return;
}
}
}
macros['endreplace']={handler: function () {} }
######## Timer Addon
<<silently>>
<<set $TimerAddon =
function()
{
var div_timer_container = document.createElement('div');
div_timer_container.setAttribute('id', 'timer');
var div_timer_canvas = document.createElement('canvas');
div_timer_canvas.setAttribute('id', 'timer_canvas');
div_timer_canvas.setAttribute('width', '0');
div_timer_canvas.setAttribute('height', '0');
div_timer_canvas.width = div_timer_canvas.width;
div_timer_container.appendChild(div_timer_canvas);
var div_timer_text = document.createElement('span');
div_timer_text.setAttribute('id', 'timer_text');
div_timer_text.innerHTML = "";
div_timer_container.appendChild(div_timer_text);
var Timer_Active = false;
var Timer_Paused = false;
var Timer_Mode = 'none';
var Timer_Param = "";
var Timer_Max = 0;
var Timer_Now = 0;
var div_jonah_floater = document.getElementById('floater');
if(div_jonah_floater) div_jonah_floater.appendChild(div_timer_container);
var div_sugarcane_menu = document.getElementById('sidebar');
if(div_sugarcane_menu) div_sugarcane_menu.appendChild(div_timer_container);
function StartTimer(val)
{
Timer_Active = true;
Timer_Paused = false;
Timer_Max = val;
Timer_Now = val;
div_timer_text.style.display = 'block';
div_timer_canvas.style.display = 'block';
}
function StopTimer()
{
Timer_Active = false;
div_timer_text.style.display = 'none';
div_timer_canvas.style.display = 'none';
}
function PauseTimer()
{
Timer_Paused = true;
}
function ResumeTimer()
{
Timer_Paused = false;
}
function SetTimerText(text)
{
div_timer_text.innerHTML = text;
}
function SetTimerMode(mode)
{
if(mode == 'display')
{
Timer_Mode = 'display';
}
else if(mode == 'restart')
{
Timer_Mode = 'restart';
}
else Timer_Mode = 'none';
}
function SetTimerParam(param)
{
Timer_Param = param;
}
function OnTimerEnd()
{
StopTimer();
if(Timer_Mode == 'restart')
{
state.restart();
if(Timer_Param) alert(Timer_Param);
window.location.reload(true);
}
else if(Timer_Mode == 'display')
{
state.display(Timer_Param[0]);
}
}
function OnTimerTick()
{
if(Timer_Active && !Timer_Paused)
{
Timer_Now = Timer_Now - 0.2;
if(Timer_Now <= 0) Timer_Now = 0;
var context = div_timer_canvas.getContext("2d");
div_timer_canvas.width = div_timer_canvas.width;
var x = div_timer_canvas.width / 2;
var y = div_timer_canvas.height / 2;
var radius = 1;
var startAngle = 1.5 * Math.PI;
var endAngle = (1.5 + (2 / Timer_Max * Timer_Now)) * Math.PI;
var counterClockwise = false;
context.beginPath();
context.arc(x, y, radius, startAngle, endAngle, counterClockwise);
context.lineWidth = 15;
if(div_jonah_floater) context.strokeStyle = "#FF00FF";
if(div_sugarcane_menu) context.strokeStyle = "#BBBBBB";
context.stroke();
context.font = 'bold 30px sans-serif';
if(div_jonah_floater) context.fillStyle = "#FF00FF";
if(div_sugarcane_menu) context.fillStyle = "#BBBBBB";
context.fillText(Timer_Now.toFixed(1), 55, 85);
if(Timer_Now <= 0) OnTimerEnd();
}
}
setInterval(function(){ OnTimerTick(); }, 100);
macros['start_timer'] =
{
handler: function(obj, fnc, val)
{
StartTimer(val);
}
}
macros['stop_timer'] =
{
handler: function(obj, fnc, val)
{
StopTimer();
}
}
macros['pause_timer'] =
{
handler: function(obj, fnc, val)
{
PauseTimer();
}
}
macros['resume_timer'] =
{
handler: function(obj, fnc, val)
{
ResumeTimer();
}
}
macros['set_timer_text'] =
{
handler: function(obj, fnc, val)
{
SetTimerText(val);
}
}
macros['set_timer_mode'] =
{
handler: function(obj, fnc, val)
{
SetTimerMode(val);
}
}
macros['set_timer_param'] =
{
handler: function(obj, fnc, val)
{
SetTimerParam(val);
}
}
}
>>
<<print $TimerAddon()>>
<<endsilently>>
######## StoryAuthor
[[Porpentine Educational Computing Consortium|http://aliendovecote.com]]
######## css
html{background-color:#1E2D37;!important}
#floater {visibility:hidden;background-color:; !important}
h2{color:black; font-size:48px; !important}
h1{font-family: 'Open Sans'!important; ;color:orange;font-weight:bold;text-shadow: 6px 4px #1E2D37;}
.toolbar a{visibility:hidden;}
.body{font-size:22px; color:white;!important;=font-family:'Open Sans';}
a.internalLink,a.externalLink,a.back,a.return{color:#E6B677;font-weight:bold;text-decoration:none;text-align:left;font-size:120%}
a.internalLink:hover,a.externalLink:hover,a.back:hover,a.return:hover{color:orange;text-decoration:none;text-align:left;}
#footer{visibility:hidden;}
.title {visibility:hidden; !important;}
#storyAuthor {visibility:hidden; margin:0em; !important}
#storyTitle {visibility:hidden;color:#8F979C; margin-bottom:0em; !important;}
h3 {margin-bottom:0em; !important}
@media screen and (max-width: 960px) {
body { font-size: 50%; }
}
@media screen and (max-width: 840px) {
body { font-size: 40%; }
}
@media screen and (max-width: 720px) {
body {
font-size: 30%;
}
}
.passage {background-color:#517894;-moz-border-radius: 25px;
border-radius: 25px;border-width:6px;border-color:white;font-family:'Open Sans'!important;padding:30px; !important;line-height:175%; padding-top:10px;
margin-top:0px;
}
body {color:white;background-color:#1E2D37;font-size:80%;padding-bottom:50px;padding-top:0px!important;font-family:'Open Sans';}
em {color:#04243A;}
#content2 {background-color:#1E2D37 !important;}
#passages {
border-left: 0;
margin: 0;
padding: 0;
line-height:100vh;
}
img { display: block;
margin-left: auto;
margin-right: auto }