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  1. [Script Info]
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  10. Video File: SwordQuest - Angry Video Game Nerd - Cinemassacre.com.mp4
  11. Video Aspect Ratio: 0
  12. Video Zoom: 12
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  14. Keyframes File: avgn_088_swordquest.pass
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  19.  
  20. [Events]
  21. Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
  22. Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.39,0:00:14.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's gonna take you back to the past
  23. Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.61,0:00:18.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To play the shitty games that suck ass
  24. Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.26,0:00:22.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He'd rather have a buffallo
  25. Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.71,0:00:26.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Take a diarrhea dump in his ear
  26. Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.69,0:00:30.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He'd rather eat the rotten asshole
  27. Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.93,0:00:35.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Of a road killed skunk and down it with beer
  28. Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.38,0:00:39.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard
  29. Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.59,0:00:43.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd
  30. Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.76,0:00:47.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's the Angry Atari Sega Nerd
  31. Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.99,0:00:53.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's the Angry Video Game Nerd
  32. Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.09,0:01:02.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once upon a time, video games were more than games,
  33. Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.88,0:01:04.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They were adventures.
  34. Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.47,0:01:08.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm talking about the Swordquest games for the Atari 2600.
  35. Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.63,0:01:11.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They were based on the 4 ancient elements of the cosmos,
  36. Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.90,0:01:15.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Swordquest: Earthworld, Fireworld, Waterworld,
  37. Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.37,0:01:17.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're not talking about the Kevin Costner movie,
  38. Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.67,0:01:20.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and at last, there was going to be Airworld.
  39. Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.35,0:01:25.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In these games, the player navigates through a series of mystical chambers in search of hidden treasures.
  40. Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.95,0:01:27.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But you weren't just playing a game,
  41. Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.60,0:01:30.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you were on a real adventure searching for real treasures.
  42. Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.99,0:01:33.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Atari was giving out prizes
  43. Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.49,0:01:38.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we're not talking about cheap plastic little things you get from a McDonald's happy meal.
  44. Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.02,0:01:40.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No man, this was real stuff.
  45. Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.32,0:01:41.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's how it worked.
  46. Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.44,0:01:44.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First, you'd have to buy the games which all came out one at a time.
  47. Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.84,0:01:46.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you became a club member,
  48. Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.37,0:01:50.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they'd mail you a T-shirt along with the games as soon as they got released.
  49. Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.18,0:01:54.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not to mention, each game came with a poster and a DC comic book.
  50. Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.70,0:01:57.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The games were all about finding clues.
  51. Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.01,0:01:59.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you'd write down all the clues and send them to Atari.
  52. Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.95,0:02:01.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Those who found the most
  53. Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.15,0:02:04.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would go to Atari headquarters to compete in the finals.
  54. Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.19,0:02:08.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here, they'd have custom made versions of the game which the players had 90 minutes to finish.
  55. Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.85,0:02:11.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whoever finished first would win the prize.
  56. Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.80,0:02:15.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The winner of Earthworld got a talisman made of 18 carat Solid gold
  57. Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.92,0:02:20.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,studded with 12 diamonds and the birthstones of the 12 Zodiac signs.
  58. Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.38,0:02:23.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The winner of Fireworld got a chalice made of Platinum and Gold
  59. Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.85,0:02:27.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,studded with Diamonds, Rubies, Sapphires, Pearls and Green Jade.
  60. Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.30,0:02:30.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The winner of Waterworld would get a crown made of Gold
  61. Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.23,0:02:34.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,decorated with Diamonds, Rubies, Sapphires and Aquamarines.
  62. Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.08,0:02:36.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The winner of Airworld would get a Philosopher's stone,
  63. Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.80,0:02:40.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a large piece of white Jade encased in an 18 carat gold box
  64. Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.36,0:02:42.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,endorned with Emeralds, rubies and diamonds.
  65. Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.67,0:02:43.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Damn.
  66. Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.60,0:02:46.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,According to Atari's advertising campaign,
  67. Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.33,0:02:50.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,these prizes were valued at $25,000 each.
  68. Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.36,0:02:51.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that wasn't all,
  69. Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.45,0:02:54.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the 4 winners would come back for one final competition
  70. Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.79,0:02:59.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the winner of that would win a jewel encrusted sword with an 18 carat gold handle
  71. Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.74,0:03:03.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a silver blade covered with Diamonds, emeralds, Sapphires and Rubies.
  72. Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.48,0:03:06.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The sword was valued at $50,000.
