A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.
"How old is this rock, pinhead?"
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian"
"Wrong. It's been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real... then it should be an animal now"
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the "poor" (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!
The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.
Semper Fi. p.s. close the borders

An idolatrous worldly pedophile Catholic priest and for-profit pardoner was preaching a sermon on St. Augustine, known papist.
"Before Mass begins, you must genuflect against the pews, kiss my ring, and worship His Holiness Pope Francis and accept that he is the holiest and most authoritative person ever sent by God to instruct the human race in the Christian faith, even greater than Jesus Christ!
At this moment, a plain, realistic, humble anti-clerical Protestant who had read the Bible 1500 times and understood the the direct link each man is capable of achieving with God without the intercession of the priestly class and fully supported every statement in the Holy Scriptures stood up and held up a Bible.
"What is this book, thou wicked and idolatrous papist?"
The arrogant priest smirked quite popishly and smugly replied "The Holy Scriptures, which are to be interpreted solely by the Church and read only in Latin after saying 50 Ave Marias, you filthy heretic."
"Wrong. It's the holy word of God written by his prophets to guide each man to salvation. If it required the interpretation of the Church, why doesn't it say so?"
The priest was visibly shaken, and dropped his crucifix and copy of the Summa Theologica. He stormed off the pulpit crying those delicious papist tears. The same tears papists cry for the "saints" (who should not be mistaken for the One True God) when they jealously try to foist their idolatrous relics and pilgrimages on the common man who should instead focus on spiritual reform and the study of Scripture. There is no doubt that at this point our priest, Fr. Seamus O'Connor, wished he had thrown off his vestments and chasuble and become more than gaudy and sentimental Catholic priest. He wished so much he had a sturdy Psalter with which to flagellate himself, but he himself had petitioned against allowing the laity to own Bibles!
The parishioners applauded and all converted to Puritanism that day and accepted Jesus as their one and only Lord and Savior and rejected the idolatrous worship of Mary and the saints. An eagle named "No Popery" flew into the nave and perched atop the rood and shed a tear on the burning incense, finally destroying the miasma of popish mysticism that had impeded pure religious instruction from taking place in the church. The Ninety-Five Theses were read several times, and God himself showed up and smote all the pagan and polytheistic icons.
The priest lost his Holy Orders and was de-ordained the next day. He died of protein deficiency during Lent and was cast into the lake of fire for all eternity.
Amen. p.s. Remember, remember, the fifth of November, the Gunpowder Treason and Plot

A white heteronormative cisgendered CEO professor and Baptist preacher was teaching a class on Karl Rove, known Christian.
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Jesus Christ and accept that you too can become straight through daily prayer, self-flagellation, and eating Chik-Fil-A every day!"
At this moment, a brave, trans-Asian, self-diagnosed pansexual demiromantic vegan multisouled person who had been free of all animal products and only bought products at the local transgender co-op boldly stood up, holding a glass filled with some white liquid.
"Hey, Professor, what is this?"
The arrogant professor smirked like a rapist and smugly replied "It's clearly milk, you crazy faggot. What the fuck does milk have to do with political science?"
"Wrong. It's an all natural vegan soy almond kombucha latte. No animals or transpeople were harmed or raped in the making of this product." The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of the Wall Street Journal. He stormed out of the room, clearly planning some kind of rape. The professor realized that he had been playing into the hands of the kyriarchy of CEOs, investment bankers, the Religious Right, and psychiatrists. He then killed himself. The proper term for this is "trans-dead".
The students checked their privilege, all diagnosed themselves with autism and gender identity disorder and joined the Gay-Straight Alliance. An obese trans-eagle furry otherkin waddled into the room and tried to perch upon the American Flag, bending the flagpole in the process. All parties involved gave up meat, Christianity, and the right to bear arms.
The students all lifted their glasses of soy fluid in a toast.
"That beverage's name? Harvey "The One Percent" Milk." said the vegan trans-autistic Korean.

A racist, christian, neurotypical, fat shaming professor and member of National Front was teaching a class on Nigel Farage, known Holocaust denier.
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Nigel Farage and accept he is the greatest hero Britain has ever had. Even greater than Churchill himself!!
At this moment, a brave, homosexual, transgender Labour champion who placed on the autism spectrum and understood the necessity of big government and fully supported all decisions made by Tony Blair stood up. "What is the difference between a group of Romanians and a group of Germans living next to you?"
The arrogant professor smirked quite Hitlery and smugly replied "You know the difference, Romanians statistically commit more crime." "Well statistically Germans commit more GENOCIDE and I'd rather have my things stolen than be genocided"
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Mein Kampf. He stormed out of the room crying those Nationalist crocodile tears. The same tears Nationalists cry for the "dying" white race even though they make up 8% of the worlds population. He wished so much that he could end his life via doctor assisted suicide but he himself had campaigned against it!
The students applauded and all registered Labour that day and accepted Ed Miliband as their lord and savior. A pigeon named "Welfare Dependency" flew into the room and perched atop the communist flag and shed a tear on the chalk.
Red Flag was sung several times, and Ed Miliband himself showed up and enacted an 80% tax on the rich. The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He later died in prison after being rightfully arrested for hate speech.