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- At the far end of town
- where the Demon-grass grows
- and the wind smells like sex when it blows
- and no harpies sing excepting old crows...
- Is the street of the Miffed Mofucore.
- And deep in the demon-grass, some monsters say,
- if you look deep enough you can still see, today,
- where the Mofucore once stood
- Just as long as she could
- Before someone lifted the Mofucore away.
- What was the Mofucore?
- And why was it there?
- And why was it lifted and taken somewhere
- from the far end of town where the Demon-grass grows?
- The old Manticore still lives there.
- Ask her. She knows.
- You won't see the Manticore
- Don't knock at her door.
- She stays in her cave on top of her boar
- She lurks in her cave, cold under the roof
- Where she milks semen
- out of the
- And on special moonlit nights in August
- She peeks
- Out of the cavern
- And sometimes she speaks
- And tells how the Mofucore was lifted away
- She'll tell you, perhaps...
- If you're willing to pay.
- On the end of her tail
- She lets down her pussy
- And you have to toss in five ounces
- of sweet cushy
- freshly milked semen
- Right into that pussy.
- Thens he pulls up the tail
- makes a most careful count
- to see if you've paid her
- the proper amount.
- Then she hides what you paid her
- away in her muff
- her secret strange hole
- At the end of her ruff.
- Then she grunts, "I will call you by the Manticore-Phone
- for the secrets I tell you are for your ears alone."
- SCHLICK!
- Down slips the Manticore-Phone to your ear
- and the old Manticore's whispers are not very clear,
- since they have to come down
- through what is still her tail puss
- and she sounds
- as if she was riding a bus.
- "Now I'll tell you." She says, with her teeth sounding gray
- "How the Mofucore got lifted and taken away...."
- "It all started way back...
- Such a long, long time back...
- Way back in the days when the mofu was still soft
- And the children still smiled
- and the sex was still good
- and the song of the Jub-Jubs rang out in space....
- one morning, I came to the sensual place.
- And I first all the trees!
- The Mofufu Trees!
- The bright-colored mofu of the Mofufu trees!
- Mile after mile in the fresh morning breeze.
- And, under the trees, I saw Brown Grizzly bears
- Sleeping all pretty with their brown grizzly hairs.
- From the smiling kids
- came the comfortable bids
- Of Krakens happily playing
- Like some kind of squids.
- But those trees! Those tress!
- Those Mofufu trees!
- All my life i'd been searching
- for trees such as these.
- The touch of their tufts
- was much softer than silk
- And they had the sweet smell
- of fresh Hokstaurus milk.
- I felt a great leaping
- of joy in my heart.
- I knew just what I'd do!
- I unloaded my cart.
- In no time at all, I had built a small cave
- Then I chopped down a Mofufu tree with one shave
- And with great skillful skill, and with great speedy speed,
- I took the soft tuft, and I knitted a twede!
- The instant I'd finished, I heard a great thump
- I looked.
- I saw something pop out of the stump
- of the tree I'd shaved down. It was sort of a woman.
- Describe her?....That's hard, I don't know if I can.
- She was shortish. And cutish.
- And pinkish. And fluffy
- And she giggled with a voice
- that was delicate and huffy.
- "Madam!" she said with a funny sneeze.
- "I am the Mofucore. I speak for the fluff!
- I speak for the fluff, for the fluff have no tongues.
- And I'm asking, ma'am, at the top of my lungs."-
- she was very upset and she shouted and puffed-
- "What's the THING you've made out of my Mofufu tuft?!"
- "Look Mofucore," I said. "There's no cause for alarm.
- I shaved just one tree. I am doing no harm.
- I'm being quite useful. This thing is a twede.
- A twede's a fine thing that all Monsters need!
- It's a shirt. It's a sock. It's a net. It's a wrap.
- But it has other uses. Yes, far beyond that.
- You can use to restrain husbands. For dungeons! For sheets!
- Or curtains! Or covers for a man's meat!
- The Mofucore said,
- "Ma'am! You are crazy with greed.
- There is no one on earth
- who would buy that fool Twede!
- But the very next minute I proved her was wrong.
- For, just at that minute, a Hellhound came along,
- and she thought the twede I had knitted was great.
- She happily bought it for three ninety-eight.
- I laughed at the Mofucore, "You poor stupid girl!"
- You never can tell how money will hurl!"
- "I repeat," cried the Mofucore,
- "I speak for the fluff!"
- "I'm busy," I told her.
- "Shut your stupid muff."
- I rushed cross the room, and in no time at all,
- built a radio-phone. I put in a call.
- I called all my sisters and uncle and aunts
- and I said, "Listen here! Here's a wonderful chance
- for the while Manticore family to get mighty rich!
- Get over here fast! take the road to the Ditch.
- Turn left at Wonderland. Sharp right at the other ditch."
- And, in no time at all,
- in the factory I built,
- the while Manticore family
- was working full tilt.
- We were all knitting twedes
- just as busy as bees,
- to the sound of the shaving
- of Mofufu trees.
