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+Ok /b/ i'm going to tell you my own personnel tard tory, the story of neal.
 
 >Be in 5th grade
 >Be in AI class it's like advanced shit for smart kids)
 >The teachers decide it is a good idea for us to spend a say with the tard kids because we were ahead for the marking period
 >I had never seen a tard previous to this encouter, so I didn't know what to expect
 >Walk into tardHQ
 >It seems to be a regular class room filled with ugly ass kids
 >Ecerybody is assigned their own personnel tard to talk to
 >I get assigned neal
 >I walk up to the tard and say Hello i'm phil
 >"haypil"
 >One fluent word, "haypil", he says this whenever he is within thirty feet of me, and it becomes my only warning of the inevitable oncoming shit storm
 >Sit down and see he is cutting paper
 >Ask him what he's making
 >"mrhhms"
 >"what?"
 >The tard starts to make this screeching sound, the only thing I can compare it to is the sound of a fucking raptor
 >A fat downy tard runs up to us "STUOP ITTTT"
 >Neal gets up and continues his raptard roar directly in her face
 >Downy tard goes batshit, engages tard strength and flips the entire table over
 >Neal not only continues his tard roar but moves closer to downy child
 >Down kid just starts screaming and tries to run for the door, forgets to open it and smashes into it head first
 >KO
 >Neal silences his roar, sits down and continues cutting the paper as if nothing had happened
 >allmywut.jpg
 >Tardwranglers run in and retrieve Neal, and the downy child, they are both sent home
 And that my friends is the first of my many stories of neal. just tell me if you want more.
 
 After our first faithful encounter I hadn't seen Neal for a while, so this story takes place about 3 months after my previous story
 >Be walking down the hall with friends to lunch
 >Hear a faint yet memorable voice
 >"haypil"
 >Don't answer, pretend I heard nothing due to the events of last time
 >Hear the sound yet again, except this time it is directly in my ear
 >"HAYPIL" He had just appeared on my side, he had to be atleast thirty or so feet in the other direction previously (this speed will come into play in later encounters)
 >Wave awkwardly to him "Hey Neal"
 >He extends a bag of cheetos he had in his hand in my direction "Want sum?"
 >"No thanks Neal"
 >My friend not knowing the kind of devastation Neal is capable of reaches over and grabs one of the cheetos out of the bag without asking
 >Neal looks up with pure malice
 >Oh fuck not again
 >Approaches my friend deliberately looking into his eyes
 >Engage raptard roar
 >This one was in short bursts, it appears as if he has different roars for different situation
 >Friend says "what's wrong with him?"
 >Say nothing, as I do not want to feel Neals wrath
 >Friend backs away as Neal appraches chewing the cheeto
 >Neal lets out one last violent tard roar and hurls himself at my friend, knocking him over
 >He jams him hand into my friends mouth and retrieves the liquidy remnants of the cheeto while continuing his tard roar directly in his face
 >Stands up and eats liquidy half eaten cheeto after silencing his roar
 >Tardwrangler comes speeding down hallway and grabs Neal by the wrist to pull him back to tardHQ
 >Waves at me "Buypil" not a single ounce of regret or any emotion for that matter in his eyes
 >I wave at him in utter aw "Bye Neal"
 
