Lovesick

>The country i live in has always been 'conservative' and old fashioned

 

>Even when the Monsterfolk appeared several decades ago

 

>We weren't big on Paladins, due to the country's history and shit, but people here are still pretty conservative

 

>And it kinda shows in our laws too, only the less 'savage' species were allowed in to legally live and own properties, be citizens and shit

 

>Namely Kobolds, Werecats, all sorts of Fairies, Elves, Centaurs, Holstaurs you get the idea. That meant abso-fuckin-lutely no crazy and whacky shit like Hellhounds, Wurms or Ogres running around. Strangely enough Demons of all kinds were allowed, but everyone always kept an eye on them, so only fucking in private or face expulsion for indecency.

 

>Yep, indecency was a big deal around. Thus, everything was all peaceful

 

>The story begins on 11th grade, don't know how that's called in your country and i don't give a shit, but it's the 11th year of school, then comes the 12th (duh) and that's it. You're fresh for college and thrown into life where shit gets real

 

>Anyways, my parents had to move away from the city i lived in, into another state, so i had to change schools, thankfully they did it after 10th year ended, so i wouldn't have to crash into unknown territory mid-year

 

>I was pretty depressed back then, some things that happened in my life, this and that. Moving away was the cherry on top

 

>I moved away several times when i was younger and i had completely lost contact with my childhood friends

 

>And just when i was starting to warm up to these new people i met, bam! moved away again

 

>I was pretty pissed/sad. I was already a little jaded, but after that i became a don'tgiveashit kinda guy

 

>So… It was my first day on that new place. A teacher guided me to my new classroom, each year was divided in four sections. Mine was 11-C, didn't really mean much to me back then, i honestly didn't gave two shits about it, they even let me choose, i told the principal to just throw me wherever, i was gonna move away soon anyways (which i supposed was going to happen, since this was the third time i found myself in a situation like this one)

 

>"This is it Mr. Kovac, may your last two years of school be fruitful and may you make many friends in your stay here!" She smiles

 

>"U-huh" i grunt

 

>The kind teacher leaves, mid-aged woman. No idea what classes she gives.

 

>And so, i take a really fucking deep breath and open the door, not too slow, not too quick

 

>Inside, a bunch of inquisitive eyes, all on me. Both Human and Demihuman. Been there, done that, nothing i couldn't handle.

 

>To my side, the homeroom teacher stands from her chair. She's a Werecat.

 

>"Good meowning, you must be Mr. Anon!". She said with a rather excited tone and yes, the said meowning… She comes closer and grabs me by the shoulder with her soft paw "Why don'tcha step up front and introduce yourself!"

 

>"Is this really necessary? Miss… Uh…"

 

>"Miss Kott! And yes, of course it's necessary!" Again with that overly excited tone, "You wouldn't want your new classmates to not know your name, would you? That'd be awfully rude! Now come, come, introduce yourself, I'm not gonna do it for you!"

 

>"Whatever" i grunt. "Ey, I'm Anon Kovac, seventeen years old…"

 

>I can see the teacher's disappointment all over her face. I wasn't looking forward to this to be honest, it's gonna end up with me moving away again, so i just wanted to get this over with so i could go to some community college in two years and live in one place for more than a year without moving away and actually settling down, not living like some kind of disgustingly glorified gypsy

 

>I didn't even look at my classmates to be honest, i just sat down at the end of a row and pulled out my notebook

 

>Through the day, i could notice curious glances at me but i didn't pay much attention

 

>First lunch period, math class, physics and the day was over. Uneventful. The rest of the week was also uneventful, went on autopilot the whole time, nobody ever approached me. I didn't mind it, really. It's finally weekend so i get to do all that stupid shit i actually enjoy doing all day long. Browsing on the internet and playing videogames. How fucking cliche.

 

>Monday

 

>Right when the bell rings, first lunch period

 

>As I'm getting ready, taking my sandwich and storing my backpack inside my locker, somebody approaches

 

>"Excuse me", that's a sweet voice

 

>I turn around, let's see what's the matter with this broad

 

>I'm fucking speechless. Take my fucking breath away

 

>A pure and fair maiden is standing in front of me. A little taller than i am, she's hugging a pink book and i can see some breasts squeezed behind. Silky blond hair, cute bangs and carefully braided with flowery hairpins and all, she also has two shimmering butterfly wings on her back. Beautiful purple eyes are looking at me, along with the face of something outta some Fairy tale. Quite literally, because she's a Fucking fairy, but fuckhuge, for a Fairy that is.

 

>Yeah, I'm completely taken back, don't know for how long i've been gawking, and now that i've stared long enough she kinda reminds me of somebody, but i couldn't quite place her

 

>"Are you okay?" She asks with a little concern

 

>Try my hardest not to spill 'em. I quickly regain my composure with that monotonous tone "Yeah, what is it?"

 

>She smiles with those pink, beautiful lips. "I have noticed that since last week, you have been quite lonely… I am wondering if you would like to join the 11-C Class Committee!"

 

>"What's that have to do with me being alone?"

 

>"I… I thought that maybe you needed a little push to meet new people. The Class Committee has many duties, the most important one is voicing the concerns of all students in our section! So maybe you could join us and get to meet many people while you are with us. And as the Class' Representative, it is my responsibility to ensure that new students are able to integrate… M-Maybe we could even become friends too! And please forgive me is this does seem a little intrusive to you, a new student being dragged into all of this… But we are a little short on members this year and you seemed like you could have some company."

 

>And as you can guess, my answer was yes. I think that it was my dick doing all the thinking, never been fond of anything that required much responsibility. But you can't just say no to a girl like this. Or so i thought…

 

>"Excellent!" She exclaims with a smile, "I am Nuala by the way, sorry for not introducing myself properly. It is nice to meet you!", there she goes with that smile again, hnggggggg

 

>"I'm Anon Kovac, nice to meet ya"

 

>"See you after classes are over, last floor and last door to the right!". She walks away, apparently only smaller Demihumans can fly around.

 

>I sit on a nearby bench, chomping on my sandwich, moist and delicious. "What the fuck have i gotten myself into…" I grunted, already regretting my decision.

 

>And before i could even notice, my last class ends

 

>It's past 2pm

 

>"I wanna go home…"

 

>"Fuck this, i'm gonna go home"

 

>And there she is, Nuala. Waving and smiling at me as she exits the classroom. She looks cute in that uniform and that overly long skirt.

 

>Have you ever lost consensus in your body? Because that's what happened to me, as if there were two different Anons fighting each other for control. And the one that said 'Go with the cute chick' won.

 

>"Fuck this, I'm gonna go to the President's Committee Club thing something whatever"

 

>Fourth floor, seems to be the last one. Last door to the right. '11-C Class Committee' written above the doorframe. This is it, pal.

 

>Open the door

 

>It's just 3 people inside, thank goodness i was expecting it to be a little more packed.

 

>Nuala, some dorky-looking Tanuki with curly hair and a guy that looks like a gypsy but strangely well kept and groomed

 

>Yeah this is gonna be fun…

 

>Nuala excitedly comes flying towards me "Welcome to the 11-C Class Committee, Mr. Anon!" hnggggg

 

>Keep your cool. "Ey", that's all i could mutter.

 

>"But do come in, i will introduce you to our esteemed members!" She literally drags me inside.

 

>"This is Hannah Goldenleaf, our Treasurer", i did my best to contain my laughter. Stereotypes are there for a reason.

 

>"This is Boro, our… W-Well you could say he is our 'Human Resources', secretary among other useful things".

 

>Is that fucking nail polish on the gypsy dude? The fuck… Boro's nails were strangely shiny, along with his well-groomed hair. I'm regretting this, again.

 

>"Mr. Anon?" Nuala asks, seems that i kinda spaced out again. "And I, Nuala Mistdew, The Class' Representative and President!"

 

>Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait

 

>Mistdew? That's it, Mistdew. Like that Fairy politician… The only Demihuman involved in the politics of my country, ever since they banned Tanukis from taking positions of power.

 

>Ela Mistdew, I have no idea what she does, but i've heard her name, several times. That's enough to make her a big fish around here, i think she has something to do with the Extra Species something something

 

>And oh boy, you don't know what it means to be a politician here. To have power. Absurd amounts of it. And to abuse said absurd amount of power.

 

>This is it, one wrong move and I'm thrown into the Matango pit, quite literally. Maybe disappear one night to never be seen again just because i managed to piss her off. Thrown into that horrible totally-real prison camp where mushroom people do nasty things to you.

 

>These guys are fucking bold, I'll give them that.

 

>"Mistdew as in Ela Mistdew?" I look at her with a little nervousness.

 

>"Yes! Ela Mistdew is my Mother, i am so proud of her…"

 

>Yep, that's it. Gotta tread carefully around this minefield.

 

>"Mr. Anon?" Looks like i spaced out again, she's looking at me, her head tilted and a worried frown. "Mr. Anon you did not introduce yourself…"

 

>"Is this necessary? We're all in the same section and you all saw my introduction last week."

 

>"But of course it is necessary!"

 

>I sigh in defeat "I'm Anon Kovac."

 

>"You could use a little more cheer!" She says with yet another smile, placing her hands on her hips.

 

>And so, some weeks have passed. Strangely enough Boro and i became fast friends. The guy's a huge metro-sexual faggot womanizer, a strange combination. Having week-long affairs with girls all over school, both younger and older, it didn't matter to him. But he's a total brother and even tried to hook me up with some of the bottom-feeder girls.

 

>Hannah not so much, she's the quiet type and prefers to do all the accounting for the PE equipment and all that stupid shit Tanukis like doing. She takes her job VERY seriously, kinda sad because she won't be able to infiltrate our government when she's older! HA

 

>And Nuala, shit man, she's like a fucking Princess. Exceedingly well-bred speech and manners. Calls me 'Mr.' all the time even when we're the same age. But yeah, gotta keep her at arms length, don't want the secret police to take me away some day, because that happened before in my family. Good ol' Uncle Grigor, hope he's alright wherever he is.

 

>But yeah, we sort of became friends. Sort of. Because i kind of kept her a little away, you know, can never be too sure.

 

>She's also a fucking prude and really damn naive and innocent. There's like an aura of purity surrounding her.

 

>Guess that's how Fairies are, ain't they?

 

>And one day…

 

>She asked me to sign a huge stack of papers, along with a blank stack of papers i was supposed to deliver at the Principal's office, and i was somehow compelled to do it by my higher sense of duty. Pfft yeah, duty. You can't say no to that smile.

