Imagine being a straight white guy. How do you feel about
nail shops? Theres quite a few guys who feel comfortable
in that setting, but theres many who are not. It's alien,
isnt it? There's staff, regulars. Banter. It's a culture,
almost. It smells weird, you probably dont speak the
language, and you have pretty much no control over the
social order. There's gels, there's shellac, theres
acrylics, theres pink and white, and so much acetone and
nail polish you're going to get a contact high. Ladies are
trying to convince you to get your nails done. Being
straight, white, and male puts you pretty much in the
minority. People can talk all kinds of shit about you -
not that you're really worth the time, but you have that
loss of power. I really want you to think about that
feeling. Anyone can make fun of you, and pretty much
everyone else will back them up. Even the men at the
salon! That feeling is super important, because it's a
feeling many women understand walking into gaming cultures
in general, and especially the FGC.
Note, I'm going to use the word "you" a lot. I'm not a
writer, blogger, or anything other than somebody with an
opinion with arguments. The word "you", may not apply at
all to you, the reader. Of course, there's also a pretty
chance that when I say "You", even if you think I'm not
talking about you, I totally am. I'm going to criticize
generalizations a lot, while at the same time using this
all encompassing term; "you". Try to keep your whitey
tighties on.
Women in the fighting game scene are a minority to the
extent you have to understand that when you're shitting on
random girl #9 for not playing and having opinions, you're
affecting all women in the community. How do you know
that's random girl #9? Maybe she's someone who actually
knows what she's talking about, or does well? People apply
these prejudices to others. People take this attitude
because some person in some community somewhere did
something, and there's collateral damage. "Pro hoes" is a
concept that seems to just be, hey a girl had sex. That
almost never happens!!! There's a few specific things I'm
referencing I dont want to dredge up, but if youve
followed how everything's progressed you should have a
couple ideas. I hear all the shit you people say to girls
who dont play. The stuff you say to X girl for Y reason is
the exact same shit I hear. I've been told I'm a fake
gamer looking for male attention. Seriously, that's
completely fucking ridiculous. By kids who were busy being
incubated when I was playing Rush'n'Attack. We've since
ironed it over, but I made a self deprecating joke "I dont
know anything about this game!" when commentating, I dunno
it was like Honda vs Guy or something. I dont fking know
that matchup, and neither do you, LETS BE REAL. When I say
it, ppl make fucking videos about it. I've ironed that
situation out like I said, but the issue is the
preconception where you so readily accept I dont know what
the fuck I'm talking about. It's getting asked repeatedly,
"So whose your boyfriend?". Do you know what it's like to
play a good player - for real, a good player - and being
told the whole morrigan doom fireball thing wasnt going to
work and I should switch to sentinel. This is after Chris
G started his reign of terror, and neither performing nor
demonstrating knowledge and understanding of tech
mattered. What mattered is finding a video of a dude doing
it, then I get patronizingly how to understand it. Do you
know how patronizing dudes are? Over video games? To
women? Who beat them? And you expect them to play?
I've been fortunate enough to grow up with Street Fighter.
It holds a lot of nostalgia. I was also lucky in that I
was very young when I become 'initiated'. I cared about
the franchise and really wanted to succeed and that drove
me through much of the early hazing. I cared about
fighting games enough to get serious with Tekken 5 in 2007
and went through a lot of stuff women picking up the game
will deal with; exclusion, patronizing, threats, misogyny,
sexual harassment, etc. To be honest, I handled myself
pretty well, but I also had certain advantages. For one,
I've been playing video games before a bunch of yall were
born. Most women may not have that advantage. But you
know? What if that was just a random girl. Do you think
they'd stick around after having someone throw a punch at
them, telling them not to speak up(EVEN WHEN YOU BODY THIS
PERSON), or have weird ugly creepy guys trying to set up
three ways between you and their gross ass and "they knew
a girl". What if that wasnt me? What if the women youre
judging have had experiences like that or worse? Does that
justify people acting out? No. You still dont have the
entitlement to judge her in this community. Why do you
want to be another brick in the wall? Do you NOT want
women in the community? If you do, you're going to have to
make concessions. Maybe skip every other usage of the word
bitch, maybe write "get raped" out of your vocabulary. Pro
ho too, fuck that shit. If a girl is sleeping with a
player, well humans are humans surprise surprise. Guess
what? She can pick up a stick. She can ask questions. She
can watch videos, she can learn, but if you've already
labeled her as a non playing fake gamer attention whore...
