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  1. (09:05:39 PM) mode (+nt ) by excelsior.esper.net
  2. (09:06:12 PM) Captain_Wafer[man] [Waferman@ool-18e48920.dyn.optonline.net] entered the room.
  3. (09:06:23 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!!!
  4. (09:06:45 PM) Trihan [mail@user-5441adf3.lns2-c7.dsl.pol.co.uk] entered the room.
  5. (09:06:54 PM) Kallen_R [Mibbit@host-66-205-103-75.classicnet.net] entered the room.
  6. (09:07:06 PM) Kallen_R: What? What did I do!
  7. (09:07:10 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!!!
  8. (09:07:20 PM) Trihan: I suggest that under absolutely no circumstances should the duel take the form of a slash-off starring forum members.
  9. (09:07:24 PM) Kallen_R: I'm not in the duel, am I?
  10. (09:07:34 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: no.
  11. (09:07:35 PM) [zz]: Trihan: well obviously
  12. (09:07:49 PM) Kallen_R: Sweet.
  13. (09:07:49 PM) sfou [sfou@modemcable222.248-56-74.mc.videotron.ca] entered the room.
  14. (09:07:55 PM) sfou: have i won yet?
  15. (09:07:56 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: the last time that happened  bad thing happened
  16. (09:08:02 PM) Scarfington [Mibbit@c-98-246-164-178.hsd1.or.comcast.net] entered the room.
  17. (09:08:02 PM) [zz]: OKAY
  18. (09:08:05 PM) Scarfington: YES
  19. (09:08:10 PM) Scarfington: I LIKE THIS ROOM.
  20. (09:08:10 PM) Kallen_R: So duel already.
  21. (09:08:10 PM) sfou: the format of the duel will be:
  22. (09:08:14 PM) sfou: an apathy duel
  23. (09:08:18 PM) [zz]: No, everyone else picks it
  24. (09:08:21 PM) Scarfington: Eh. No cards?
  25. (09:08:29 PM) [zz]: Oh I've got cards
  26. (09:08:32 PM) Scarfington: I'd rather have cards.
  27. (09:08:32 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: wait sfou
  28. (09:08:32 PM) Scarfington left the room.
  29. (09:08:39 PM) [zz]: I got your yugimon cards out the ass
  30. (09:08:47 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: the next boobslave update will have to be its last
  31. (09:08:52 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: why not do it now
  32. (09:09:08 PM) sfou: because a good enough command has not been posted yet *wink wink*
  33. (09:09:41 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: uh okay
  34. (09:09:53 PM) [zz]: GORBLESNATCH VON HUMPERDINK
  35. (09:09:54 PM) [zz]: NOT
  36. (09:09:57 PM) [zz]: GOOD ENOUGH?
  37. (09:10:07 PM) [zz]: anyway
  38. (09:10:20 PM) ***sfou pounces [zz] and rips out his throat with a spoon
  39. (09:10:21 PM) mode (+o Captain_Wafer[man]) by [zz]
  40. (09:10:23 PM) SleepingOrange [Mibbit@c-67-171-129-42.hsd1.wa.comcast.net] entered the room.
  41. (09:10:31 PM) mode (-o [zz]) by [zz]
  42. (09:10:43 PM) [zz]: Alright, Captain_Wafer[man], you can pick a format or whatever
  43. (09:10:49 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: Uh
  44. (09:10:53 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: Mario Kart
  45. (09:10:53 PM) sfou: darn
  46. (09:10:54 PM) SleepingOrange: What on earth is happening?
  47. (09:10:57 PM) sfou: i thought i won already
  48. (09:11:00 PM) sfou: why am i doing this
  49. (09:11:01 PM) DimJim [chatzilla@74.204.134.69] entered the room.
  50. (09:11:05 PM) [zz]: okay
  51. (09:11:05 PM) sfou: what will i gain by defeating you
  52. (09:11:10 PM) TheDarkNerd [Mibbit@S01060016cbc426dc.gv.shawcable.net] entered the room.
  53. (09:11:11 PM) [zz]: TEXT MARIO KART
  54. (09:11:15 PM) DimJim: i bet uhh
  55. (09:11:17 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: you have to kill someone who is currently playing mario kart
  56. (09:11:22 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: like
  57. (09:11:23 PM) TheDarkNerd left the room.