 Neal Part 3: Battle of the Tards
 You see Neal mainly kept to him self, he did not like his tard kind. But he extremely dislike one tard name hames, this is the first of their battles that I saw.
 >Be in 6th grade now
 >New AI teacher is a very avid tard supporter
 >We are now going to help the tards out once a week for the entire year
 >I enter the tardHQ and see Neal in the corner
 >Hasn't grown an inch sense last year (turns out he will remain 5'0 for his entire life)
 >He looks as if he is in total concentration reading a book
 >I walk up to Neal "Hey bud whatcha reading"
 >Gives me one of those toothy tard grins "haypil"
 >Sit next to him and look at the book
 >Dr. Seuss a cat in the hat
 >A skinny, tall, tard walks over to us
 >I could tell he was a dick from the first second I saw him
 >"wut ar yu reding nile"
 >snatches book of out neals hand
 >"Tis buk is fur babbys"
 >Neal gets up "giv ut bac yames"
 >James holds it up above his head "tak it"
 >Neals rage is apparent, it is that of a thousand suns
 >Neal sounds his raptard screech
 >This is slightly different from his roar, it's soul effect is to piss off other tards
 >"Stup it nile tak yur dum buk"
 >too late for that bud
 >Neal continues to approach with his fist above his head as far as he can rach
 >Screech continues, at this point TardHQ is compromised, tards are going crazy
 >Crayons and shit is being thrown, one tard is crawled into a ball in a puddle of piss
 >AI class is told to evacuate, I stay to watch imminent luls
 >James is not clenching his ears for dear life
 >Neal is finally within striking reach of james
 >He throws his mighty fist down into james nuts with the accumulative force of 1000 banhammers
 >James drops and begins to throw up on the "magic" carpet
 >Neal silences the screech, picks up the book james had stolen from him, and sits down to read it directly in james puddle of throwup
 >butwhy.jpg
 >He looks up at me with that toothy grin as I just stare
 >Tard wranglers bust in, one grabs me to bring me to safety the others grab the debilitated james and Neal
 >Neal screams after me "buypil"
 >I just watch as he is hulled off to the principles office, not giving a single bit of resistance
 >That day was known as N day up until I left for the highschool
 
 Neal part 3
 >Be in 2nd marking period now
 >Neal had been suspended for pulverizing James nuts
 >He's back now
 >I have started to look forward to our days helping the tards just because of Neal
 >Unfortunately it's not that day
 >Be in art class
 >Teacher says we have a tard coming to our class from now on cus the school has started new integration program for tards
 >Neal walks through the fucking door
 >"Class this is Neal"
 >"Hello Neal" we said in unison as I waved
 >"Haypil"
 >Teacher lets him sit next to me cus he knows me
 >James walks into class after him
 >Ohshitnigger.jpg
 >James is introduced to class and is put at the same table as us just by luck
 >We are starting water color painting right now
 >Neal decides he wants to paint an apple, cus that's what I was painting
 >James starts shit with up because he's a dick
 >"Yur apals luk lik shet"
 >Neal ignores him because... well because he's fuckin neal he doesn't give a fuck
 >James obviously angered by being ignored by me and Neal pours all of him paint onto my painting
 >Don't give a fuck, but Neal sure as hell did
 >Commence raptart roar short burst mode (this is when I found out that short bursts means he's about to wreck shit)
 >Neal throws all his paint right into james eyes as the class looks on in horror
 >"MUY AIS"
 >James can't see shit and Neal has not taken out skittles that I assume he had hid in the foreskin of his penis (I found out he's uncircumcised in a later incident) and begins pelting james with them
 >He's hurling these at mach 5 speeds into him
 >James falls off the stool he is sitting on and brings the girl sitting next to him along too
 >Neal walks around the table, picks up the paint and slowly empties it onto both James and the girl (it is apparent that Neal does not give two shits about civilian casualties)
 >The roar has stopped
 >Kids are all huddled into the corner aside from me, the two tards, and the poor girl caught in the mix
 >Teachers siggnals for tardwranglers waiting outside, hames and Neal are picked up and taken from the classroom
 >Neal is in complete and utter peace while being carried away, he simply waves at me
 >"buypil"
 And that was the end of the schools integration program after the girl who got wreckeds parents attempted to sue the school
 
 Neal: story of the lightning raptard
 >Be in 7th grade now
 >Haven't seen Neal in over a year, he and his parents had moved to a different school district due to the previously mentioned problems with this one
 >Be in the third marking period, it's ok, not the same without Neal though
 >Walking down the hall one day, low and behold Neal is walking down the hall, all 5 feet of him
 >Run up to him
 >"Hey Neal! You coming back to this school again?"
 >"haypil"
 >He now has his own personal tardwrangler at all times except for lunch, who explains everything to me
 >Unfortunately I have no classes with Neal do to the whole integration system being destroyed by the wrath of Neal
 >I see him in the halls all the time though
 You see the thing about our middle school is it is that it has multiple buildings, which you have to travel outside to get to
 >As I mentioned before Neal possesses lighting speed, which he doesn't display very often
 >One day while I am walking to woodshop with my friends I see something blaze past me followed be a familiar noise
 >the lighting raptards mighty roar
 >50 feet behind him is the wrangler unable to keep up with him
 >Everybody looks on in shock as Neal plows directly through a small Asian girl carrying her books (As previously stated Neal doesn't give two shits bout civilian casualties)
 >Neal looks behind to see how far he is from the wrangler
 >He silences his roar as he can see he has won
 >Neal fails to see the glass door directly infront of him and plows through that just as he did the asian girl
 >Neal is out
 >Tardwrangler finally catched up and picks up Neal to bring him back to TardHQ just as he comes back to consciousness
 >Neal sees me as he is being carried away
 >"haypil"
 >Neal is back everybody
 
