Fuck you, Javascript

I can no longer take it. I have to vent. 140 characters are not nearly enough for me to express
the frustration and sometimes rage, that I have been feeling for the past few weeks, as I go from
being a full-time Python developer, to trying my hand at maintaining a Node.js REST API. Javascript
is riddled with so many bugs and unintuitive things to the point that I find it crippling.

Yes, this is a rant.

Fuck you, Javascript. Fuck you Node. Fuck you and your asynchronous hippy startup trash ecosystem which
thinks providing a 2 file module on Github with a 4-line readme makes you a library maintainer and thus,
makes you somehow above an imaginary threshold. Fuck your lack of documentation. Fuck your filthy and disgusting
Async patterns. Fuck your callbacks for ruining my year before it even started. Fuck your coding patterns that are
so rigid that you sigh in resignation before you've even thought through the entire idea but just know that you're gonna
have to make a few changes in the code. Fuck your lack of good performance libraries that allow me the freedom to
fucking print the response time of an operation. Fuck your console.time and console.timeEnd for being utter filth.
Fuck your braces. Fuck your modules. Sweet Jesus Christ fuck your modules. Fuck your null and undefined. Fuck your truthy values.
Fuck your scope rules that stop working at random. Fuck your silent failures. Fuck your lack of proper data structures
in the language. Fuck your event loop. Fuck your if (err). Motherfuck your callbacks.

Die, Javascript. Why won't you fucking die? What do I have to do? Who do I have to pay to kill you? Please die.
I really really want to see you die a horrible miserably death, I want to relish the silence that follows, because it will
not have your voice in it. I want to make love to sweet Python, Ruby, or hell, I'll even take Haskell at this point, but not you filthy
whore. Never you.

KThnxBye.