  73. Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.70,0:03:11.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In total, that's $150,000 worth of treasures
  74. Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.11,0:03:15.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this was in 1982 and '83 so you can balance that out.
  75. Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.90,0:03:20.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not since the medieval times have I heard of a treasure quest of this magnitude!
  76. Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.16,0:03:22.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It gets you really excited to play the games,
  77. Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.57,0:03:24.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that's what I call a promotion.
  78. Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.40,0:03:28.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You'd be wearing your Swordquest T-shirt with your comic books and posters,
  79. Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.37,0:03:31.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,drinking out of your gold chalice with your crown,
  80. Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.07,0:03:32.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Philosopher's stone and sword,
  81. Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.71,0:03:37.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not to mention your Swordquest video gaming cartridges exclusive from Atari.
  82. Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.61,0:03:40.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, too bad the contest is all over,
  83. Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.03,0:03:42.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so there's not much point in playing the games today.
  84. Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.37,0:03:47.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you picked up one of these games right now with no instruction manual and no explanation,
  85. Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.15,0:03:49.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you wouldn't have any idea what to do.
  86. Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.42,0:03:53.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every time you go to the next room, it sounds like an explosion.
  87. Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.20,0:03:54.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what so great about Atari.
  88. Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.96,0:03:58.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Something as simple as going through a door is an event.
  89. Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.02,0:04:03.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every room's a different colour and there's no end.
  90. Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.56,0:04:05.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It just keeps going and going.
  91. Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.29,0:04:06.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you look at the manual,
  92. Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.59,0:04:09.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you'll see that each room represents a sign from the Zodiac
  93. Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.72,0:04:10.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if you keep moving,
  94. Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.88,0:04:12.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you'll come around full circle.
  95. Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.74,0:04:14.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But there's only so many colors,
  96. Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.50,0:04:19.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But there's only so many colors, so it's easy to confuse Aries with Libra, or Capircorn with Leo.
  97. Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.09,0:04:21.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Each room has a hidden chamber where you find treasures.
  98. Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.89,0:04:24.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But sometimes before you get to the treasure,
  99. Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.11,0:04:28.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have to pass through a nuclear waterfall, or jump on laser rafts.
  100. Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.98,0:04:32.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These kind of games, you gotta use a lot of imagination.
  101. Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.22,0:04:36.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you get to a treasure chamber, you can pick up items or drop them.
  102. Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.02,0:04:40.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By putting the right combination of items in a certain room, you'll trigger a clue.
  103. Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.04,0:04:45.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whoa...
  104. Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.51,0:04:48.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now what could that mean?
  105. Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.30,0:04:51.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hm... 16, 4...
  106. Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.55,0:04:53.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the comic book...!
  107. Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.92,0:05:00.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Page 16, panel 4...
  108. Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.25,0:05:01.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't see anythi-
  109. Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.49,0:05:03.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whoa, wha-!
  110. Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.00,0:05:04.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wow!
  111. Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.51,0:05:19.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's 10 hidden words, and they're supposed to make a sentence.
  112. Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.76,0:05:21.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But five of them are bogus.
  113. Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.43,0:05:23.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only way to figure out which are the right words
  114. Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.74,0:05:26.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is to find a subliminal hint on the first page.
  115. Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.66,0:05:30.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The words prime and number are a different color than the rest,
  116. Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.09,0:05:33.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so this means you only use the clues that are prime numbers.
  117. Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.95,0:05:37.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lemme tell you, in 1982, people had a lot of time on their hands
  118. Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.81,0:05:40.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a lot of creativity to figure this out.
  119. Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.42,0:05:44.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Out of 5000 entries, only 8 gamers got the right sentence.
  120. Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.74,0:05:47.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The winner was 20-year old Steven Bell.
  121. Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.15,0:05:48.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Good work, man!
  122. Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.86,0:05:52.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The second game, Fireworld, was basically the same principle,
  123. Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.35,0:05:56.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,except this time, the rooms are laid out to follow the Tree of Life.
  124. Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.43,0:06:01.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only things that are very different from the first game are the action sequences.
  125. Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.09,0:06:02.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What are we doing here?
  126. Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.14,0:06:03.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hitting birds with a pole?
  127. Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.53,0:06:05.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Throwing knives??
  128. Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.00,0:06:07.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now you're actually steering knives into a...
  129. Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.36,0:06:09.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a turkey club sandwich.
  130. Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.82,0:06:13.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This part, you're like a black eagle shooting bullets at snakes!
