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Sep 29th, 2015
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  1. Chapter 252: "The Pleasure of Climbing Into Bed"
  2.  
  3. Page 1.
  4.  
  5. >It's Valentine's Day
  6.  
  7. >Are they obligatory?
  8. >Or is it the real thing?
  9.  
  10.  
  11. Page 2.
  12.  
  13. >They're obligatory
  14. >They didn't even come with a present
  15.  
  16. >They seem heartfelt
  17. >The chocolates look expensive, after all
  18.  
  19. >They're obligatory
  20.  
  21. >They might be
  22.  
  23. >They're real
  24.  
  25. >They might be
  26.  
  27. >Are they obligatory?
  28. >Or does she really like me?
  29.  
  30. >These could be interpreted in either way
  31. >It's too vague to tell
  32.  
  33. >Your fear of rejection...
  34.  
  35.  
  36. Page 3.
  37.  
  38. >Has helped you figure out the [emphasis] Barnum effect [/emphasis], has it?
  39.  
  40. >The Barnum effect?
  41.  
  42. >The effect of vague statements that could apply to anything
  43.  
  44. >It's like when a fortune-teller says non-specific things that could be true of anyone
  45. >Because of the Barnum effect, you believe she really has special knowledge of you!
  46.  
  47. fortune-teller: You have a lot of worries, don't you?
  48.  
  49. >Morning~
  50.  
  51. >What good timing
  52. >Let's try it out ourselves
  53.  
  54.  
  55. Page 4.
  56.  
  57. >That's amazing!
  58. >How did you know?
  59.  
  60. >In the mornings you often start out craving rice
  61. >But then decide you want toast instead, don't you?
  62.  
  63. >You're right!
  64.  
  65. >That's just scary!
  66.  
  67. >You also often become sleepy after eating
  68.  
  69. >You're right again!
  70.  
  71. >See?
  72.  
  73. >Y- Yes...
  74.  
  75. >What's going on?
  76.  
  77. >Sensei is amazing!
  78.  
  79.  
  80. Page 5.
  81.  
  82. >That's amazing!
  83. >How did you know?!
  84.  
  85. >Well, uh...
  86.  
  87. >What's going on?
  88.  
  89. >Sensei is incredible
  90.  
  91. >Amazing! How did you know?
  92.  
  93. >No, you see...
  94.  
  95. >Please do me too!
  96.  
  97. >Amazing!
  98.  
  99. >How
  100.  
  101. >Did
  102.  
  103. >You
  104. >Know?
  105.  
  106. Meru's phone: That's just creepy oi
  107.  
  108.  
  109. Page 6.
  110.  
  111. >What's all this?
  112.  
  113. >This new fortune-teller is really good, apparently
  114.  
  115. >Fortune-telling?
  116. >How lame
  117.  
  118. >You often feel hot in the summer
  119. >And cold in the winter
  120.  
  121. >You're right!
  122. >How did you know!?
  123.  
  124. >Things have gotten out of hand
  125. >I'll need to put an end to this before it goes too far
  126.  
  127. >It looks like a magazine company has heard about your gift, Sensei
  128. >They're asking you to write a column for them
  129.  
  130.  
  131. Page 7.
  132.  
  133. header: Hoshi Zetsubou's "So Accurate It's Scary" Horoscope
  134.  
  135. top left (Virgo?): --stay away --might --good luck --other Virgos
  136. Leo: If you go on a diet, you're likely to get hungry.
  137. Cancer: The day will feel shorter if you sleep late.
  138. Gemini: Wear gold-colored clothes to stand out from your surroundings.
  139. Taurus: If you do a favor for someone, they might ask for another favor.
  140. Aries: Be proactive at the party to broaden your horizons.
  141. Aquarius: --get on --early, --might --different.
  142. Capricorn: If you get under the kotatsu, it may be hard to get back out.
  143. Sagittarius: If you take another job, your free time may decrease.
  144. Scorpio: It might be cheaper at the supermarket than the convenience store.
  145. Libra: If you wash your face--
  146.  
  147. >Wow! It's so accurate!
  148.  
  149. >How do you know these things?
  150.  
  151. >No, you see...
  152.  
  153. >The things I've been saying
  154. >Are all just vague statements that could apply to anyone!
  155.  
  156. >That's not fortune-telling at all!
  157.  
  158. >You're right, it's...
  159.  
  160. >It's prophecy
  161.  
  162.  
  163. Page 8.
  164.  
  165. >See, Sensei?
  166. >You're being worshipped
  167.  
  168. >Now that it's come to this, I have no choice but to tell an obvious lie
  169. >And prove I'm not always right!
  170.  
  171. >Uh, tomorrow's weather...
  172. >Will be sunny with a chance of Meru-Meru!
  173.  
  174. >Eh?
