NeoReactionSafeCult

[–]to NeoreactionSafe sent 26 days ago

How is it any different? It might be based on logic; but if you get your ass kicked somewhere, there's no way you can frame it in any way other than that you got your ass kicked because you're not good enough.

Just wanted to get your angle on it.

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 26 days ago

Frame is an internal thing.

Frame is freedom... but not liberty.

Liberty is Game which is your ability to effect the outside world and you must separate these two concepts.

When you get your ass kicked that means your Game failed and your liberty was "superceded" by another... in a sense it's when you "get played".

When you lose the Game you don't lose your Frame.

...unless you choose by poor discipline to lose Frame.

No tyrant can ever take your Frame away unless you let them.

The Blue Pill emotional indoctination teaches you on an emotional level to surrender your Frame to the hive mind.

This is why the Blue Pill is so devious... it achieves what all the tyrants have failed to achieve throughout history which is to capture and program slaves with high efficiency. It's budget priced slaves.

Our task in Red Pill is to increase the cost of slavery and ultimately bring the system to ruin and we do that by exposing the truth which has the effect of destroying the mythology.

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 25 days ago

I think you're mistaken; because if you had such choices, why would anyone ever be sad or depressed? Why would anyone ever lose if they could just choose to win?

How do you not lose your frame when someone defeats you? Doesn't that prove that everything you thought and told yourself was not the case? How do you not let someone break your frame? How do you hold positivity when every outcome you ever have is negative? Why doesn't it overwhelm you completely? That's part of why I never do anything; because the very thought of failure is so agonizing, not to mention the inevitable real failure that happens whenever I try. Some of us are just fucked; we've always been losers and always will be. It's only through the existence of such losers as I that you're able to even be alpha to begin with.

And you're not really destroying the mythology; you're just putting a new one on top of it. It's equally fallacious. I mean; I take it that you're probably mostly sane. You've probably never heard voices in your head screaming at you to kill people or yourself. Have you?

Because, that's part of my problem. There is no maintaining frame for me; because my thoughts are not my own, ever. There is never a moment in any given day that I don't hear screaming of some kind. My emotional makeup has always been one of misery and pain; the entire 27 years of my life has been this way. I've been suicidal for as long as I can remember.

Some people can have this internal thing that you're talking about; but there are those of us who cannot. No matter what happens; no amount of frame can keep the voices away. No amount of lying to yourself changes the fact that you're worthless if you are. I am; I've seen it. I know it. It's plain as day; written in every failure I've ever had.

Discipline has nothing to do with it. It takes everything I have just to stay working and not kill myself. (although it would probably be better for everyone if I actually got the balls to do so.)

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 25 days ago

There is no maintaining frame for me; because my thoughts are not my own, ever.

Then you do not have a solid Frame.

This is very clear. You have not achieved this first level.

Game is your liberty as you act beyond your Frame and in that scenario there is outcome independence because you aren't betting your Frame while practicing Game.

Frame is defense, Game is offense.

My advice is to continue to Kill the Beta which is what makes your Frame weak. You will never have self confidence if you continue operating with Blue Pill programming.

On the positive side... we all start with the default Blue Pill programming.

So obviously others are "getting it" and advancing through the levels.

You need to get Angry about the Blue Pill.

Watch this again... fully...

http://www.disclose.tv/action/viewvideo/104239/Star_Trek_the_Cage/

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 22 days ago

I can't watch that; the link won't work at my work computer. (The only way I have internet access.) And I wouldn't really take anything in (((Star Trek))); aka SocialistWonderlandinSPACE seriously since it's pure POZ.

You're not getting this clearly; there is nothing that can be done to do what you're asking. Nothing at all; it's not possible. Not for someone like me.

Getting angry about this isn't really going to do anything; and it pales at my anger at the Jews for subverting our society and even making it necessary for men to behave like you do just to attract women.

Again; have you ever heard voices in your head? Did you ever try to kill yourself? Have you ever been 'not you' but someone else pretending to be you? It's not blue pill programing that removes any confidence; it is the realities of the situation. The reality is:

I'm a white guy with no muscle who has extreme bouts of insane shit happen to him; with the occasional spat of mental illness to boot, that has no chance of any kind of future outside of living at home until my inevitable suicide when my mother dies. My society hates me because of my race and sex. Other men hate me because I'm not tough. Women hate me because I exist.

I cannot achieve your "first level". I can hardly function in my day to day life; much less try to spit bullshit to women that I don't really feel. There can be no defense against a chorus of "KILL YOURSELF FAGGOT" erupting out of your mind every time you go anywhere. Have you ever heard a set of voices like that?

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 22 days ago

Have you ever heard a set of voices like that?

Actually yes I have.

I was living in San Diego with a girlfriend who was a programmer (as was I) and she owned this nice home (McMansion) and commuted to Texas every other week for business. So I'd get bored and just get drunk on wine because there were no local programming jobs there. (I had moved south from SF area)

Anyway...

My mind was constantly buzzing so I'd try to drown it out with alcohol which worked for a time, but my sleeping got worse and worse.

Pretty soon I couldn't get a good nights sleep.

What happens when your sleep is disrupted?

You go nuts.

Your dreams become your realities and you start to hear voices and imagine terrible things happening.

They have tested marines to see how long they can go without sleep under a stressful situation and found they all go insane after a couple weeks.

So I know exactly what you are into.

Ever tried Kava Kava?

It's better than Xanax as far as I'm concerned. Only tried Xanax once and thought it was effective but left you broken feeling afterwards.

My advice:

Order some Kava Kava (pills are easiest) and relax.

Once your sleep patterns return to normal it all clears up.

 

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 22 days ago

So I know exactly what you are into.

Did they tell you to kill yourself? To kill your girlfriend? Man, sleep deprivation is a long shot away from Schizophrenia. (Which is probably what I have; it runs in the male line. Every man in my family on Old Man's side has gone batshit insane at age 40.) A severe long shot. No fixing of sleep patterns is going to stop this shit. Only a bullet. And it's been going on ever since I was seven; not from sleep deprivation. I hear them in my sleep, when I'm awake. They interrupt my dreams...

And even then; you don't know. You can't. You recovered; I cannot. You achieved more than I could ever dream of; and you still refuse to acknowledge that. There is no way to fix my sleep patterns. The only shift I can work is third shift; the only job I can have and not get worse is the one I've got. College is right out--since I flunked out of music school due to being shitty in 2008--and so is any other career path.