  58. (09:11:31 PM) DimJim: ten jellybeans on [zz]
  59. (09:11:35 PM) [zz]: Okay, so the guy with the cloud has the thing going
  60. (09:11:38 PM) [zz]: Like the starty thing
  61. (09:11:42 PM) sfou: okay
  62. (09:11:43 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: stab yoshi in the middle of rainbow road
  63. (09:11:44 PM) [zz]: It's at the top light
  64. (09:11:49 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: GO
  65. (09:11:49 PM) Kallen_R: Seven clowns on sfou
  66. (09:11:54 PM) sfou: VVRRROOOOMMM
  67. (09:12:03 PM) [zz]: VRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM
  68. (09:12:04 PM) ***sfou finds a blue shell!
  69. (09:12:10 PM) [zz]: (that means I go faster)
  70. (09:12:10 PM) Boinciel [daveaud@brndmb02dc1-4-216.dynamic.mts.net] entered the room.
  71. (09:12:12 PM) [zz]: dammit
  72. (09:12:15 PM) [zz]: I stop
  73. (09:12:19 PM) sfou: VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
  74. (09:12:28 PM) [zz]: hohoho now you're in first
  75. (09:12:32 PM) sfou: er
  76. (09:12:33 PM) sfou: this lacks structure
  77. (09:12:42 PM) [zz]: I get a ghost!
  78. (09:12:48 PM) sfou: i use the shell
  79. (09:12:49 PM) Boinciel: I USE MY CATAPULT TURTLE TO LAUNCH MY KNIGHT INTO YOUR FLYING CASTLE SHATTERING ITS FLOTATION RING AND CAUSING IT TO COLLAPSE ON TOP OF ALL YOUR MONSTERS
  80. (09:12:49 PM) sfou: NOW
  81. (09:12:51 PM) DimJim: sfou
  82. (09:12:53 PM) Boinciel: HA-HA.
  83. (09:12:55 PM) DimJim: you just hit yourself didn't you
  84. (09:12:56 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: YOU HAVE TO STAB YOSHI
  85. (09:13:01 PM) Trihan: Screw the rules, I have money!
  86. (09:13:06 PM) sfou: OH SHIT THERE'S YOSHI
  87. (09:13:10 PM) [zz]: I ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM FORWARD
  88. (09:13:13 PM) [zz]: I see Yoshi
  89. (09:13:13 PM) DimJim: or does blue shell hit the person in second place if you're in first
  90. (09:13:15 PM) ***sfou stops next to yoshi
  91. (09:13:18 PM) Kallen_R: Screw the rules, I have ignorance.
  92. (09:13:23 PM) Trihan: I think it goes around to the last person.
  93. (09:13:28 PM) [zz]: I notice he has a knive
  94. (09:13:32 PM) [zz]: *knife
  95. (09:13:35 PM) Trihan: Actually I can't remember.
  96. (09:13:36 PM) [zz]: I ghost him
  97. (09:13:40 PM) [zz]: I get the knife
  98. (09:13:46 PM) [zz]: I GO UP TO YOSHI
  99. (09:13:47 PM) sfou: good thing i am bowser!
  100. (09:13:52 PM) sfou: i stab yoshi with my tooth
  101. (09:13:53 PM) DimJim: Blue shell hits guy in first
  102. (09:14:01 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: SFOU WINS
  103. (09:14:04 PM) [zz]: Yeah well I'm GIGA BOWSER
  104. (09:14:06 PM) [zz]: WAIT
  105. (09:14:12 PM) [zz]: HE'S NOT QUITE DEAD
  106. (09:14:19 PM) sfou: i did stab him though o_o;
  107. (09:14:20 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: OH YOU ARE RIGHT
  108. (09:14:28 PM) [zz]: Yoshi looks up and says "dammit I got stabbed"
  109. (09:14:31 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: STILL, SFOU WINS
  110. (09:14:34 PM) [zz]: I SHANK HIM IN THE BRAIN
  111. (09:14:39 PM) [zz]: REPEATEDLY
  112. (09:14:42 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: uh
  113. (09:14:52 PM) sfou: i push [zz] off the edge of the course
  114. (09:14:53 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: who, yoshi or sfou
  115. (09:14:54 PM) DimJim: YOU KILL PICCOLO
  116. (09:15:06 PM) [zz]: I pull you down with me!
  117. (09:15:10 PM) DimJim left the room (Kicked by Captain_Wafer[man] (DimJim)).
  118. (09:15:19 PM) sfou: good thing i am peach!