  175. >Eh
  176.  
  177. >As a younger sister
  178. >I cannot allow my brother to suffer any embarrassment
  179.  
  180.  
  181. Page 9.
  182.  
  183. >Impossible!
  184.  
  185. >Ama~zing!
  186.  
  187. >Your prophecy was spot-on
  188.  
  189. >Isn't this a little strange? No matter how you look at it
  190.  
  191.  
  192. Page 10.
  193.  
  194. >They're well-made, as I expected
  195.  
  196. >Thank you
  197.  
  198. >My older brother's words must never be lies!
  199. >The dignity of the Itoshiki name depends on it!
  200.  
  201. >As you wish
  202.  
  203. >I have to tell another...
  204. >More impossible lie!
  205.  
  206. >Tomorrow, all the desks in the school...
  207. >Will become sweet!
  208.  
  209. >Sweeeet
  210. >So sweeeet
  211. >The desk is so sweeeet
  212.  
  213. >There's no way!!
  214.  
  215. >Kudo-kun, let me taste yours too
  216.  
  217. >Go ahead
  218.  
  219. >Let me lick yours too, Abiru-chan!
  220.  
  221.  
  222. Page 11.
  223.  
  224. >If you lick your desk...
  225. >Hairs will start growing on your school shoes!
  226.  
  227. >Eeeek!
  228.  
  229. >Impossible!
  230.  
  231. >Our prophet!
  232. >Our prophet!
  233.  
  234. >You're wrong!
  235. >I'm not a prophet!
  236.  
  237. >Ah, Sensei
  238. >What do you make of this?
  239.  
  240. >Do you think they can pass?
  241.  
  242. papers: Mock Exam Results
  243.  
  244. >Do you expect me to be able to predict the future? I'm not a prophet!
  245.  
  246. >But it's normally part of a teacher's job to give advice about the future
  247. >Based on their strengths and weaknesses...
  248.  
  249. >I'll have no more fortune-telling!
  250.  
  251. >I hate this!
  252. >Being unable to tell a lie has left me in despair!
  253.  
  254. >And so it's decided
  255. >I'm going to die now
  256.  
  257. Page 12.
  258.  
  259. >Liar.
  260.  
  261. >You false prophet!
  262.  
  263. >That will never come true!
  264.  
  265. >You filthy liar!
  266.  
  267. >I'm telling you, this one will actually come true!
  268.  
  269. >Why did this have to be the only lie...?
  270.  
  271. >It was a sure thing
  272.  
  273. >Your prediction was off.
  274.  
  275. >What are you talking about?
  276.  
  277. >I can't bring myself to kill me own brother after all
  278.  
  279. >Not for lack of trying, it would seem
  280.  
  281.  
  282. Page 13.
  283.  
  284. title: Hoshi Zetsubou's "So Accurate It's Scary" Horoscope, Jan-July, Showa 86
  285.  
  286. paragraph heading: Hoshi Zetsubou
  287. paragraph: "So accurate it's scary!" is what they say about this master of the "Convalescent Sensei" astrology school. Today she can be found
  288.  
  289. in magazines on every street corner of Koishikawa ward, as well as on web radio and social media. She currently serves as adviser to the famous
  290.  
  291. small-time manga artists, Messrs. A. and H.
  292.  
  293. Aries:
  294. If you get a job, your private time may decrease. Be careful!
  295. Luck with work
  296.  
  297. Taurus:
  298. If you conserve electricity, your power bill may go down.
  299. Luck in the home
  300.  
  301. Gemini:
  302. During summer vacation, you may get more chances to meet with your friends in casual clothes.
  303. Luck with beauty
  304.  
  305. Cancer:
  306. If you draw nipples, it might sell!
  307. Luck with art
  308.  
  309. Leo:
  310. Greet people properly for a reputation as a polite person.
  311. Luck with people
  312.  
  313. Virgo:
  314. Go to bed early to wake up feeling refreshed.
  315. Luck in contests
  316.  
  317. Libra:
  318. Go to the pool for increased possibility of meeting girls in swimsuits!!
  319. Luck with love
  320.  
  321. Scorpio:
  322. If you go to the convenience store on Wednesday, they might be selling Shonen Magazine!
  323. Luck in endeavors
  324.  
  325. Sagittarius:
  326. If you go to a theme park in Tokyo, there's a high probability it will actually be in Chiba.
  327. Luck with travel
  328.  
  329. Capricorn:
  330. If you buy a hamburger it may also come as a set with fries.
  331. Luck with money
  332.  
  333. Aquarius:
  334. If you ride the train past Shinjuku you may end up in Yoyogi.
  335. Luck in commuting
  336.  
  337. Pisces:
  338. If you drink too much soda in the summer it may give you a stomache ache.
  339. Luck with health
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