And again; you only got this way because you couldn't sleep. I'm this way--no matter if I sleep or not, no matter what drugs I'm on or anything else. The voices are always there; always screaming, never ceasing.

There is no way to order Kava Kava; all my money goes to the support of the household. It's all hand to mouth; and no way to ever get out of that trap. I've tried everything that can be done aside from dropping it all and moving--and I can't even do that. (that would not only require money I don't have for deposits and other things, but I don't ever make enough to pay for rent plus utilities plus food. Nor do I own the car I drive, it's on loan from my grandparents.)

I just don't think you get exactly how shitty life in Alabama is; and there is no alternative. I'm just stuck here until my mother dies, and then maybe I can get the balls to do the world a favor and shoot myself.

(And I can't take xanax; most pills give me terrible reactions, and I'm not taking a chance on getting back on some kind of Jew-pushed POZ poison just to fit in slightly in normie society. I know that I'm worthless; it's just how things are. All the evidence points in that direction and there is nothing around to refute it.)

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 21 days ago

I've given advice:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kava

Kava is renowned for its many health benefits, but the chiefly among them is its anxiolytic properties. A journal article titled ""Kava: A Comprehensive Review of Efficacy, Safety, And Psychopharmacology." from the Australian & New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, reviewed all scholarly journal articles related to kava found in scholarly electronic databases, they found that "The current weight of evidence supports the use of kava in treatment of anxiety with a significant result occurring in four out of six studies reviewed" [18]

My comment:

About a decade ago there was a scare in the Kava Kava industry because some people were producing some low quality stuff. This was so well broadcast around the world that Kava Kava products nearly went out of business. There is significant efforts now to be certain of purity.

Kava Kava has calmed minds for centuries.

Last year I bought two pounds of highly concentrated powder (10:1 condensate) which meant that like 20 pounds of the stuff. All last winter I used it... but got bored of being so calm all the time.

All I can say is take my advice (and possibly live) or ignore my advice and effectively insult me.

You have free will.

(I'd advise the pill form... just buy a bottle for $6 or so on ebay)

 

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 21 days ago

I'm not trying to insult you; but it does read that way on both sides. Here you are, telling me that your sage advice is all that stands between me and peace of mind. Did you not read my messages; or are you just ignoring certain parts of it because they don't conform to the advice you can give?

This isn't about sleep, calm, or anxiety. The anxiety is simply a co-morbid symptom. Treating it will not treat the other issues such as hearing voices, seeing things and having intrusive thoughts. That's what causes the anxiety.

And I believe that I insulted myself more than I ever cast any derision on you. All I've said is that my situation is inescapable. I don't have six bucks to spend on herbal pills; I don't have six bucks to feed myself at work tonight for my twelve hour shift.

It's not that I'm just ignoring your advice; but it's that I literally cannot enact it. It's not possible. Kava Kava isn't going to make the voices go away. I know this from experience; if you don't treat the cause of the anxiety, anxiety meds are only going to work for a bit, until you have to up your dose in order to get the same effect. I had this issue in my younger years since the doctors refused to believe that I heard voices at such a young age.

But of course; you probably don't believe me either. That's just how things are. All men have always despised me; it's why I was very anti-male in my youth. (Plus all the BP shit that they flood you with. Not only that; but being in Alabama, you can imagine what the other guys in my class were like. If they weren't a hip hop nigger, they were Jimmy Rebel...)

Free will is an illusion; we only have reactionary agency. If we truly had free will; there would be no sadness, madness or anything else negative, since you could just ignore it. But the truth is; you can't ignore it. It eats away at you, slowly but surely driving you even more mad until finally you step in the closet with a belt to do a Robin Williams impersonation.

I'm not concerned about purity of product; since the product in question isn't able to treat what's wrong with me. It's not just simple anxiety. The anxiousness comes from worrying and wondering about when the next burst of psychopathy is going to come. When is the next breakdown? When will my thoughts turn to uncontrollable visions of torture and other unspeakable acts? When will the voices come back and demand that I kill everyone alive so that I can finally have some Quiet? When is the next strike of Fate? When will our lives go back to hell because we didn't have enough money to pay this bill or that bill? When are the cars going to all break down at once again; leading me to walk the ten miles through the woods to work?

The symptom is merely that; the only way to fix my life is to end it. What good could there be from my living; when my living is exactly what the problem is?

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 20 days ago

You are wrong again.

Kava Kava simply relaxes your muscles and gives a peace of mind. There is almost no effect on your thinking.

It's more like yoga.

I just ordered 8 boxes of Kava Kava pills last night on eBay for $16.

Each box had 30 pills and so that 240 doses of 500mg each.

My guess is that I'll do about three pills at a time. (before sleeping)

That means 50 days of relaxation and waking up feeling great.

Cost?

32 cents per night.

...so seriously, you don't want to give yourself peace at 32 cents per day?

 

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 19 days ago

How will muscle relaxers effect schizophrenia?

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 19 days ago

It's like yoga.

There is a mind / body connection in our human existence. When the mind becomes disconnected from the body the mind goes crazy.

"He's lost his mind."

Red Pill is about reconnecting the mind and body and rediscovering nature within yourself.

Anxiety produces PTSD.

I've talked with military guys with severe PTSD and they experience the very same experiences as in schizophrenia.

The mind cannot remain stressed for very long before it snaps.

In war they have found people snap within a few weeks of battle.

You say:

"But I'm not in a battle."

...and I'd say, well, yes you are because schizophrenia feels like there is a war going on.

Kava Kava simply relaxes the body.

The mind has this way of following the body.

Yoga has the same effect. If you do yoga you learn that certain positions of the body will alter your mental state.

This wisdom goes back thousands of years.

So my advice is:

Kava Kava for the short term

Take a Yoga class to gradually learn your body and how to calm it down.

 

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 16 days ago

No chance for a yoga class; all of those things are held at hours where I'm not away. You're not getting it, man. Not getting it at all. Those guys are combat veterans; nothing I have suffered will ever be anything close to it. I cannot claim that; and I will not. It's disrespectful to those who actually suffered to dare and claim those four letters.

