Aryanne intro chapter

Narrator: Wartime produces the most tight-knit of friendships, and the events unfolded in the Germanian skirmishes are no different. The ones regarding two enemies however are by far the most… unusual.


Location: Pony Berlin ((placeholder name)). SS-oberführer Aryanne’s resident.
Aryanne: What about the radio? Surly they want me back into the frying pan by now. It’s been weeks, WEEKS!

Butler: The doctors were clear about your situation. No fieldwork until your leg is properly healed up. Peace and quiet is the quickest way to recovery. Mein frau will have to rest.

Aryanne: Pah! The war is raging on and I am stuck here with a mutilated body!

Butler: Frau, I am sure the Reichstag High Command are eager to put you back into service. But a busted up hind leg takes time to heal. Won’t mein frau please stop worrying herself about the war and have a nice cup of tea instead?

Aryanne: That sounds like a savage tribal remedy if you ask me. Herbal tea was conjured up by filthy Zebras to alleviate stress their simple minds could not handle. My mind far surpaces the aid of STUPID tea!

Butler: If you say so, Mein Frau.

Aryanne: What about the mail? Have you checked the mail?

Butler: Is it not in your office, as requested. Mein frau?

[angry trotting noises]
[angry crumpling of paper noises]

Aryanne: Hmm spam, spam, gas bill, war bonds. Ohh! “Broodmare for the fatherland, get tax cuts!” Put that away for later. I am not ready to throw this body away as a vessel for new soldiers just yet.

Butler: Will do, mein frau.

Aryanne: Spam, spam, allied bombing info pamphlet, “Help save the foals of zeveres’’?! Have the ponies releasing such vile propaganda firebombed this instant. Their homes will be their graves! All expenses are to be poured into the war effort.

Butler: I will notify the appropriate authorities, mein frau.

Aryanne: What is this?

Butler: I do not know, frau. It does have the royal crystal equestrian seal attached perhaps it’s worth having a look at?

Aryanne: oh hehehe. Maybe the princesses have agreed on my proposal of eugenics being taught in their schools, Ja?

Butler: I seriously doubt so, mein frau. Nevertheless the fact that the crystal crown would contact you is interesting.

[Sound of scroll opening]
Aryanne: Eh… Hmm. D-aaar. Aryanne. Thzz eine important. Massage- Massage! Re-regar. Regor…? Ehh. My Equestrian is a little rusty. Translate these vile squiggles for me, will you?

Butler: “Dear Aryanne, this is an important message regarding the security of the equestrian crystal crown. Due to your previous actions in the theatre of war, the princesses have refused to to address you personally so this task falls onto me. Prince Shining Armor.”

Aryanne: Ohh! A prince, and a white, blue-eyed unicorn at that~! Maybe Aryanne will have to sign up for that broodmare project sooner than expected, ja?

Butler: The prince is happily wed and professionally denounces everything Germanian government stands for.

Aryanne: Do I pay you to stomp on my hopes and dreams?

Butler: I should hope not, you’re not paying me anything. If I recall correctly I am being held here against my will.

Aryanne: We can not all be free men, mein freund, not in this economy. Keep reading!

Butler: *clears throat* “Though I do not appreciate your actions and how they’ve affected ponykind, your experience might prove vital for the future of the crystal kingdom. I would like to meet you personally within my borders at your soonest convenience in setting up a team of experienced operators willing to discuss. the matter further in private. In return for your willingness to lend your hooves I will personally see to it that the trade-rutes of the crystal kingdom will open for Germanian wares and visa versa.” Signed -Shining Armor.

Aryanne: Do hoho! Imagine the cool weapons our engineers could design using crystal-based magic! I can see it now, my enemies trembling before the great white death as our soldier blast them with lasors from giant spaceships! The infinite terror will be absolutely STUNNING!

Butler: I have no doubts. Mein frau.

Aryanne: Shut up for one second and order train tickets! There is no time to chit-chat.

Butler: I would hate to have to remind mein frau that she is still under strict doctors orders to stay at home and relax.

Aryanne: In what conceivable way do you expect me to end up in breathtaking firefights in stoopid equestria proper? Those ponies hate war more than they love flowers and… yuck. tolerance. Besides. I relax the best when i’m doing work that benefits mein reich.

Butler: *sighs* I’ll order tickets at once, mein frau.








Narrator: Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the wall..

Location: Outskirts of Stalliongrad, Hoofiet Union, resident of Veronika
[shufling of hooves]

Veronika [calm]: Mom, Dad?

[more shuffling of hooves]

Veronika: Did you go to marketplace?

[Hooves intensefies]

Veronika: Hello? Holodomor is still going on you know, the great famine?. There wasn’t any bread last week, this week will be no different.

[Veronika sumbles over scroll]

Veronika: *homff!* Who the hell put vodka bottle in- huh? This is no vodka bottle. Wait a minute, that seal.

[paper ripping noises]

Veronika: Oh ...Cука.