by Cody Semroska

 Dear Mom & Dad -

 I want to share something about my life that is important because I love
 you.  I am gay.  I have only known this about myself since I was 25.  In
 the years that have passed since then, keeping this a secret from you
 has become more and more of a burden.  It has also placed an invisible
 wall between us in that I can not share with you much of what goes on in
 my life, something that straight children take for granted.  I could not
 share the excitement of dating somebody new nor the pain when things
 didn't work out.  I have spent many nights crying with a broken heart,
 alone, unable to call you for support.

 I know that you may be feeling shocked, confused, angry, and sad; and
 perhaps you might feel that, somewhere along the way, you have failed as
 parents.  From what I have read, these are common reactions.  You have
 not failed as parents; you have both been wonderful.  Nobody chooses to
 be gay and I accept myself and am happy with who I am.  My friends have
 known for some time and they accept me as well.  I hope that you will be
 happy for me.

 Part of me thinks that you might have suspected for some time that I am
 gay since I never brought home girls while in school and I never talk
 about dating or women now.  On the other hand, my being gay may have
 come as a complete surprise to you and you may need to take some time to
 get used to the idea.  Hopefully, a few years from now, our relationship
 will be closer than it has been in the past.  This is part of the reason
 I am coming out to you: to tear down the wall between us.  When we speak
 on the phone and you ask me what is going on in my life and I say,
 "Nothing," I have been lying.  I haven't been lying to deceive you, but
 because I could not tell you the truth.  This lying has been eating at
 me for some time now and I'm tired of it.  So this was the choice I had
 to make: either keep lying and allow us to grow even farther apart from
 each other, or tell the truth and hopefully have a better relationship
 in the long run.

 I know you have always loved me very much.  It was very hard to mail
 this letter for fear of losing that love.  I have cried several times
 while writing it.  Although you may not understand about being gay, I
 hope that you still love me now.  Know that I am the same person now as
 I was before you read this letter; you just know one more thing about
 me.  I am still "Paul Jay."  When you are ready, you are welcome to call
 me so we can talk about this more.

 Love,

 Cody