There is no short term; no long term. Just futility, misery and the eternal grind. Eventually; it will all burn away, and I'll finally have the guts to kill myself, but until then; I'm just waiting. I had an episode this week; where I ended up actually firing off a few shots before I could be talked down. (That and mother trying to wander off in the snow to die in her own way; we're always having breakdowns and shitstorms like that, at least once every month or so when my sister decides to kick her entitlement into overdrive and act as a willful child.)

I can't get Kava Kava; I don't have the money. What about that didn't you get; or do you think that I can just short one of my bills or something? Every red cent I get goes hand to mouth; no other options.

Honestly; it would be best for everyone if someone took up a bitcoin collection to hire me a DNM assassin. (Though I know those guys have to be bullshit; there's no way it's that easy or even legitimate, but it's fun to dream) Life is for those who are good at it; I've never been good at it. All it does is hurt and there isn't a single thing I can think of that I could actually do to make it fulfilling.

Fate's hand in all things.

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 16 days ago

I did all I could to help.

Red Pill is not a place for finding help except to wake you up to the Blue Pill conditioning, but you are into full scale mental illness it would seem.

Here's a thought:

You will die eventually anyway... why not just live until a natural death?

Why the desire to control things?

If there are ghosts haunting you then why listen to them?

Have you ever just told the voices you aren't interested?

That's how it was for me. I pretty much decided I was going to live out my life and basically told my own "personal demons" to "fuck off and leave me alone".

You might be surprised that if you showed some courage that they will get scared away. Ghosts (or whatever) seem attracted to minds that allow them to penetrate them, so just confront those demons. That's the idea of an exorcism in that you make a ceremony where you scare away the demons.

...it's just a thought.

Best of luck and let's not continue this anymore okay?

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 15 days ago

If there are ghosts haunting you then why listen to them?

Have you ever had something pull your attention so fully that you found it hard to look away to anything else? It's not an option to just tell them to go away. That kind of thing only makes them louder.

The desire to control things is the desire for stability; but more importantly the desire for everything to simply be over. That's all I want; I want it to be over. Why not live until a natural death? Why live with constant agony and no respite? Why suffer needlessly when death is better? Why would someone like you want me to live?

There is no telling them that I'm not interested; any interaction with them makes them louder and more forceful.

Courage is for those who can have it; I cannot. True fear is what makes cowards of us all.

And of course; I am full on into mental illness. You didn't listen to any of that for the entire time we've been talking. You refused to acknowledge it until you could use that fact to shout me down and distance yourself because you only want to help the men you can help.

I can't just decide for it to be over; unless I've finally managed to get the balls to end it all. That's the only way. You can't just confront something like this. You can't just stare down self-loathing that's seated so deep that you can't get rid of it. You can't out shout existential despair.

You only want to discontinue this because you, like everyone else, cannot weather the storm. It proves that TRP is pointless hedonism and that it cannot address the greater concerns of men in today's world. I'll keep messaging you until you block me; you're just going to have to deal with that. It might not all be negative drivel; but most of it will be.

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 15 days ago

I've been there.

At some point the questions do get existential... "can I continue with all these voices talking at me?"

All I can say is the moment you realize the voices are ghosts you begin to laugh.

Maybe they are real evil spirits.

Did you ever watch that tv series a while back called "Medium"?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medium_(TV_series)

You see some of us have a kind of psychic antenna that listens to "stuff" and at first you think you are crazy, but in reality you are experiencing the authentic spirit world.

Once you "get it" then you realize these eveil demons like haunting people with "open minds" but who lack courage.

You choices are:

Become brave

Allow your fear to kill you

...it's a choice you must make.

I made my choice some 20 years ago and chose courage and life.

 

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 15 days ago

I know about spirits, Ser. I was raised by a witch, and Alabama is haunted as fuck. And if you think that courage is all it takes, you're sadly mistaken. And the voices aren't spiritual; they're purely psychological. Otherwise; it wouldn't be a threat. But it's more than you can know; You haven't been here. It's evidenced by your lack of acknowledgement of any of the things I've told you. There's no way you can flip the script here; there is no choice to be made. Fear has killed me a long time ago; there never was any other way it could have played out. There's no 'get it' moment to just wish away existential knowledge or terror. There's no blissful truth that can awaken any kind of bravery. You can't just 'become brave'. You either are, or you are not.

I have never been anything but a coward; why won't you believe me?

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 14 days ago

So you desire to join the long list of cowardly suicides?

The first Natural law goes:

"All is Mind; the Universe is Mental"

...assuming this is true (which I think it is) then you really aren't escaping anything.

 

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 14 days ago

I never argued that I wasn't a coward; and yeah, it's all I've wanted for a long time. What else is there? There's nothing; nothing else I can really do. Anything else I attempt will end in failure; and I'm sure that Fate will find some way to keep me alive in a torturous hell forever. That's just how things go.

And your natural laws are bullshit. They can't be proven outside of your theoretical framework. Against the hard firmament of misery; the mind is nothing.

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 13 days ago

"All is Mind; the Universe is Mental"

Concepts

This principle explains that Mind is the Universe’s common principle; it is unique energy that is the essential force within the chemical composition of the elements.

Mind energy manifests in an infinite scale of vibrations, from the densest to the most subtle, and makes up the diverse materials and elements of the Universe.

From the point of view of someone who thinks, thoughts are fantasy or illusion, yet each thing has a real identity within its own scale of vibration (e.g. a ghost is real to another ghost).

Matter is born from thought. People also create through their mind. The energy of human thoughts creates matter when they attain sufficient density of vibration.

 

Death might not change anything.

If you are having troubles in the spirit world now why wouldn't be just as bad if you returned entirely to it?

Hell is in the mind.

Hell is alienation from the Universe which is mental.

Hell is attempting to escape into Nihilism, Materialism.

...so if you use your time in the living to understand more then you are better off either living or dead.

Truth is the same before your life, during your life and afterlife.

 

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 12 days ago

Still not getting anywhere, man. Not at all. There's no understanding that I can reach that will overcome this. It's all consuming; there's no purpose to any of it, and you can't make one, because it will just be proven false. I know it will be just as bad; that's just how the universe works. I'm cursed; and no matter what happens I will suffer. Against the hard rock of misery; the mind is nothing. I don't give a damn about any of it; because I've never been cut out for any of it. It's pointless.

There is no understanding more. We stand at the brink of constant nuclear annihilation. The realities of economics and achievement limit the pile to a select few, and fewer still each day. Relationships and the family structure have been entirely destroyed by vapid whores, conniving Jews and hedonistic idiots. The media is gatekept by these same Jews to prevent any other creative force from entering the public consciousness. Narratives are crafted and remain unchallenged; and just like Kojima predicted, we are retreating into ever increasingly small internet hugboxes.

