Jinko's Valentine's Day

Going outside on Valentine’s Day is not a good idea if you’re a bachelor, but that’s never stopped me before. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those adrenaline junkies looking to put my Chasity on the line for a cheap thrill or something like that. But, others would probably say my reasons are just as stupid.

You see, the reason I’m risking rape or worse today, is for a free smoothie. Granted, there’s a lot of other free stuff I’ll be getting from all the monster stores at the strip mall, but the main reason is the smoothie. Every Valentine’s day, the yeti owned creamery there gives out a free Hearts and Hugs smoothie to any man who shows up, and yes, it is worth the risk. Although, the jinko now chasing me is forcing me to reconsider my commitment to the smoothie agenda.

I took a peek over my shoulder at my pursuer and immediately regretted it. The jinko was only a few meters back with a look of barely restrained hunger in her eye, her impractical armored bikini jingling with each stride.  In hindsight, I probably should have kept running whenever she stopped to adjust the pinching metal instead of pausing to laugh at her.

My lungs burned, and I felt a tightness in my chest that worsened with each footfall. I’m no slouch when it comes to cardio - no man in my generation is- but after dodging monsters all morning, I’m reaching my limit. The last of my pepper spray was used up fending off a crowd of baphomets, and my last pair of decoy boxers was sacrificed to distract that hellhound, but I did have one last trick to play.

The moment I spotted the right alley I picked up the pace and turned into it, gripping the padlock in my pocket tightly.  At the end of the alley was a weather worn chain link fence topped with vicious looking razor wire, the lot beyond it filled with crates covered in plastic. The gate was closed, but I knew from experience the guys working there didn’t bother to lock it until nightfall, just in case they got a shipment they needed to unload in a hurry.

My legs felt like jelly and seemed fit to burst, but I managed to pull out one last burst of speed to reach the gate. I opened it just enough to slip through and slammed it shut, locking it with only seconds to spare. As I caught my breath, I could see the jinko staring at me through the chain link with an expression I couldn’t quite describe. She ran her claws over the fence, probing for weakness. A little smile formed on my face as my breathing steadied, good luck trying to get through that. The fence may not look like much, but I once saw a charging minotaur bounce right off it.

After studying the metal for a moment longer, she turned around and started walking away. My smile grew wider. I was about to start taunting her when she suddenly turned around and broke into a run. For a second it looked like she was going to try smashing through, but at the last moment, she leapt over the fence in some mockery of a Fosbury flop. She turned the flop into a flip, and landed amongst the crates in crouch that made me think she had seen one too many superhero movies.
Just as she started toward me with lust in her eyes, I noticed something and my mouth couldn’t help but comment. “Nip slip.” The Jinko stared uncomprehendingly for a second before suddenly turning bright pink, letting out a soft squeak, and turning away from me. As she adjusted herself, an idea started percolating in my head.

“So, how did you get into that getup anyway? Those clasps are so small that I would struggle to deal with them, and I have hands.” The jinko gave me a look that told me exactly what she wanted to do with my hands. That look could have cowed  lesser men into mewling rape bait, but it didn’t faze a veteran bachelor like me. “Do you ever take that thing off or do you just bathe with it on?” I made a slightly disgusted face and took step back, a hint of dawning horror entering my voice, “You do bathe, don’t you?”

Her flushed face became a deeper shade pink and she sputtered, “Yes, yes, of course I bathe! I even use special shampoo, conditioner, and everything.” She continued babbling about her dedication to personal hygiene without stopping. It was around the time she was talking about claw waxing that I decided to take it easy on her and not let her continue to embarrass herself. The twinge of shame and self loathing I felt contributed to that decision, though it was far from the only reason. I had already put her off balance enough to buy me some breathing room, but if I kept pressing, that embarrassment would turn to anger and she’d jump me. I needed a new angle of attack to keep the embarrassment flowing. Who says I’m not a nice guy?

I raised my hands to stall the deluge of words enough to get in a word edgewise. “Alright, you take care of yourself, but that only answered half of my question and raised a bunch more.” My hands gestured at her in an arcane fashion that I thought would help illustrate my point. “How do you manage to do all this stuff with only paws?”

The jinko fell silent and returned to adjusting her top with little success. After a full minute, I thought I heard her mumble something under her breath. I held my hand to my ear. She let out a huff and grumbled, “My high orc roommate helps me when I need it.” When I heard those words it felt like God himself was smiling down on me with a shit eating grin to match my own, blessing me, and delivering victory into my hands.

Thankfully, divine intervention hid my grin from her notice, and I spoke with a calm, placid voice that betrayed nothing, “So, this roommate of yours helps you out a lot.” The jinko tilted her head in an expression of feline confusion, but nodded. “And I imagine that this would build a close bond between the two of you, an… intimate bond.” She cautiously nodded again. My brow furrowed and I nodded myself, “I see… then I have one last question to ask you.” I stared into her wintergreen eyes and spoke with all the seriousness I could muster, “Did you only chase me because you’re tired of pork and wanted to get some beef instead?”

For a long moment, it seemed like the Jinko didn’t comprehend my words, but then the penny dropped. The pink flush of her cheeks that had been fading seconds before, returned with a vengeance followed closely by an almost panicked expression. Her mouth flapped wordless as she tried to find her voice, but I didn’t give her the chance.