Or, not even you. Maybe someone else did. SURELY someone
else did. Do you think that's going to make her want to
play? Can you blame her? I see lots of people blaming
women. They want a group that's safe where they can talk
about... shit that they wanna talk about without assholes
telling them theyre wrong? I completely empathize with
that 100%. If they wanna talk about how cute Kobuns are,
whos got the smallest dick, or how to do sword loops or
danmaku, great for everyone. It's not in your face to
insult your sensibilities, and it's also not really about
you.
I understand the appeal of the FGC to the dudes who are
misogynistic and etc etc. Youre a bunch of guys with
extended boyhoods - I've got an extended childhood through
games too, so im not judging.. yet - who are looking for a
safe place to basically let your less savory personality
traits out loose and wild. It's an outlet, insulated from
women, and I believe I see a lot of frustrations. Kind of
a fight club sort of therapy with the stresses in life,
and unfortunately a lot of that manifests itself
misogynistically. I'm not perfect. When I was younger, I
dated a guy and in our nerd culture, I shared his really
toxic attitude towards women. So, actually, I participated
in the misogyny by creating these ridiculous constructions
in my head that judged the worth of a person by a metric
based off things I was particularly good at, and I really
missed a lot of opportunities to make friends and I'm
honestly kind of disgusted with myself. Who cares if
someone's a slut? What did it really take away from my
enjoyment of the game? I was looking for approval,
shamefully I admit, and eventually I came to realize how
horribly wrong I was. Maybe I found someone personally
annoying, but that doesnt justify being a little
machiavelli about it and vilifying other women because in
the context of the game I was a stronger player. It's hard
enough without ripping at each others throats, and I see
plenty of women calling each other bitches and whores and
I dont get it. With grit, determination, and some
semblance of solidarity(not saying you gotta be BFFs) the
image of women in the scene can be reversed, although
there will undoubtably be numerous conflicts along the
way. I'm still making mistakes, I'm human, and I'm sorry
for those in my past I havent done the best by. It's not
hopeless.
The advantage that women have in the community is
visibility and increased access that comes associated with
said visibility. Intrinsically, this is also probably the
biggest single disadvantage, because of shitlord fedoras
and neckbeards looking for any chance they can to
discredit you; and holy shit will they leap on it. Not
even talking about myself, any lady whos been around for a
few years knows what I'm talking about. Dudes dont. They
dont realize what theyre doing half the time, I think? Be
aware.
My newsfeed is full of stuff like this: "THESE BITCHES IN
THE FGC BE LIKE..." "THESE FEMALES SURPRISED WHEN..." ...
Here is a novel and hopefully constructive idea: refocus
the conversation away from portraying women negatively,
and instead encourage those women who are succeeding.
Provide visibility and dont reduce it to 'white
knighting', if at the very least to give women someone
they identify with. Helps very much with a sense of
belonging. Chances are, you have dudes you can relate to!
hooray! Maybe your girlfriend doesnt. Maybe all the
vitriol is a bit too intimidating.
I am just one person. I'm one face, one opinion. I've
spoken with other women in the scene, and there's a lot of
similarities with their experiences with men(Kill all
men). Talk to them; listen. If you're a straight guy,
think about being in that nail shop, and being
uncomfortable, and at the mercy of possibly getting
verbally chopped up for the amusement of patrons and
staff. Dont make women feel like that. And dont be afraid
of nail shops either, I'm just playing on preconceptions
and common fears to illustrate a point about respecting
the women in the scene. Besides, if youre in the FGC you
probably need it. Nerds and neckbeards, ew gross. Tip your
tech.
Women are a bunch of pro hoes and non players looking fr
male attention and approval? Fuck what you heard, you were
lied to. Lets see some man-eaters here. At any time, any
girl could randomly be possessed of the fire and passion
to grind it out, rise above, and regulate the competition.
Could be anyone, you never know what tomorrow is going to
be like. Still, though, guys? It wont be because you
called her a pro ho whore and she fucked EG/EMP/PA/CTRl|
McProguy and it went up on Kappa. I hope in 2014 we see
some ladies rustle some jimmies and we can collectively
dam all the little baby tears, evaporate it, and shake the
salt wherever we walk. I'm not sure who's with me, but I'm
ready to conquer.
signed
_______________