Why should I live? There is no point; nothing worth doing and nothing worth seeing. It's all been rendered into shit at this point. I understand hell is in the mind. It's everywhere; it's fated. It's unescapable; and if you think you're not miserable right now you're just lying to yourself. Everything is terrible and should never have been at all.

The only good thing is Nothing; the only sweet sound, Silence. It's all I want; it's all I care about. Nothing else can persuade me; because I don't believe anything else to really be there. There's no other way this story ends.

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 12 days ago

If you have a passion to defeat the Blue Pill Globalist new order what could you do to destroy it?

That might be a passion to pursue.

Of course to pursue such a passion you would need mastery over your spirit which you lack right now.

Maybe that's the motivation for sanity?

To help awaken the masses of the Global slavery.

I know that motivates me... I destroy the Blue Pill daily in my words.

 

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[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 11 days ago

No you don't. You simply trigger people into going away from you on the internet and nursing grudges against men who don't follow the line.

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 12 days ago

And the story of Lawnmower Day: When I was six; my old man had moved out to Anniston to continue his trade (dealing cocaine) and during our bi-weekly visitation we had to stay in this trap house since it was where he lived. One time; during our summer's visitation where we'd be there for two weeks at a time and come home on the weekends, Edd and I were playing with the neighbor boy on their trampoline. (Edd was three at the time.) We had no supervision; because Old Man had more important things–at least, to him–going on. (Traveling every summer to Miami to resupply.) Well; Anthony (the neighbor kid) was my age and he was then told to mow the lawn. Now; I don't know how old you are, or where you’re from, but this kid had no business using a gas powered, self propelled lawnmower. Especially since his redneck parents had duct taped the kill switch down so that if the thing got away from him, it wouldn't quit since he wasn't strong enough to use the pull cord starter. I bounded off the trampoline and I had assumed Edd was right behind me. (He wasn't . He'd fallen down; and was struggling to get back up.) That's when it happened. Fate struck. Right after I had gotten inside and turned the NES on; Susan–old man's fucktoy/pill connect at the time–came in, shouting at me how Edd was going to die and it was all my fault. The lawnmower had run over his leg, nearly cleaving his foot in two and severing his fourth toe completely from his right foot. So; we sped to RMC hospital in Anniston, with me, crying and squeezing his foot to keep him from bleeding out. Susan just dropped us off there; left us with no one telling me "This is all your fault; you fix it, his blood is on your hands." If it weren't for my eidetic memory and my knowledge of my Mother's family's information; he'd have just bled out since they have to contact a parent to admit a minor into care if they aren't brought in an ambulance. One could say; that I never left that hospital lobby. I've been plagued with constant suicidal ideation ever since then.

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 12 days ago

I once nearly chopped the finger off my younger brother in an accident.

These things happen... if you weren't with hostility trying to harm another (a true acident) it's no spiritual crime.

Actually with that same brother I broke his arm playing "Kill the Carrier".

My other brother I hit with a crowbar in the head during a fight.

...kids do stupid things.

We grow up eventually.

 

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 11 days ago

You might think so; but it doesn't matter. You're strong; I'm not. That's just how it is. I don't think you're capable of understanding where I'm coming from. No amount of reasoning can get out of this; it's an impulse. An impulse so strong; that not even LSD can cut it out of my psyche.

There is no other way this story ends.

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 11 days ago

You chose your path not me.

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 8 days ago

Choice is an illusion; I never blamed you. But I didn't chose to be abused by my old man; I didn't chose to get bullied in school. I didn't chose any of this; it's just how life happens, fate twists and turns and we are simply dust in it's gale.

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 8 days ago

Consciousness is built into the universe itself because the fundamental enabling unit is electricity.

Electricity is why consciousness "seems" so fluid.

Do you notice how things just sort of flow?

This is because the nerves and the brain all interact based on electricity and with electricity there is in parallel magnetism:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electromagnetism

...now you might say:

"Oh, that's boring physics."

Well, despite how seemingly simple it might appear this is really, really deep when you apply it to consciousness.

Suddenly you realize the entire universe is alive with vibrations and interactions between electricity and magnetism and it's other form light.

All energy is just vibration.

Matter is just one form of vibration... in matters case "spin".

So once you comprehend this you ralize that the ego trapped idea of consciousness is simply wrong.

 

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 8 days ago

You can reduce it to that if you want to; but I don't think the Electric Universe theory is any count. And that has nothing to do with how things flow into one another at all.

What am I supposed to comprehend? That we're all one, man? That all this can just be ignored?

No amount of intellectual posturing can get around this. Believe me; I've tried. I know you won't; none of you ever do, it's just the way things are. But I have tried; and nothing EVER works.

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 7 days ago

If you choose your cage (the notion of the trapped ego) and if I tell you that you have locked yourself in that cage and can get out if you awaken to truth then it's really up to you to Red Pill that awakening.

I can only tell you the truth here...

"You can lead a horse to water but not make him drink."

The universe is consciousness itself. If you surrender your body early by taking your own life all that does is hasten your reconnection to the collective unconscious.

You've been tricked.

Somehow through your life experience you were emotionally trained to be internally confused and alienated. Your childhood sounds terrible.

If you take your own life then your abusers "win".

 

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 6 days ago

Nobody wins; not abusers, not anyone. And why should my suicide matter to you? You're not telling anything but basic bitch new-age crap that doesn't have any kind of backing.

What truth? What exactly are you trying to sell me?

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 6 days ago

Again; what cage? I haven't locked myself into anything; I've tried to escape and it fails. What about that do you not understand? Do you just think that there are unlimited chances? That mistakes aren't permanent?

If you fail once; you fail forever.

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 6 days ago

And explain the "Trapped Ego." You sound like a cultist with how you redefine everything.

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 6 days ago

The universe is consciousness.

You actually invent the ego out of your own training. Children begin life with no ego at all and imitate everything around them.

Red Pill teaches you to first increase your ego (Frame) and then later to exercise liberty to break out of the ego (Game) in order to maximize your power in the world.

So Game in effect reverses the teachings of Frame.

It's a paradox.

But for you the issue is establishing a Frame which is secure and that means you need to clean up all those ghosts that cause you discomfort.

