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I wrote this for a website a while back and they never took my submission, so here it goes. Teletubbies Overanalyzed

 

As an avid science fiction reader and parent of what was a toddler who is rapidly approaching tweendom, I spent many an hour with the Teletubbies. It dawned on me that Teletubbies is no more than a modern retelling of H.G. Well's Time Machine. In Well's Time machine there existed a symbiotic relationship between the Morlocks who lived underground and the Eloi, the child like race from the surface world. Both Tubbies and Eoli live on the surface in idyllic conditions where they are fed and clothed by machines. Both are child like and nearly androgynous (see Tinkywinky). Both respond to commands from deep underground. The Eloi of the Time Machine are controlled by the air raid siren, the Teletubbies by the speaker which emerges from the ground. Both fear the dark, but in Teletubbies world this is represented by Baby Sun. The Sun being a symbol of innocence, life and goodness, implying that the opposite of baby sun would be evil darkness. As we know from Wells original book, darkness is when the Morlocks come to steal the Eoli away for food. Or in Tubby talk, Time for Tubby Bye Bye!

 

Furthermore I submit that the modernization of the Teletubbies goes into our current process by which we grow beef. The Eloi were cattle. Teletubbies takes this to it's logical conclusion be designing the Tubbies as cow like creatures fully fattened up for the slaughter. I submit to you that their adventures/belly tv shows and magical things they witness were mere hallucinations from the hormone infested Tubby Toast and Tubby Paste supplied to them by their underground masters. Tubby Paste is probably made from other Tubbies giving them a sort of Mad Cow Disease causing them to randomly jerk around or "dance". These creatures gladly do what the voices from the ground tell them and I am sure they will walk blindly, happily unaware to the slaughtering room when it's time for Tubby Bye Bye.