May you own a microwave that sounds like its heating your food perfectly but it isn't quite hot enough yet. Forever. #CurseDavidCameron

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits #CurseDavidCameron

May the drivel from his mouth attract the spiders when he sleeps with his mouth open at night #CurseDavidCameron

May he go outside bare foot in the dark and stand on a slug. #CurseDavidCameron

May all crisp packets you open have a highly unequal distribution of flavour. One really strong crisp, the rest plain. #CurseDavidCameron

#cursedavidcameron May you constantly forget about your tea until it is unpleasantly tepid.

May you forever be plagued by rail replacement bus services #CurseDavidCameron

#CurseDavidCameron May you star in Drag Me To Hell when it's remade as a documentary.

#CurseDavidCameron
May your sphincter become floppy and unreliable.

May you get the clap from shafting the country & pus filled blisters cover your face to show your shame
#CurseDavidCameron

#CurseDavidCameron
May your every speech be accompanied by audible, prolonged and violent farts

#CurseDavidCameron May your suppositories be dipped in itching powder causing anal itching for all eternity.

#CurseDavidCameron ‪#‎ResignDavidCameron‬ As my dear old gran would have said, 'I don't wish him any harm but I hope his *rsehole festers'.

#CurseDavidCameron May the next Pig you encounter bite off your scrotum!

#CurseDavidCameron May all your poops become as hard as diamonds. And tetrahedral.

May you get shut in an airlock with the Queen Xenomorph #CurseDavidCameron

#CurseDavidCameron May you forever be cursed with being crap at cricket.

I hope you forever feel both thirsty and that you need a wee #cursedavidcameron

May you slip up and hurt your bottom on a Panamanian banana skin #CurseDavidCameron

#CurseDavidCameron May all [y]our words be auto corrected to the truth regardless of what device you use or who does it for you.

#CurseDavidCameron
May your toast always be burnt, your eggs hard and bacon too crispy

#CurseDavidCameron May your turds come alive and kiss you.

May you suffer a flesh wound from a bullet cast from frozen faeces
#CurseDavidCameron

#cursedavidcameron may your ears be flicked every day throughout the harshest winters.

May all your Facebook friends be estranged acquaintances who you never really interact with in the actual world #CurseDavidCameron

#CurseDavidCameron May your queue always be longer than the other one.

May a thousand foxes pee on your lawn #CurseDavidCameron

#CurseDavidCameron may your pants spontaneously combust every time you see a bicycle and your belly button turn into an 'outy'

#CurseDavidCameron May you be the first victim of a zombie apocalypse.

May your biscuit break off in your tea #CurseDavidCameron

May your cat develop a habit for secretly vomiting in your brogues #CurseDavidCameron

May you often get a pube stuck in the stitching of your trousers forcing you to walk awkwardly as you try to free it #CurseDavidCameron

May you forever have to shave you're nuts with a rusty cheese grater #CurseDavidCameron

May your sandwich fillings always plop messily onto your tie. #CurseDavidCameron
#CurseDavidCameron

May you arrive at a traffic light forever stuck on red

May all his bags burst in his hands when he is emptying his bins #CurseDavidCameron

May everyone fart in your general direction #CurseDavidCameron

I hope you get out of bed, stand on a plug, then a piece of Lego, and then a rake #CurseDavidCameron