As I've said before... something like Kava Kava has an amazing ability to relax your muscles which then relaxes your mind. It's a sort of "chemical yoga".

I know what you need to do, but ultimately I can only give advice. You have a road of self discovery and self conquest to complete. If you choose to take this struggle it may be very hard. If you choose to check out that might seem easier, but in the larger sense you don't escape anything but pain.

 

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 5 days ago

You really talk like a cultist. The fact that Game and Frame are near sacred words to you, and help explain the whole 'universe is consciousness' thing smacks of the tone used to recruit people into something.

That being said; pull consciousness out and show it to me. Lay it on a table and vivisect it so we can see that it really exists.

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 5 days ago

Oh yes, I plan to develop a cult where I will be their god.

It's all part of my master conspiracy to make people even more Blue Pill than they already are.

Did you get that?

Nothing I could invent to fool people could be any worse that what we already experience with the Blue Pill.

Seriously... wake up to the Red Pill, secure a solid ego boundry (Frame) then from that point of security you branch out into Game.

Freedom is internal (Frame) but Liberty involves action. (Game)

...nothing I ever say violates Natural Laws which (if you know your history) was central to the thinking of the Founding Fathers.

And from Natural Laws comes:

"The All is Mind, the Universe is Mental"

...so ponder how absurd your suggestion actually is.

I'm repeating truths from the Founding Fathers... and the Blue Pill has so completely hidden these truths from you that you no longer even recognize them.

 

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 1 day ago

Well, with the way you type "Kill the Beta", it does have a bit of a Manson Family ring to it. Especially with the way you're capitalizing words that are normally just random words; as if they have some kind of deeper meaning than using social coercion for acquiring sex and making other men feel bad about themselves.

There is no waking up to your "Red Pill." You and your ilk missapropriated this term from us, those who are wise to the Jewish Question. Are you wise to the Jewish Question?

Ego Boundary? What the fuck even is that? Your ego is just something to be crushed against the hard wall of reality; the pain of learning that you will never be anything worth being.

Natural Laws? Are you some kind of idiot sovereign citizen? There are no Natural Laws; only Force and the application of Force. Force rules all things. No matter what freedom you think you have, all political power flows outwards from the barrel of a gun.

The Founding Fathers? Everyone likes to get these poofter bunch of Masons in on whatever they're selling! It's like you're trying to sell me TRP by linking it to America and the Sovereign Citizen movement.

Chemical Yoga? Sorry, cheif; but it still sounds like you're selling something. And of course you completely forgot that all my finances go from hand to mouth. There is no opportunity or free money to get Kava Kava; and you don't even know how that would affect someone with Schizophrenia!

 

[–]from NeoreactionSafe sent 1 day ago

If you think the Founding Fathers lacked insights how can I possily turn that around?

You seem determined to make you life miserable enough so that suicide seems the better option and I can't tell you to do otherwise.

But if you seek a kind of "permission" it's not going to come from me.

I would rather you lived to be a wise man one day.

 

 

[–]to NeoreactionSafe sent 1 day ago

Don't lie. You don't care, and you don't want me to live. That's a load of shit you're trying to sell me to bring me around to your line of thinking.

And yeah, while they may have more qualifications than I do, I don't think they had as much insight as you accredit them. I'm a National Socialist, I don't hold Classical Liberalism to be anything more than an assault on civilization to try and ensure that merchants rule us all through money manipulation.

I don't need your permission; nor am I asking for it. You exposed yourself to my madness by responding to me at all, and I've already told you the conditions for my suicide. Mother has to die first, that way I don't have anyone trying to follow me afterwards. It's a Mexican Standoff.

Or, several other situations will result in my death. If I ever get arrested, if things implode at the house to where it's even worse than it is now. Hell; the mood might strike me at any time, and eventually, I will have the fortitude to go through with it. Suicide has always been the better option for me, because I am too defective to really ever have lived. In any other period in history, someone would have just killed me to spare everyone else the bullshit. That's what should have happened, a long time ago.

Do not offer me platitudes. I know you don't really mean them. It's just a way for you to lord your superiority over me. That's all that makes you alpha.

 

[–]from NeoreactionSafe sent 11 hours ago

Why do you want socialism? (national or otherwise?)

Russian Communism was 1918.

Nazi Party invented in the Bavarian Homosexual Club in 1919.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernst_Röhm

One American journalist later wrote, "[Röhm's] chiefs, men of the rank of Gruppenfuehrer or Obergruppenfuehrer, commanding units of several hundred thousand Storm Troopers, were almost without exception homosexuals."[6] In 1931, the Münchener Post, a Social Democratic newspaper, obtained and published Röhm's letters to a friend discussing his homosexual affairs.

Hitler was aware of Röhm's homosexuality. At this point they were so close that they addressed each other as du (the German familiar form of "you"). No other top Nazi leader enjoyed that privilege, and their close association led to rumors that Hitler himself was homosexual.[6] Röhm was the only Nazi leader who dared to address Hitler by his first name "Adolf" or his nickname "Adi" rather than "mein Führer."[5]

...Hitler would be 128 years old and was born before the creation of mass produced automobiles. (before Ford)

 

 

[–]to NeoreactionSafe sent 2 hours ago

You do know that most of the "hitler is le gay" meme is made up by Jews to discrdit National Socialism.

I want National Socialism because there is no reason our money supply should be influenced by commodities brokers. And Rohm's people were purged due to the terrible effects of homosexuality on people.

 

[–]from NeoreactionSafe sent 2 hours ago

Hitler spent 12 years in close contact with Ernst Rohm.

Now let me ask you this...

If you spent 12 years with a highly aggressive butch homosexual who made no attempt to hide his sexual orientation and you later claimed:

"Oh, I'm totally against homosexuality"

...how seriously would I be expected to believe that?

Come on, wake up.

Not only that but Hitler's grandfather was Jewish of the Dark Luciferian kind and used to love having sex with submissive peasant girls.

Does Eva Braun ring a bell?

There's such a thing as seeing the obvious.

Hitler simply exploited the German people... he was a socialist / fascist that viewed those below him as subhuman.

Hitler embodied the Zionist kind of mind and it was probably in part genetic because of his grandfather.

 

 

[–]to NeoreactionSafe sent an hour ago

Meh, it seems that you have no concepts of the Useful Idiot.

I am seeing the obvious; you just need some more hatefacts to absorb!