 

>So, we're going downstairs from the Committee room and I'm carrying that huge stack of processed dead trees

 

>"Mr. Anon, are you sure you do not need help? I do not think it is safe for you to go downstairs if you cannot see properly"

 

>Yep, couldn't see shit, but being the idiot that i was… "I'm fine, I'm fi—-"

 

>I tripped and rolled down. Banged my head several times, think i heard a few things break along the way.

 

>Papers flying around

 

>When i open my eyes…

 

>I'm atop of her, i didn't crush her or anything, thankfully

 

>My crotch lined with hers

 

>My face was also in a quite delicate place

 

>Right in front of hers

 

>And our lips touched…

 

>I went unconscious for a moment, so my tongue kinda managed to get inside her mouth.

 

>It was a kiss… One that should've never happened

 

>Or rather i didn't want to, now i defiled Mrs. govt big fish's pure daughter

 

>Her eyes wide open, and her face profusely blushing

 

>And then i notice my hands… On her tits, squishing.

 

>Yep, the cherry on top

 

>This shit only happens in stupid movies from Zipangu

 

>I'm fucking dead, this is it, this is where Anon Kovac 'disappeared', to never be seen again.

 

>I can feel her heart racing, her warm breath and her mouth is kinda sweet tasting.

 

>And like a scared Cockatiel i immediately stood up

 

>"Sh-Sh-Shshsh.Shit sorry!" I'm about to lose it.

 

>She's fucking petrified, but doesn't seem hurt

 

>So i feel something warm on my neck and my vision's kinda blurry

 

>Yep, that's blood.

 

>I tumble around a little bit and everything went black afterwards

 

>Wake up

 

>Unfamiliar ceiling

 

>It's a hospital room

 

>Shitty light green walls and tiles… Looks run-down… No windows.

 

>"This is it, they sent me to the Matango pit, didn't they? I must be at their medical facility"

 

>"The fucking Mushroom Gulag, the stuff of legends…"

 

>"M-Maybe… Maybe I'll find Uncle Grigor here…"

 

>"No my soldier" That voice… "You're not at the Matango pit, this is the Army's Hospital. It's free for us so i brought you here!". That's Papa, I'm so glad they didn't send me to a fucking prison camp for accidentally molesting some big fish's daughter…

 

>Seems that Papa noticed too because he began to cackle

 

>"And don't be stupid son, prison camps don't have medical facilities." He does raise a valid point…

 

>"So, I'm gonna live? Any government officials looking for me?"

 

>He cackles again "Of course you will, you're a Kovac! Your Grandpa didn't survive the first contact war as a virgin so you could be a pussy!" Indeed, surviving situations with incredible odds against was a Kovac trait after all. "You got a sprained ankle, dislocated shoulder and some contusions in your head and that's about it, you should be fine in like two days tops, don't worry sonny."

 

>He then gets closer and puts a solemn face "Now tell me what's this about you getting sent into the Matango pit and government officials looking for you?"

 

>And i fucking spilled it

 

>"I uh… Crashed into a girl on my way down that set of stairs, who happens to be the daughter of a big fish."

 

>He shrugs "Well, if they wanted you dead, you'd be dead already, so…" It's surprising to see how his acceptance towards a grim fate is… "So yeah, no officials have visited. It's safe to assume you're safe."

 

>"Did anyone else come visit?" I inquired, maybe my friends have come while i was unconscious.

 

>"Aside from your Mother and i, yes. A Raccoon Yid and a Gypsy, he kinda looked like a homo… At least you're making friends this time."

 

>I was a little disappointed that Nuala hadn't come… Maybe she was busy or something.

 

>We chatted for a while, i've been here since yesterday but just woke up from the contusions.

 

>He had to leave for some reunion with the army, he's a consultant or some shit. My Mother left earlier because she had to do some paperwork or something. So i spent the rest of the day alone, watching tv and eating disgusting hospital food.

 

>The next day, i get another visit. Around the afternoon.

 

>"POLITBURO! MR. KOVAC YOU'RE COMING WITH US FOR TREASON!" Shouts a deep voice from behind the door

 

>It's fucking Boro, he almost gave me a heart attack. He's laughing so much it looks like he's gonna leak.

 

>We chat for a while, he had brought me one of those cheesy 'Get well soon' balloons

 

>There's a question that's eating me inside out… And i need to ask him. "Hey, so, how's Nuala? She hurt or something?"

 

>He raises a brow and looks at me with a smug face "Physically? No. But she does seem a lil' bothered though."

 

>He cackles and slaps me in the shoulder, my good shoulder, he's not a dick. "Dunno if she's pissed at you, asked her to tag along but she didn't wanna."

 

>Then, he begins to wiggle his eyebrows "And she also blushed when i mentioned your name! Oh man i didn't know you were into those kinda girls!"

 

>He chortles "Bet her sweet ass you're gonna have to teach her 'bout dating and how reproduction works. She's innocent like that… Known her since 4th grade. She missed ALL the sex-ed classes under special permissions or some shit. It is THAT bad." He's like a parrot now, laughing like an idiot.

 

>"Ey, ey don't rush into shit. I'm just asking if she's alright, kinda landed… Uh… Atop of her."

 

>"Landed? Pffftttt, she rushed to catch you, dude! But your heavy ass and the momentum made her delicate frame succumb into the floor! I was right there when it happened, you didn't see me though. Had to come back to the Committee room to get some shit i left in there…"

 

>Then he nudges me "And both of ya made quite the scene! That was a sloppy kiss, six outta ten. Perfect lining and groping, maybe it raises to a solid seven outta ten. Don't worry, nobody knows 'bout that shit excepting Nuala and yours truly! Ain't gonna snitch on you… Maybe."

 

>Yep, fucking gypsy's now gonna blackmail me or something… I've seen it.

 

>So we're hanging out, talking about school and personal matters when there's another knock on the door.

 

>Yeah, bet you have an idea who it was…

 

>Yep, tall, slender physique, nice set of tits and the face of a doll. Ridiculous magical wings. That's Nuala alright.

 

>No idea why i was disappointed yesterday, though. Kinda wanted to keep her away, can never be too sure when it comes to people who have family in high places.

 

>She gingerly comes inside, eyes darting all over the place.

 

>Seriously, she won't even look at me.

 

>Welp, guess it's understandable…

 

>"H-H-Hi M-Mr. Anon…" She mutters, averting her gaze away from me.

 

>"Well may ya get better, Kovac. Gotta head back to the trailer camp, i have accordion lessons in an hour and Baba wants me to play on the metro to make some extra money!", Boro abruptly stands up, smirk on his face. Motherfucker don't bail out! "See ya tomorrow, Nuala!"

 

>BAM! And the dirt is gone.

 

>Nuala stands there, motionless and looking away from me

 

>"Hey so… I-I'm sorry about… You know. Boro said you tried to catch me, so, um… Thanks" Silky smooth!

 

>She turns to my face in a strange robot-like motion

 

>Locks eyes with me in a sort of poker face

 

>Breathing heavily and erratically

 

>"Ey Nuala, you alright?"

 

>I can actually hear her breathing, she's also shaking a little bit, still looking directly into my eyes

 

>She gets gradually closer

 

>And closer… Those purple otherworldly eyes.

 

>Yeah this is awkward, she's right on my face now

 

>Shaking and… Is she fucking sniffing?

 

>I snap my fingers a few times "Nuala, what the fuck?"

 

>She seems to snap out of it "Y-Y-You smell N-Nice, Mr. Anon…"

 

>She quickly stands upright, sticks both of her arms out holding a little pink package

 

>"I-I-I made th-these for you, Mr. Anon. I hope you enjoy them…"

 

>Ugh… This is so fucking suspicious, the kinda shit the old secret police that is totally not disbanded used to do… STILL DOES, THERE'S PROOF. Bet these shits are spiked with something. Maybe she wants to do the job of taking me out by herself, ain't gonna give her that pleasure.

 

>"Hey, thanks! I'll save these up for later!"

 

>She stands there, silently staring at me, expectantly. Dammit.

 

>Can't do anything else but to unwrap whatever it is she 'made' for me. Maybe it's a fucking bomb, who knows?

 

>I take a deep breath and embrace for the worst as i unwrap the pink paper…

 

>Then i take a good look at Nuala… She has a weird expression on her face, like a crooked smile. Holding both of her hands to the front making some sort of V shape with her arms… Squishing her breasts in between. She's also squirming and shuffling her feet. Her wings are fluttering too. Does she wanna pee or something?

 

>"If you wanna *ahem* 'GO', there's a bathroom down the hallway" No way i was gonna let her into my room's bathroom. She could plant something in there.

 

>She jitters and looks at me nervously. "I-I-I am sorry, Mr. A-Anon. I have some matters to attend to back i-in school, y-yes, school! P-Please get well soon and enjoy your gift!"

 

>After this, she storms out of the room, leaving a trail of… Golden sparkles or some weird Fairy shit behind her.

 

>Covered my nose just in case.

 

>Weird shit, alright. Not gonna give the pleasure to anyone to easily take down a Kovac just like that.

 

>I rustle the little box, sounds like something loose inside. Definitively not a bomb.

 

>Inside are cookies… Round with pink and purple sparkles atop.

 

>Oldest trick in the book. Probably spiked. Goddamn ruling party politicians.

 

>They look delicious, though…

 

>So i formulate a plan, because I'm fucking bored of the bland shit they give me.

 

>Call in a Nurse for lunch, ask her if i can eat the cookies because I'm all fucked up…

 

>Offer her one. If she's not dead in an hour, it's safe to eat.

 

>Nurse comes, brings my shitty lunch. Ask if I'm allowed to eat those, says yes.

 

>Offer the Young Lady a cookie, she gladly accepts and eats it.

 

>Apparently they're delicious. Probably a mole, but she ate the whole cookie. I saw her swallow too.

 

>This is it, check my shitty, bland meal, when I'm sure it's safe to eat i dig in. An hour passes… Then another half hour just to be safe.

 

>Call in Nurse again, she's still alive. So i guess it's safe to eat. She takes out my empty platter.

 

>Proceed to eat the cookies… With caution.

 

>They actually taste really good. Hope they don't have laxatives.

 

>Eat the whole thing… Way better than the shitty baby grub i got.

 

>Mom & Dad visit afterwards and stay till night…

 

>And my day was over, ready for bed. I was supposed to be released tomorrow.

 

>Before falling asleep, i come to a sudden realization.

 

>I haven't taken a shower in three days. Didn't shower the day i fell and i couldn't possibly shower afterwards due to the sling i have to keep my hurt shoulder in place. I must smell like homeless gypsy.

