<EndPhone> FonyX comes into the commonroom from the courtyard, green eyed, the right eye being bloodshot. He sits down in his usual chair and and strokes his chin in thought
<SavanahHolland> Nadia walks chipperly into the commonroom, a peice of toast in hand with some nutella spread of it, happily nomming away. She sits on the couch, facing Fony with the toasting in her mouth, waiting to finish nomming before speaking.
<EndPhone> "Hey. How's today been on you? You have any, Uh-" He doesn't want to actually say it
<SavanahHolland> Nadia removes the hazelnut spread toast from her mouth, finishing her chewing "Hello." she then pauses "Any what?"
<EndPhone> "With the gore? Those 'episodes'."
<SavanahHolland> Nadia faces the toast for a minute, then moving her head to face Fony once more, a big smile comming on that would probably make you or any one think that she hadn't had any, too bad that's wrong "Yes." she replied in the most positive manner you can imagine.
<EndPhone> "I see. I was hoping you'd let me look around in your mind. I might be able to find the problem, or at least find way to help you when you do have them"
<SavanahHolland> Nadia takes one last big bite of the nutella toast, licking her lips, then bringing her attention back to the boy in front of her "I would like that."
<EndPhone> "Well, I have to warn you that I might end up triggering you. It would also nullify much of your privacy"
<SavanahHolland> Privacy? Psh who needs privacy "I do not mind if you can help me." she says happily, giving the boy a wide smile, now brushing off some of the crumbs in her lap.
<EndPhone> "Okay. I can't promise anything though" FonyX links to her mind and goes back to the memories that activated when she last had an episode
<SavanahHolland> Nadia takes a deep breath with a slow nod, moving up to face the ceiling for no real reason, letting Fony page through her mind. The area you go back to, is just like last time a entire pile of memories, and all of them somehow trigger at once during her episodes. But there's two strange things, there's a huge gap in her life where memories should be, and almost all of the memories compiled, aren't even hers.
<EndPhone> FonyX opens a few of the memories, trying to avoid stimulating them.
<SavanahHolland> Nadia slowly moves both of her hands to her forehead, almost being able to tell what Fony is doing, the world for a brief second flashing obscene horrors for the girl, her breathing quickening. The first memory you open up, looks to be a slightly younger Nadia, perhaps only a year or half a year younger. She's sitting on her hospital cot, the same one you had seen it a previous memory earlier that day. The sound of rushing
<SavanahHolland>  water can  be heard over any audio in the memory. She appears to be talking to two nurses, one being a brunette and the other a blonde. She talks to them with a bright smile, as if she were reciting something from the heart, though the nurses quickly start laughing at her. Younger Nadia quickly looking confused and saying something else, the sound of water only getting louder. The memory then fades, finishing up.
<EndPhone> "Try to bear with me. Can you explain why your memories have no sound?"
<SavanahHolland> Nadia grips her head harder, squeezing her eyes shut even more so, though that certainly doesn't help "I do not.. I do not know.."
<EndPhone> "I see." FonyX looks at a memory that's not hers
<SavanahHolland> You open up another memory, one that obviously doesn't belong to her. You see a tall man with dirty blonde hair and brown eyes in blue medical scrubs, leaving a room to then see two younger children in front of him, looking to have been waiting. A young boy and girl run up to the man. He crouches down and hugs them both tightly, it would be considered a sweet moment, but the sound of rushing water starts quickly turning in
<SavanahHolland> to something more static sounding. One of the childrens face actually melting off onto the mans blue scrubs. He recoils, pushing the two children back in fear, a grown man now screaming at the top of his lungs. The scene quickly turning into something extremely similar to Nadia's own episodes, at least from what she sees, everything playing all at once, the static sound getting louder. Real life Nadia going further into th
<SavanahHolland> e couch, clutching her head and looking as if she were ready to scream.
<EndPhone> "Nadia... Where is this from? Did you cause this? Is this what you used to try and scare Sam off?"