*Why does Israel promote open borders in Europe & the US, but not in Israel? *Why do dual passport Israelis promote nationalism in their own country but socialism in Western countries? *If diversity is so great, why is Israel building walls and deporting Africans to keep it out? *How many people died in the Holocaust? (answers 6M) How many people died in the Holomodor, the Soviet Purges, and the genocides committed by the Ottoman Empire? (doesn't know - it's 6M, 60M, and 2.5M, respectively) Why do you know the history of one genocide, but not the history of others? *How many Jews died in WW2? (6M) How many Americans died? (uhhhm...) 420,000 *America is only 2% Jewish, but America's billionaires are 48% Jewish - why are they so over-represented? *America is only 2% Jewish, but they control 70% of America's wealth (http://www.rense.com/general59/sdom.htm) *The world is only 0.2% Jewish, but they make up 11% of the worlds billionaires - why are they so overrepresented? *All things equal, a Jewish student is 47 times more likely to be accepted in an Ivy League school than a White student(http://davidduke.com/jewish-racist-discrimination-against-better-qualified-students-at-harvard/) *Did you know 6 Jewish owned companies control 96% of the media? *Why are both the GOP and the Dem Party supported by the Big Five (banks)? Doesn't that seem a little shady?

 

[–]to NeoreactionSafe sent an hour ago

And of course, you're still trying to get me to change my beliefs based on your cultist terminology. Dark Luciferian, Frame (being capitalized), Game (being capitalized, and other such things.

It's obvious that you've bought into your ideology so hard that you can't even begin to question it.

*You can objectively see differences between dog breeds, but when it comes to people, we're all just "one human race" despite quantifiable differences. *If you believe in evolution, how can you claim there's "one human race"? Various races developed in isolation for tens of thousands of years - is it scientific to presume we're all the same? *If race is only skin deep, why do some races consistently have higher SAT scores than others across all socioeconomic backgrounds? *If race is only skin deep, why can scientists determine a person's race by examining their saliva (eg 23andMe)? MUH SLAVERY: *Only 1.6% of US citizens owned slaves in 1860, when slavery was at its peak - why should the 98.4% be held guilty for something they didn't do over 150 years later? *Every civilization on Earth participated in slavery. Whites were the first race in history to abolish slavery, however it's still common among Arabs, Indians and Africans. *There were over 3,500,000 White slaves castrated, raped, and tortured in the North African Barbary slave trade, which happened at the same time as the Triangular slave trade. Why are Whites uniquely held guilty of slavery, and why is North African slave trade ignored? *Per capita, Hebrews owned just as many slaves as European-Americans. Why are only European-Americans held guilty? (if they reply "Muh Holocaust", see Talking Point regarding Holomodor below)

 

[–]to NeoreactionSafe sent an hour ago

Gender and Sexuality

Gay men are 60x more likely to have HIV than straight men. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3462414/

Women with more sexual partners are more likely to divorce. http://s3.amazonaws.com/thf_media/2003/pdf/Bookofcharts.pdf

Women with more than 20 sexual partners have an 80% chance of divorce. http://s3.amazonaws.com/thf_media/2003/pdf/Bookofcharts.pdf

White and Asian women have more successful marriages than black or Hispanic women. http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr049.pdf

Gay people are 2-3x more likely to abuse alcohol than straight people. http://www.amazon.com/Unequal-Opportunity-Disparities-Affecting-Bisexual/dp/0195301536

A women's number of sex partners is linearly linked to alcohol and drug abuse. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3752789/

1/4 gay men in America have had over 1000 sex partners. http://www.amazon.com/Homosexualities-Study-Diversity-Among-Women/dp/0671251503

43% of gay men have over 500 partners. http://www.amazon.com/Homosexualities-Study-Diversity-Among-Women/dp/0671251503

Gay men are six times more likely to commit suicide than straight men. http://www.amazon.com/Unequal-Opportunity-Disparities-Affecting-Bisexual/dp/0195301536

Gay men are 12x more likely to use amphetamines than straight men. http://www.amazon.com/Unequal-Opportunity-Disparities-Affecting-Bisexual/dp/0195301536

Gay men are 10x more likely to use heroin than straight men. http://www.amazon.com/Unequal-Opportunity-Disparities-Affecting-Bisexual/dp/0195301536

Liberal arguments in favor of homosexuality are based on logical fallacies. http://hrcak.srce.hr/index.php?show=clanak&id_clanak_jezik=19028&lang=en

Transsexuals who undergo sex reassignment surgery are more likely to commit suicide. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21364939

College majors with a greater proportion of women have lower average IQ's among their students. http://www.randalolson.com/2014/06/25/average-iq-of-students-by-college-major-and-gender-ratio/

Less attractive women are more likely to want careers. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2129456/Do-girls-want-career-attract-man-Provocative-study-casts-high-fliers-new-light.html

 

[–]to NeoreactionSafe sent an hour ago

Uncategorized

Less manly men are more prone to violence. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/08/150824211951.htm

Interracial people cannot receive organ donations http://content.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1993074,00.html

Sweden's HDI is expected to decline, likely due to immigration. http://ww.rrojasdatabank.info/HDRP_2010_40.pdf

Conservative and rural whites are discriminated against in college admissions. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/19/opinion/19douthat.html?_r=0

Attractive and successful women are more likely to be heterosexual. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/attractive-women-more-likely-to-be-100-heterosexual-claims-new-study-10470599.html

The diversity of hair and eye color among whites is an evolutionary adaptation. http://www.ceacb.ucl.ac.uk/cultureclub/files/CC2006-03-07_Frost.pdf

Liberals are equally as intolerant as conservatives. http://cdp.sagepub.com/content/23/1/27.abstract

Conservatives are happier than liberals. http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2239819

Conservatives have higher self esteem than liberals. http://peterjonason.com/uploads/Jonason-Personality_and_Politics.pdf

Individuals with low self-esteem are more likely to be liberal. http://www.gsb.stanford.edu/sites/gsb/files/publication-pdf/Belmi Neale Mirror Mirror OBHDP.pdf

Liberals consistently underestimate the compassion of conservatives. http://www.plosone.org/article/fetchObject.action?uri=info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0050092&representation=PDF

Liberals view themselves as more compassionate than they really are. http://www.plosone.org/article/fetchObject.action?uri=info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0050092&representation=PDF

