1.  As a child, I always loved Laundry. I liked smelling it, touching it, and shoving it in places cotton should not be shoved. Once when I was seven, I sat on top of my washer, and it made all these noises so it made me feel like I was on a roller coaster. I enjoyed it so much, I began to sleep, eat, and defecate there. I would never leave. Then one day I got AIDS since apparently my parents made my brother Kyle on top of there, and I got infected! I then locked myself in the washer and turned it on. I went around and around and around until I was hearing impaired because of all the suds in my eardrums. But hey- I don't have aids anymore!!

2. a few years ago i was bored and couldn't find anything to do so i decided to do my laundry. i put all the clothes in the washer and left to find other things to do. when i came back to check on them, i noticed that the dryer was empty. i wanted to have a fun time, since i was bored, so i decided to test my abilities. i stood in front of the dryer, put one foot inside, and realised that i could do it. i could complete my task, my longlife goal: to fit in the dryer and see what it's like.

after a few minutes of finding the best way to fit myself whole in the machine, i'd completed it. i was wholly inside the dryer.

my brother came by and didn't know why i was in there. i said to him, "hey. i have to test my abilities. i have to know where i stand." he said okay, and closed the door. i was frightened. but he was just playing a joke on me. he opened the door and after being stuck inside, i found a way out.

if anyone tells me they don't believe in me, it won't bother me, because i'll remember my time in the dryer and know i am powerful.

3. it was a sunny saturday morning so i decided to do my laundry since i would be able to hang it out in the sun. after waiting a patient forty minutes, i retrieved my damp outfits from the week and hung them out in the fading sun. as the day progressed, the sun began to sink into the horizon as i figured i should bring my clothes back inside. i was quite displeased to find my clothes still damp after spending the day in the sun and tossed them into the dryer to finish off the job. giving them a good half hour in there, i snuggled into the warm pile of clothes as i brought them into my room for folding. of course, a sock has to be missing. i checked in my shirt, letting out a defeated sigh as i headed back into the laundry room to find it. thump! i adjusted my direction towards the dryer. thump, thump! i was unsure if the noise was actually coming inside the dryer. it couldn't be possible, it was off. i sank to my knees, looking inside the dryer and feeling up the sides for my lost sock when i felt a jerk. the dryer engulfed my petite figure as i fell to my back onto a soft surface. this couldn't be possible. i looked up to see the dryer door close above me, completely out of reach. i stood up to collect myself, turning around to see a community of lost socks. i turn back quickly, hoping to crawl up and make it back into my laundry room when the door disappeared. i was the lost sock.

4. Once upon a time, there lived a king, named retti. You see, rumour had it that he wet his pants daily and well, Harry knew it wasn't just rumours. He was just a poor slave, working in retti and his queen, wetzel's stunning castle, in the village of EPICMAFIA DOT COM. Every day he would have to do retti's laundry and yep, every day Harry would have to handwash the pee stains out of his underwear. He loved it though, and took his time smelling the what some may have called horrendous smell, and sometimes even gave it a good lick.

One day, wetzel walked in on him doing the laundry, and him playing with retti's dirty laundry. Wetzel was horrified at the sight, and ran back to her king to tell him what his piece of shit slave was doing with his undies. Retti could not have this in his castle, and decided that Harry would be sentenced to death.... And yeah, well we see where this is going.

THE END