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- "Your Girlfriend's Face"
- So I've taken a contract out on you
- I have hired a hit man to do what they do
- He will do his best to do his worst
- After he's messed up your girlfriend first
- I said he'll do his worst
- To your girlfriend first
- Cause I've hired a fixer for her too
- For stealing my lover and making me blue
- They'll have to hose off your trysting place
- After he blows off your girlfriend's face
- I want the whole bloody place
- [Wet/Wed] with your girlfriend's face
- So I've taken a contract out on y'all
- For making me feel infinitely small
- In the evenings I've devised your death
- Being buried alive on crystal meth
- Baby, I give you death
- Bye bye bye crystal meth
- "Andrew in Drag"
- A pity she does not exist
- A shame he's not a fag
- The only girl I ever loved
- Was Andrew in Drag
- There is no hope of love for me
- From here on I go stag
- The only girl I'll ever love
- Is Andrew in Drag
- Andrew in Drag, Andrew in Drag
- Andrew in Drag, yeah
- I don't know why I even went
- It's really not my bag
- Just thought it might be funny
- To see Andrew in Drag
- The moment he walked on the stage
- My tail began to wag
- Wag like a little weiner dog
- For Andrew in Drag
- Andrew in Drag, Andrew in Drag
- Andrew in Drag, yeah
- I've always been a ladies' man
- And I don't have to brag
- But I've become a momma's boy
- For Andrew in Drag
- I'd sign away my trust fund
- I would even sell the Jag
- If I could spend my misspent youth
- With Andrew in Drag
- Andrew in Drag, Andrew in Drag
- Andrew in Drag, yeah
- So stick him a dress
- And he's the only boy I'd shag
- The only boy I'd anything
- Is Andrew in Drag
- I'll never see that girl again
- He did it as a gag
- I'll pine away forevermore
- For Andrew in Drag
- "God Wants Us to Wait"
- I think I know what you would like us to do
- When we have children let's have seventy-two
- Until then we must be resigned to our fate
- I love you baby but God wants us to wait
- I guess it's true I should have told you before
- And not have waited 'til we're nude on the floor
- Though it would be the perfect end to our date
- I love you baby but God wants us to wait
- Now you might to kiss the dew on my [hen]
- But when male and female create it heathen[]
- Our lord intended us forever to mate
- I love you baby but God wants us to wait
- Despite my beauty and the scent of jasmine
- Could you be happy in the knowledge of sin?
- Although it may not be a crime in our state
- I love you baby but God wants us to wait
- How much more wonderful to anticipate!
- I love you baby but God wants us to wait
- "Born For Love"
- Hey little cutie
- I was born for love
- Can't count the chains
- I have worn for love
- Killed three men in one
- Cutie, born for love
- But I won't mind if you just take me home
- Hey little darling
- I was made for love
- Got down on my knees
- And I prayed for love
- Crawled from [Tongatu]
- And I wait for love
- But I won't mind if you just take me home
- I know you've been lonely and misunderstood
- But I'm yours for the asking for now or for good
- If you want me to leave you just give me a shove
- But you won't because I was born for love
- Hey little cutie
- I was born for love
- Can't count the chains
- I have worn for love
- Killed three men in one
- Cutie, born for love
- But I won't mind if you just take me home
- "I'd Go Anywhere with Hugh"
- I'd go anywhere with Hugh
- Hugh's the kind of boy I take to
- Mother of God, if he only knew
- I'd go anywhere with Hugh
- I'd do anything for him
- Sacrebleu when the lights are dim
- I'd entertain each and every whim
- I'd do anything for him
- I love Hugh and Hugh loves you
- You love me and he does not
- I don't love you, you don't love Hugh
- What a sad gavotte!
- Hugh'd go anywhere with you
- Hugh would take you to Timbuktu
- You would do anything for me
- And I'd go anywhere with Hugh
- ..who'd do anything for you
- ..who'd go anywhere with you
- ..I'd do anything for Hugh
- ..who'd go anywhere with you
- "Infatuation (With Your Gyration)"
- Infatuation
- With your gyration
- That's my fixation
- I'm infatuated with you
- infatuated with you
- Bumping to the thumping
- Jumping to the pumping
- Leaping to the beeping
- thing on the dancefloor
- Thumping to the pumping
- Bumping to the jumping
- Beeping to the leaping
- thing on the dancefloor
- Infatuation
- With your gyration
- That's my fixation
- I'm infatuated with you
- infatuated with you
- Infatuation
- With your gyration
- That's my fixation
- I'm infatuated with you
- infatuated with you
- Bumping to the thumping
- Jumping to the pumping
- Leaping to the beeping
- thing on the dancefloor
- Thumping to the pumping
- Bumping to the jumping
- Beeping to the leaping
- thing on the dancefloor
- Infatuation
- With your gyration
- That's my fixation
- I'm infatuated with you
- infatuated with you
- Infatuation
- "The Only Boy in Town"
- Oh if only you were the only boy in town
- For then I could not play the field and let you down
- I would not go half mad for each passing lad
- With eyes of blue, green, grey or brown
- No, if only you were only boy in town
- Oh if only you were the only boy in France
- Our life would not be like one long, long, long seance
- I think I would endeavor to love you forever
- Instead of only for the nonce
- If if only you were the only boy in France
- With the only boy in town
- With the only available male
- In the loneliest possible world
- There would be no daily betrayal
- Oh if only you were the only boy alive
- And I were the Queen of our small, small, small beehive
- Though more pricks than a cactus may always distract us
- Would they take up all my sex drive?
