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Oct 28th, 2016
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  1.  
  2. St-t-t-
  3.  
  4. 1.
  5.  
  6. Incandescent illuminations cascaded through the sunroof of the humming vehicle, cast down by the street lights above. Precipitation bounced off of the windscreen, creating red light beams from the truck sitting several feet ahead. Inside the car sat a man, his head barely visible over the steering wheel, and his fingers tapping nervously on his steering wheel. No music played, in fact Ernest had no idea whether the speaker system in his car even worked, he was not one for distractions.
  7.  
  8. His fingers drummed rhythmically along with his heartbeat, increasing as the car in front of him moved further forward, towards his final goal. Ernest's head was abuzz with potentials, all possible outcomes of the awkward engagement he was about to have, maybe they'd ask him how he was doing, what should he do in response? His eyes fluttered around his head as he tried to think of how his day had been, without using any awkward syllables and without seeming too friendly – he was here with a goal in mind after all. Sighing to himself, he lamented his own social abilities. Why was it necessary for him to plan like this? Others had things so easily, bitterness flowed through him and he let it consume him for a moment.
  9.  
  10. It was his time, the truck in front had sped off, rounding the corner the sound of the large vehicle dopplered into the distance. He inched his car forward, lowering the drivers side window to let the winter air in. A tinny voice welcomed him. He sped off, around the corner, out of the parking lot, and down the street.
  11.  
  12. 2.
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  14.  
  15. I told myself this time would be different. I felt fantastic, I felt like life was a gift. I had my new sunglasses on, I looked cool. It was early morning and the sun had risen jubilantly as if matching my mood on this fine day. My windows were already down as I was embracing the clean summer air. The first day of the rest of my life. I was excited.
  16.  
  17. The line stretched around the building this time, but Ernest did not mind. He was humming tunelessly, the sound bouncing around his car was invigorating him. As he slowly inched forward he took in his surroundings, large sheets displaying prices and information hung all around him, inviting him to indulge himself in the guilty pleasures they had to offer. A smile crept upon him, cracking his clay mask of aloofness for the first time in weeks. Ernest glanced at himself in the rear view mirror as his car slowly rolled forward. The sun reflected off of his glasses and his uneven teeth still had their gleam, he was going to impress.
  18.  
  19. My heart almost leaped out of my throat, or at least it seemed that way, I had been so preoccupied with my veneer in the mirror I hadn't realized where I was in the line, the tinny voice had once again inquired into my reason for being where I was. I can't take it. My outside shattered as the howling wind rushed through my car. The mirror no longer displayed a man who was above it all, who was ready to take on life. Instead it showed me shattered into pieces, my sunglasses no longer hid my eyes that were searching for love and meaning, and my smile had faded into a droopy line baked onto my face. Maybe next time, it can't be worse than this, there's always another chance. Perhaps.
  20.  
  21. 3.
  22.  
  23. It was getting dark earlier now, the leaves were falling off of the trees and had covered the earth. Ernest was sitting in his car, coolly. He shook out his blue button down shirt, and pulled a small bottle out of his breast pocket. Two pills fell into his hand and he swallowed them without as much as a thought. The queue was not long, and he was progressing quickly.
  24.  
  25. I think I'll get a coffee today, it's going to be a long night.
  26.  
  27. The tinny voice piped up through my cracked window, “Welcome to McDonalds sir, can I take your order?”
  28.  
  29. The panic rose in the bottom of my guts, rushing like bile to the top of my throat only to reside as quickly as it had come on, the pills were fighting my brain for me. “O-o-one L-lar-large Cof-cofee.”
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