Don't like ads? PRO users don't see any ads ;-)
Public Pastes
Guest

> Cucali: Be a huge rude gus. The rudest of gusses.

By: CuppaCoffee on May 25th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 13.46 KB  |  hits: 23  |  expires: Never
download  |  raw  |  embed  |  report abuse  |  print
Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)
  1. -- absoluteAltitude [AA] began trolling nitroMerc [NM] at 08:43 --
  2. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  is sitting on the couch, reading some romance novel or another. It's pretty tame, really, but it's more than engaging enough to keep her attention! --
  3. -- nitroMerc [NM]  is of course, bored again. And what does she do when she's bored? Bother Paloma, of course! --
  4. -- nitroMerc [NM]  sneaks up behind her, trying to see what she's up to. --
  5. -- absoluteAltitude's [AA'S]  book is lovingly describing a flushed reunion, of two trolls once seperated by different squads who have now managed to unite on the same battleship. --
  6. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  seems entirely unaware of Cucali... --
  7. -- nitroMerc [NM] is now an idle chum! --
  8. -- nitroMerc [NM]  suddenly leans over the couch, intruding her personal space to get all up and close to her face. --
  9. NM: Heeeeeeeey!
  10. NM: Whatcha readin'?
  11. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  blushes, closing up the book quickly as she looks to Cucali. --
  12. AA: <\ No, nothing! It's just a story! />
  13. NM: ☼☼☼☼h, a st☼ry? Ab☼ut what??
  14. NM: Let me see!
  15. -- nitroMerc [NM]  reaches for the book. --
  16. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  holds it out of Cucali's reach. --
  17. AA: <\ It, it's nothing you would be interested in! Just a little romance! />
  18. NM: Y☼u're such a sap!
  19. -- nitroMerc [NM]  leeeeans over further to reach it! She might be almost tipping here. --
  20. AA: <\ Whoa, careful! />
  21. NM: Then give me the stupid b☼☼k s☼ I can make fun ☼f it!
  22. AA: <\ But! />
  23. -- nitroMerc [NM]  vaults over and plonks next to Paloma. --
  24. NM: But whaaaat? Are y☼u g☼nna blush and stammer at me s☼me m☼re?
  25. AA: <\ Well, well yes, but that's not the point! Why do you always have to make fun of the things I like?! />
  26. NM: Because it's fuuuun, dumb☼!
  27. -- nitroMerc [NM]  leeeeans into Paloma this time to try to reach for the book. --
  28. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  blushes, holding the book away, but without the couch between them she doesn't have much chance of keeping Cucali from it. --
  29. -- nitroMerc [NM]  transitions to leaning over her lap to try to snatch the book. --
  30. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  is foiled by a lucky grab on Cucali's end! She loses her book to the terrible clutches of the bombster. --
  31. NM: Leeeeeet's see what lewd material y☼u g☼t here!
  32. AA: <\ It, it isn't lewd! />
  33. NM: I bet it is! That's why y☼u're stammerin'!
  34. AA: <\ No, no it is not! />
  35. NM: CHAPTER SEVEN!
  36. NM: ...
  37. -- nitroMerc [NM]  reads it and finds that it's not as racy as she thought it would be. Wow boring. She tosses it over. --
  38. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  catches it with a huff. --
  39. NM: Geeeeez, even y☼ur dumb r☼mances aren't interestin'!
  40. AA: <\ What were you expecting?! />
  41. NM: S☼methin' interestin' t☼ make fun ☼f!
  42. AA: <\ This, this is plenty interesting! />
  43. NM: H☼☼☼☼w?
  44. NM: All I see is b☼rin' sexual tensi☼n!!
  45. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  blushes. --
  46. AA: <\ That's not all there is to it at all! />
  47. NM: ☼☼☼h, tell me then!
  48. NM: When d☼es the acti☼n start, huh?
  49. AA: <\ There's an entire dramatic plot underpinning their romance! They can't be together unless their squadrons merge, so they have to assist a covert overthrowing of their commanders! />
