Untitled

0:02:01 Let's go and return it after the meal.

Dean>  could we say something like: "after we eat"?


0:03:06 What a horrible person!  That's definitely a lie!

Dean>  "definitely" makes it seem like they did not know it was a lie, any ideas for better wording?


0:03:17 I'll make him return to normal no matter what!

Dean> Comma between "normal" and "no"?


0:03:23 If I didn't have to help him, I'd never spend time with people like you guys!

Dean>  Drop "guys"... definitely...


hahahaahahahahahahhaahah Min Min Minister!


0:05:55 King Truth, Queen Elsa, it is my pleasure to see you again.
0:06:02 I-It's o-our pleasure to see you again!

Dean> I'm sure this is like this on purpose... but... what about "a pleasure" ^^;;


0:06:12 It appears, the princesses have grown through the experiences they had on their journey.

Dean>  First, should "they had" => "they have had" to match "have grown"
Dean>  Second, is that comma correct?  It doesn't seem it when read aloud...


0:07:23 Omendo made us this device.

Dean> "Omendo constructed/made this device for us (all)."  I assume that's wrong for some reason


0:07:57 Enough power so that everyone will recognize me as their king.

Dean> Could we do: "so that" => "to ensure that"


0:08:48 So many people have gathered.  Altezza is as amazing as expected.

Dean> Perhaps this line should be clarified (second half namely), cause I don't understand xD


0:08:53 That's why wherever you go, there will always be a commotion.

Dean> "there is always"?  this line is weird too, this whole scene is! D:


0:17:29 Wind, bawl!

Dean> ._. bawl?


0:23:13

Dean> i love the blue one's hair XD