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Once upon a time, the MANLIEST SEMI-METAL MAN Talas decided that Hegra tears applied liberally to his mercury beer wasn't enough to make him feel better that, well, he was a manly metallic man. So he pondered on the meaning of his life and slowly came to the conclusion that, well, if he couldn't reverse his METAL SHEEN, he'd BECOME MORE MANLY and, thus, keep his human side in a strange way.

 

However, the problem with being MANLY is that you need a lot of suitably MANLY things to consume and do. Now, beating up demons and other things for sport, as well as speaking in a MANLY way was fine and all, but it didn't satiate his recreational MANLY side. The drinks helped, but he got real hung over at times. (Well, that, and Hegra's tears do a number to him whenever he tries to drink them.) Fortunately, one morning after a night of MANLY drinking, he realized he was hungry for something strange. He wanted something MANLY that came from something STRONG and POWERFUL and that could be made into MEAT. After pondering, he realized what he wanted, and he saw his vision of the future and it was great.

 

He wanted a HIPPO BURGER to sell him HIPPO BURGERS. (And other people, I GUESS. Maybe they can be as MANLY as he is/will be!)

 

For such a MANLY MAN, this was relatively easy. He found a GREAT MALFEAN CHEF (that looked rather Solar-ish. He really doesn't understand this part, but whatever.) and GRABBED HER and TOLD HER that there needed to be more HIPPO BURGERS in this town. She was kind of having problems breathing because, well, the MANLY Talas was grabbing her by the NECK, but she was resilient enough (I guess she was MANLY... in a sense. I GUESS.) to accede to his demands. She then selected the MANLIEST place in Malfeas, discovered via geoMANtic theurgy, and set up the MANLIEST burger place of them all.

 

And thus was the birth of the MANLIEST FOOD STORE IN MALFEAS. THE MAN-END.

 

MAN.