 

>Eh, Nuala must've said i smelled good out of nervousness or something.

 

>At least I'm still alive. My head hurts a bit, but it's from the contusion.

 

>Aaand i fall asleep shortly afterwards.

 

>The next day I'm released from my stay at that one luxurious Army Hotel

 

>Finally no more bland, tasteless baby grub of dubious, unknown contents

 

>The last few days have been pretty normal at school

 

>Hanging out with Boro. He invited me to a wedding, his two cousins are getting married, that is a marriage between cousins… Disgusting Gypsies. I politely declined with extreme prejudice, don't wanna have my wallet stolen or getting forcibly hooked up with one of his many, many cousins and extended family.

 

>Nuala's been acting as she always does, diligently doing her homework during recess, studying hard and getting our classmates to voice their concerns. I've noticed she gets a little unnerved when I'm around, but i guess that's understandable. I seriously hoped she wouldn't send the Secret Police on me. It still exists, just so all of you know. There's evidence.

 

>And Hannah, the Tanuki… Who the fuck cares about Hannah? She's always accounting money that doesn't belong to her. All the time. She doesn't even hang out with anybody, kinda reminds me of myself some time ago… That's life, anyways. I'm sure she'll get over it some day when she's 40 and unmarried.

 

>And so, one day, i think it was a Wednesday, both of my parents call me for a council of war…

 

>An emergency one… This only meant one thing…

 

>We're moving away again.

 

>More specifically, THEY are.

 

>Yep, they're moving to the opposite end of my country, Papa got a contract, better paying, on another Military base. The man loves his job.

 

>And he also loves his family, so both him and Mama decided to rent me a small apartment and send me money, monthly.

 

>They decided to do this after i explicitly told them i wasn't gonna move away anymore. That i hated being a glorified Gypsy, that i didn't wanna live an Army life after i graduated and i just wanted to be a normal, boring guy. Another one from the pile.

 

>The catch? I had to finish School and graduate, that was it…

 

>Independence… Sort of. A dream many people of almost legal age have. To live alone, to walk around your own turf in nothing but boxers without being nagged.

 

>My old folks seemed to respect my decision, so they sold our house and hooked me up on that nice three bedroom, two bathroom apartment. The best part? It's not a fucking commieblock.

 

>I was excited to say the least. Some days have passed, i moved away to my new place, it's kinda nearby.

 

>And after a really damn sappy farewell, my parents left. Yep, i was completely prepared to live alone.

 

>Canned beans, condensed milk, MRE, Grandpa's old Battle Carbine, endless boxes of 7.62×39mm. My own fucking barracks. I didn't wanna live a military life, but i loved all the 'mystique' that was behind it.

 

>It's a kinda thing my people have… Like a primal call. Best part of it was that Papa gave me Grandpa's old gun, and i had a full permit to own it.

 

>Anyways, some days have passed… When i get another kind of call. A wake-up call.

 

>Checking on my locker one day, was gonna store some text books i really didn't use and i found something peculiar inside said locker.

 

>A letter. 'Mr. Anon Kovac' written on it.

 

>Who the fuck sends letters?

 

>Hastily opening it, inside is… A photography.

 

>Of myself, from a distance. Entering the lobby of my apartment building…

 

>Behind said picture, 'Hello'. Written in pencil… They're onto me.

 

>They're fucking onto me.

 

>I was frightened to say the least. Somebody's watching me.

 

>I keep it secret on the meantime.

 

>Now, i might've been a little wee bit paranoid before. But now… Now my life depended on it.

 

>And somebody was watching me, i could tell. Even when i hanged out with Boro, couldn't stop looking around, below and above.

 

>Began to see shadows lurking around.

 

>Even Hannah was concerned about my state, asked me if i was alright. "Of course i am, there's nothing wrong! Nobody's following me around or anything!"

 

>Strangely enough Nuala didn't notice, all was good with her, smiling and waving at me every time we bumped into eachother in the hallways, the cafeteria, the back of the gym where i used to take naps sometimes, even the bathroom one day, no idea how she accidentally got inside the male bathroom, but she was really ashamed of it.

 

>Bet it was their parents who sent whoever was watching me, Nuala seemed oblivious about it. Fucking evil politicians, it was an accident!

 

>And the letters got gradually worse and worse.

 

>In my locker again, another picture, this time of me getting inside my apartment. 'Nice apartment', written in pencil.

 

>In my mailbox… A picture of me undressing. 'I see you', written on the back.

 

>In my backpack, a picture of me eating lunch with Boro. 'He is a nice guy, is he not?'.

 

>Slid below my apartment's door, another picture of me, this time in the Committee room with Boro and Hannah, don't remember what we were discussing that day. 'So much responsibility and diligence for a young man'.

 

>Inside my chem textbook… A picture of me sleeping in bed… 'Sweet dreams'.

 

>After that one i couldn't sleep at all. I was a fucking mess. This is how they got people to break. Worse enough i couldn't tell the Police because they wouldn't do anything about it, that's how it was… How it's always been.

 

>Couldn't tell my parents either because the codes we use for emergencies are only written, as radio and telephone lines get easily compromised. I could try, but i didn't wanna give them trouble.

 

>I was alone. With somebody spying on me. I had to tell someone. So i decided to tell Boro about it, the only person i trusted enough…

 

>So when we're done with school, i invite Boro to my apartment. And of course making it clear that he wasn't allowed to steal anything from me, lest i'd make his little sister cry and steal her tears.

 

>We all know how powerful Gypsy tears are, I'd be able to easily take revenge on his whole family if he ever did such a thing.

 

>Besides, he had shown me the abandoned storehouse where his brothers hanged out in and stashed all the crap they robbed.

 

>"So… I called you here because i have a problem. They're onto me." I tell him with a solemn tone.

 

>"Who?" He inquires with a raised brow.

 

>"You know, the Secret Police."

 

>He begins to cackle like a madman "Bratan, are you fucking serious?!" He gasps for air a few times. "Dude, they've been gone for more than thirty years along with the communist party and the socialist one and the anarchist one and all their anarcho-whatever variants! You're a fucking paranoid…"

 

>I take out that bunch of pictures each with it's respective envelope. "Open 'em. Do it. Go ahead."

 

>He does it, each and one of them, thoroughly checking every picture. "Alright, alright, this is fucking creepy, bratan… But…"

 

>He then smugly grins "Have you checked writing? Ya know, that style and all…"

 

>"What's that have to do with anything? It's the Secret Police, you cunt!"

 

>Boro chuckles "Yeah right! Of course, now tell me the one about the Kikimora slob."

 

>After arguing for a while and seeing it went nowhere, i decided to crash on the couch and watch stupid western cartoons. I kept an eye on Boro but he didn't try to steal anything, he just went to the fridge and snatched two bottles of Kvass.

 

>Handed one to me.

 

>Sat down… "Kovac have you talked to Nuala?"

 

>"About what?"

 

>"Oh well, dunno…" Boro rolls his eyes.

 

>"Does this have to do with the 'accident'?"

 

>"Most certainly…"

 

>"So you want me to beg for forgiveness? I already apologized, bratan."

 

>He sighs "It's not that"

 

>"Then what is it? You want me to tell her to not send their parent's cronies after me?" I inquire.

 

>Boro rubs his temples "And I'm supposed to be the dumb inbred… Connect the fucking dots, how many times have you bumped into her?"

 

>I think for a moment "Like ten or eleven times… … … … Every day."

 

>"U-huh, so?"

 

>"So…" I come to a sudden realization "She's spying on me! Holy shit man! She's doing it on her own, must be some kind of agent in training… I'm fucked dude."

 

>"At least you got the first part right… Know what? Fuck this. You're on your own, if you can't figure it out, i might as well leave you to your own stupidity."

 

>"So your true Gypsy nature shows after all… Treason" I narrow my eyes.

 

>"Oh you wish it was treason… It's actually something far, FAR worse than that!" He chuckles. "Ya know, i actually had one of those following me once, but kinda got put off by the whole filthy Gypsy camp place i live in. Thankfully"

 

>Then, Boro finishes "Let's just forget about all of this and enjoy the fat cat and the thin, choleric dog doing stupid shit on tv… It's far more entertaining than your suffering."

 

>Boro knows something, definitively… Maybe it's Mystical Gypsy knowledge, i don't know, they have Tarot readers and other weird witchery. But one thing is for sure, he doesn't want to put himself in danger. I think that's reasonable.

 

>We hang out until sunset, he then leaves, chuckling "Good luck, bratan. You're gonna need it!"

 

>I check out my whole apartment for anything missing. Sneaky Gypsies. Thankfully he didn't steal a thing.

 

>23:00 hours. Not the usual time i go to bed, but I'm really tired.

 

>Time for bed.

 

>And time for one of my monologues… I like to do that, talk to myself when I'm alone.

 

>"I think solitude is taking it's toll on me… Maybe i should've moved away with my parents…"

 

>"Nah I'm fine.", dismissive hand motions.

 

>"I actually kinda enjoy it!"

 

>"I mean, I'm walking around in my underpants and nobody's bothering me!", i exclaim with a chuckle.

 

>After a long yawn, i decide to actually go to bed. I'm fucking drowsy and it's been a long ass day.

 

>"Yep, time to change the guard… To nobody."

 

>"Goodnight tv…"

 

>"Goodnight pc…"

 

>"Goodnight fridge…"

 

>"Good night SKS…" I give Grandpa's old Carbine a smooch.

 

>"Goodnight Nuala…"

 

>"Goodnight Mr. Anon!" She smiles and waves back at me, standing  below the bathroom's doorframe

 

>I dive into bed, get under my covers and let out another long yawn.

 

>[Bloodshot eyes wide open] -SFX: Broken glasses.

 

>"'GOODNIGHT NUALA?! HOLD THE FUCK UP!'" I spring out of bed and grab the old Battle Carbine.

 

>[Heavy breathing]

 

>"What the fuck is this?!"

 

>I thoroughly search around my whole apartment for any signs of Nuala.

 

>It's empty…

 

>Really all empty, not even any cockroaches sneaking around.

 

>All windows closed.

 

>Door's closed.

 

>Nothing in the closet.

 

>"Must've been my imagination… I'm actually really fucking tired."

 

>Dive back into bed and actually get some sleep…

 

>Must be 3 am now, gotta peepeee. Do my business and go get a glass of water.

 

>So i groggily walk up to the kitchen, literally half asleep. Bumped a few times.

 

>"Boy, I'm so thirsty…" I exclaim along the way with a voice only a drunkard would understand.