“I understand it can be tough to meet unmarried men and it can be rough on Valentine’s Day, especially with having to watch all the couples out and about.” I narrowed my eyes at her and scowled. "But if you're gonna be taking me home, I want to be sure I'm not going to be some toy for your depraved relationship" The Jinko started making a low keening sound, but I didn’t let up.

"Only taking me out of the closet when you when you want to subject me to your lusts, forcing me to watch you roleplay as the hungry tiger devouring the helpless piggy" My hands began making vaguely lewd gestures as my voice grew louder to drown out the Jinko’s senseless babbling.  “Forcing me play the ill-fated huntsman that just becomes more prey to be devoured by the tiger’s sordid desires.”

“Nonono I just wanted…” The Jinko’s babbling started to vaguely resemble words, but it was too late. The proud tiger had transformed into a frightened kitten and I had her penned in with nowhere to go. All that was left was the Coup de grâce.

With a sneer filled with all the contempt I could muster, I delivered the blow, “Well, I’m no toy you degenerate!” The effect was immediate and deadly. Her babbling trailed off, she looked away from me, and buried her face in her paws. I could faintly hear her muttering, trying to regain her composure. It really tugged at my heart strings, but not enough to prevent me from taking advantage of the situation.

With the Jinko out of commission, I seized the moment. Silent as can be, I made my way over to the gate, unlocked it, and gave it a firm but gentle push. As the gate slowly opened, I quickly squeezed between the stacks of crates into a hidden gap just big enough sit in. Once inside, I focused on slowing my breathing and heart rate.

Long seconds passed until the gate reached the end of its travel, letting out a metallic racket as it banged against the fence. The Jinko let out a surprised noise and I could hear her shifting her feet. In my mind’s eye, I imagined her turning around to face the gate, her face in an expression of startled feline confusion that slowly shifted to one of furious understanding. A soft growl emitted from the Jinko, followed by the fading sound of paws on pavement.

    I stayed in my hiding spot well after she ran off.  A quick peek between the crates told me that she had indeed left, but there was no reason to take any chances, not with delicious victory just around the corner. With utmost stealth, I exited my hiding place, made my way to one of the other gates, and walked out onto the street.

A few minutes later, I was making my way through the shops at the strip mall, partaking in the fruits of victory. My bags were filled to the brim with freebies and discounted goods, but I had saved the best for last. I was in the process of freeing up a hand to open the creamery’s door, when a very familiar paw pulled it open for me.

 The Jinko’s sudden reappearance didn’t do my poor heart any favors. I briefly considered dropping everything, booking it over the creamery’s counter, and testing the effectiveness of yeti business owners as limpet mines, but I quickly smashed that line of thought. The Jinko could have just snatched me while I was distracted, and wasn’t making any threatening moves. No, the best shot I have of getting out with my loot intact is play this out and see where it goes. Yeti limpet mines can be plan B. I walked through the open door with a curt nod to the Jinko and made my way over to the creamery’s counter.

A few minutes later, I was happily sipping and savoring my Hearts n Hugs smoothie while trying to ignore the Jinko sitting across from me. She’d demolished her ice cream cone within seconds of sitting down and now just sat nervously playing with her tail. The girl looked like she was bursting at the seams to say something, but was waiting on me to start the conversation. That wasn’t happening, not while I had my liquid ambrosia.

Eventually, she couldn’t hold it in any longer and burst out, “I’m sorry.” I didn’t say anything, I just quirked an eyebrow and continued sipping from my smoothie. The Jinko fidgeted in her seat like she was trying to stem the flood of words pent up inside her, but it was to no avail.

 “You see, I’m not good talking with talking to people or with relationships and my roommate has been trying to help by setting goals for me. I thought I could handle finding someone to have dinner with on Valentine’s Day, but it was a lot harder than I thought.” She gripped her tail like a safety blanket. “I got carried away, because my roommate believes in me so much she’s preparing this wonderful meal for when I come home and I don’t want to let her down..” Her babbling began to grow incoherent as a little lump formed in my throat.

I held up my hand to forestall any further rambling and said, “I think I got it, you just need someone to bring home for dinner, right? Nothing else?” She looked a bit startled for a second gave me a quick nod. I took another sip of my drink while I mulled it over.

The more I thought about, the more I came around to the idea. My gut said she was on the level and wouldn’t try any funny business. Getting home with my loot would be a lot easier with someone to ward off the lonely and lust addled monsters. And I’d struggle to say no to a good meal. Besides, she was pretty cute.

I finished the last of my smoothie, collected my stuff, and said, “Alright, let’s go.” Surprise spread across her features, but she recovered quickly and followed me out.

Once outside, the Jinko took the lead, but it was difficult to make good time with how she acted around me. She kept speeding up and slowing down to match my pace.  Every few moments she would furtively glance at me, almost like she thought I could disappear at any moment. After a while, I gave up and held out my arm, “Here.” She looked confused for second, but caught on fast and slipped her arm around mine. She was quite warm. “Well, lead on.” A bright smile bloomed across her face. And arm in arm, she guided me home.