Over 2000 genes have been subject to recent (post out-of-africa) evolution. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/20/science/20adapt.html

1% of Sweden's population is responsible for 63% of their crime. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3969807/

Homicide rates would be 5x higher today if not for medical advancements. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1124155/

Assimilation into a host culture improves well-being. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24364853

Traditional societies have 'very low' rates of suicide. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3067529

Human evolution is unceasing and continues to this day. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/20/science/20adapt.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1

Blue or grey eyed individuals are smarter and better coordinated. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-476244/Why-blue-eyed-boys-girls-brilliant.html

Random members of the same racial group may be closer related than grandparent to grandchild. http://www.humanbiologicaldiversity.com/articles/Salter%2C Frank. "Misunderstandings of Kin Selection and the Delay in Quantifying Ethnic Kinship." Mankind Quarterly XLVIII%2C no. 3 (2008).pdf

Hybrid vigor balances kin selection around third or fourth cousins. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/02/080207140855.htm

Higher individuality is linked to lower time preference. http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1481443

Extensive use of the death penalty in Europe is responsible for today's peace. http://www.epjournal.net/articles/western-europe-state-formation-and-genetic-pacification/getpdf.php?file=EP1302300243.pdf

Kinship between members of an ethnic group is greater than expected. http://www.humanbiologicaldiversity.com/articles/Salter%2C Frank. "Misunderstandings of Kin Selection and the Delay in Quantifying Ethnic Kinship." Mankind Quarterly XLVIII%2C no. 3 (2008).pdf

Southern cities, corrected for race and poverty, have less crime than northern cities. http://www.unz.com/article/race-and-crime-in-america/

Whites are genetically inclined to rural living. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/human-brain-hardwired-for-rural-tranquillity-8996368.html

Stereotypes are generally accurate, and prejudice relatively small and fleeting. http://www.amazon.com/Social-Perception-Reality-Dominates-Self-Fulfilling/dp/0195366603

Morally repugnant hypotheses are incorrectly viewed as less plausible. http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13164-015-0282-z

Remembering your ancestors increases intellectual performance. http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ejsp.778/abstract

Interracial couples devote less time to housework. http://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007%2F978-1-4614-1623-4_9

Human evolution took place as recently as 500 generations ago. http://biorxiv.org/content/biorxiv/early/2015/06/19/018929.full.pdf

 

[–]to NeoreactionSafe sent an hour ago

And if you're going with the Zionism is part genetic angle, plus Hitler being 1/4 Jewish; then ALL JEWS HAVE GOT TO GO! Still, the argument is leading to elimination.

You're the one who needs to wake up. Stop being such a degenerate and fight for your race.

 

[–]to NeoreactionSafe sent 1 day ago

And if the alpha never gets played, how does a loss not crush you entirely? I've never understood that at all. The idea of outcome independence. The outcome is everything; there is nothing else! If you lose once, you're fucked. You've lost forever. Your past failures will haunt you and hound you until you give up. (At least; that's what always happens to me. That and each new effort is always given over to failure.)

The outcome is all that matters, no matter what else happens, if you win, you win. If you lose, you're worthless.

 

[–]from NeoreactionSafe sent 11 hours ago

I'm gong to make a new post.

The Shit Test is an attempted Game play... if you "fail" you got played.

If you "pass" the Shit Test you weren't played.

...so I need to make this clear in the next post.

You have to realize that the slightest weakness in a post can get 100 guys immediately pissed off at you.

 

 

[–]to NeoreactionSafe sent 2 hours ago

And that's why you're in a toxic community. If you can't make a single mistake, then you're obviously in the wrong place.

You can't pass the shit test is the thing! You pass, you fail! You fail, you fail! Regardless of what happens, she will fail you if she feels like she needs the drama. And women always need the drama! They crave it, and will always fuck you over!

Read the Talmud, find out what they say about us Goyim and you'll know why you're being played by the Jews.

 

[–]to NeoreactionSafe sent 1 day ago

That being said; pull consciousness out and show it to me. Lay it on a table and vivisect it so we can see that it really exists.

 

[–]from NeoreactionSafe sent 1 day ago

That would be like proving electricity or light or gravity exists.

Our biology wasn't blessed with senses for everything. The scientist creates new types of sensors to discover the way the universe behaves. Just recently they discovered a way to measure gravity waves which had been a mystery for 100 years. (they turn out to really exist)

If you trust that electricity is real then consciousness is real.

When they check for brain waves what are they looking at?

Electricity... or more accurately they test for it's pair Magnetism.

 

 

[–]to NeoreactionSafe sent 1 day ago

No; it doesn't work like that. You either can prove it, or you cannot. That's the problem of consciousness and why psychology is a pseudoscience. And you have not solved that problem with your hamstering about sex and masculinity.

The gravity wave thing may or may not be the case; given that most scientists are in the pockets of the establishment nowadays. And of course the fact that you still have yet to answer my inquiry to your knowledge of the Jewish Question.

 

[–]from NeoreactionSafe sent 11 hours ago

There are two communities of Jews.

The religious Jews are based in a deep knowledge of the ancient original "Rubik's Cube" like understanding of the Torah:

Clearly explained why Orthodox Jews refuse to serve in IDF - YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3SJYRkI2hM

But there is a second community called Zionist:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rudolf_Kastner

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kastner_train

...and it is the second community that "speaks in the name of Jews" but are not religious and are best described as "Dark Luciferian".

So what we have is a case of identity theft.

The Jewish religion has been suppressed while the Globalist Zionist Dark Luciferian types have been an active part of bringing about the new age.

 

[–]to NeoreactionSafe sent 2 hours ago

Sorry, no. There are no good Jews. Zionist or no, they all view goyim as subhuman cattle, and they still follow the Talmud. You cannot refute that.

Stop cucking out for the Jews.

 

[–]from NeoreactionSafe sent an hour ago

I disagree.

There are those who are religious Jews and those that are Zionist.

We can hold different opinions.

In my view it's the "simplified singular view" that is the error, so not only do we disagree I'm not neutral and fully see your view as in error.

 

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[–]to NeoreactionSafe sent an hour ago

Your view is also the one promigulated by Jewish Media. Anal sex does not equivalate to the number of the beast.

 

[–]to NeoreactionSafe sent 49 minutes ago

And: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/47ss72/looks_dont_matter_or_why_women_consider_game/d0fefnq

Where you said: SMV has a physical... genetic... component, but there is no direct link between genetics and behavior.