 

>Nuala hands me a glass of water. "Thanks Nuala…" I mutter.

 

>"Oh, do not mention it Mr. Anon!" She replies.

 

>Drink the water, put down the glass in my desk. Dive back to bed, get comfy…

 

>[Bloodshot eyes wide open, again] -SFX: Broken glasses. Again.

 

>"Sranje! Sranjesranjesranjesranje kurva pizduuuuu!"

 

[Translator's note: Eastern swearword gibberish]

 

>I fucking lost it. My shit, never to be found again.

 

>Literally teleport out of bed and grab my raifu

 

>Trembling and scared shitless

 

>[Heavy breathing]

 

>"Come the fuck out! Now!"

 

>Nothing.

 

>Thoroughly check my whole fucking apartment, every corner, nook and cranny.

 

>Fucking nothing.

 

>I must be going crazy…

 

>I'm seeing things.

 

>This ain't happening.

 

>I slump down on the floor, rifle in hand. Maintain trigger discipline.

 

>It's my time to guard, to be the watchman for the rest of the night.

 

>I didn't sleep, my eyes darted left and right, up and down.

 

>Nothing, yet i remained vigilant.

 

>Morning finally came…

 

>Get ready for school, gotta be diligent.

 

>First class: Math.

 

>Can barely keep my eyes open.

 

>Couldn't bring my Carbine for obvious reasons… Kinda need a gun to keep myself from harm

 

>Sat in a far corner of the classroom, no windows in front or behind me. Not gonna let some sniper take me down.

 

>I'm also rather close to the door, which is a double-edged sword.

 

>Still, if anyone comes for me, i can use Jana as a meat shield. She's a Holstaur and her tits are rather humongous and she's kind of tall too. She's right in front of me for easy access. Hope those funbags can stop a 9×18mm from a Makarovny & cheese.

 

>Pffftt! Of course they can, it's just 9mm!

 

>If not, i've got this mailman's cap in my bag. Anyone suspicious comes, i can throw it to him/her, call it the mailman and let all those Kobolds in class take care of my assailant.

 

>And of course if everything else fails i can just jump outta the window, I'm on the ground floor.

 

>As for the getaway? I have no idea. There's a metro station nearby and several bus stops, but there's bound to be several agents on guard.

 

>My best bet would be stealing a car from the teacher's parking lot. Plenty of those shitty, old models that you can turn on by just crossing a few wires.

 

>I noticed Nuala's been throwing a few glances at me from time to time. Quickly averting her gaze whenever i look at her.

 

>A little unnerving considering everything.

 

>She really fucking cute, though. Were i under a different situation, i totally would've gone for that.

 

>Haven't had a girlfriend in never ever.

 

>Yep, always been kinda lonely.

 

>But imagine if i did so right now

 

>Oh boy, all the press coverage. It'd be as if a princess went out with some lowly tramp.

 

>And of course, the assassination attempts, kidnappings, bribery and…

 

>The Matango pit. The fabled Mushroom Gulag.

 

>Gotta stay away from all of that. She's too pure for me anyways. And too much trouble.

 

>Day went on as normal

 

>Always on watch.

 

>Nuala waved at me a few times.

 

>Before i could even notice, it was all over.

 

>14:00 hours.

 

>Hannah informs me of a meeting today, in the Council room.

 

>Something about an upcoming celebration for the Liberation Day.

 

>Didn't really pay too much attention, too fucking drowsy…

 

>Hannah was pretty upset, though. Bet she's a filthy commie in disguise.

 

>And i somehow fell asleep.

 

>Don't know for how long.

 

>Mmmh yes, somebody's stroking my hair… Just like how Mama did when i was little.

 

>Relaxing.

 

>I don't remember bringing a pillow, whatever I'm lying on is kinda soft and pillowy.

 

>Open my eyes.

 

>Sunset already… I'm still at the Committee room.

 

>Wait why the fuck am i lying down across the big table?

 

>With my left hand, i reach to the back of my head to check what the fuck am i resting my head on.

 

>Grab.

 

>Squishy squish.

 

>A GOOD final squish just to be sure.

 

>"This ain't a pillow…" I mumble.

 

>Hear a low moan, "M-M-Mr. A-Anon…"

 

>Turn my head, look up.

 

>A Nuala with a really sultry look and a profuse blush is looking down at me.

 

>She's breathing heavily.

 

>I grabbed some Titania asscheeks.

 

>Lying on her lap.

 

>I swear i can see two little hearts on her pupils.

 

>Fugg :–DD

 

>Strangely enough i didn't tell anybody about yesterday

 

>Hell, i wasn't even sure what i saw was real…

 

>But this.

 

>I'm pretty sure this is fucking real.

 

>As real as Boro's closeted homosexuality, bet he's always chasing girls and wooing his cousins as a cover-up

 

>"M-Mr. Anon?", Shit i spaced out again.

 

>[Heavy Fairy breathing]

 

>"M-Mr. Anon… Y-You make me feel so many things i cannot describe."

 

>wew bratan

 

>Jump from her lap and subsequently the table.

 

>Don't know how, but i did it. With a flip.

 

>I'm pretty fucking nervous right now, all the implications.

 

>Nuala just floats down from the table, little golden sparkly powdery things coming from her wings

 

>She's doing that weird thing again, holding both of her hands to the front, making that V shape with her arms and looking as if she wanted to pee or something.

 

>"Oh, Mr. Anon, there are so many things i wanted to discuss with you…"

 

>That blush, that sultry look.

 

>That low tone, that innocent voice.

 

>"E-Ever since that day…"

 

>Gulp…

 

>"When our bodies connected…"

 

>Even bigger gulp…

 

>She's slowly walking closer to me. Instinctively walk backwards.

 

>"Every time i see you… There is this throbbing, warm sensation inside my body…"

 

>Outta gulps now.

 

>"I am not sure what it is…"

 

>And i finally reach the wall behind me.

 

>"Is this how real love feels? I love my parents very much… And my friends… But i have never felt like this before…"

 

>[Loud sweating]

 

>"As you may know, i come from a very sheltered upbringing… Please tell me, Mr. Anon… What is this i feel whenever i see you?"

 

>I have a feeling that it wasn't the Politburo who were looking spying on me and trying to break me down…

 

>"M-Mr. Anon, m-my…" Her face turns crimson red "M-My underwear gets damp whenever you are close to me… And it is not incontinence…"

 

>This is what that fucking Gypsy meant by 'connect the dots'…

 

>She cups her hands on my cheeks

 

>Her face is too close to mine… Too close for comfort

 

>She takes a really DEEP breath, is she fucking sniffing me?

 

>"Y-You smell so good Mr. Anon…"

 

>Alright this is fucking creepy.

 

>Nuala gets even closer…

 

>Licks my cheek

 

>She licks my fucking cheek

 

>Several times

 

>With a moan, she softly exclaims "Exquisite…"

 

>And that's how the great Spaghetti spilling of Chernogorod happened.

 

>Only one victim.

 

>Myself.

 

>Well shit, I'm royally fucked now.

 

>They can actually use this against me, so i gotta contain myself.

 

>I've seen it all now. All over the tabloids. 'Deranged of almost legal age man defiles minor. Fellow student and daughter of important political figure.'

 

>Yep, and they're gonna postpone the trial 'till I'm eighteen.

 

>She's gonna be eighteen too, but nothing a few bribes can't buy.

 

>And then the Matango pit. Eternal suffering.

 

>"Oh, Mr. Anon… Are you the one?"

 

>"I-I-I-I… uh, um. Y-You…" There's a knot in my throat.

 

>She sighs "The man who will make me his bride? The one i am destined to love eternally?"

 

>Open my mouth. Try to say words. Nothing comes out.

 

>"This is how love feels, is it not?"

 

>"I am intoxicated by your scent Mr. Anon…"

 

>"But i do not know what to do…"

 

>"W-Would you kindly show me?"

 

>"Please…" She whispers into my ear.

 

>Then begins to lick it.

 

>Ever had a fearboner? That's what i have right now.

 

>Thankfully she hasn't noticed.

 

>Or so i thought…

 

>Because she somehow catches a whiff in the air and looks down at the tent where my crotch is.

 

>"Mmmh, what is this? That scent of yours… It is quite more… 'Concentrated' down there. Could this be?"

 

>She slowly gets closer to it.

 

>I'm somehow unable to move…

 

>…

 

>…

 

>The door slams open.

 

>Nuala almost immediately stands upright. Looking as if nothing had happened

 

>A bewildered Boro is at the door.

 

>"Uh… Did i interrupt something?" He inquires with curiosity.

 

>"Nope! Nopenopenope. Come on in. Do whatever you gotta do bratan." I exclaim in nervousness.

 

>Nuala giggles and begins to walk away, waving as if nothing had happened "Goodbye, Mr. Anon. Please call me as soon as you can so we can finish our discussion.", She then turns around and smiles at me… And looks at Boro afterwards "Goodbye Boro."

 

>After she's gone, Boro approaches.

 

>"Dude you look pale, what the fuck happened?"

 

>"I understand what you meant by 'connect the dots' now…" I tell him with a solemn tone trying to hide the tent down my pants. The asshole begins to cackle.

 

>"Don't you fucking laugh, you peder, this is FAR more serious than being chased by the Secret Police!"

 

>"How so? It's just a girl who likes you!" He cleans a few tears off his cheeks.

 

>"Don't you get it? This is gonna be a fucking public affair now! The press is gonna fuck my family up, Papa's gonna lose his job and Mama's, no, my whole family's gonna be ostracized from society! All of that, combined with me actually getting sent into a prison camp for the rest of eternity! Just because i defiled the pure daughter of some big fish. No execution, just suffering until I'm a raisin and they finally decide to place a bullet in my temple."

 

>Boro lets out a throaty chuckle "Whatever you say, bratan. Her mother is actually quite a nice lady and her family's pretty simple and modest, hell they even live downtown in a modest house!"

 

>"Pfft, yeah right. That's just a facade, it's those who appear harmless the ones you actually have to carefully tread around"

 

>He rolls his eyes "Whatever Kovac. Just came back to take my lunchbox… I, uh… 'Borrowed' it from a cousin and i gotta give it back before she notices".

 

>He takes a tin lunchbox from one of the chairs, it has a picture of that old stop-motion cartoon hedgehog thing… Asshole must've stolen it from one of the kindergarten kids. Bet he's gonna sell it on the internet because that thing must be vintage or something.

 

>Boro then rushes out of the classroom, seemed to be in a hurry after all.

