Humble thoughts on The Jester

Our thoughts on "The Jester",

It seems people misunderstand this rather bland and seemingly schizophrenic individual, so let's inform everyone (in our own opinion) what he's about.

It appears The Jester runs his online campaign much like Lulz Security - he has a website of sorts where he documents his progress, and a healthy twitter feed. Sometimes he uses pastebin to release statements and information. Sounds pretty identical, huh? Apart from one crucial difference: delivery.

Jester's campaign has been ongoing for over 18 months. Our campaign has been ongoing for 2 months. Aside from using a "homemade" DoS tool to down several tiny Jihad websites for 30 minutes at a time (sometimes operating so slowly that he only hits one per week), Jester doesn't seem to have done much else.

We'll not brag too much of our accomplishments, as they speak for themselves on our releases page. 2 months of mayhem with more to come - we declared war on the police and hundreds of internal police documents are released in the same week. 'Nuff said.

Jester has declared war on terrorism for 18 months, but we're not seeing a single scrap of insider terrorist information on his twitter or blog. As far as we can tell, there have been zero real terrorists apprehended or harmed in any way because of Jester. If anything, Jester's extremely limited attacks are only giving more attention to sites nobody would know existed if he didn't try to DoS them. He's probably responsible for training more terrorists than stopping existing ones.

So what's his reasoning behind these pointless and limited hits? Jester claims to only hit them temporarily so that they "filter" "terrorists" to other "terrorist" websites, "herding" them all into one place so that law enforcement can scoop them up. Four words: what the fuck, schizo.

If we declared war on obese people, hitting local state Pizza Hut websites for 30 minutes at a time isn't going to filter the fatties to Burger King websites for herding... it also isn't going to make fat people think twice about eating at Pizza Hut, because, much like terrorist training grounds, Pizza Hut is a physical place where people can walk into. And sometimes out of, with a full belly or bomb strapped to their asses. Sometimes both!

Jester seems pretty bored with his campaign; after 18 months of doing nothing it must drag out. His first ever tweet was so full of vigor - it even said "PWNED" in it, nice and big in those glorious, anti-terrorist caps. And now his ambitions are so dead that he has to jump on the current trends to get attention; WikiLeaks, Westboro Baptist Church, even us over at Lulz Security. Hell, we've only existed for 2 months, and this pastebin is going to get more views and publicity for Jester than everything he's had since 2009 combined. Maybe this will encourage actual anti-terrorist folks to do something useful? We don't approve of those bomb-tossers much either, despite explosions being pretty.

But don't worry folks, this won't affect our man Jester at all, for the master hacker doesn't just stop at DoS. Oh my, no... he also claims to engage in secret cyberwarfare ranging from "social engineering to SQLi", so hide your kids and your curtains, because surely after 18 months straight he must have an extreme cache of anti-terror material to unleash havoc upon Jihadists around the world.

Wait, what's that, he doesn't? He has nothing? Ah well. It's the thought that counts, Jessy. ;-)

Our thoughts put into brief words,

Lulz Security


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Also, he recently wrote this lame PHP portscan script: http://pastebin.com/wpv1RXta

It scans our old Malaysian host's netrange to see if our real server is in it. Nice try bro, but we switched to a USA host over a month ago. Also, ever heard of nmapping? Taking a closer look, we see that your script also fails in that it directly connects to the IP without telling the server that the host is LulzSecurity.com - also, in our nginx configuration, we deny all HTTP connections to unknown vhosts. Silly, silly man... your code makes two connections to the same site to check for "lulz"; one to check that the site is online, and ANOTHER one to download the page. That's embarrassing.

In celebration of Jester's horrible coding, we wrote a better version of his "quick and dirty" LulzHunter.

Presenting LULZIERhunter.php, taking what Jester wrote in 60 lines and turning it into 3 lines:

    <?php

    // lulzier hunter - by bottle_of_rum
    // usage: ./lulzierhunter.php <start IP> <end IP> <timeout> <needle>
    // example: ./lulzierhunter.php 124.217.224.0 124.217.255.255 1 Lulz

    for ($c = 0; $c <= ip2long($argv[2]) - ip2long($argv[1]); $c++)
            if (strpos(@file_get_contents('http://'.long2ip(ip2long($argv[1])+$c), false, stream_context_create(array('http' => array('timeout' => $argv[3])))), $argv[4]) !== false)
                    die('H4xed :D - '.long2ip(ip2long($argv[1])+$c));

    ?>

Located here: http://pastebin.com/KFyFaDmz

Thank you, all the best from the superior coders at Lulz Security.

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