So, which is it? Did Hitler act like a Zionist due to his hidden Jewish Heritage? Or is there no link between Genetics and Behavior?

 

[–]to NeoreactionSafe sent 2 hours ago

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2007/jul/02/russia.lukeharding1

http://popgen.us/2014/09/23/citizen-science-analysis-of-ashkenazi-y-chromosome-haplogroups/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madeleine_Albright

https://www.thedodo.com/kapparot-animal-slaughter-chickens-1355682268.html

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lavon_Affair

https://archive.org/details/AProgramForJewsAndHumanity

And there's ton more about how they're all bad.

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 12 days ago

I hate my life and want to die. No, really. Most of my waking moments are spent in a state like this; like how I post on reddit. In this kind of frothing, seething rage that just barely bubbles over. The main reason for this is because I've actually tried to improve my life; only to get shut down at every turn. Other periods of my extended malady include active and passive hallucinations. (The main one is that whatever I just saw is in my mouth; it's the worst with bugs. I get it whenever I smash one...) This would be manageable if I had control of my environment. (I don't. I live with my batshit, co-dependent Mother and two other siblings. My brother is married to a retarded girl that I can't stand and my sister is trying to use me as a father substitute since our old man is the worst of all people. Regardless of what happens; I will never hate anyone more. And it's not because mother turned me against him; that's just the natural reaction when you shove guns in the faces of your kids.) Old Man caused a lot of the problems I have; but I can't really say the four letters for it. (I find it disrespectful to actual combat veterans to say that. So I just say I'm weak and worthless. Makes more sense; especially with how everyone else seems to have suffered more but made it out.) He would shout you down into the floor and flog you with a belt for spilling a drink. (I was a very awkward, lanky boy. I was also extremely accident prone. I have scars on my back from where the lashes were.) He would make claims like that he was the great-great-great grandson of Jesus and the Indians; and that my maternal Grandfather was the incarnation of Satan. He used religion to terrorize us; and would then beat us whenever we prayed for release. He once pulled my arm out of socket when I was four when I tried to run away from a beating. He would give us things; only to make us give them to one of his friend's kids as a show of wealth. (Most petty of the things; but it really works a number on your idea of self worth.) And any mote of noncompliance triggered an apocalyptic response. The fucked up thing about this is most of it happened when they were divorced the first time. She remarried the asshole when I was thirteen and that kind of destroyed my idea of making it out of any situation alive. See, here in Alabama; we have a law that says that kids can choose which parent they live with mainly as long as both parents stay in the state and a new custody hearing is made. Trick is; you have to be thirteen to do it. I had spent the time from when I was five to that date counting the years, waiting for that time to come. Yeah it would mean abandoning my brother at the time to stay with old man alone; but I hated him pretty bad at that point. (One of old man's favorite things to laugh at was how Eddie cried when I tried to strangle him. Also, this is eventually what spurred my oath of pacifism.) But as we showed up to his house to collect what was going to be money for my first Band trip in school; she got out of the truck, and kissed him. That's when I knew that I would have always been better off shooting myself than anything else; because there is no way out of hell. ** This is Hell; and it never ends.** It's also why I know sluts gonna slut. Nothing matters--not even how bad your kids were wrecked by the Alpha--nothing but the dick. So for another five years; I lived in hell again. He started his backslide into his old ways slowly; under the guise of 'discipline' to try and get me to 'toughen up'. As soon as I had the opportunity; I moved out of there and in with my Grandparents. I finished out my senior year in Highschool and then worked for about two more before Mother Dearest would come begging me for help. Begging me to move back into hell and help try and evict the old man. (I had told her that I would never come back home until he was gone; forever.) I obliged; since most of my childhood with her was spent in a Mexican standoff. (Me wanting to kill myself; her threatening suicide to follow me so we could 'die together'. Her regaling me with the tale of my birth; how she had to stop her contractions from crushing me when I got stuck because the idiot OB doc rushed through her dialation to make me his first delivery. I wish she'd have just clamped her legs down and crushed me. She could have gone on to do other, better things and I would have been the grease stain I deserve to be.) Suffice to say; my presence was enough of a catalyst for Old Man to pull his shit once more, and united we threw him out. (He went really batshit for a while after that; stalking us through his contractor friends, harassing texts, telling my sister that she wasn't his child so he didn't want her to come see him. Now he's just strung out and doing his chicken fighting shit. I know where he is; so I'll be sure to correct that problem before I shove off at least.) Sadly; that didn't fix anything else. The house was still a mess; and because Mother Dearest can't be a bitch to the other siblings and make them clean; everything falls on us, which means me. That was about six years ago; and this bit of background doesn't include all of the other things: My experiment with homosex and gender disgust issues; my foibles in finding out that women will never desire me in any way. (Including two (2) separate instances where I was engaged; they broke it off each time.) It doesn't include the one year of college I tried and failed at because I cannot into higher maths or PC paper writing (Politically Correct; not computers...) I'm not sticking around any more after Mother dies. That's just how this story ends. It should have never even been; this life could have been used on someone greater who could overcome such problems. I'm giving her about ten to fifteen years--and that's a lot of screaming for me. After that; I don't want to put up with the world anymore. So; tell me how any of this could be fixed other than through my suicide. Because as it stands; I have no time to lift, nor anything else but slowly succumb.

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 12 days ago

My advice is to leave the house.

Figure out how to survive on your own... get on welfare if necessary.

I've got neighbors from Pakistan that because they are on welfare live for free in an apartment with two kids. They don't even work, the government gives away free stuff to foreign peoples.

All I can say:

"If what you are presently doing isn't working you need to try something different."

 

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 11 days ago

There is no welfare for white men. Your paki neighbor shouldn't be here.

There is no moving out; I have no money to do so. I can't survive on my own. The last time I tried that; I ended up in a fight with a good friend over his pistol. I was trying to kill myself. There is no way; no how, that I could ever move out. The guilt alone would kill me; if the stress didn't first. Trying something different doesn't work; because the results are all the same.

 

[-]to NeoreactionSafe sent 15 days ago

And, no; I don't watch Talmudvision, so I never watched Medium.

 

[-]from NeoreactionSafe sent 25 days ago

Faster loading:

http://video.disclose.tv/10/42/Star_Trek_the_Cage_104239_mobile_360p.mp4