 

>Well there was nothing else for me to do in school that late, so i head back home…

 

>Tomorrow's finally Saturday, and I'll get to plan whatever contingencies i can take for my predicament.

 

>Came home

 

>Horribly tired, didn't even think about the events that had happened this afternoon.

 

>Fell asleep on my post.

 

>All night long.

 

>No idea if anyone broke into my apartment.

 

>Hugged and cuddled with SKS-chan while i slept.

 

>I swear i could hear the screams and laments from the lives Dedushka took with this Battle Carbine.

 

>Namely a bunch of overly-aggressive and sex-crazed Demihumans from the first contact war.

 

>The man was quite the sharpshooter…

 

>All while remaining a virgin in his 20's. He was saving himself for marriage.

 

>Yep, truly gruesome. Marriage.

 

>How could anyone trust someone so much to literally devote himself towards that person, for the rest of his life?

 

>The reason for that escaped my mind back then…

 

>Made me wonder how Mama and Papa managed to do so. To trust each other.

 

>Yeah i had trust issues among with a few other problems. Yet i 'trusted' a fucking Gypsy for some reason.

 

>Saturday.

 

>Must be noon, and i had just woken up.

 

>Check the fuck outta everything. Seems in order.

 

>Go to the hardware store and buy several locks

 

>Install them on my door, those easy-to-install ones that are like a sliding chain… And several others that allowed me to use padlocks. That should keep people from breaking in.

 

>Yep, that was my paranoia fit for the day.

 

>Dozed off for the rest of the afternoon

 

>19:00 hours.

 

>What's good on pay-per-view?

 

>Decide to watch that cool movie about those midget guys who have to throw some haunted piece of jewelry into an active volcano. That was the main plot, though.

 

>The whole fucking compilation of all the movies, crammed into an 8 hours-long marathon.

 >Oh boy, haven't watched that movie in YEARS

 

>Shit's really fucking old, but a classic

 

>A remake was released a few years back with real Elves, Dwarves, Orcs and other Demihumans, but it wasn't the same…

 

>Having a blast

 

>…

 

>…

 

>Fall asleep on the couch a little more than halfway through

 

>Actually awakened by the lack of screamsesses and voicesses not coming from the tv.

 

>Tv's off.

 

>Ruh-roh

 

>Try to stand up

 

>I'm fucking paralyzed, somehow.

 

>"Mr. Anon, you did not call neither yesterday nor today… I am very, very saddened."

 

>"And you have my number on your cellphone… You still do."

 

>Oh fuck me sideways. Not again.

 

>I think Nuala knows how to use magic, since my body was faintly glowing with a green hue

 

>That's when i noticed my security plan had a big flaw

 

>Titanias, and Fairies in general, are able to fly.

 

>I didn't board up my windows.

 

>Seriously, i actually thought she wasn't gonna try anything.

 

>I wasn't even sure if it really was her that night… I used to 'see' things that weren't quite there back when i was younger.

 

>"I also know you did not do any of your homework, as always…" Her voice gets gradually closer

 

>"I checked your notebooks!" Nuala cutely snickers.

 

>"Tsk tsk tsk, you can be such an irresponsible young man sometimes!" And closer…

 

>"That is why i decided to pay you a visit… Maybe we could study together and you could help me with some things i do not understand… Yet." Even closer…

 

>Nuala's floating above me, looking directly into my eyes

 

>"The subject for today will be…"

 

>I've got a bad feeling about this.

 

>She whispers, "Anatomy~…". Her innocent smile changes into a lewd, sultry face that only a Succubus could pull off. Also blushing profusely.

 

>"And 'Love'!"

 

>Yup, I'm going to jail. Forced labor camp, whatever.

 

>I'm actually pretty fucking nervous to say the least.

 

>I do have a few 'Problems', and all of this sort of made them appear again.

 

>Boy it's been a while.

 

>So, Nuala begins to undress. Taking off her cute pink summer dress.

 

>Sky-blue bra…

 

>Two decently-sized breasts are now freely hanging and swaying close to my face. Cute, pink nipples already stiff.

 

>Kinda throws her shoes off to the side in haste

 

>And i finally notice her sky-blue panties… They have a damp mark.

 

>"Is she a fucking nympho?" I wondered while trembling "I'm fucking done for…"

 

>That was nothing like the pure, innocent Fairy i met several weeks ago.

 

>Strangely enough she doesn't remove her panties.

 

>Instead she softly lands atop of me. She doesn't appear to weigh much.

 

>Remember what i said about roaming around my apartment only wearing my underwear?

 

>Well that's how i was right now, completed with my soldier inside his tent.

 

>She begins to do circle motions with her finger, on my chest

 

>Her soft and supple breasts pushing against my body

 

>With that same lewd face, she begins to talk

 

>"Mr. Anon… I never assisted any of the Anatomy or Sexual Education classes… And certain Biology classes i had to miss due to… My parents, for some reason, did not want me to attend those, which seemed very unusual to me but i paid no mind to it back then."

 

>"Oh, but you as a young man of about my age… You certainly assisted and passed all of those classes with superb grades, did you not?"

 

>She playfully giggles "Would you kindly show me this time, please?"

 

>Whispers to my ear "What it means to be tenderly loved… And how it is done!~"

 

>"You see, Mr. Anon, i have heard the girls talk about 'IT', but i have never got the courage to actually ask them about 'IT'… So sad. Until i met you…"

 

>"A-And how our bodies connected, be it by accident or not"

 

>"I have felt things i could not understand, all when thinking about that magical moment. It was destiny, was it not?"

 

>"Oh, but do not say a word!" She places her index finger over my mouth… As if i were able to mutter anything right now. "I know it was."

 

>"It was… No! IT IS love."

 

>"I love you, Mr. Anon."

 

>"It is love when you long to be with somebody, when you endlessly fawn over him… Craving for his affection, craving for…"

 

>She closes her eyes and takes a good sniff… And licks my cheek afterwards.

 

>"His scent, his essence… His flavor. You are intoxicating me with your bliss, Mr. Anon."

 

>"So please teach me how to love you… How to love a Human boy…"

 

>"I will release you from my spell if you promise to teach me!~" She winks.

 

>I Was diagnosed with several 'chemical imbalances' in my brain, or so to speak, several years back…

 

>Those were the source of my problems back then.

 

>Pumped up in drug to suppress them…

 

>Got worse when i moved out. Several times.

 

>And just when i finally thought it was over and even 'safely' stopped taking my pills, this crazy chick appeared.

 

>It was harmless at first and i didn't really worry. But at this very moment i realized they all came back.

 

>Ever since crashed into her. Got sent to the hospital.

 

>Nah, ever since i got invited into that stupid Class Committee

 

>Nuala interpreted my silence as acceptance.

 

>She begins to assault my mouth.

 

>Twirling her warm tongue around mine.

 

>Softly moaning, her breath tickling my patchy stubble

 

>Asociality, Paranoia, Schizophrenia, Social Anxiety.

 

>All those weird terms i heard from the Doctor, the one who handled the madmen.

 

>I didn't really understand what they were.

 

>Or rather, i didn't want to.

 

>They all came back to me.

 

>Maybe it was destiny as she said.

 

>I pass out shortly afterwards.

 

>Wake up

 

>A naked Nuala lies besides me. It was real after all

 

>Her arm circled around my chest, sorta clinging onto me

 

>Underpants still on

 

>Whew

 

>I obviously Cockatiel out and pussyblock myself again

 

>I couldn't, for the life of me, get caught with her

 

>Somehow managed to slip

 

>Nuala groans and tries to search for me in her sleep

 

>Slip a pillow right where i was

 

>Holds onto it with a smile "Mr. Anon…"

 

>Put some clothes on

 

>And with the best judgement a person with a psychotic break could have, i get the fuck out of my apartment

 

>Yep, psychotic break

 

>It's not a nice feeling, adrenaline rushes through your whole body, your senses peak. You begin to hear, see and even smell things that ain't quite there.

 

>Like those girly giggles and chuckles. And the shadows stalking me on every corner

 

>I probably wandered around for half a day, wary

 

>Eyes darting everywhere

 

>Didn't even grab my wallet on my way out

 

>The next few days were rough, i didn't want to go back to my apartment

 

>Eating in soup kitchens, sleeping in alleys with the homeless. One of them even offered me drugs, said 'I looked like i needed my fix real bad'.

 

>All of this while having a psychotic break, hear whistling, laughs, some resembled Nuala's, others were just distorted gibberish…

 

>And the shadows, that was the worst part of all of it.

 

>Imagine seeing a ghost, not once but several times an hour. In the corner of my eye, shadows that resembled Nuala and pitch-black silhouettes of men in uniform.

 

>Sometimes everything turned red, or the walls moved on their own, or the floor like an earthquake.

 

>I probably needed my fix after all, of assorted medicines

 

>Come to think of it, i was the last person that should own a fucking rifle.

 

>Guess my parents wanted me to be 'normal', as much as i could be.

 

>And one day, out of the blue i decide to head back to my apartment. Probably because it was Wednesday already, and it was time for my 'weekly report'. The day i call my parents for a debrief of my situation. Nuala was probably long gone by now.

 

>At this point i wasn't sure if i was running away from her or the supposed 'consequences' that being with her could bring me.

 

>Government mafias are a serious thing after all.

 

>Back home, fifty or so missed calls on my cellphone. Most from 'Nuala Mistdew' a few others from Boro.

 

>Measure all the three windows my apartment has. Get money and head to the hardware store.

 

>Finally board them up.

 

>Call my parents for that weekly report. Of course i didn't tell them about my recent 'break', everything was 'fine' and 'normal'. School was 'as boring as always'. I really didn't want them to worry about me. They left me alone because i needed 'independence' and my therapist decided i was sane enough, moving away again could do more harm to me.

 

>Nuala's been watching and following me around my apartment ever since i came back

 

>Reach my drawer for an 'emergency' medicine, the only one i kept around 'just in case'.

 

>Lie down on bed

 

>Nuala's still watching me from the other side of the room, always with a smile.

 

>Close my eyes and wait for it to kick in.

 

>She's gone.

 

>Slowly fall asleep. Haven't slept properly in some time. Tomorrow I'm going to school after all, already thinking how I'd avoid that crazy Fairy.

 

>First period, 7:20 hours.

 

>As always, I'm a little late for class.

 

>As i enter the classroom, a concerned Ms. Kott stops me, placing a paw on my shoulder

 

>"Where have you been, Anon? You missed class for three days and we haven't heard a word from you. Your friends said you didn't answer your phone either."