<SavanahHolland> She clutches her head roughly, covering her closed eyes by looking down, saying in the same exact way she had told him before, but so much more disheartened "I had to.."
<EndPhone> "I believe you. It seems that your episodes are being furled by these images. Now, let's see about helping you get over your episodes. I'm going to see if I can force you to use my senses instead of yours"
<SavanahHolland> Nadia takes deep breaths, her fingers digging into her head "O-okay.." she can't really say no at this point, she felt and saw too much to even bother thinking about it.
<EndPhone> FonyX tries to force her senses away from her, and put his own in place. Even for such an abstract power, there's no way to even begin to describe what he's doing. It does cause lots of strain on his mind, however. The instant he starts, he already has a headache. He pushes through, though, trying to get this to work
<SavanahHolland> The first sense that goes through and changes is Nadia's sense of smell, the world fading from a penny smelling bloody mess to well, something normal. She could even still smell some of the nutella from earlier. Her vision then quickly following, she can feel fony's strain, but she removes her hands from her eyes, opening her real eyes, hazel shining through as she looks around the room, it was normal, it wasn't flashing b
<SavanahHolland> lood red and gore. It was like the times before her episodes when she acted normal, but somehow more.. liberating.
<EndPhone> ~Going to need you to put in some effort here~ FonyX lets back, no longer forcing her, but still making it easy for her to commit if she tries. FonyX takes a headache pill
<SavanahHolland> Her hazel eyes dialate as her harsh reality tries to fade back in, listening to Fony's unspoken words and reaching out with her mind to try to bring it back to her, and force the senses on her mind.
<EndPhone> FonyX feels his grip slipping, but refuses to let it be so. Headache be damned! Now if only he could separate his senses so Nadia didn't have to feel the pain...
<SavanahHolland> Nadia lets the pain hit her, a hand going to the side of her head as if that were going to do anything. She tries her best to keep her grip of Fony's senses, not ready to slip away from it. Looking around the room quickly as if to take in a breath of fresh air all at once.
<EndPhone> FonyX's headache pill starts to take effect, although it eases maybe 50% of his; or should I say their, pain. He checks to see if her hallucination is still happening
* SirGoldFish has quit (Ping timeout: 180 seconds)
* SirGoldFish (~LordGoldF@752D53A:19BE409C:8A243AD6:IP) has joined
<SavanahHolland> In Nadia's actual vision, or what she should see when she isn't using Fony's vision is the same horrific landscape, though its much /worse/, as soon as she lets go of your senses she's going back to the smell of blood, and a new found sound of static, it seems that the longer she will rely on your sense, the worse it will be for her when she gets back.
<EndPhone> ~It seems I'm only making it worse in the long run by blocking it off. I imagine you'd at least come away a little better able to grip my senses. This is going to be much worse than usual, so tell me when, although it's not getting any prettier in there~
<SavanahHolland> Nadia's smile fades if only slightly, this wouldn't last forever, and why should it. Nothing good has ever lasted forever for her. It was her fault for trying to reach the sun again. She takes a deep breath, closing over the rays of hazel once more ~I'm ready~
<EndPhone> ~Okay. Remember, none of the gore is real. look to the right~ FonyX sits to her left, ready to comfort her as much as possible. He then stops cutting off her own senses, but tries to push his senses onto her as much as he can, hoping she might be able to try and use them to overpower her own, like playing your music louder than the neighbour.
<SavanahHolland> Nadia turns to face the right like Fony had asked of her. And almost at once her senses are flooded with her own and Fonys, it was too much, the gore and reality flashing before her eyes, prying and tearing at her own senses, Nadia herself ready to scream. She opens her eyes, in pure pain alone, a third sense of sight added, attacking her even more as her mind flashes through all three of them not being able to stop of jus
<SavanahHolland> t one for more than a few seconds.
