US Navy SEAL and number one most badass expert sniper Chris Kyle was taking college classes between deployments in Iraq popping melons from record distances.

One of his courses had two professors and they were Bill Maher and Rachel Maddow. One day, Bill Maher told everyone that they would be having class outside. When class started, he shocked everyone by walking up onto a stage, looking up and stating, "God, if you are real, head shot me from 1.5 clicks using a 338 Lapua Magnum-chambered McMillan Tac-338 sniper rifle despite a strong crosswind. Go ahead. Sniper me off this platform while I stand here and do an illegal drug. You have ten minutes."

Sniper Chris excused himself from class, donned a ghillie suit, crawled onto a firing position overlooking the greens, carefully adjusted for windage and even temperature, waited for nine minutes and fifty-nine seconds to elapse, and then he sent 250 grains down range. Perfect head shot on Bill Maher. Red mist down to the lower jaw. Confirmed range 2.2 kilometers. He said a little "Booya!" to God before calmly returning to his seat.

Rachel Maddow jumped down off the stage and jabbed a finger in Sniper Chris's chest.

"Why did you perfect head shot my atheist friend from a record distance and why is my witchy hag pussy so wet?"

Sniper Chris said, "God has his hands full protecting America's patriot warriors who are out protecting Bill Maher's right to say stupid shit like that, so he sent me down here to take the shot. Now put on a wig and pull down those man pants, I've got king hard meat after that topper and I'm about to go diesel raw on your fish pit."