 

>All the voices coming from that cramped classroom stung like needles inside my ears combined with the glances a few of my classmates threw at me. That, along with Ms. Kott's inquisitive questions.

 

>I felt dizzy and nauseous. I wanted to get out.

 

>Fucking sensory overload. I find it kind of funny and sad that i was well aware of my mental condition, but i couldn't do anything about it, except from taking those emergency pills every now and then.

 

>That thin line between what was real and what wasn't, where the hallucinations ended and where the real world began. The distorted disembodied sounds. I knew it was all inside my mind, that it wasn't real, but it still put me off.

 

>Mustering all the strength i could gather and trying to calm myself down by clenching my fists, lest the contents of my stomach might come out, i mutter an answer. It came off more like a groan that a set of words. "I was sick."

 

>I look at her face, those two cat ears twitching, probably catching up on every conversation that took place in this classroom. Her green feline eyes deeply staring at my face. My baggy eyes, disheveled brown hair, patchy stubble. She gives me a condescending smile when she confirms that i might actually have been sick by the way i looked. Willing to look over the need for a medical permit or anything of that sort.

 

>And in a few ways, maybe i was sick. I still am.

 

>And as i make my way through the classroom, i can see a few concerned faces looking at me. Nuala seemed to be the worst one with a worried frown all over her face. Boro shot glances at me too.

 

>Even Hannah the, Tanuki and Jana, the ridiculously busty Holstaurus, were looking at me with concern. People i didn't even talk to… That much. Maybe a few exchanged greetings every now and again.

 

>What did they care so much about somebody that wasn't even related to them anyways?

 

>I let those thoughts slide off my mind as Ms. Kott continues her Math class.

 

>At least the classroom's silent now

 

>I take out my Nuala-themed notebook out of my bag, just to take a few quick notes. Maybe that'll clear my mind.

 

>Blink a few times and rub my eyes.

 

>My plain olive-green notebook goes back to normal.

 

>Before i could even notice, class was over. I didn't write anything down, spent the whole time blankly staring at the floor, thinking about nothing.

 

>A soft tap on my shoulder throws me off my trance, making me jump in place, legs crashing under my desk.

 

>As i turn around, the whole classroom's empty.

 

>Nuala's standing besides me, looking at me with concern.

 

>Alone in a room with that nymphomaniac Fairy, that made me a little nervous

 

>"Mr. Anon you have me trully worried. I called you so many times and yet you did not even answer once, went to your residence but you were not there…"

 

>Her normalcy when asking this is baffling. To come up to me just like that, after she sexually assaulted me. She's either oblivious to this whole situation or she's a really perverted and evil being.

 

>I frown and try to contain myself. Mumbling "I'm fine.", trying my hardest to not let out a creaky voice.

 

>"Oh, I am so glad you are well!" She hugs me, making me shudder and sending goosebumps all over my body. She indeed is oblivious to this whole situation. "I am still looking forward to our next lesson!~ You fell asleep on the last one…"

 

>Without saying another word and prying away from her grasp, i stand up and walk away. Didn't look back at her and i had no idea where she went afterwards. Not that i cared since i intended to keep her as far as i could.

 

>The walls and the floor begin to shudder. I down one of my magical pills and wait for its effects to kick in.

 

>Hanged out with Boro for the rest of the break afterwards. When he finally asked where i was, answered with a "An old sickness kicked back in. Needed some time alone.", he wasn't one to pry much on other people's businesses, maybe because of the shady and illegal nature of his disgusting family members.

 

>The rest of the day was uneventful, as so were the days that followed afterwards. Nuala jumping and bumping into me a few times, one time she followed me home but i slammed my apartment's door on her face. Several nights i could hear tapping on my windows and muffled sighs coming from the other side. But of course, i boarded them up, so i just ignored them.

 

>And so, several months had passed. It was actually the beginning of 12th grade, my last year in school.

 

>It felt as if my condition had worsened with every month that passed. I eventually stopped talking to everybody around me. Even Boro, the only person i could consider to be my 'friend'. The 'illusions' got gradually worse and it seemed that my magical all-cure pills weren't quite doing their job.

 

>Nuala of course, continued her stalking shenanigans, inviting me out all the time, calling to check on me, tackling me from behind with her hugs, sometimes surprising me on the hallways with little gifts. I of course outright and flatly ignored her.

 

>Strangely enough i wasn't sure anymore why i was actually keeping her at bay. Was it because i feared her parents would find out and send their supposed thugs onto me? Or was it because i was actually afraid of having a relationship with somebody?

 

>Maybe it was a combination of those two, as irrational as they might seem to be. I've never been a rational person myself, for obvious reasons.

 

>Sometimes i missed class more than two times a week and i sort of neglected every meeting the Class Committee made… It was a miracle how i barely managed to pass to 12th grade.

 

>I look back at those days with deep regret.

 

>Finally got to see my parents that summer, took a plane flight across the country to where they lived.

 

>And kind of shut off from the world, ignored every call from my classmates and spent that whole summer either holed up in my parents' house or spending time in the woods with Papa. Hunting and doing 'man things'.

 

>Sometimes he'd laugh at how i shot at 'nothing' and probably scared off the deers… Those nothings being exactly what you think they were. Things that weren't quite there. Hallucinations.

 

>Cute ones.

 

>I truly was the last person on earth that should be holding a firearm.

 

>And worse of it, not a single word about my 'condition' kicking back in. Strangely enough they didn't notice. Maybe because they were used to see me like this, always alone and silent. Jaded.

 

>Summer ends and i head back 'home' for school.

 

>Right before i started that new year, i requested for a section transfer. From 12-C to 12-Whatever. Got 12-A.

 

>Maybe that way i could shrug everyone off my back, specially a certain Titania someone.

 

>All of this was stupidly ironic, since looking back, all i desired was to remain in one place and build up social relationships. Retain friendships. Be 'normal'.

 

>But as my 'condition' worsened, my trust on those around me dwindled. Right before summer i had become a hermit of sorts.

 

>Anyways, a few days pass, turning into weeks. Surprisingly enough, people had stopped calling or texting me.

 

>Even Nuala, i haven't seen her since the beginning of summer vacations and she hasn't called me in almost a month. There's a strange feeling inside of me…

 

>One day, while I'm enjoying my lunch on that one isolated spot behind the gym, a slender figure walks towards me.

 

>Flat as a washboard but somehow had well-endowed hips and thighs from what her short skirt allowed me to see. Long, black kneesocks. The stuff that was permitted to wear by the school.

 

>She, however, had a small pair of purple wings coming out of her back, a long and slender tail ending with a spade. Cinnamon-colored skin.

 

>And as i look up, i see a delicate face that somehow appeared to be familiar… Long and wavy black hair and two horns pointing frontwards

 

>A succubus. She's not from my class… Probably someone from my former class that i somehow managed to miss or ignore.

 

>And as i get ready to send her off with extreme prejudice, she plonks down besides me, sitting with her legs crossed in a rather unfeminine manner.

 

>"What's up, ASSHOLE?". She 'greets' me with a frown. One hell of a greeting, making emphasis on the asshole part.

 

>"Good day to you too, do i know you?" I reply in bewilderment

 

>This response seemed to fuel her anger "Well, you'd know if you answered any calls or even looked at your text message inbox!"

 

>It's true i've been ignoring any messages and calls on my phone, except the ones from my parents.

 

>"I came here to be alone, so could you please leave me be? I don't really care what business you might have with me"

 

>The girl clenched her fist, shaking. Heavily breathing.

 

>She throws a slap across my face.

 

>"I'm Boro!" 'She' says with an angry tone

 

>That was a little surprising, but not something i didn't see coming.

 

>The guy indeed was too 'fruity'. After all, i had my suspicions of him trying to woo other girls was just a cover up

 

>The only thing that my mind allowed me to do was to let out a cackle, because he actually turned into an Alp after all.

 

>A mocking, loud cackle… I wasn't even mad that he slapped me

 

>"I knew it! I always knew that deep inside you were a fucking peder all along!"

 

>"So do i have to call you he or she now?! Do i have to ask what your pronouns are like in those stupid western countries?!" I ask between cackles.

 

>This, however, wasn't so funny for him, or her as she began to sob… Only to stop shortly afterwards with a deep breath

 

>"What happened to you?!" She asks with a little sadness in her voice. "You… You changed completely! I mean, you always appeared to be a little solitary and secretive… Even a tad paranoid. But this…" She locks eyes with me "What happened to you, bratan? I know i've known you for only almost a year, but your personality took an abrupt change so suddenly…"

 

>I stare at Boro in silence. I was greatly ashamed of my condition, so it wasn't something i usually divulged. I think the school staff didn't even know about it back then.

 

>"I loved you man, as a brother. I actually enjoyed hanging out with you and talking about stupid crap…"

 

>She sobs a bit but seems to regain her composure

 

>"You turned into such an asshole. As if you had completely forgotten that we existed." She frowns.

 

>"It's because of Nuala, isn't it? You stupid paranoid… I told you her family's harmless. I've known them since i was in 1st grade. They even let ME inside their house."

 

>Speaking of which, it seemed so unusual to not have seen her around since she enjoyed stalking me. Our break schedules almost matched, so i was bound to find her sooner or later, but she never appeared.

 

>It was a sort of strange relief i had, maybe she had forgotten completely about me, finally noticing her attempts to build a friendship with me were futile… And her advances. Maybe she actually gave up and moved on.

 

>"I see you're wondering about her… Why she hasn't shown up or stopped calling your phone." Boro furrows her brown even more "Yeah that's how ya look when you space out, pondering."

 

>"There's only so much a girl can do to make a guy like her, you know? Before she gets tired or gives up."

 

>"I actually thought you wouldn't be such an ass, but it seems that i was wrong. I guess it's sort of my fault too."

 

>She points at me accusingly "But you, you're a fucking monster, dude. To have somebody fawning over you, and you didn't even reject or accept her. You just gave her uncertainty, doubt. No clear answers."

 

>"There are limits to that, how much one can handle before breaking."

 

>"Yes, you fucking broke her. Her heart… No, her whole self."

 

>"You see, ever since she was little she had this 'thing', i can't really recall how it's called, but i guess it doesn't matter much to you anyways. Some personality disorder, made her obsess over things she liked, sometimes unhealthily. That's how she got all those near-perfect grades and still managed to be 'someone' socially speaking… Because she liked that, really enjoyed it. And of course there's a darker side to it, as with everything in life. Depression, emptiness… Even abandonment, sometimes she complained about 'feeling alone', even when she was surrounded by friends and acquaintances and two loving parents."