<EndPhone> ~Try to focus on my senses~ FonyX physically comforts her, hoping that would do something to help
<SavanahHolland> Nadia's eyes bulge slightly, it was too much, she *can't* focus on just one. Her hands going quickly to her throat, all she could think was how it was too much, her mind going blank besides those words repeated over and over. Trying to claw at her own throat, ribbons of skin laced with ruby droplets at each long scratch.
<EndPhone> FonyX sees her scratching at her throat, and immediately attempts to restrain her hands. ~Please, don't hurt yourself~ he says with an air of desperation. He stops transmitting his senses, and instead gives her as much calmness as he can possibly muster. \maybe I should have popped a pill before grabbing her
<EndPhone> \
<SavanahHolland> Nadia is a weak girl, usually relying on her own mind to take care of things, as weak as it was most times. You are able to easily restrain her hands, despite her fruitless efforts to continue clawing at her throat so she can just die already. She lets out what would be considered a soft cry, but it echos through the room and her own mind, even after being flooded with senses her head pounded, her throat now stinging painf
<SavanahHolland> ully.
<EndPhone> FonyX just continues what he's doing, distressed by his inability to help more \Dammit, Nadia. I wish I could help more. I can't afford to lose you, not now\ FonyX would've examined what he meant, but he was a little preoccupied with Nadia's horrific condition
<SavanahHolland> Nadia's body trembles, everything, when did it get so bad? She was just starting to be broken in on the smells, the sounds, the images of gore. Only for it to hold on to her torture for a little bit longer, as if her hallucinations alone were a sadistic creation. Tears fall from her clamped shut eyes, but no matter how much she doesn't want to see it, she /has/ to. She lays her side down on the couch, using her second set
<SavanahHolland> of eyes to focus on the blood washed commonroom wall. curling up, her own wings wrapping around her and holding herself tightly.
<EndPhone> ~None of it's real. Try to relax.~ FonyX continues to do whatever he can. He's being torn apart not able to do more, knowing it's his fault she's suffering so much. There are more tears coming from his eyes than hers, but all she can know of his presence is the calming words, calming gestures and actual calmness he was giving her.
* Uravlar (~Uracilo@synIRC-754537EB.cab.prima.net.ar) has joined
* Uracilo has quit (Ping timeout: 181 seconds)
* TheTrueDice has quit (Ping timeout: 182 seconds)
<SavanahHolland> ~It hurts~ The words echo like a soft whisper in both of your minds in Nadia's almost distant and painful sounding voice. The sound of static only now dulling in her ears, the calmness Fony was offering only seemed to settle her down a little, her body still shaking quiet harshly and soft sobs emitting from the curled up girl.
<EndPhone> FonyX continues to comfort her as he is until her hallucinations finish
<SavanahHolland> A few minutes later you hear the sobbing stop, almost too quickly, Nadia herself by now curled up tightly but overall not moving, the sound of breathing there but faint. She seems to have calmed down, a few more minutes pass as the hallucinations seem to drain away with sickening sounds following.
<EndPhone> Once the hallucinations are mostly gone, FonyX cuddles up to her "Shh. It's all right. It's over now. You're safe here In the commonroom, and I'm here, and it's all fine. It'll be okay, Just relax" FonyX attempts as much of a soothing tone as he can, although he doesn't do a particularly good job. He continues to do whatever he gets the sense will physically calm her the most as he continues to pump serenity into her
<SavanahHolland> Nadia takes quiet breaths, to the point where you can barely even hear them. Her voice is a little rougher, probably due to the scratched up throat and having constantly cried for the last twenty minutes. "I am.. okay.." she tries to string together the words, but its a obvious lie, she wasn't fine and she never would be.
<EndPhone> "It'll be fine. You have me. I'll always be here to comfort you and help you any way I can. /always/." FonyX didn't realize he held that sentiment until he said it, and he hugged her tighter. "I can try to make you forget, I think." FonyX's tears are still coming unstably, equal parts from the pain and the emotional stress
<SavanahHolland> Nadia moves, turning herself around to face the boy, putting on a soft smile and gingerly lifting a hand to wipe away the boys tears, she had felt pain and thats all she ever will, it was what her existance was supposed to be on earth. But not the boy that had been so kind to her, the only one that would come comfort her in what was her darkest hour of the days when the sun shined in sunnbrook "Please.. do not cry.."
