Slate vocaroo this shit

He can open a Piñata, with a wink and a smile.
He can speak spanish, in russian.
He has never relied on Mistletoe.
He is the life of parties he has never attended.
His words carry weight that would break a less interesting mans jaw.
His charm is so contagious vaccines have been created for it.
His legend precedes him the way lightning precedes thunder.
He is... the most interesting Slate in the world.

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink Dos Equis.