 

>So she does have something after all, i actually had my suspicions, but considering she wasn't Human i just thought that's was something her kind would normally do, since indeed, there are a few more 'assertive' and 'passionate' Monsterfolk this country didn't grant residence to, for the way they behaved. I figured out even the 'calmer' and 'tame' ones would be like that, passionate.

 

>"Do you know how many times she came to me for advice? Of course i told her that stalking was out of the question, asked me what you liked to do, topics for small talk… She even asked me to 'not get much involvement' because she actually wanted to conquer your heart on her own without somebody giving you little pushes towards the right direction. I feel guilty about being a fool and not telling you anything about it, i thought you'd at least say no to her…"

 

>"I bet you didn't even open any of the little gifts she bought or made you. You're disgusting."

 

>"And it actually got worse over summer. She even tried to break into your apartment once, hell, even i was tempted to."

 

>Boro sighs "Poor Nuala stopped eating. She wasn't her bright and cheerful usual self anymore. She even stopped fluttering around, walked everywhere instead."

 

>"Why dude?" Boro asks with sorrow. "I know you were stupidly paranoid about it, maybe it's actually justified, maybe some of your relatives did got taken away, but that's none of my business. That's the past now, a shadow, an uneasy memory. None of those organizations exist anymore, and her family… Sometimes i wished mine was more like hers."

 

>Boro seems to have spoken her mind, as she's blankly staring at the verdant trees nearby.

 

>A question was eating me alive. What could possibly have happened to her? All of what Boro had said eerily leads to that one uneasy topic…

 

>The one you don't actually want to be in the same room with.

 

>Even i, back then, was worried about it.

 

>Mustering all of my courage, i finally ask that question. "Is she alright?"

 

>Silence.

 

>…

 

>"She's gone, Kovac." Boro answers with solemnity.

 

>"Gone"

 

>"Gone"

 

>"Gone…"

 

>"Gonegonegonegonegonegone"

 

>I felt a stinging pain inside my head as those words echoed inside

 

>How can she possibly be gone?

 

>Where did she go?

 

>Did she… Did she really do it?

 

>Am i really at fault for this?

 

>Boro kept talking, but i could barely hear her.

 

>My vision turned red, the green grass and the trees in front of me turned into an unsettling shade of dark red, like wine. The ground and the sky began to writhe and undulate like worms.

 

>I tried rubbing my eyes, blinking, closing them for a few seconds. But they wouldn't go away.

 

>Suddenly, she appeared, right in front of the trees. Her back facing me, butterfly wings slowly fluttering. Nuala. No shades of red on her, is she really there?

 

>She twitches in an almost robotic manner. Her head begins to slowly turn… That creaking sound was far too audible and real for my liking. Her head is now past a point of no return, a living being would surely be dead if its head could turn like that… A complete 180° turn… She's looking directly into my eyes.

 

>"Why?" She asks as a few tears roll down her pink cheeks.

 

>My heart begins to beat faster, as if it wanted to come out of my chest. The pumping sound is deafening.

 

>My breathing gets strained and it's gradually getting harder to breathe.

 

>I rub and blink a few times in hopes that she'd disappear. She's still there, looking at me.

 

>I turn to my side and look at Boro, he switches back a few times from his past Human form to his actual Demonic and Female form.

 

>Boro's looking at me, spouting words i can't understand, all unintelligible gibberish. Her mouth moves and only distorted sounds come out.

 

>I try to maintain a semblance of sanity, nodding at whatever she's saying and looking directly at her face, trying to ignore that uneasy hallucination of Nuala.

 

>Suddenly the corners of her mouth curl up into an impossible shape, twisting like a twirl. She opens her mouth with a toothy grin showing endless rows of pointy fangs.

 

>"Murderer…"

 

>That word came out of her mouth, the only word i could understand. She didn't even move her lips to say it as her mouth was open agape in a horrible grin.

 

>I begin to feel dizzy and nauseated, a horrible stench reaches my nostrils. The smell of decay.

 

>This was far too real. The worst one so far.

 

>I begin to tremble and shiver, my hands are shaking.

 

>I turn back to Boro, who stopped being herself and decided to take the form of Nuala.

 

>She looks at me expectantly with a smile, as if she were waiting for an answer.

 

>Her eyes suddenly turn pitch black, like an abyss. Like the one i just fell in.

 

>"Murderer"

 

>"Murderer"

 

>"Murderermurderermurderermurderer"

 

>She endlessly repeats that word, the only word that came out of her delicate, pink lips.

 

>And so, Nuala reached my forearm, her grasp felt ice cold, as if i submerged my whole arm in the frozen waters of a lake during winter…

 

>"Murderer" She kept repeating, sometimes it sounded like an exclamation, sometimes it sounded like a question. That word was the only thing i could hear in that moment.

 

>With a strange calmness, she repeats that word over and over. Always calm and composed, as she always is. As she always was.

 

>I, however, was about to lose it. To really lose it this time.

 

>The shade of red everything had, turned darker, the Nuala in front of me is still staring, lifelessly. The one by my side, grabbing my arm with a freezing coldness.

 

>You see, none of my hallucinations ever lasted this long. Not even when i was at my worst and lowest.

 

>My heartbeat increased up to a point where i thought i was at the brink of having a heart attack.

 

>I somehow managed to get on my feet, only to find that my knees were weak and trembling like an old man.

 

>Eyes darting everywhere, hands violently shaking, nausea and that horrible word drilling deep into my ears.

 

>In panic, i begin to run away, from the Nuala that sat besides me, from the Nuala standing in front of the treeline with her head completely turned back.

 

>Somewhere along the way from the gym building to the main school building i tripped, belly-flopping into the writhing ground, winded.

 

>Squirming and grasping for air like a fish out of water, i turn myself up, facing the crimson sky and the shapeless mounds of red flesh that lazily float in it.

 

>My breathing gets gradually more strained.

 

>My vision gets gradually blurrier.

 

>Everything fades to black afterwards.

 

>Wake up drenched in sweat and with a slight headache

 

>It's calm and soothing to see how the white ceiling waved and splashed where it connected to the walls, like the waters of a lake gently caressing the shore

 

>I let out a soft chuckle at the possibility of being at the Matango pit… They probably finally placed me into an asylum

 

>Nope, i can move my arms and legs, no straightjacket

 

>The sound of footsteps and a female voice startles me

 

>"Good to see you're finally awake, Kovac." It's Nuala, the school's nurse. Wearing a white lab coat and a smile on her face. "Took you some time…"

 

>I know she's supposed to be Ms. Gryszek, at least her voice sounds like it. I rub my eyes trying to focus but she's still Nuala…

 

>She sits down besides me, placing a hand on my forehead. Showing a little worry on her face, she reaches for one of the coat's pockets and takes a thermometer, gently placing it in my mouth.

 

>Waiting for a moment, she takes it out and reads the measurement "37.5, not so bad, your fever should be gone soon.", she shuffles in place and looks at me with those otherworldly purple eyes… Deeply staring into me. "Now Kovac, i don't like to rummage through the student's belongings but i found something that fell from your pocket and i couldn't just ignore."

 

>She takes out my small bottle of pills, rattling it a little bit.

 

>"These are some strong antipsychotics… And the medical history that was sent into this school doesn't mention the use of anything of that sort, no treatments, nothing." She narrows her eyes, thinking I'm some kind of drug addicted delinquent, she looks kinds of cute like this, i never got to see Nuala getting angry at anything. "So, mind explaining?"

 

>Seems that my facade has finally been blown. But i didn't feel nervous or scared about it… I was more afraid about the consequences of my actions. Or my lack of…

 

>And so, i decided to tell her everything, that i suffered from paranoia and schizophrenia and that it had gotten a tad worse lately, didn't say anything too specific though, the less she knew, the better it could be for me. Or at least that what i thought, i wasn't really much for trusting people, even if she was obliged to do that patient confidentiality thing.

 

>However, i made something very clear. I didn't want anyone knowing about my condition, not a word about it. That's why my parents had sent that plain and normal medical history. At least she complied to keep her mouth shut, people around here tend to do that, not sticking their noses in things that don't concern them, becuase they might get them cut, or worse. She handed them over afterwards, i must've looked like a pile of shit for her to believe me just like that.

 

>So anyways, i was interned to the nursery almost two hours ago. Ms. Gryszek said it was exhaustion and i also had a slight fever, it was a hot day after all. Good thing she's just a plain Human Lady, and not one of those kinds of Demihumans with magical and mind-reading powers, else she surely would've sent me to an asylum.

 

>Apparently Boro, or Bora as she wanted to be called now, carried me into this place. How she did it was beyond my comprehension, maybe turning into a kind of Succubus came with increased strength or something. She wasn't present as lunch break ended and she had a physics class, but promised to come back to the nursery when she was done with it.

 

>As we're waiting for my fever to subdue so she can release me, i couldn't help but to ask her a question… That one question gnawing on my thoughts.

 

>"Ms. Gryszek, is she… Is she really gone?" I ask he with solemnity, trying to ignore the moving bookshelf and the trembling wall behind.

 

>She lifts an eyebrow quizically "Who?"

 

>"Nuala."

 

>She takes a deep breath and looks downwards… "Ms. Mistdew?"

 

>Her expression hits me like a truck as everything began to turn red and my heart began to pump a little faster.

 

>"Well… Yes. It's such a shame she had to leave. Such a promising student… But perhaps she's in a better place now…", she says in a mournful tone

 

>And my heart takes a hit as the crimson hue takes a deeper shade, only the Schoolnurse Nuala in front of me retains her original and vivid colors, those pretty and gleaming wings…

 

>"You know, she always helped me get more supplies, apparently the schoolboard listened more to her than to me…" She adds with a nostalgic expression on her face

 

>As my headache grew, my hands began to shake and i tried my hardest to conceal it.

 

>"I think it's sad what happened to her… How she–". Suddenly her mouth warps into a horrible shape, a mockery resembling distorted words came out of her toothy grin.

 

>"Murdered!" She exclaims

 

>"By you!"

 

>"Anon Kovac, the Murderer!"

 

>My head and arms fall limp, eyes watering as the twisted Nuala continues to spout horrifying and distorted words.

 

>And like the cornered rat that i was, i tried to escape. Jumping out of bed and tackling the door open, i escaped that place, those words boring deep into my soul. I had to leave, i needed to get home and get a grip of reality.

 

>Only to find out that the hallway outside was many times worse. Countless Nualas checking their lockers, chatting and laughing… All within a place that resembled the insides of a freshly cleaned deer carcass, ribs lined on what were supposed to be the walls.