- Not not not if you were the only boy alive
- Oh if only you were the only boy in town
- Oh if only you were the only boy in France
- "The Machine in Your Hand"
- I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
- Your every touch would be my command and I wouldn't be so slow
- We'd be together in wonderland and I'd light you with my glow
- I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
- I don't know why I love you
- You're not really a person
- More a gadget with meat stuck to it
- I see less and less of you
- As you worsen and worsen
- I think you'll disappear
- And through it no doubt you're just ahead of the curve
- I only wish that I had the nerve to say:
- I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
- Your every touch would be my command and I wouldn't be so slow
- We'd be together in wonderland and I'd light you with my glow
- I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
- You can hold me for hours
- Wouldn't that be terrific?
- We can feel a connection growing
- I'll have magical powers
- Only they're scientific
- You and I will become all-knowing
- Such a machine, what would it be worth?
- Stick with me kid, we'll conquer the earth
- I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
- Your every touch would be my command and I wouldn't be so slow
- We'd be together in wonderland and I'd light you with my glow
- I want to be the machine in your hand and go wherever you go
- "Goin' Back to the Country"
- I'm goin' back to the country
- City life's too slow
- I'm sick of that 120bpm punk and disco
- I'm doing a 180
- Break out the fiddle tunes
- I'm still that barefoot lady howling up at full moons
- And I'm gonna fly back to Wyoming
- And nevermore my friends all go a'roaming
- I'm gonna fly back to Laramie
- Let Laramie take care of me 'til they bury me
- I'm goin' back to the country
- The big city's too small
- I don't need more than one tree house but there's none at all
- I'm hanging up the tyre swing
- A hammock in the yard
- I'll hear an angel choir sing as I [wing country word]
- And I'm gonna find me a country boy
- And have a couple of country kids, LeAnn and Leroy
- And we're gonna wind down those country roads
- And sing and play the dulcimer 'til this world explodes
- "I've Run Away to Join the Fairies"
- I've run away to join the fairies
- This mortal world has lost its charms
- I'll be a flower for their garden
- Never to hold you in my arms
- They will enchant me and enslave me
- And make of me their fool for fun
- Upon my head they'll place an [acid/asset]
- More or less as you've always done
- I loved you like I was your baby
- Although you couldn't even fly
- And though you held no eldritch secrets
- All too enthralled to you was I
- In yonder forest grows a toadstool
- To make the mind of man grow small
- They will mistake me for their changeling
- I wasn't human after all
- "The Horrible Party"
- Take me away from this horrible party
- And let me get home to Mother
- Don't make me stay at this horrible party
- I'll never go to another
- People are shedding their inhibitions and their clothes
- Many are sprawled on divans painting each other's toes
- Everyone seems to be stuffing something up his nose
- The player piano is tinkling, anything goes
- again and again
- Deliver me from this horrible party
- And I will give you some money
- Why oh why are we at this horrible party
- And I don't see what's so funny
- Here in the darkness no Heather too, only two holes
- People are using the slang they picked up from the proles
- Everyone's finding new uses for muffs and mink stoles
- And anything goes, goes again, have they no other rules?
- Some plastic surgeon's done terrible things to poor Jane
- Making her terrifically popular, men are insane
- "Anything goes" is the motto in endless refrain
- My dear, it was heaven until they ran out of champagne
- "My Husband's Pied-a-Terre"
- I know of a groovy place
- Where every girl of every race
- Age and bra size and IQ
- Goes when she feels broke or blue
- It's a place more women stare
- [And though what you see hair]
- Go there once you get the key
- So every girl's been there but me
- [Where's a mink scared minks to wear]
- Why, my husband's pied-à-terre!
- [Into drinks, you, ]facial hair
- That's my husband's pied-à-terre
- Every alley cat in town
- Knows my husband's flat in town
- Better get your derrière
- To my husband's pied-à-terre
- Love is in the very air
- Of my husband's pied-à-terre
- I understand the latest fad
- Is my husband's batchelor pad
- All the classes may go there
- At my husband's pied-à-terre
- There is not one single chair
- In my husband's pied-à-terre
- When I [proin] this loony bin
- I am going to do him in.
- "I Don't Like Your Tone"
- You sigh that I should try your love
- I'll never be alone
- If you are true you coo my dove
- But I don't like your tone
- You were you were [her further just]
- A child but now you're grown
- You hiss that this is bliss not lust
- But I don't like your tone
- What's with all this purring?
- Are you a cat?
- Why are we whispering?
- Love's not like that
- When near my ear how clear you make
- Your so-called feelings known
- It's queer, my dear, I fear heartbreak
- But I don't like your tone
- "Quick!"
- You'd better think of something quick before I don't love you no more
- Quick before I walk out that door
- Quick before it all ends in jeers
- What a waste of all those beers
- You'd better think of something quick because my suitcase is packed
- Quick because I'm through being attacked
- Are you really prepared to lose
- All this just to air your views?
- We're on the brink of something
- Get me a drink of something
- Quick, between your outrageous remarks
- Like the mating calls of sarcastic sharks
- Quick, before you can't take that back
- Just before it all goes whack
- You'd better think of something quick before the midnight bell chimes
- You're living in dangerous times
- Torture me for your amusement
- Ah, but who will pay the rent?
- who will pay the rent?
- who will pay the rent?
- who will pay the rent?
- who will pay the rent?
- "All She Cares About Is Mariachi"
- You want to light your flame in her hibachi
- Well brother, I can tell you in advance
- That all she cares about is mariachi
- And all she ever wants to do is dance
- Go there and wear your hair like Liberace
- Go wear some freakish fragrance fresh from France
- Friend, all she cares about is mariachi
- And all she ever wants to do is dance
- So go ahead and hire Saachi & Saachi
- To advertise the sausage in your pants
- But all she cares about is mariachi
- And all she ever wants to do is dance
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