 >Be in 6th grade still
 >Only a week left of school
 >Neal has been rather quiet lately, mainly cus me and my friends now let him sit with us at lunch and what not because he never disrupted anything, and there was the possibility of Neal unleashing his wrath yet again, so james wasn't near him without tardwrangler supervision often
 >AI teacher thinks that it is a wonderful idea for us to throw an end of the year party with tards
 >Teacher has no idea of the sequence of events she has set forth
 >This party is to be held three days before the end of school, and it is to be 80s themed
 >Be the day of the party, I have my hair slicked back and be in a white t-shirt cus i'm lazy and unoriginal
 >The AI class has set up the entire thing, soda, candy, food, music, and what not
 >I talk to my friends as we wait for the tards to enter
 >The tards make their entrance into the gymnasium where this is being held
 >Most of the tards look... well retarded
 >Neal is dressed up as micheal jackson, he looks fucking badass
 >Neal walks over to us, everybody says hi
 >"haypil"
 >Neal seems a little bit off today though, lots of energy
 >Turns out Neal skipped out on his meds today, not a very good thing
 >Neal=ticking time bomb of raptardness
 >James walks over to us, I can already sense his bad intentions
 >"Hay gaybo wuts op"
 >Neal just stares at him, in a way I had never seen before
 >"Wats rong wit nile"
 >Neal drops his soda on the ground
 >ohshitminorities.jpg
 >Neal walks away
 >Wait wut?
 >James shouts after him "ya guna cri gaybo?"
 >Neal walks behind one of the curtains in the gymnasium, nothing can be seen in the darkness over there
 >A minute later Neal appears all the way across the gym on top of the stage we had in there
 >He is completely naked, underwear and all, aside for the single glove that micheal wears
 >Engage raptard screech (the tard rage invoker)
 >The tards frenzi
 >The downy tard from my original story kicks over the sterio
 >"kids just wana hav- kids just wana- kids just wana have fun" it continuously plays that single part of the song
 >There are no wranglers around to subdue the tards the rage ensues
 >Neal jumps off the stage and charges james
 >James is tackled to the ground by the naked neal
 >"Gut off may gaybo"
 >Neal proceeds to rub his chode-like, uncircumcised penis all over james neck and chest
 >The roar is stopped
 >"whos da gaybo now yames?"
 >Oh god the site was amazing
 >The tards run out of the gymnasium crying and screaming now that they can think straight sense the screech has ended
 >The only people left in the gymnasium are me, the teacher, and my friends looking at Neal whipe his phallus on james face.
 >Neal gets up off a james, his deed has been done
 >He proceeds to get dressed again
 >Just as he finishes the tardwranglers finally alive
 >Too late bros
 >The teacher retells the things that had ensued and they walk over to carry Neal and James out
 >Neal walks up to me and hands me a quarter for no apparent reason
 >As he is being carried away Neal looks to be just as peaceful as he always is, because he did not give a single fuck, he never did, and he never will
 >Neal waves as they exit through the double doors and screams "buypil"
 >I wave back at Neal as it is the last time I will see him for over a yeah "Bye Neal"
 I still have that quarter
 
