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Mar 2nd, 2012
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  1. "Your Girlfriend's Face"
  2.  
  3. So I've taken a contract out on you
  4. I have hired a hit man to do what they do
  5. He will do his best to do his worst
  6. After he's messed up your girlfriend first
  7.  
  8. I said he'll do his worst
  9. To your girlfriend first
  10.  
  11. Cause I've hired a fixer for her too
  12. For stealing my lover and making me blue
  13. They'll have to hose off your trysting place
  14. After he blows off your girlfriend's face
  15.  
  16. I want the whole bloody place
  17. [Wet/Wed] with your girlfriend's face
  18.  
  19. So I've taken a contract out on y'all
  20. For making me feel infinitely small
  21. In the evenings I've devised your death
  22. Being buried alive on crystal meth
  23.  
  24. Baby, I give you death
  25. Bye bye bye crystal meth
  26.  
  27. "Andrew in Drag"
  28.  
  29. A pity she does not exist
  30. A shame he's not a fag
  31. The only girl I ever loved
  32. Was Andrew in Drag
  33.  
  34. There is no hope of love for me
  35. From here on I go stag
  36. The only girl I'll ever love
  37. Is Andrew in Drag
  38.  
  39. Andrew in Drag, Andrew in Drag
  40. Andrew in Drag, yeah
  41.  
  42. I don't know why I even went
  43. It's really not my bag
  44. Just thought it might be funny
  45. To see Andrew in Drag
  46.  
  47. The moment he walked on the stage
  48. My tail began to wag
  49. Wag like a little weiner dog
  50. For Andrew in Drag
  51.  
  52. Andrew in Drag, Andrew in Drag
  53. Andrew in Drag, yeah
  54.  
  55. I've always been a ladies' man
  56. And I don't have to brag
  57. But I've become a momma's boy
  58. For Andrew in Drag
  59.  
  60. I'd sign away my trust fund
  61. I would even sell the Jag
  62. If I could spend my misspent youth
  63. With Andrew in Drag
  64.  
  65. Andrew in Drag, Andrew in Drag
  66. Andrew in Drag, yeah
  67.  
  68. So stick him a dress
  69. And he's the only boy I'd shag
  70. The only boy I'd anything
  71. Is Andrew in Drag
  72.  
  73. I'll never see that girl again
  74. He did it as a gag
  75. I'll pine away forevermore
  76. For Andrew in Drag
  77.  
  78.  
  79. "God Wants Us to Wait"
  80.  
  81. I think I know what you would like us to do
  82. When we have children let's have seventy-two
  83. Until then we must be resigned to our fate
  84. I love you baby but God wants us to wait
  85.  
  86. I guess it's true I should have told you before
  87. And not have waited 'til we're nude on the floor
  88. Though it would be the perfect end to our date
  89. I love you baby but God wants us to wait
  90.  
  91. Now you might to kiss the dew on my [hen]
  92. But when male and female create it heathen[]
  93. Our lord intended us forever to mate
  94. I love you baby but God wants us to wait
  95.  
  96. Despite my beauty and the scent of jasmine
  97. Could you be happy in the knowledge of sin?
  98. Although it may not be a crime in our state
  99. I love you baby but God wants us to wait
  100.  
  101. How much more wonderful to anticipate!
  102. I love you baby but God wants us to wait
  103.  
  104. "Born For Love"
  105.  
  106. Hey little cutie
  107. I was born for love
  108. Can't count the chains
  109. I have worn for love
  110.  
  111. Killed three men in one
  112. Cutie, born for love
  113. But I won't mind if you just take me home
  114.  
  115. Hey little darling
  116. I was made for love
  117. Got down on my knees
  118. And I prayed for love
  119.  
  120. Crawled from [Tongatu]
  121. And I wait for love
  122. But I won't mind if you just take me home
  123.  
  124. I know you've been lonely and misunderstood
  125. But I'm yours for the asking for now or for good
  126. If you want me to leave you just give me a shove
  127. But you won't because I was born for love
  128.  
  129. Hey little cutie
  130. I was born for love
  131. Can't count the chains
  132. I have worn for love
  133.  
  134. Killed three men in one
  135. Cutie, born for love
  136. But I won't mind if you just take me home
  137.  
  138.  
  139. "I'd Go Anywhere with Hugh"
  140.  
  141. I'd go anywhere with Hugh
  142. Hugh's the kind of boy I take to
  143. Mother of God, if he only knew
  144. I'd go anywhere with Hugh
  145.  
  146. I'd do anything for him
  147. Sacrebleu when the lights are dim
  148. I'd entertain each and every whim
  149. I'd do anything for him
  150.  
  151. I love Hugh and Hugh loves you
  152. You love me and he does not
  153. I don't love you, you don't love Hugh
  154. What a sad gavotte!
  155.  
