07:15 p.m. - ♣: I just found out that all monotheist religions are in fact the same
07:15 p.m. - ♣: And that the bibles has two jesuses
HiHeiwa¼ is now Online.
07:16 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: Really?
07:16 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: Cool.
07:16 p.m. - ♣: yeah
07:16 p.m. - ♣: You see
07:16 p.m. - ♣: Once upon a time there were the Egyptians
07:16 p.m. - ♣: They liked the sun
07:16 p.m. - ♣: So they worshipped the sun and called it Horus
07:17 p.m. - ♣: in Egyptian mythology, Horus was born of a virgin on december 25th and was followed by three kings.
07:18 p.m. - ♣: He was a teacher at the age of 12 and was baptized at the age of 30
07:18 p.m. - ♣: Furthermore he was crucified and three days later resurrected
07:18 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: Haha what
07:18 p.m. - ♣: And there's a lot of religions that go this way
07:18 p.m. - ♣: But the best part is
07:19 p.m. - ♣: It happened twice in the bible
07:19 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: Win
07:19 p.m. - ♣: You see
07:20 p.m. - ♣: Jesus and the jesus before him, named Joseph, were personifications of the sun
07:20 p.m. - ♣: A mistranslation of God's sun.
07:20 p.m. - ♣: Which became God's son
07:21 p.m. - ♣: Actually I should just link you to the videos
07:22 p.m. - ♣: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3k49dDCSFnk&feature=related
07:22 p.m. - ♣: Conclusion?
07:22 p.m. - ♣: Religion is the best thing ever
07:22 p.m. - ♣: If you know the story behind it all
07:23 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: Hehe
07:24 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: Well
07:24 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: There was one thing I was taught in my old school
07:24 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: When Jesus died on the cross
07:25 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: He made it so that he got a "black mark" instead of us when we sinned
07:25 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: Which basically means he gets the punishment
07:25 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: So surely, no-one goes to Hell
07:25 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: except Jesus
07:25 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: And because we were taught that, according to the Holy Trinity
07:25 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: God = Jesus
07:25 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: The only person in Hell
07:25 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: is God
07:26 p.m. - ♣: Actually
07:26 p.m. - ♣: Everyone worships satan
07:26 p.m. - ♣: You see
07:26 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: Coo'
07:27 p.m. - ♣: The entire story of the sun god is about Horus and Set, who do battle every twelve hours
07:27 p.m. - ♣: so in this case, Jesus vs. Satan all day erry day
07:27 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: Sweet
07:27 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: God vs Satan every twelve hours
07:27 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: How do people keep missing it?
07:28 p.m. - ♣: Well
07:28 p.m. - ♣: Religion
07:28 p.m. - ♣: is just a word for belief
07:28 p.m. - ♣: The roots however
07:28 p.m. - ♣: Lie in astronomy
07:28 p.m. - ♣: All of it
07:28 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: True dat
07:28 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: Well, in everything generally
07:28 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: "There's lightning out there"
07:28 p.m. - ♣: Actually the best bit is
07:29 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: "MUST BE SOME GIANT HUMAN IN THE SKY WIT A BEARD"
07:29 p.m. - ♣: There's been multiple messiahs
07:29 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: "Dude your wife cheated on you again"
07:29 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: "GOD'S WIIIIIIIIIIIILL!"
07:29 p.m. - ♣: There was the bull dude who we know nothing of
07:29 p.m. - ♣: And then there was Moses, who was the deity of I think Aeris
07:30 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: Well, he wasn't a Messiah
07:30 p.m. - ♣: He was
07:30 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: He was a prophet
07:30 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: To christians that is
07:30 p.m. - ♣: Kayfine
07:30 p.m. - ♣: Prophet
07:30 p.m. - ♣: Anyway
07:30 p.m. - ♣: Best part
07:30 p.m. - ♣: when he ascended the mountain with the tablet with the ten commandments
07:30 p.m. - ♣: Best thing
07:30 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: >Eat a weird mushroom
07:30 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: >Think a burning bush is talking to you
07:30 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: >???
07:30 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: >Prophet!
07:31 p.m. - ♣: New age happened
07:31 p.m. - ♣: When Moses came down
07:31 p.m. - ♣: People were still worshipping the bull in what religious nuts think is a fake religion
07:31 p.m. - ♣: it wasn't.
07:31 p.m. - ♣: Honk.
07:31 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: Durrhurr
07:31 p.m. - ♣: Y'see
07:32 p.m. - ♣: The sun passes a constellation every 2150 years
07:33 p.m. - ♣: That day, the sun had passed the tauros and reached aeris
07:33 p.m. - ♣: so they had to reinvent religion
07:33 p.m. - ♣: So Moses gets pissed and he's like "Kill yourself in the name of the sun"
07:33 p.m. - ♣: Everybody died.
07:33 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: :V
07:34 p.m. - ♣: Oh yeah,
07:34 p.m. - ♣: Jesus is two fish
07:34 p.m. - ♣: He is the prophet of pisces
07:34 p.m. - ♣: And the bible hints to this a lot.
07:34 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: Religion sure is complicated
07:34 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: And silly
07:34 p.m. - ♣: Hence the jesus fish
07:34 p.m. - ♣: Now here comes the best part.
07:35 p.m. - ♣: In approximately 149 years
07:35 p.m. - ♣: There will be a new prophet
07:35 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: Welp.
07:35 p.m. - ♣: Jesus announced that he will be an aquarius.
07:35 p.m. - ♣: Honk.
07:36 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: Eridan: The Prophet?
07:36 p.m. - ♣: Also the apocalypse? Bullshit.
07:36 p.m. - ♣: It was a mistranslation
07:36 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: "Wwe all need to wworship the hipster god"
07:36 p.m. - ♣: instead of world, it was supposed to say 'Aeon'
07:36 p.m. - ♣: which means age
07:36 p.m. - ♣: so basically
07:36 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: End of an age
07:36 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: :T
07:36 p.m. - ♣: Yes.
07:36 p.m. - ♣: The age of pisces
07:37 p.m. - ♣: So this means
07:38 p.m. - ♣: That Homestuck is dumb and completely incorrect
07:38 p.m. - ♣: 0/10 andsoforth
07:39 p.m. - ♣: except when you start thinking
07:39 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: Wait what's it incorrect about?
07:39 p.m. - ♣: Y'see
07:39 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: I dun geddit
07:39 p.m. - ♣: I stop thinking when I explain things
07:40 p.m. - ♣: I jsut gave it some thought and was like 'OH FUCK I JUST REALIZED'
07:40 p.m. - ♣: so here goes
07:40 p.m. - ♣: OH FUCK I JUST REALIZED
07:40 p.m. - ♣: FEFERI IS IN FACT LIKE JESUS
07:40 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: True dat
07:40 p.m. - ♣: How 'bout this
07:40 p.m. - ♣: She hangs out with gods
07:40 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: Bringing about peace and shiz
07:40 p.m. - ♣: And wants people to accept them
07:40 p.m. - ♣: instead, she dies.
07:40 p.m. - HiHeiwa¼: Died
07:40 p.m. - ♣: The end.
07:41 p.m. - ♣: So basically
07:41 p.m. - ♣: Historical in-joke
07:41 p.m. - ♣: Eridan is
07:41 p.m. - ♣ sunglasses
07:41 p.m. - ♣: New age