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1
Jad's wiry frame barely makes a dent in the couch cushion and he's jittery like he usually is when he's planning something. He reaches into his pocket and takes out his stress ball, rolling it between his hands like a therapist starting a timer.
2
"Given the evidence presented before me, I'm going to hypothesize that Abby broke up with you." he says.
3
"She says that we drifted apart over the summer when we were on different sides of the country. Now that I'm back, she understands that it wasn't just the distance. She says that I'm not 'emotionally responsive' enough. What does that even mean?"
4
"Why didn't you ask her?"
5
"It's hard to think when your heart is shattered. Do you think I'm 'emotionally unresponsive'?", I dare to ask, making an uncomfortable amount of eye contact with him to read his expression.
6
"Ah, well... Do you want the honest answer to that question?", he replies, continuing to stare straight ahead at the slapstick comedy movie posters adorning our wall.
7
I grab another handful of jujubes in preparation.
8
"Hit me."
9
"I'm assuming that by 'emotionally unresponsive', she means that you don't connect emotionally with other people and she probably doubts that you even know how to connect with yourself."
10-
He holds up a finger to silence me before I can make a masturbation joke.
10+
11
"What? I understand people."
12
"The first thing you said after I introduced you to my friend Dev was that he smelled pretty good for a hippy."
13
"It was a joke. Also, I've never met a person with dreadlocks that wasn't a hippy. It's not like I told you he wasn't allowed in our apartment anymore."
14
"As for the second point,  what is it that you are actually working towards? You hate your studies and you've never mentioned any side projects."
15
“Why do I need 'work towards something' in the first place? Anyways, even if you're right and I do need to fix these 'problems', what can I do about that?”
16
"Okay. One question at a time. There's nothing wrong with being happy, you're the one that asked about improvement in the first place. As to what you can do about it...  What is it you want to achieve anyways?"
17
"Closure? I want to see if she's right, I guess. "
18
"Do you think she's right?"
19
"No?"
20
"I think our old friend the scientific method could help here. What if you tried being a more caring person? You know fake it until you make it and analyse the results."
21
"How do I even fake being more caring?"
22
"You can try cognitive behavior therapy.”
23
“That sounds like something out of a self-help book.”
24
“Or there might be something we can print.”