 >Be in 7th grade now
 >Haven't seen Neal in over a year, he and his parents had moved to a different school district due to the previously mentioned problems with this one
 >Be in the third marking period, it's ok, not the same without Neal though
 >Walking down the hall one day, low and behold Neal is walking down the hall, all 5 feet of him
 >Run up to him
 >"Hey Neal! You coming back to this school again?"
 >"haypil"
 >He now has his own personal tardwrangler at all times except for lunch, who explains everything to me
 >Unfortunately I have no classes with Neal do to the whole integration system being destroyed by the wrath of Neal
 >I see him in the halls all the time though
 >You see the thing about our middle school is it is that it has multiple buildings, which you have to travel outside to get to
 >As I mentioned before Neal possesses lightning speed, which he doesn't display very often
 >One day I while I am walking to woodshop with my friends I see something blaze past me followed by a familiar noise
 >the lightning raptards mighty roar
 >50 feet behind him is the wrangler unable to keep up with him
 >Everybody looks on in shock as Neal plows directly through a small Asian girl carrying her books (As previously stated Neal doesn't give two shits bout civilian casualties)
 >Neal looks behind to see how far he is from the wrangler
 >He silences his roar as he can see he has won
 >Neal fails to see the glass door directly infront of him and plows through that just as he did the asian girl
 >Neal is out
 >Tardwrangler finally catches up and picks up Neal to bring him back to TardHQ just as he comes back to consciousness
 >Neal sees me as he is being carried away
 >"haypil"
 >Neal is back everybody
 
 Neal: Clash of the tards part II
 >Be in the last marking period of 7th grade
 >Neal has been quiet for a while now because the principle claims that he will not deal with the same stuff the grade school did
 >Neal don't give a fuck, but he is inactive for a while
 >My classes no longer have a tard day, so I don't get to see Neal as often
 >To my luck my lunch is moved to the same period as all the tards
 >Neal starts sitting with us again with the blessing of his tardwrangler
 >Everything going fine, and then I see somebody walking over to us that looks familiar
 >ohshitnigger.jpg
 >It is james, in all of his dickishness
 >He has started to grow a pedophile-esque mustache (tard got held back in tard classes)
 >He a foot behind Neal just breathing
 >"Wuy yu guys let a gaybo laik nile sit wit yu"
 >I calmly tell him to go away, as I don't to start any trouble
 >"Ai stay uf ai want"
 >proceed to ignore him
 >Frustrated by nobody giving a fuck about him he pushes Neal out of his seat and sits in it
 >"Hey james that wasn't nice, let Neal sit down again"
 >"no nile es a gaybo"
 >Neal has had enough of this shit
 >Commence the raptard screech
 >The new lot of tards have yet to feel the rath of Neals screech rattle through their brains making them ultrasensitive
 >Tards all rage, food is thrown, it happened to be hot dog day, tiny meat-penis replicas were flying everywhere
 >Neal picks up a hot dog and starts smacking him in the neck and chest with it, while simultaneously screeching directly into james eardrum
 >Kinda reminded me of Neal rubbing his dick on james chest
 >The wranglers are almost done restraining the raging tards and are about to move onto Neal and james
 >Neal sees this and goes for the finisher
 >He rises his hand just as he did in the first clash of the tards
 >Falcon punch charging
 >Just as the last of the raging tards is restrained Neal hits James nuts as if he is trying to kill all of the little james that are stored up in there
 >James faints out of the pain
 >Neal silences his screech, sits down and eats the hot dog he had just rubbed all over james
 >The tardwranglers finally arrive and carry them both off to HQ as the cafeteria watches in aw
 >Neal looks as if nothing is wrong, he simply waves at me and utters that familiar slur of words
 >"buypil"
 Score:
 Neal:2
 James:0
 