<EndPhone> "It's just that this extreme horror you felt is all my fault. Once again I tried to help and only made things worse. It's really starting to tear me down. Please, let me try to make up to you. Are you okay if I try to remove the memory?" FonyX moves into the gentle caress, his tears only coming more as he speaks. Once again, he had hurt someone he cared about
* SirGoldFish has quit (Connection reset by peer)
<SavanahHolland> Nadia moves her hands to continue to wipe away the boys tears with her hand, the other holding his cheek softly, she speaks in a quiet yet kind tone "No, this is my burden, I.. I should not have brought you into it, I am doomed to it forever, but not you.. You have been kind, you have been caring. You have been the person that has helped me so very much. I am sorry." her words a gentle, and hold all of the truth in her hea
<SavanahHolland> rt. This was her reality and she would forever live it or be damned to neither heaven nor hell. Fony was a human, he was desitined to live a normal and long life, but it was not eternity. "I wish for you to be happy." in his short existance, the kind boy at least deserved that.
<EndPhone> "My happiness doesn't matter, only the happiness of others does. I'll do /anything/ to help others, especially you... I /need/ you to be alright. So, do I have your permission? I need to do /something/ to help you" FonyX at this point is leaning on her, her support the only thing keeping him up both physically and emotionally. He can't help but broadcast her the distress he's feeling, the hopelessness and futility of his actions.
<SavanahHolland> It breaks her heart to hear this from the boy, the soft smile seeming somewhat broken though still there. Why would someone think their happiness doesn't matter. Nadia would be fine, she had an eternity to survive and figure what her happiness meant. "I am alright Fony.. You do not live forever.. you have to be happy, please.. let me help you be happy.. please do not push it to the side.."
* Kioku has quit (Quit: Kioku)
<EndPhone> "My happiness would accomplish anything, but others' might. Besides, I don't deserve happiness for all the suffering I've caused. Please, let me do this for you" He begs with a level of desperation that almost seems inhuman. Although it's not being sent through the mindlink, you can still literally feel how much heartache he's going through.
<SavanahHolland> She holds his cheek with one hand, the going under his chin to lift his head to look into her now opened, hazel eyes, the faintest smile "I have hurt so many people.. but I will not hurt you.. if it will make you happy.. then do it.." she smiles a little brighter "please be happy, if only for me."
<EndPhone> "I'll... I'll try. For you" FonyX goes into her mind to find the memory of the horror that just took place in her mind and attempts to take it from her mind with all his strength. ~*/anything/* for you~
<SavanahHolland> Nadia opens up her mind to the boy, taking on a dull expression paired with her smile, holding him tighter for just a little bit longer, until soon, the memory of this will be gone. You find her memory of this quite easily, and with little effort, you remove it.
* FullMetalBitch (~FullMetal@synIRC-CDEB8321.ks.ks.cox.net) has joined
<EndPhone> FonyX finds it difficult to simply destroy the memory, so he is left with one alternative: he damages it as much as he can, and puts it into his own mind. "Better?" FonyX finds himself curling up into a ball, the horror coming into him. He bears it; for Twelve, for Val, for himself, and more importantly than anything else on earth, for sweet Nadia
<SavanahHolland> Nadia closes her hazel eyes, the memory seeming like a distant voice in the wind that carried only whispers. She speaks in a soft voice, as if her own were being carried by the same wind her memory was "I am sorry." and she meant it, it was her pain to bare alone forever, and she let a human take it. She didn't know what she could do, either way would end in pain for the boy. "I am so sorry.."