  119. (09:15:21 PM) sfou: i float back up
  120. (09:15:22 PM) [zz]: And while we're falling to our deaths, I SHANK YOU IN THE BRAIN
  121. (09:15:25 PM) [zz]: REPEATEDLY
  122. (09:15:32 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: hmm
  123. (09:15:34 PM) [zz]: Suddenly I reveal
  124. (09:15:40 PM) [zz]: That I'm actually Mario!
  125. (09:15:41 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: reality is branching
  126. (09:15:45 PM) [zz]: With the wing cap!
  127. (09:15:48 PM) [zz]: I fly back up
  128. (09:16:01 PM) [zz]: And pull out my mini gun
  129. (09:16:04 PM) sfou: the sight of the underside of my dress tantalizes you!
  130. (09:16:07 PM) [zz]: And shoot you repeatedly
  131. (09:16:09 PM) sfou: you fall to your death
  132. (09:16:13 PM) sfou: ...while shooting me?
  133. (09:16:25 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: EVERYBODY DIES
  134. (09:16:26 PM) [zz]: I pause the game and turn on a low-gravity mod!
  135. (09:16:35 PM) [zz]: I fall extremely slowly!
  136. (09:16:41 PM) sfou: i switch controllers and pick up toad!
  137. (09:16:43 PM) [zz]: I get the rocket launcher and right-click!
  138. (09:16:47 PM) sfou: TOAD WINS THE RACE!
  139. (09:16:53 PM) [zz]: So now I'm riding a rocket!
  140. (09:17:01 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: uh
  141. (09:17:09 PM) [zz]: I get behind Toad and jump off!
  142. (09:17:22 PM) [zz]: Toad loses by virtue of no longer existing!
  143. (09:17:39 PM) sfou: b-b-b-but there are no rocket launchers in mario kart
  144. (09:17:53 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: but there are bullet bills
  145. (09:18:06 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: [zz], did you mean a bullet bill?
  146. (09:18:07 PM) sfou: DARN
  147. (09:18:11 PM) Kallen_R: This just lost any honor of an actual duel, I think...
  148. (09:18:12 PM) sfou: no he didn't!
  149. (09:18:16 PM) Captain_Wafer[man] left the room (quit: Read error: Connection reset by peer).
  150. (09:18:20 PM) [zz]: yeah well that's why we're playing Unreal Tournament 2000
  151. (09:18:22 PM) sfou: i shank [zz] in the brain and pick up his controller!
  152. (09:18:45 PM) [zz]: I receive medical attention from Dr. Stiles!
  153. (09:18:50 PM) Captain_Wafer[man] [Waferman@ool-18e48920.dyn.optonline.net] entered the room.
  154. (09:18:52 PM) sfou: i turn the game off and head upstairs to sleep with his mom
  155. (09:19:01 PM) [zz]: He brings me back to life!
  156. (09:19:03 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: DID I MISS THE CLIMAX
  157. (09:19:09 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: oh my
  158. (09:19:13 PM) sfou: [zz]'s mom gives birth to 25 of my babies
  159. (09:19:29 PM) [zz]: Yeah well you didn't know your sister was cosplaying as my mom
  160. (09:19:33 PM) sfou: (you missed:
  161. (09:19:35 PM) sfou: [22:20] <[zz]> yeah well that's why we're playing Unreal Tournament 2000
  162. (09:19:35 PM) sfou: [22:20] <sfou> i shank [zz] in the brain and pick up his controller!
  163. (09:19:35 PM) sfou: [22:20] <[zz]> I receive medical attention from Dr. Stiles!)
  164. (09:19:54 PM) [zz]: And that actually it was your sister
  165. (09:19:57 PM) sfou: good thing i said i was sleeping with your mom and not my sister
  166. (09:20:01 PM) [zz]: Who gave birth to 25 children!
  167. (09:20:05 PM) [zz]: Of yours!
  168. (09:20:07 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: uh
  169. (09:20:09 PM) [zz]: Just now!
  170. (09:20:37 PM) [zz]: Anyway I shank your mom in the brain
  171. (09:20:40 PM) [zz]: REPEATEDLY
  172. (09:20:55 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: OKAY STOP
  173. (09:21:04 PM) sfou: i teach my 25 pad-footed inbred children how to swim
  174. (09:21:08 PM) [zz]: I SHANK Captain_Wafer[man] IN THE BRAIN
  175. (09:21:10 PM) sfou: they become frogpeople
  176. (09:21:11 PM) [zz]: REPEATEDLY
  177. (09:21:11 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: who has committed the least felonies
  178. (09:21:18 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: DAMMIT
  179. (09:21:25 PM) [zz]: NOW YOU ARE DEAD
  180. (09:21:29 PM) [zz]: PWNED
  181. (09:21:31 PM) [zz]: BITCHES
  182. (09:21:54 PM) sfou: i get myself a bathysphere and go live at the bottom of the ocean with my frogchildren
  183. (09:21:55 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: sfou wins because he did not betray me
  184. (09:21:58 PM) sfou: i live a long peaceful life
  185. (09:22:03 PM) [zz]: I do important scientific research on the frogchildren
  186. (09:22:31 PM) [zz]: 13 of them die when I "accidentally" mix in all the drugs in the world!