 >Be in 8th grade now
 >First marking period
 >Old special ed. teacher quit for personnel (I personally think she couldn't handle the rath of Neal)
 >This year there is a special class you can take if you are interested in using a period of your day to help the tards
 >Obviously I signed up in order to be with Neal more so I could make sure I see if anymore hilarity ensures
 >I walk into TardHQ that day and there is a new teacher
 >She's young, seems to really enjoy what she is doing, everything looks as if it has been going well for the day
 >Her day is about to take a very unexpected turn for the worse
 >I am sitting down on the carpet with Neal helping him read a book on Dr. Suess (this kid really fucking loves his Dr. Suess)
 >Neal doesn't understand what half the words mean so I do my best to help him by explaining the meanings
 >We come across a word that neither of us knew
 >Neal thinks that I am only not telling him because I want him to figure it out for himself (which I did sometimes just because I felt it was better for him than me just telling him)
 >Neal is starting to get very frustrated, and for the first time it is directed at me not somebody else
 >Ohgodpleasehelpme.jpg
 >I do my best to calm him down but he is stuck on the thought that I know what it means
 >Neal engages in the mighty raptard burst roar(For you new guys in hear he does this when he is about to wreck shit)
 >I am going to die
 >It didn't matter than I was half a foot taller than him, I was scared shitless
 >Everybody except for the teacher knows what is about to happen, they just watch on in horror as there is nothing they can do
 >Teacher runs over thinking she can help
 >bad idea
 >Neal engages raptard screech, enraging his tard brotheran
 >James is on the floor pissing himself, the others are throwing shit at each other in the utter rage that neals screech invokes
 >The teacher gets hit with a stapler traveling at speeds previously unseen by man
 >KO
 >Neel now turns toward me and stops his screech momentarily to talk
 >"tal me wat it mean pil"
 >In despiration I tell him it is a bad word that nobody is supposed to say
 >Neal believes me entirely
 >He goes the rest of his life as far as I know convinced that acumen is just as bad of a word as fuck
 >All of his anger immediately disappears
 >He gives me that toothy grin and simply sits back down as if I had just shared a secret with him
 >I sit down next to him and he whispers to me "Don wury ai won tal enyon wat acurmin mens"
 >"Ok Neal"
 >Tardwranglers burst through the door
 >One carries Neal the other carries the new teacher to the Nurses office
 >As Neal is exiting TardHQ his toothy grin remains
 >"buypil"
 >She has no idea what the fuck she is getting into
 
 >Be in 8th grade still
 >Still in the first marking period
 >The new teachers thinks that it would be a wonderful idea for people to bring in things to show the class every day it's a different student
 >Today it happens to be Neals turn
 >He brings in his pet turtle jimmy in to show the class
 >Everything seems to be going well for the show and tell, Neal is passing around the turtle for people to hold, I mean it's a fucking turtle what could happen, right?
 >Seeing as nothing that good is goin on I leave to go to the bathroom
 >Take a piss in probably what is three minutes (It was a very long piss)
 >I walk back into the class room and utter chaos has insued
 >Neal is screaming "JEMMI JEMMI WUR AR YU" while one of the tards is crying in the corner (I'm assuming Neal let lose a short screech for a second to get everyone attention)
 >The turtle was gone apparently he was lost among all the handing him around
 >Do you hear me? They lost. A fucking. Turtle.
 >I run up to Neal asking him what is wrong,
 >"JEMMI IS GUN!!"
 >"Ok Neal calm down, i'll find Jimmy"
 >I start looking around, I search fucking everywhere, turtle is no where to be found
 >All of a sudden that fucker james walks in
 >He's got a big retard grin on his face, and he has been gone sense right after I left
 >Neal immediately catches on and commences the tard screech
 >Shit goes from chaos to pure cluster fuck in seconds
 >Not only is Jimmy the fucking turtle gone, now I have a raging mob of tards in a close space
 >I scream to james over all of the noise
 >"WHERE IS JIMMY"
 >"MAI EURS HART"
 >James is now crying and is of no use
 >I see a sliver of green in the back of the room in the corner of my eye
 >I investigate the site
 >It is Jimmy the fucking turtle half way under a bean bag, he was there the entire time
 >I pick him up and present him to Neal who is overcome with happiness to have jimmy back
 >"JEMMI TANKSPIL"
 >The new teacher still isn't able to handle shit, and she is just sitting in the corner of the room
 >Neals screech may have stopped but the tard rage hasn't
 >A tard finds the stapler yet again and boom it connects with the Ms. springer while breaking the sound barrier
 >Out cold
 >Tardwranglers burst in the room and subdue the tards
 >Neal is perfectly fine so he is left in TardHQ this time but apparently it was my fault jimmy was lost
 >I am dragged out by the principle who accompanied the wranglers
 >The last thing I see is Neal, there sitting in the corner with jimmy
 >"buypil"
 >I got a fucking week of detention
 