  156. Hugh'd go anywhere with you
  157. Hugh would take you to Timbuktu
  158. You would do anything for me
  159. And I'd go anywhere with Hugh
  160. ..who'd do anything for you
  161. ..who'd go anywhere with you
  162. ..I'd do anything for Hugh
  163. ..who'd go anywhere with you
  164.  
  165.  
  166. "Infatuation (With Your Gyration)"
  167.  
  168. Infatuation
  169. With your gyration
  170. That's my fixation
  171. I'm infatuated with you
  172. infatuated with you
  173.  
  174. Bumping to the thumping
  175. Jumping to the pumping
  176. Leaping to the beeping
  177. thing on the dancefloor
  178.  
  179. Thumping to the pumping
  180. Bumping to the jumping
  181. Beeping to the leaping
  182. thing on the dancefloor
  183.  
  184. Infatuation
  185. With your gyration
  186. That's my fixation
  187. I'm infatuated with you
  188. infatuated with you
  189.  
  190. Infatuation
  191. With your gyration
  192. That's my fixation
  193. I'm infatuated with you
  194. infatuated with you
  195.  
  196. Bumping to the thumping
  197. Jumping to the pumping
  198. Leaping to the beeping
  199. thing on the dancefloor
  200.  
  201. Thumping to the pumping
  202. Bumping to the jumping
  203. Beeping to the leaping
  204. thing on the dancefloor
  205.  
  206. Infatuation
  207. With your gyration
  208. That's my fixation
  209. I'm infatuated with you
  210. infatuated with you
  211. Infatuation
  212.  
  213.  
  214. "The Only Boy in Town"
  215.  
  216. Oh if only you were the only boy in town
  217. For then I could not play the field and let you down
  218.  
  219. I would not go half mad for each passing lad
  220. With eyes of blue, green, grey or brown
  221. No, if only you were only boy in town
  222.  
  223. Oh if only you were the only boy in France
  224. Our life would not be like one long, long, long seance
  225.  
  226. I think I would endeavor to love you forever
  227. Instead of only for the nonce
  228. If if only you were the only boy in France
  229.  
  230. With the only boy in town
  231. With the only available male
  232. In the loneliest possible world
  233. There would be no daily betrayal
  234.  
  235. Oh if only you were the only boy alive
  236. And I were the Queen of our small, small, small beehive
  237.  
  238. Though more pricks than a cactus may always distract us
  239. Would they take up all my sex drive?
  240. Not not not if you were the only boy alive
  241.  
  242. Oh if only you were the only boy in town
  243. Oh if only you were the only boy in France
  244.  
  245.  
  246.  
  247. "The Machine in Your Hand"
  248.  
  249. I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
  250. Your every touch would be my command and I wouldn't be so slow
  251. We'd be together in wonderland and I'd light you with my glow
  252. I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
  253.  
  254. I don't know why I love you
  255. You're not really a person
  256. More a gadget with meat stuck to it
  257. I see less and less of you
  258. As you worsen and worsen
  259. I think you'll disappear
  260. And through it no doubt you're just ahead of the curve
  261. I only wish that I had the nerve to say:
  262.  
  263. I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
  264. Your every touch would be my command and I wouldn't be so slow
  265. We'd be together in wonderland and I'd light you with my glow
  266. I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
  267.  
  268. You can hold me for hours
  269. Wouldn't that be terrific?
  270. We can feel a connection growing
  271. I'll have magical powers
  272. Only they're scientific
  273. You and I will become all-knowing
  274. Such a machine, what would it be worth?
  275. Stick with me kid, we'll conquer the earth
  276.  
  277. I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
  278. Your every touch would be my command and I wouldn't be so slow
  279. We'd be together in wonderland and I'd light you with my glow
  280. I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
  281.  
  282. "Goin' Back to the Country"
  283.  
  284. I'm goin' back to the country
  285. City life's too slow
  286. I'm sick of that 120bpm punk and disco
  287. I'm doing a 180
  288. Break out the fiddle tunes
  289. I'm still that barefoot lady howling up at full moons
  290.  
  291. And I'm gonna fly back to Wyoming
  292. And nevermore my friends all go a'roaming
  293. I'm gonna fly back to Laramie
  294. Let Laramie take care of me 'til they bury me
  295.  
  296. I'm goin' back to the country
  297. The big city's too small
  298. I don't need more than one tree house but there's none at all
  299. I'm hanging up the tyre swing
  300. A hammock in the yard
  301. I'll hear an angel choir sing as I [wing country word]
  302.  
  303. And I'm gonna find me a country boy
  304. And have a couple of country kids, LeAnn and Leroy
  305. And we're gonna wind down those country roads
  306. And sing and play the dulcimer 'til this world explodes
  307.  
  308. "I've Run Away to Join the Fairies"
  309.  
  310. I've run away to join the fairies
  311. This mortal world has lost its charms
  312. I'll be a flower for their garden
  313. Never to hold you in my arms
  314.  