  187. (09:22:45 PM) [zz]: The other 12 are permanently in a coma!
  188. (09:22:55 PM) sfou: dude
  189. (09:23:01 PM) sfou: you forgot to put on an underwater suit
  190. (09:23:03 PM) sfou: :/
  191. (09:23:05 PM) sfou: you drown
  192. (09:23:07 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: yeah sfou still wins beacuse [zz] is a dick
  193. (09:23:13 PM) [zz]: For the next 18 years I mock you in the hospital until security escorts me away!
  194. (09:23:14 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: also he drowned
  195. (09:23:24 PM) [zz]: yeah well that doesn't matter
  196. (09:23:33 PM) Kallen_R left the room (quit: Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client).
  197. (09:23:37 PM) [zz]: Because I'm a fish
  198. (09:23:47 PM) [zz]: a fish who knows kung-fu
  199. (09:23:52 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: [zz] you lost
  200. (09:23:56 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: o 3o
  201. (09:23:57 PM) [zz]: you are dead
  202. (09:24:04 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: true.
  203. (09:24:09 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: but you lost.
  204. (09:24:14 PM) sfou: i know i have won in my heart
  205. (09:24:14 PM) [zz]: you don't have the option of deciding things in the mortal coil
  206. (09:24:23 PM) sfou: one day you will realize the extent of your evil actions
  207. (09:24:24 PM) [zz]: I KUNG-FU YOUR HEART OUT
  208. (09:24:26 PM) [zz]: REPEATEDLY
  209. (09:24:27 PM) ***sfou surrenders
  210. (09:24:37 PM) [zz]: And then I broil it
  211. (09:24:45 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: I thought I was hosting the duel
  212. (09:24:55 PM) [zz]: And feed it to the one frogman who comes out of the coma
  213. (09:25:06 PM) sfou: i surrender?
  214. (09:25:10 PM) [zz]: I then tell him what it is
  215. (09:25:18 PM) sfou: i surrender
  216. (09:25:20 PM) [zz]: AND THEN SHANK HIM IN THE BRAIN
  217. (09:25:23 PM) [zz]: REPEATEDLY
  218. (09:25:25 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: i surrender
  219. (09:25:28 PM) sfou: :/ i surrender
  220. (09:25:30 PM) Captain_Wafer[man]: i surrender
  221. (09:25:30 PM) sfou left the room.
  222. (09:25:38 PM) Captain_Wafer[man] left the room.
  223. (09:25:47 PM) [zz]: okay I guess that means I win
  224. (09:25:57 PM) SleepingOrange: H surrendered
  225. (09:26:00 PM) SleepingOrange: And you still lost
  226. (09:26:00 PM) [zz]: I question my own existence
  227. (09:26:04 PM) SleepingOrange: Loser
  228. (09:26:05 PM) SleepingOrange left the room.
  229. (09:26:26 PM) [zz]: my trauma at my own despicableness continues to grow
  230. (09:26:42 PM) [zz]: I often wake up in a sweat, nightmares pulsing through my mind
  231. (09:27:11 PM) [zz]: I remember the look on the frogman's face when I revealed to him that he just ate his father/uncle's heart
  232. (09:27:32 PM) [zz]: I look for penance, but am unable to find it
  233. (09:27:57 PM) [zz]: One night, I stumble out of a bar, unsure of where I am
  234. (09:28:10 PM) [zz]: In the darkness, I crawl out to a street
  235. (09:28:31 PM) [zz]: Where a car swerves to miss me
  236. (09:28:37 PM) [zz]: But fails
  237. (09:29:00 PM) [zz]: For three painful years I am forced to acknowledge my past
  238. (09:29:40 PM) [zz]: Having finally given my apologies to everyone I have ever wronged, I look out the window one night
  239. (09:30:04 PM) [zz]: And as the lights go out all across the city
  240. (09:30:11 PM) [zz]: I slowly close my eyes
  241. (09:30:14 PM) [zz]: And die.