* EndPhone has quit (Ping timeout: 180 seconds)
* EndPhone (~u931732@synIRC-5E864EDC.abhsia.telus.net) has joined
<EndPhone> FonyX straightens up and looks her dead in the eye, his expression completely serious "No. Don't be sorry. I caused this horror, and so much more pain and suffering. I deserve this, not you. You never did anything to deserve this" Between everything that just happened, FonyX's brain can distract itself from the pain any more, and her crumples into Nadia, letting out a loud shriek as more pain that all the stabbings and the poison
<EndPhone> poisoning combined filled his head, like if it paused at the perfect point in an explosion
* UltimixRed has quit (Connection reset by peer)
* UltimixRed (~UltimixRe@synIRC-7E304EA8.lightspeed.chrlnc.sbcglobal.net) has joined
<SavanahHolland> Nadia holds him tightly in her arms, her left wing moving from her back to lay of the two, her face going to rest on the top of his head "This has always been my cross to bare." she holds him tighter, the memories of what had happened slipping through the cracks of her memories.
<EndPhone> FonyX can't talk over the pain, instead letting out choked sobs and heavy coughs. However, through the mindlink he sends a feeling, the concept that she has no reason to bear cross. He also can't help but send her an idea of how much pain he's feeling
<SavanahHolland> Nadia keeps her eyes shut as tight as she can, holding the boy as what had happened seemed like it was just a dream she had woken up from and was slowly forgetting. Her mind peicing apart the memory slowly "This was always my pain, I am sorry.." she finds herself unable to remember anything of what had happened, but not reacting, as if she had fallen asleep.
* FullMetalBitch has quit (Quit: )
<EndPhone> FonyX is twitching a little in pain. "Pain...Pill... pocket..." he pieces together as he attempts to occupy the same space as Nadia, a smile coming to his face despite the pain. As long as she was happy, he would be willing to endure hell
<SavanahHolland> Nadia moves slowly, as if in a sleepy state, not understanding her actions, but instead doing them to probably be forgotten in her haze. Moving her hand to his pocket, pulling out a pill like he hand said, handing it over to him with slow movements, actually looking as if she were in a peaceful sleep.
<EndPhone> FonyX grabs the pill and barely remembers to remove the packaging before he swallows it, glad he bought instant relief as the pain became bearable. "Thank you Nadia." as FonyX looks her in the eyes, something keeps him there, and his face slowly moves in
<SavanahHolland> Nadia's eyes are closed, she doesn't seem to hear the words, her mind wandering and the girl in a daze. She doesn't seem to mind as he moves in closer, but she may not even notice it. Lost to her own thoughts and her mind piecing together what was left of the memory.
<EndPhone> FonyX wouldn't ever admit it, but he had no control over himself as he moved in to kiss her. He was flooded with reward hormones as he kissed her as long as she'd allow it, slowly getting more into it: putting one hand behind her head, rubbing her back, adding tongue. As it went on, his mind lost all thoughts that aren't Nadia, and how much he loved her. He /loved/ her. It sounded so nice in his head, it echoed over and over, eac
<EndPhone> it echoed over and over, each time sending more pleasure, all culminating in a vicious cycle of bliss that puts the feeling she gave him in the hospital to shame
<SavanahHolland> Nadia at the moment really couldn't do anything to prevent it, her own lips unmoving other than the life you put into it. Nadia was too hazy, she couldn't wrap her brain what was even going on, after everything that had happened, after her mind working overtime trying to forget and reforge, she was mentally and physically tired. So she lies there, taking it, even if she can't pull away or lean in.
<EndPhone> as much as it will shame him when he comes to his senses, FonyX takes her non-reaction as permission to continue, his rational mind suppressed by all the hormones and stress and pain. He is finally understanding what it's like to crave someone more than just the neural-transmitters involved.
<SavanahHolland> Nadia lays there, completely still besides the soft breathing comming from her mouth as it happens. Nadia is still awake, but just barely, she continues to not move, but you can tell she almost seems slightly more awake, saying softly in her mind ~..Fony...?~
* Rose27 has quit (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
<EndPhone> ~Yes?~ Ah, the perks of telepathy, such as not having to stop kissing to converse
<SavanahHolland> ~What are you...~ She goes quiet, she isn't ready yet to actually start thinking about it, it would only confuse her anyways, finding herself starting to drift off once more.
