I read http://blog.hubspot.com/blog/tabid/6307/bid/34170/16-marketing-pick-up-lines-to-snag-your-next-hot-date-ecards today.
My retort;
> You make me wanna pretend it's 2003 again. Let's reciprocal link
> Are you linkbait? Cos you sure got my attention. :/
> Matt Cutts must really like your dress. It's got some really great content.
> You must have a PR5 blog because I'd really like to put something into your niche
> I wish you had a robots.txt file. I need to know what parts of you I can crawl.
> Are those real? You're getting close to an over optimization penalty.
> Would you like a drink, beverage, booze, refreshment, alcoholic product, something to imbibe?
> Now I've met you, other women are like a top ranking on Bing. I just don't care.
> Is your name Google Penguin? When you showed up in my life, you knocked me right down.
> Do your breasts have Twitter? I wanna find them later for some outreach
> I'm excellent at linkbaiting my penis. The clinic told me it went viral.
> Your bed must have a high domain authority because I'm sure it gets a lot of visitors
> How would you like to be treated like Google treats duplicate content? Penalized.
> Girl, you need to bring down your keyword density. "Damn fine" is close to 100%.
> Are you a $5 article cos I really wanna give you a spin?
> Your body must be using blackhat techniques on me. I've shot up faster than naturally possible. And you're going to get penalized...
I speak fluent douchebag.