My Roomate Bruno 5

>let's assess the situation
>you've got an angry feral fluffy who has declared himself Regent Lord of your living room
>a small herd of fluffies from your roommate's magic safe room working as his private army
>and a roommate who does not abide by fluffy violence of any kind, and would probably have no problem killing you if he came home and found a decapitated fluffy pony
>options:
>you could rush in and take the smarty friend out right away (not like their dirty sock volley is in anyway effective), but you couldn't ensure fluffies wouldn't be hurt, and you don't want that
>you could just wait in your room for this whole thing to blow over
>"fwuffy need make poopies! no wanna make bad poopies!"
>"Just go anywhere. Dis fwuffy wand now!"
>so it looks like sitting this one out isn't an option unless you feel like spending the night cleaning the carpet
>from your tactical position behind the living room chair, you call out to your enemy
I don't suppose you'd be willing to settle this one-on-one you demented little fuzz ball?
>"Smawty Fwiend no wisten to stoopid hooman!"
Didn't think so.
>damn, Bruno doesn't even keep a Sorry Stick around, otherwise you could scare them off
>you guess he doesn't need one, most fluffies just seem to become docile and calm in his midst
>wait, maybe that could work
Hey fluffies! Look! Bruno's home!"
>the couch becomes a cacophony of "bwuno!" "bwuno back" "giff huggies!"
>they rush from behind the couch as you sneak the other way, moving in on the Smarty Friend
>"whewe bwuno?" "bwuno come back!" "want bwuno"
>"Stoopid Fwuffies! It twick!" Smarty Friend calls out to them but to no avail
>you're about to sneak up on the Smarty Friend and one other straggler fluffy when you hear a crying
>the stragglers starts to cry out "No huwt fwuffy mama! No huwt babehs!"
>it's at this point you notice that its a pregnant fluffy pony
>"Smawty Fwiend stop munsta!"
>the Smarty Friend stands defiant in front of the chubby fluffy dam as you reach in to grab him
>before you get to him, his fluffy battalion congregates once again on top of the couch
>"weve fwuffy mama awone!" one of them cheers as they hurl more ammo at you
>you dodge roll backward, just narrowly avoiding fire... right as you remember that their ammo is non lethal
>doesn't matter, your slip up has given them a chance to regroup, fortifying their position more tightly
>"smawty fwiend defend fwuffy mama!", "you best smawty fwiend!", "hooway"
>great, sounds like your attack has only emboldened your enemy
>okay, plan B, you don't have one
>you look around the room and notice your 360 remote within arm's reach, still powered on
>inspiration strikes