<EndPhone> ~what do you mean 'what am I'?~ FonyX taps her lightly on the arm to keep her awake
<SavanahHolland> Nadia is kept on the edge of being awake and sleep, but barely able, she was tired, probably more so than she should be ~what are you doing..?~ she says in a even quieter tone.
* Rose27 (Mibbit@synIRC-48D13E94.hsd1.mn.comcast.net) has joined
<EndPhone> ~What do you mean?~ that got him to stop, his head moving a little away from her, much against both his will and desires, but this had to be addressed. He pinches her a little, not enough to hurt much, but enough to keep her awake another minute
<SavanahHolland> ~Why.. why were you kissing me..?~ she says softly, as quiet as she could possibly make it. Nadia knew what kissing was, and what it implied, but she couldn't wrap her head around what you were supposed to feel, how were you even supposed to react?
<EndPhone> ~because I love you. I can prove it if you want~
<SavanahHolland> Nadia moves back a little from him, but is still close ~I do not..~ She shakes a little bit, she doesn't understand, she does understand but.. she just knows what it means, she has no idea what it feels like or if she even feels the same way. Maybe he just means it in a friendly way? She could at least understand then.. but that wouldn't make sense, ~I.. I am sorry..~
<EndPhone> ~I...I...~ FonyX is obviously crushed by this and, for a brief moment, everything turned to the gore and horror he had stolen from her mind ~n-n-No! That can't be true! You have to feel like this!~ FonyX sends her his feelings of love, trying to not just make her 'spectate' as transmission usually does, but trying hard to imprint them on her, replacing her as the subject with him. The thought doesn't even cross his mind that he m
<EndPhone> The thought doesn't even cross his mind that he might be subjecting her will. All that he cares about is that she loves him back
<EndPhone> subjugating*
<SavanahHolland> ~I just..~ she finds herself cut off from her own words, spectating the show that was broadcasted to her of his emotions. She doesn't know how to feel the same, the emotions easily imprint on her. A few tears streaming down her face as some of her own will is taken from her, but she doesn't even know. As if a inner part of herself was crying for her. The words seem somewhat dull, though they are her own ~Okay~
<EndPhone> ~What do you mean 'okay'?~ FonyX hopes it worked
<SavanahHolland> ~I love you too~ the words sound dull, but come out smooth as silk, it had worked. More tears falling from her closed eyes as that little part of her screams out in her own head for only her to hear.
<EndPhone> ~Wonderful~ FonyX leans in for another kiss, not quite bridging the distance by himself, waiting for her to complete the move
<SavanahHolland> Nadia's usual smile now seems very lackluster, fading for her to lean in to the kiss completing it for the duo, though she doesn't particularly get far in to it. More cold tears streaming down her face.
<EndPhone> FonyX doesn't notice, not that he'd be in a position to care if he did. Once again, there was only one thing keeping him alive
<SavanahHolland> Nadia lets the kiss happen, everything telling her to continue, make it last longer. But somehow the little voice that screams at her in the back of her mind stopping her from putting much effort. Soon after this kiss ends laying in Fony's arms, closing her eyes, the tears still pouring from her closed eyes, drifting off to sleep, in the arms of her new nightmare.
<EndPhone> FonyX feels her mind open as she falls asleep, and can't resist. He takes all the feelings he has of her and associates them in her mind with him, even going back and adding trace amounts to her older memories of him. He does get a little carried away though, adding a touch of subservience to him. Eventually FonyX will realize and regret these actions, but at the moment he's just a depressed boy making sure that his love, the only thing keeping him alive, stays with him. He cuddles up to her as much as much as their physical position allows, and his last thought as he drifts off to sleep is ~I'll do anything for you, my love. /*anything at all*/