  131. Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.79,0:06:16.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All with glorious Atari sound effects.
  132. Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.72,0:06:24.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think this game was a little easier than Earthworld,
  133. Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.44,0:06:27.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because this time, over 50 gamers found all the clues.
  134. Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.73,0:06:30.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So Atari had sort of a tie breaker
  135. Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.01,0:06:33.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where they made everyone write down what they liked about the game.
  136. Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.71,0:06:36.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Damn, that's a good game!
  137. Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.41,0:06:39.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gee wiz, I sure love that game!!"
  138. Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.55,0:06:42.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And somehow, based on those answers,
  139. Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.01,0:06:44.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they narrowed it down to 50 contestants.
  140. Dialogue: 0,0:06:44.43,0:06:48.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Michael Rideout was the final winner and received the golden chalice.
  141. Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.67,0:06:52.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The third game, Waterworld, is when the shit hit the fan.
  142. Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.58,0:06:56.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The infamous Video Game Crash of 1983 was taking effect,
  143. Dialogue: 0,0:06:56.50,0:06:59.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Waterworld was released in a limited quantity,
  144. Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.16,0:07:01.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,making this an extremely rare game.
  145. Dialogue: 0,0:07:01.89,0:07:05.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It had only seven rooms, significantly less than the previous games.
  146. Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.88,0:07:08.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This time, it was based on the Chakra structure.
  147. Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.62,0:07:12.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Appropriately, its action scenes all had something to do with water.
  148. Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.53,0:07:17.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Either you're trying to swim around sharks, dodge squids, or hop on icebergs.
  149. Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.48,0:07:19.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The contest never happened.
  150. Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.32,0:07:24.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Atari's financial problems led them to sell the company and pull the plug on the whole thing.
  151. Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.72,0:07:29.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The fourth game, Airworld, is just what it is - Air.
  152. Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.22,0:07:30.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It never got made,
  153. Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.62,0:07:33.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,though a prototype has been rumored and even hoaxed.
  154. Dialogue: 0,0:07:33.97,0:07:38.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a very sad end to what could've been the greatest gaming event in history.
  155. Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.63,0:07:42.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,An adventure series with rooms based off mythology?
  156. Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.04,0:07:43.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Came with comic books??
  157. Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.34,0:07:45.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A chance to win real treasures?!?
  158. Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.78,0:07:48.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then it all vanished!
  159. Dialogue: 0,0:07:48.24,0:07:50.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The biggest mystery of all
  160. Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.08,0:07:52.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is whatever happened to the remaining treasures?
  161. Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.61,0:07:56.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eyewitness accounts and pictures prove that they all existed,
  162. Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.04,0:07:58.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they were on display during the competition.
  163. Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.72,0:08:00.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But where are they now?
  164. Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.62,0:08:03.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The guy who bought Atari was a guy named Jack Tramiel.
  165. Dialogue: 0,0:08:03.90,0:08:06.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some comments online from people in the business
  166. Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.56,0:08:09.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have said that they've seen the sword hanging in Tramiel's living room.
  167. Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.84,0:08:12.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's no pictures or any hard evidence to support this,
  168. Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.87,0:08:14.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but if he does have the sword,
  169. Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.55,0:08:18.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's most likely he has the crown and the philosopher's stone as well.
  170. Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.94,0:08:21.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Somebody's gotta find out!
  171. Dialogue: 0,0:08:21.60,0:08:25.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The real Swordquest is the quest for that sword and the other treasures!
  172. Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.76,0:08:29.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They belong in the hands of gamers who earned them!
  173. Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.02,0:08:33.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Y'know, everybody who put those games in their Ataris had a chance of winning.
  174. Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.34,0:08:35.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was something to dream about.
  175. Dialogue: 0,0:08:35.13,0:08:37.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that dream's been thrown down the toilet.
  176. Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.58,0:08:41.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's 30 years later, but I say the contest must go on!
  177. Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.68,0:08:43.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Finish the last game!
  178. Dialogue: 0,0:08:43.11,0:08:46.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't have Earth, Fire, and Water without Air!
  179. Dialogue: 0,0:08:46.00,0:08:48.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The balance of the cosmos must be restored!
  180. Dialogue: 0,0:08:48.65,0:08:52.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The true bearer of that sword must be found!
  181. Dialogue: 0,0:08:52.04,0:08:54.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The kingdom of nerddom depends on it!!!
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