  50. AA: <\ If they're caught, they'd be killed - or worse! />
  51. AA: <\ But they go through with it anyway because they can't bear to be apart! />
  52. NM: That is s☼☼☼☼☼ stupid!
  53. AA: <\ It is NOT stupid! />
  54. NM: It's incredibly stupid!
  55. NM: Wh☼'d be stupid en☼ugh t☼ d☼ that f☼r pity??
  56. AA: <\ It's not stupid! It's true pity! />
  57. NM: Ha! Like that exists!
  58. AA: <\ It, it does! />
  59. NM: Then sh☼w me, dummy!
  60. NM: ☼h wait, y☼u can't!
  61. NM: Because it d☼esn't! Exist!
  62. AA: <\ It does! I know it does! />
  63. AA: <\ Even you should be able to see that! What about your moirail? />
  64. NM: Eh! I was kiiiiinda c☼erced int☼ that. S☼ I dunn☼ if that really c☼unts!
  65. AA: <\ But you pity her, don't you? />
  66. NM: What's it matter t☼ y☼u??
  67. AA: <\ If you pity her, surely you know that true pity must exist! />
  68. NM: Ha! D☼ y☼u think all types ☼f pity is true pity??
  69. AA: <\ No... but you must know that where one sort exists, so does another! />
  70. NM: Save y☼ur breath! I d☼n't believe in that kinda bs!
  71. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  sighs, shaking her head. --
  72. AA: <\ I can't convince you, huh? />
  73. -- nitroMerc [NM]  smiles. --
  74. NM: N☼☼☼☼☼pe!
  75. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  reaches over and shoves Cucali's shoulder lightly. --
  76. AA: <\ Then you're a dummy! />
  77. -- nitroMerc [NM]  frowns and shoves her back. --
  78. NM: Well, y☼u're the bigger dummy f☼r believin' in stupid grub st☼ries!
  79. AA: <\ My stories make me happy! How happy are you in your scroogey mindset? />
  80. NM: Perfectly happy!!
  81. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  grins. --
  82. AA: <\ Really? />
  83. NM: Um, duuuuh? I mean, c'm☼n, I'm radiatin' c☼ntentment here!!
  84. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  reaaaches over and holds a hand over Cucali's shoulder, as if she's checking for something. --
  85. AA: <\ ... nope! I can't feel a single contentment wave. />
  86. -- nitroMerc [NM]  shoves her again, grinning. --
  87. NM: Liiiiiar! I am perfectly happy, dumbass!!
  88. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  grins back to her. --
  89. NM: I'm the m☼st fuckin' c☼ntent tr☼ll ☼n Alternia! I g☼t everythin' g☼ing f☼r me!
  90. AA: <\ Good. You'd better be happy, Cucali. />
  91. AA: <\ 'Cause if you're not, the Happiness Drones are gonna come take you away. />
  92. AA: <\ And do you know how sad I'd be if that happened? I would be so sad. />
  93. NM: Ha ha! What kinda lame m☼nster is that?? Try harder, m☼☼☼☼ssybl☼☼d!
  94. NM: An' I d☼n't care if y☼u're sad ☼r n☼t, just sayin'!
  95. -- absoluteAltitude's [AA'S]  grin gets some smirky overtones to it. Yeah. Suuure she doesn't. --
  96. -- nitroMerc [NM]  doesn't like the look that Paloma suddenly has ;/ What is she so smug about?? --
  97. NM: Whaaaat? Y☼u d☼ubtin' me?
  98. AA: <\ No, no! Not at all! />
  99. NM: Y☼ur dumb, ugly face says ☼therwise!!
  100. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  clears her throat against a curled fist, schooling her expression into neutrality. It isn't a very good mask. --
  101. AA: <\ You were saying? />
  102. -- nitroMerc [NM]  leans uncomfortably close to her face. --
  103. NM: I'm sayin' that y☼u're a liiiiiar!
  104. -- absoluteAltitude's [AA'S]  neutrality falls under the weight of Paloma's grin. And her blush. Of course there's a blush. --
  105. AA: <\ Ehehe, why would I lie to you? />
  106. NM: Because y☼u're tryin' t☼ be smart with me! Which I sh☼uld've expected fr☼m s☼me dumb l☼wbl☼☼d!!
  107. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  sticks her tongue out at Cucali. --
