1. I read http://blog.hubspot.com/blog/tabid/6307/bid/34170/16-marketing-pick-up-lines-to-snag-your-next-hot-date-ecards today.
  2.  
  3. My retort;
  4.  
  5. > You make me wanna pretend it's 2003 again. Let's reciprocal link
  6.  
  7. > Are you linkbait? Cos you sure got my attention. :/
  8.  
  9. > Matt Cutts must really like your dress. It's got some really great content.
  10.  
  11. > You must have a PR5 blog because I'd really like to put something into your niche
  12.  
  13. > I wish you had a robots.txt file. I need to know what parts of you I can crawl.
  14.  
  15. > Are those real? You're getting close to an over optimization penalty.
  16.  
  17. > Would you like a drink, beverage, booze, refreshment, alcoholic product, something to imbibe?
  18.  
  19. > Now I've met you, other women are like a top ranking on Bing. I just don't care.
  20.  
  21. > Is your name Google Penguin? When you showed up in my life, you knocked me right down.
  22.  
  23. > Do your breasts have Twitter? I wanna find them later for some outreach
  24.  
  25. > I'm excellent at linkbaiting my penis. The clinic told me it went viral.
  26.  
  27. > Your bed must have a high domain authority because I'm sure it gets a lot of visitors
  28.  
  29. > How would you like to be treated like Google treats duplicate content? Penalized.
  30.  
  31. > Girl, you need to bring down your keyword density. "Damn fine" is close to 100%.
  32.  
  33. > Are you a $5 article cos I really wanna give you a spin?
  34.  
  35. > Your body must be using blackhat techniques on me. I've shot up faster than naturally possible. And you're going to get penalized...
  36.  
  37. I speak fluent douchebag.