 Ok Tards in love it is
 Neal and the secret admire
 >So in Neals class there was one jody
 >Jody was a above average height, ugly ass fuck, half-functioning tard who always wore these fucking berets
 >She was annoying as fuck, all she would every do is make blatant lies, and she knew nobody believed her I mean she had to, one time she said she was related to Leonardo Da Vinci and she had some stuff autographed by him, and she's fucking irish, but I digress
 >So it turns out that she secretly had a crush on Neal, I found this out in a rather frightening way though
 >One day during gym (gym was the only class integrated) I was cornered by jody and her nasty fucking odor
 >Seriously the girl didn't know how to use deodorant I swear her stench could counteract saddams mustard gas
 >So she cornered me in gym and whispers in my ear "Pil ur frends wit nile rait?"
 >"Yeah what about it"
 >"duh ya thank he mait laik meh?"
 >I immediately did a littler duck under and ran to the safety of my decent smelling friends
 >Later that day when I saw Neal I asked him if he liked jody
 >"Yody is gros, she smel liek jemmis pee"
 >I laughed and dropped the subject because it would obviously never happened
 >As I left the TardHQ to go to my next class I was cut off by Jody
 >"So wat ded he say pil"
 >Sorry he doesn't like you
 >"WAT?"
 >ohshitnotagain.jpg
 >Jody runs over toward Neal at the pace of a muscular dystrophy child
 >She begins screaming in some kind of high pitched tone almost like her own raptard roar, but no where near the magnitude of Neals
 >Neal takes this as a challenge and unleashes the most mind deafening raptard screech I have heard yet
 >Jody is cut off mid-scream, the power of neals is just overwhelming
 >The tards go batshit instantly it was as if world war tard had hit the TardHQ
 >Ms. Springer is now a littler better at handling the situation, but she is no where near capable of handling this
 >This time she has the common sense to get under the desk before the stapler and her head have a collision that rivals the power of the Haiti earthquakes
 >I try to calm neal down but it is futile
 >The tardwrangler finally arrive before the tards reach full on hulk mode and are able to restrain them
 >Neal stops his screech seeing that the situation no longer requires it as jody is subdued
 >The wrangler pick him up to carry him out of TardHQ yet again
 >I wave at Neal as he is carried out the door, peaceful as he is every time it happens
 >"buypil"
 
 >Be in 8th grade still
 >Be third marking period now
 >Neal and I have just been chilling for quite some time in that class, nothing terrible has happened in a while, I started to think that I would never see the wrath of Neal again
 >Lol think again
 >So Neal had recently got his first cellphone, his parents bought it for him so they could keep tabs on him better and what not
 >Neal loved the new phone and texted me frequently, as far as I know I'm the only one he texted
 >So while we were sitting in class one day that the teacher actually attempted to teach the tards something, Neal sent me a text saying hi
 >Ms. Springer saw him send this message unfortunately
 >She made the very terrible mistake of taking Neals shitty cellphone
 >Neal didn't take to this to kindly, in fact he took it terribly
 >As soon as she took it out of his hand he let out a raptard screech so fearsome it made Ms. Springer drop his phone
 >At this point Neal thought he had broke her phone and went into full on rage mode, I made no attempts to calm him down because she brought this upon herself
 >The tards ran rampid, it was as if Neal was Liontard and he was leading an army of tards against Ms. Springer, all he needed was the blue facepaint
 >The tards commenced their attack on anything within their reach
 >The very same tard as the previous times was in reach of the stapler and this time ms. springer wasn't smart enough to hide under her desk
 >That tard grabbed the stapler and hurled it with all his might, when it connected with Ms. Springer it was as if Chernobyl had just happened in her head
 >And she's down for the count
 >1... 2... why even bother she was fucking out
 >Now that it appeared as if somebody had suffered extreme headtrama I figured I might as well help a little.
 >Turns out that Neals phone was fine, the battery just fell out, I put it back in and handed it to him and he returned to his realm of not giving a fuck about the damage he had caused
 >Turns out Neal was leaving early that day so he bailed before the tardwranglers even got there to clean up the mess
 >Neal just walks out the door looking at his phone, and simultaneously waving to me behind him
 >"buypil"
 >"Cya Neal"
 don't fuck with neals shit
 