- Then...
- Oh! Baby! Oh!
- How my buisness did grow!
- Now shaving one tree
- at a time
- was too slow.
- So I quickly invented my Super-Shave-attacker
- which shaved four Mofufu trees at one whacker.
- We were making Twedes
- four times as fast as before!
- And that Mofucore?
- She didn't show up anymore.
- But the next week
- she snuffled
- on my new office door.
- She snapped, "I am the Mofucore who speaks for the fluff
- which you seem to be shaving as fast as you snuff
- But I'm also in charge of the Brown Grizzly bears
- who slept in the shade with their brown grizzly hairs.
- "NOW... thanks to your shaving of my trees to the ground
- There's not enough sleeping space to go 'round.
- And my poor Grizzly bears aren't getting the cummies
- because they have nothing to put in their tummies!
- "They loved livin here. But I can't let them stay.
- They have to find cummies. And I hope they may.
- Good luck girls." She cried. And she sent them away.
- I, the old Manticore, felt sad
- as I watched them all go.
- BUT...
- business is business!
- And business must grow
- regardless of cummies in tummies, you know.
- I meant no harm. I most truly did not.
- But I had to grow bigger. So bigger I got
- I biggered my factory. I biggered my roads.
- I biggered my wagons. I biggered the loads
- of the twedes I shipped out. I was shipping them forth
- to the south! To the East! To the West! to the North!
- I went on biggering... selling more twedes.
- And I biggered my tail pussy, which everyone needs.
- Then again she came back! I was fixing some pipes
- when that old-nuisance Mofucore came back with more gripes.
- "I am the Mofucore," she coughed and she whined.
- She snuffled and she muffled. She warggled. She pined.
- "Manticore!" She cried with a querulous croak.
- "Manticore! You're making such un-mofu smoke!
- My poor darling Jub-Jubs... why, they can't sing a note!
- No one can rape who has smog in her throat!
- "And so." Said the Mofucore,
- "-please pardon my cough-
- they cannot live here.
- So I'm sending them off.
- "Where will they go?...
- I don't rightly know
- They may have to fly for a day, perhaps two
- To escape from the smog you've made you damn jew.
- "What's more," snapped the Mofucore. (Her fluff was up)
- "Let me say a few words about the toxic fluff slop.
- Your machine chugs on, all day and night without stop
- making toxic fluff slop. Also fluffity glop.
- And what do you do with this leftover goo?
- I'll show you. You dirty Manti-jew you!
- "You're clogging the pond where the Kraken's slummed!
- Now more can they slum, for their tentacles are gummed.
- So I'm sending them off. Oh their future is dreary.
- They'll walk on their tentacles and get woefully weary
- in search of some shotas who aren't so queery."
- And then I got mad.
- I got terribly mad.
- I yelled at the Mofucore, "Now listen her, lass!
- All you do is yap-yap and say, 'Ass! Ass! Ass! Ass!'
- Well I have my rights, ma'am, and I'm telling you
- I intend to go on doing just what I do!
- And, for your information, you Mofucore, I'm figgering
- On biggering
- and BIGGERING
- AND BIGGERING
- AND MORE BIGGERING
- turning MORE Mofufu trees into twedes
- which everyone, Everyone, EVERYONE needs!"
- And at that very moment, we heard a loud, whack!
- From outside the fields came a sickening smack
- of a blade on a tree. Then we heard the tree fall.
- The very last Mofufu tree of them all!
- No more trees. No more twedes. No more work to be done.
- So, in no time, my uncle, and aunts, everyone,
- all waved me good-bye. They jumped into my cars
- and drove away under smoke-riddled stars.
- Now all that was left beneath the gross smelling-sky
- was my big empty factory...
- the mofucore...
- and I.
- The Mofucore said nothing. Just gave me a chuff...
- just gave me a very sad, sad depressing chuff...
- as she lifted herself by the seat of her scruff.
- And I'll never forget the grim look on her face
- when she heisted herself and took leave of this place,
- through a hole in the smog, without leaving a trace.
- And all the Mofucore left here in this mess
- was a small pile of rocks, with one word...
- "JEUDEN."
- Whatever that meant, I have no fucking idea.
- That was long, long ago.
- But each say since that say
- I've sat here and worried
- and worried away.
- Through the years, while my buildings have fallen apart,
- I've worried about it
- with all of my heart.
- "But now," says the Manticore.
- "Now that you're here,
- the word of the Mofucore seem perfectly clear."
- "Come up to my cave if you care a whole lot,
- if you don't, things won't get better.
- It's not."
- "SO...
- Climb!" Calls the Manticore.
- She lets her tail swing.
- "It's an easy climb, don't think a thing!
- You're the hope of the future, the most important seed.
- And your seed is what everyone needs!
- Some come up here, climb up my tail
- And let me tell you about how not to fail.
- For if you climb, oh say you will,
- Then perhaps the Mofucore's words
- will not be for the birds."
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