  315. They will enchant me and enslave me
  316. And make of me their fool for fun
  317. Upon my head they'll place an [acid/asset]
  318. More or less as you've always done
  319.  
  320. I loved you like I was your baby
  321. Although you couldn't even fly
  322. And though you held no eldritch secrets
  323. All too enthralled to you was I
  324.  
  325. In yonder forest grows a toadstool
  326. To make the mind of man grow small
  327. They will mistake me for their changeling
  328. I wasn't human after all
  329.  
  330. "The Horrible Party"
  331.  
  332. Take me away from this horrible party
  333. And let me get home to Mother
  334. Don't make me stay at this horrible party
  335. I'll never go to another
  336.  
  337. People are shedding their inhibitions and their clothes
  338. Many are sprawled on divans painting each other's toes
  339. Everyone seems to be stuffing something up his nose
  340. The player piano is tinkling, anything goes
  341. again and again
  342.  
  343. Deliver me from this horrible party
  344. And I will give you some money
  345. Why oh why are we at this horrible party
  346. And I don't see what's so funny
  347.  
  348. Here in the darkness no Heather too, only two holes
  349. People are using the slang they picked up from the proles
  350. Everyone's finding new uses for muffs and mink stoles
  351. And anything goes, goes again, have they no other rules?
  352.  
  353. Some plastic surgeon's done terrible things to poor Jane
  354. Making her terrifically popular, men are insane
  355. "Anything goes" is the motto in endless refrain
  356. My dear, it was heaven until they ran out of champagne
  357.  
  358.  
  359. "My Husband's Pied-a-Terre"
  360.  
  361. I know of a groovy place
  362. Where every girl of every race
  363. Age and bra size and IQ
  364. Goes when she feels broke or blue
  365.  
  366. It's a place more women stare
  367. [And though what you see hair]
  368. Go there once you get the key
  369. So every girl's been there but me
  370.  
  371. [Where's a mink scared minks to wear]
  372. Why, my husband's pied-à-terre!
  373. [Into drinks, you, ]facial hair
  374. That's my husband's pied-à-terre
  375.  
  376. Every alley cat in town
  377. Knows my husband's flat in town
  378. Better get your derrière
  379. To my husband's pied-à-terre
  380. Love is in the very air
  381. Of my husband's pied-à-terre
  382.  
  383. I understand the latest fad
  384. Is my husband's batchelor pad
  385. All the classes may go there
  386. At my husband's pied-à-terre
  387. There is not one single chair
  388. In my husband's pied-à-terre
  389.  
  390. When I [proin] this loony bin
  391. I am going to do him in.
  392.  
  393. "I Don't Like Your Tone"
  394.  
  395. You sigh that I should try your love
  396. I'll never be alone
  397. If you are true you coo my dove
  398. But I don't like your tone
  399.  
  400. You were you were [her further just]
  401. A child but now you're grown
  402. You hiss that this is bliss not lust
  403. But I don't like your tone
  404.  
  405. What's with all this purring?
  406. Are you a cat?
  407. Why are we whispering?
  408. Love's not like that
  409.  
  410. When near my ear how clear you make
  411. Your so-called feelings known
  412. It's queer, my dear, I fear heartbreak
  413. But I don't like your tone
  414.  
  415.  
  416. "Quick!"
  417.  
  418. You'd better think of something quick before I don't love you no more
  419. Quick before I walk out that door
  420. Quick before it all ends in jeers
  421. What a waste of all those beers
  422.  
  423.  
  424. You'd better think of something quick because my suitcase is packed
  425. Quick because I'm through being attacked
  426. Are you really prepared to lose
  427. All this just to air your views?
  428.  
  429. We're on the brink of something
  430. Get me a drink of something
  431. Quick, between your outrageous remarks
  432. Like the mating calls of sarcastic sharks
  433. Quick, before you can't take that back
  434. Just before it all goes whack
  435.  
  436.  
  437. You'd better think of something quick before the midnight bell chimes
  438. You're living in dangerous times
  439. Torture me for your amusement
  440. Ah, but who will pay the rent?
  441.  
  442. who will pay the rent?
  443. who will pay the rent?
  444. who will pay the rent?
  445. who will pay the rent?
  446.  
  447.  
  448.  
  449. "All She Cares About Is Mariachi"
  450.  
  451. You want to light your flame in her hibachi
  452. Well brother, I can tell you in advance
  453. That all she cares about is mariachi
  454. And all she ever wants to do is dance
  455.  
  456. Go there and wear your hair like Liberace
  457. Go wear some freakish fragrance fresh from France
  458. Friend, all she cares about is mariachi
  459. And all she ever wants to do is dance
  460.  
  461. So go ahead and hire Saachi & Saachi
  462. To advertise the sausage in your pants
  463. But all she cares about is mariachi
  464. And all she ever wants to do is dance
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