 >Be in 8th grade
 >Be in 4th marking period now
 >Shit has been far from smooth for neal lately, as I said before he destroyed some bitch recently and wasn't sparing a single fuck to give about it
 >Cus of this tardwrangler has been paying close attention to Neal, trying to prevent him from getting into any more trouble
 >lol nice try
 >During the period that I help the tards out there was a major tardmergency on the other side of the school, it required all tardwranglers so Neal was left alone for the time being
 >As soon as the tard wrangler is out, someone walking over to us
 >It's james the dick head, no doubt approaching to start shit with Neal
 >Neal was playing the pacman freetrial on his phone and could not give a shit about anything else going on
 >James is now standing directly infront of us
 >"Ay pil wai yu always wit nile"
 >"James just leave please, go read or something"
 >"Ba I wan tu see wat nile es doing, watcha doin nile?"
 >Neal is completely focused on the pacman game, and nothing else
 >James grows angry that Neal won't let him see what he's playing
 >James grabs the phone from Neal mid-game, as James looks at the phone all you hear is the "womp, womp, womp" sound of pacman dying
 >Bad idea james, bad idea
 >Neal emits the raptard screech as he stares at james with the fury of 1000 burning migits
 >James is now able to resist the screech to an extent, but it is futile none the less, his future was set the second he touched Neals phone
 >Neal approaches james with very blatant cruel intentions
 >When Neal is within striking range, he begins to cock back his leg back as far as possible
 >The tardwrangler is now turning the handle of the door, too late now though james man hood is about to be decimated
 >Neal unleashes the most powerful kick every performed by man, when it collided with james nuts it was as if there was a disturbance in the force
 >James drops and for the second time now he was throwing up due to Neals intentions of making sure his family line ends with him
 >The tardwrangler restrains Neal as fast as possible, although it wasn't needed, Neal had stopped his screech now, and was back to his oh so blissful state
 >As he was being yanked out the door way he waves over to me
 >"buypil"
 >Got a text 15 minutes later "hiphil"
 >People need to learn not to fuck with Neals shit
 
 Neal vs. Barb the bitch
 >Be in 8th grade still
 >Be in the final few months of school before summer starts
 >Kinda sad that i'm not gonna see Neal for a while again
 >Walking to TardHQ with Neal to in between periods
 >Neal wasn't paying very much attention, as usual, he was just talking and looking down at his feet as if he was mystified by how the allowed him to walk
 >I see Barb the bitch walking down the hallway in the corner of my eyes
 >Barb got this nickname because, well she's a huge bitch, even to tards
 >Sense Neal wasn't paying attention he walks directly into Barb and knocks her onto the ground
 >He quickly says sorry and motions to help her up
 >The bitch smacks his hand out of the way and starts to yell "WHY DON'T YOU WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING"
 >poordecisions.jpg
 >Neal takes this as an imminent threat unleashes his short burst roar (his only warning that he is about to slap someones shit)
 >Barb continues to yell "WHY ARE YOU MAKING THAT SOUND NEEDLE DICK"
 >I begin to grow angry with her "Barb what the hell is your problem"
 >Neal just puts his arm in front of me like he's telling me he's got this
 >Neal dives for her legs and she topples over
 >She struggles but Neal has engaged raptard strength, resistance is futile
 >He gets into a full mount position on top of her and positions his head directly over hers
 >The roar has stopped
 >wut.jpg
 >All that can be heard throughout the hall is the sounds of phlegm being draw up someones throat
 >It's Neal
 >He slowly lets the nastiest lougy I have every seen drip out of his mouth and directly onto her forehead
 >It seeped onto her forehead and then down the sides of her head
 >Barb proceeded to cry and gag so hard she was choking
 >Neal sees this as a sign that he has won and releases her from his tard strength grapple
 >He says "Comepil" motioning over toward the TardHQ
 >It was as if he erased the memory from his head entirely, and it was glorious
 Captia: heybarb round
 Shit it was meant to be