  108. AA: <\ For your information, I didn't say anything. />
  109. NM: Y☼ur face said en☼ugh!!
  110. AA: <\ My face can't talk, silly! />
  111. AA: <\ ... I mean, aside from the obvious. />
  112. NM: It d☼esn't need t☼ talk, because aaaaall y☼ur em☼ti☼ns are written all ☼ver y☼ur face!
  113. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  blushes at that, stammering a little. --
  114. AA: <\ No, not all of them... />
  115. NM: I can read y☼u like ☼ne ☼f y☼ur stupid r☼mances, m☼☼☼☼☼ssy!
  116. AA: <\ But... />
  117. NM: But whaaaat?
  118. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  looks away, still blushing. --
  119. AA: <\ No, nothing...  />
  120. NM: See? Lyin' t☼ my face again!!
  121. AA: <\ Let, let me clarify, nothing you'd be interested in! />
  122. NM: ☼☼☼☼☼☼☼h?
  123. NM: H☼w d☼ y☼u kn☼w??
  124. NM: Why d☼n't y☼u tell me, huh?
  125. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  is starting to look a little uncomfortable! Mission accomplished?! --
  126. AA: <\ I, I was just going to say that, but if you can read me so well, why, why don't you call me out? />
  127. -- nitroMerc [NM] is now an idle chum! --
  128. NM: Y☼u're blushin' because I'm cl☼se t☼ y☼u an' because I'm makin' fun ☼f y☼ur dumb b☼☼ks!!
  129. NM: That right?
  130. AA: <\ That, I... I guess... />
  131. NM: Aaaand when the pr☼tag☼nists are thiiiis cl☼se t☼gether in y☼ur dumb b☼☼ks, they kiiiiss, right?
  132. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  blushes furiously, still not looking at Cucali. Her silence is damning! --
  133. NM: Is thaaat what y☼u want?
  134. AA: <\ I... />
  135. -- nitroMerc [NM]  stays where she is, her smirk beyond smug. --
  136. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  whispers, --
  137. AA: <\ ... I know you wouldn't... />
  138. NM: Kiiiiiiss y☼u, y☼u mean?
  139. -- absoluteAltitude's [AA'S]  breath catches in her throat. Oh god no stop thinking of that. --
  140. AA: <\ Y, yeah... />
  141. NM: Weeeell, y☼u kn☼w what?
  142. -- nitroMerc [NM]  suddenly pulls away. --
  143. NM: Y☼u're right!!
  144. NM: I d☼n't give a shit ab☼ut y☼u! Why w☼uld I even want t☼ kiss y☼u anyway??
  145. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  blushes, looking generally uncomfortable with her life as she loosely folds her arms. --
  146. AA: <\ Cucali... why do you have to keep messing with me like this? />
  147. -- nitroMerc [NM]  shrugs! --
  148. NM: I'm b☼☼☼☼red! What, I g☼tta have a reas☼n?
  149. NM: ☼h my g☼d, y☼u're g☼nna give me a wh☼le lecture ab☼ut h☼w I sh☼uld behave, aren't y☼u??
  150. AA: <\ N, no... />
  151. NM: Y☼u are!! Y☼u're g☼in' t☼ talk ab☼ut feelings and shit with me!
  152. AA: <\ You say that as if you want me to go on about it! />
  153. NM: N☼ I'm n☼t!
  154. NM: I'm just saaaaayin' what I think y☼u're g☼nna d☼!
  155. AA: <\ Well maybe you're right! Maybe I'm going to tell you that you should respect my feelings! />
  156. NM: I'm n☼t 'maybe' right!
  157. NM: I'm always right!
  158. AA: <\ You, you really shouldn't just treat me as a plaything when you're bored you know! />
  159. NM: Why n☼t?? Y☼u pretty much are a plaything already!!
  160. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  bites at her lip. --
  161. AA: <\ I'm not a plaything, Cucali. />
  162. NM: Y☼u are t☼ me!
  163. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  sighs. --
  164. AA: <\ At least I'm something... />
  165. NM: Whaaaat? Are y☼u happy with that??
  166. AA: <\ You can read me with a book, so can't you tell? />
  167. -- nitroMerc [NM]  rolls her eye. --
  168. NM: Maybe I'd just like t☼ hear it fr☼m y☼ur ☼wn lips!!
  169. NM: It's b☼rin' t☼ keep tellin' y☼u what I see!!
  170. AA: <\ ... of course I'm not happy with that. />
  171. NM: Are y☼u crushed that I didn't fall head ☼ver heels int☼ y☼ur arms??
  172. AA: <\ No, that's not it, I just... />
  173. NM: St☼p stallin' and tell me!
  174. AA: <\ ... />
  175. AA: <\ I... I'd rather not, okay? />
  176. NM: Aaaw, are y☼u afraid that I'm g☼nna hurt y☼u again?
  177. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  bites at her lip and doesn't answer, looking away. Translation: Yes. --
  178. -- nitroMerc [NM]  scoffs. --
  179. NM: Well, here's y☼ur less☼n that y☼ur dumb r☼mance n☼vels are aaaaaall fakey-fake and stupid!
  180. AA: <\ I don't believe that... />
  181. NM: Stupid, stupid, stupiiiid, as usual!
  182. NM: Y☼u're just a dumb m☼ssybl☼☼d wh☼ d☼esn't kn☼w reality!!
  183. AA: <\ I, I know reality. />
  184. AA: <\ I just choose to believe. />
  185. NM: Well, y☼u ch☼☼se t☼ believe in shit that'll never c☼me true, then.
  186. AA: <\ ... I guess I'm just weird like that. />
  187. -- nitroMerc [NM] is now an idle chum! --
  188. NM: Whaaaat? N☼ c☼mplaints?
  189. AA: <\ It's clear I can't change your mind, and wouldn't it be impolite to try? You've made it clear you're not interested. />
  190. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  actually has a reasonably good poker face about that. Because it's /important/ Cucali doesn't know that Paloma knows she likes her. She can't stop herself from looking a little fond, though. --
  191. NM: Entertaaaaaain me, m☼ssybl☼☼d!
  192. NM: Isn't that what slaaaaaves are f☼r?
  193. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  didn't seem to like /that/. She glares at Cucali. --
  194. AA: <\ I'm not your slave. I'm your friend. />
  195. -- nitroMerc [NM]  smiiiirks. --
  196. NM: What makes y☼u think that?
  197. AA: <\ You're helping me, aren't you? />
  198. NM: Because it's useful t☼ have a g☼☼d little l☼wbl☼☼d ☼n haaaaand, ☼f c☼urse!
  199. AA: <\ That's, that's not the reason and you know it. />
  200. NM: ☼h really?
  201. NM: What's my reas☼n then??
  202. NM: My reeeeeeal reas☼n, since y☼u kn☼w me s☼ well!
  203. AA: <\ It, it's because you're we're friends. />
  204. AA: ((*you're, we're))
  205. -- nitroMerc [NM]  puts a hand on her head, gripping her hair. --
  206. NM: Is that what y☼u think??
  207. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  stares Cucali down, unflinching. --
  208. AA: <\ Yes. />
  209. -- nitroMerc [NM]  yanks her by the hair forward. --
  210. AA: <\ Nnh- />
  211. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  gets yanked. She throws a hand out to support herself on the couch. --
  212. NM: Reeeeeally? W☼uld y☼u still think that way if I kicked y☼u ar☼und like a barkbeast??
  213. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  grits her teeth, glaring up at Cucali. --
  214. AA: <\ I really wish you wouldn't. But I know that's how you are. />
  215. AA: <\ Always gotta prove yourself. Gotta prove you don't care, that you're you're a strong independent troll. />
  216. AA: <\ I understand, okay? />
  217. NM: Wr☼ng! I d☼n't have t☼ pr☼ve anythin'!
  218. -- nitroMerc [NM]  lets go and bends down. --
  219. NM: Y☼u understand jack shit ab☼ut me.
  220. AA: <\ Alright, okay... />
  221. NM: D☼ y☼u get it n☼☼☼☼w?
  222. AA: <\ ... you're dangerous. I know that already. />
  223. NM: Then keep that in mind that we're n☼t friends an' we'll never be friends.
  224. AA: <\ Cucali... />
  225. NM: D☼ y☼u wanna get hit again?
  226. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  looks away. --
  227. AA: <\ ... no. />
  228. -- nitroMerc [NM]  speaks in a low voice: --
  229. NM: Then d☼n't call me y☼ur friend.
  230. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  flinches. --
  231. AA: <\ Sorry... />
  232. NM: Glad we g☼t that cleared up then.
  233. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  swallows at a lump in her throat. --
  234. NM: G☼ back t☼ readin' y☼ur stupid n☼vels.
  235. AA: <\ ... />
  236. AA: <\ I... okay. />
  237. -- nitroMerc [NM]  leaves to go keep watch around the hive. Let the mossblood do whatever it is she does. --
  238. -- absoluteAltitude [AA]  curls up on the couch, burying her head against her knees. Stupid seadweller and her stupid being mean... --
  239. -- nitroMerc [NM] gave up trolling absoluteAltitude [AA] at 12:05 --
create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data