 

>I instinctively begin to run for the exit, and I'm on the second floor. I had no idea how i did it, but i managed to jump down the stairs, and I'm not a lithe and slender person like the guys from the gymnastics club.

 

>Some of the Nualas stared at me, others laughed. I knocked a few on my psychotic fit, those who were on the way.

 

>Finally i reached the exit, the one that faced to the school gates and out to the streets.

 

>Crimson sky with mounds of flesh floating in it, the sun shone with an intensity i had never seen or felt before as my skin felt like burning, the ground writhed and contorted, i had no idea how could i maintain my balance. But the worse of it was the stench of decay in the air, every breeze that caressed my face made me feel more and more nauseated. And of course, every voice i could pick from the Nualas around the gates and out in the streets only said one thing.

 

>"Murderer"

 

>So i kept running, to the only place i thought i could be safe from this madness. My mind was that of a feral animal, empty with all but primal terror. I wanted to escape, i wanted out of this.

 

>I must've ran for almost two kilometers or so, as my apartment was a little far from school.

 

>I puked along the way more than once, neither my stomach nor my nose could manage to put up with that disgusting smell that lingered in the air.

 

>The Human body is an amazing thing. Someone with no training at all being able to run for so long on winding streets. All fueled by the adrenaline and the fear flowing through his system.

 

>It was also a miracle that i didn't get ran over by a car on the many busy streets i had to cross.

 

>And then, i finally reached my building and went up the stairs, trembling like a man with Parkinson's disease i had so much trouble trying to fit the key inside it's respective hole…

 

>So many fucking locks…

 

>Why did i have to be like this?

 

>All i wanted was to be a normal person, living a boring life.

 

>Going to some shitty college, having whatever job i could get and live a bland adult life. Maintain a few long-lasting friendships too.

 

>I finally managed to open the door. I closed it behind with only one lock.

 

>At least the insides of my apartment don't look like the insides of a dead animal, or smell like it.

 

>From this point onward, i knew nothing would ever be 'normal' again.

 

>As i crash on my bed, drenched in sweat, i begin to cry.

 

>It's been so long since the last time i cried, it was something i thought i was over with. I thought my tears had dried up long ago.

 

>I was wrong.

 

>As i lie in bed, i ponder about many things

 

>Most of those 'things' had to do with certain uneasy topics and my actions.

 

>You see, i always took death for granted. Never really thought much about it and it's meaning, as i always saw it as 'something that eventually happened to almost everybody'. Always ignored and brushed aside news of people dying to tragedies or accidents and never paid much attention to it.

 

>After all, when the time comes, it comes. And you can't escape it.

 

>But it's all different when you know it's yourself the one who's to blame for taking a life. Even if it was indirectly, it was caused by me. Not natural, not the bad luck of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but the consequences of my lack of actions.

 

>I once asked Papa how it felt to take a person's life, with him having fought on the Retake of Anatolia and the ethnic relocations that soon followed, all before i was born.

 

>He said at first it wasn't different from hunting, as he was just following orders, but the pain comes later when he realized the consequences of his actions. That person he just killed had family and friends, dreams and aspirations. That person wouldn't be able to go back home and greet his family, he won't be able to see his sons and daughters, or wife, for a really long time. All of his dreams and aspirations for his life, to provide for his family, to love, were crushed by him. Along with many, many more.

 

>And that was a weight he had to carry on his shoulders until the end of his days.

 

>A weight i too, have to carry.

 

>I knew Nuala always wanted to be a Teacher. With her near-perfect grades she could've easily landed a scholarship at one of the more prestigious and private institutions for higher education, in engineering or one of those high-paying complex things like aeronautics.

 

>But that's what she wanted, to be a Teacher, to look after others and contribute to their formation as good and hardworking members of society…

 

>A dream that i crushed.

 

>Along with countless other possible dreams from her possible pupils… All crushed by me.

 

>Not mentioning the great sorrow her family and friends must be feeling right now.

 

>And I'm the cause of that. Because i was too afraid of something imaginary. Something that hasn't existed in a long time.

 

>I somehow make my way to the bathroom.

 

>That disgusting person in the mirror.

 

>Baggy, bloodshot eyes, messed up hair. I haven't shaved in quite some time so my patchy stubble looks like ants in white bread.

 

>Nuala comes walking from behind, her reflection looking at me with a sad frown.

 

>I turn back to see if she's there. Nothing.

 

>I turn back again, facing the mirror and her reflection begins to cry.

 

>"Why, Mr. Anon?" She sobs. "Why did you not let me love you?"

 

>I concentrate all my anger, sadness and frustration into my clenched fist.

 

>Throwing a punch to the mirror, right where my face is reflected, i yell "Because I'm an idiot, a madman. I should've been locked up with a straightjacket a long time ago!"

 

>The mirror shatters into countless pieces, all lying on the floor and each one of them has an image of Nuala, looking at me in sadness.

 

>Blood drips from my fist. I manage to take out all the few bits and pieces of glass out of it and drench it in alcohol.

 

>Countless Nualas still looking at me on the shattered pieces scattered around my bathroom.

 

>I then proceed to take my pills. I have no idea how many i took, i might've overdosed or was really close to do so, but i didn't care. I wanted those hallucinations to go away. I wanted them to stop reminding me that i was a worthless Human being.

 

>Groggily walk into my couch and turn the tv on, maybe for once there's something good in it.

 

>Not paying attention to what was shown on tv, i begin to think again.

 

>Should i apologize to her parents?

 

>Should i apologize to mine?

 

>No words could bring her back.

 

>I begin to tremble and feel dizzy, must be the extra pills i took. Cold sweat rolls down my forehead.

 

>Maybe it's time to see if all those pills did their work…

 

>And like an old man, i make my best effort to stand up and not fall. Taking a hammer, i begin to remove the nails that kept those wooden boards over my windows in place…

 

>It's been almost a year since i installed these things. To keep certain someone out.

 

>The sunlight makes me squint a bit, making my vision blurry.

 

>When it finally normalizes, i see that the outside world is back to normal, blue sky and clouds as it should be. People walking down the streets. The ground and the buildings aren't moving anymore…

 

>At least i can get a small dose of normalcy…

 

>And then, i look down. At the sill with a small space to plant flowers and do a little gardening on the outer side…

 

>A collection of cards, small packages with pink envelopes… And a cheesy bear plushy holding a heart. All weathered.

 

>I quickly take them all inside without hesitation.

 

>"To Mr. Anon Kovac, with love, from Nuala. Always yours. I hope you appreciate this small token showing my affection." I could barely read in the tag of a small, unopened box.

 

>I gingerly open it… Perhaps a little too late.

 

>A green stone with a peculiar shape, looks like the half of a heart. Along with a small paper "You now hold the other half of my heart."

 

>I clench the small trinket inside my fist as my hand begins to tremble.

 

>My other arm and head hang low. My eyes water up again.

 

>A crushing weight I'll have to carry, after all…

 

>So i just sit on the floor for some time, blankly staring at the assortment of gifts, the weathered and sun-bleached envelopes.

 

>Some of them contained candies, either already stale or eaten by ants or other bugs.

 

>Others contained cookies, too moldy, dry or already half consumed to be edible. Probably baked by her…

 

>And the last one… The one that actually hit the worst.

 

>A Birthday gift. My birthday was in the middle of the summer holidays, so i wasn't around. It also seems to be the most recent one, as it doesn't appear to be damaged and it actually had the date written on it.

 

>Inside, a picture of her. Smiling, although a little awkwardly, as if she were trying to conceal other feelings.

 

>It had came with a small note.

 

>'Happy Eighteenth Birthday to you, Mr. Anon. May you find good health and prosperity becoming a man, as it is in Human custom. I hope you get to read this whenever you are back home from the holidays, please know that i love you and i always will, even though you do not share the same feelings as i do. I apologize if i appeared forceful, bold and assertive towards your person, but sometimes i cannot control myself and my ignorance in such matters did not help at all. I am truly sorry, Mr. Anon, and i hope life smiles upon you and you get to live a long and prosperous time in this mortal plane, blessed with a Woman that loves you and many Children of your own.'

 

>'I wholeheartedly apologize for being such a troublesome annoyance to you. Farewell, i will now embark on a long journey and perhaps things will be better in the other side. I will never forget you, Anon Kovac, and i hope you remember me as a friend and not as the thorn in your side that i had become.'

 

>'With much love, Nuala Mistdew.'

 

>By the end of her letter i could clearly see how the ink was a little washed off and the words got distorted… I didn't want to think it was caused by her tears. But it probably was.

 

>I had no reaction for what i had read. I was unable to process anything at that moment.

 

>A horrible feeling of dread, sorrow and misery ran through my whole body and paralyzed me.

 

>All i could do was to stare at the photograph held in my hand.

 

>Blankly.

 

>I just couldn't believe it.

 

>I couldn't believe that i was actually the cause of this.

 

>And to make matters worse, from someone that deeply cared about me, even though i never reciprocated any of those feelings.

 

>Somebody that, strangely enough, loved someone such as myself.

 

>Even though she stalked me, even though she sometimes scared the shit out of me, she was always there with a smile, asking me how my day was…

 

>Maybe that was her way of expressing love.

 

>I never deserved any of that affection.

 

>I found myself lost, staring at her once beautiful eyes. Impossibly gleaming like two purple gemstones.

 

>I had no idea for how long i did so. Perhaps well over two hours.

 

>Lifelessly staring at what now was just a memory…

 

>Still wallowing in my misery, looking at Nuala's photograph.

 

>The Sun's setting and it makes my whole room have an orange tint.

 

>I seriously don't know how long i've been like this, but it seems that i can't do anything else other than to look at her.

 

>It's strange but i begin to fantasize how different it would've been if i actually acknowledged her affection…

 

>If i stopped being a paranoid and maybe, just maybe, telling that i appreciated her gifts and concerns.

 

>Perhaps she would've been one of the few people i ever trusted…

 

>Maybe even becoming more than just a friend. Someone closer to me, and my heart.

 

>But i know that opportunity is gone. Forever.

 

>So, while still lying on the floor, her little gifts all scattered around me, i hear the doorbell ringing.

 

>I didn't pay much mind to it, but it just kept ringing and ringing.

 

>I wanted to be alone…

 

>So i took one of my old steel-tipped boots and threw it at the small box where the chime is located. Efficiently breaking it.

 

>It was probably some of those manlet preachers, always going around in pairs on their bikes and tricking people into joining their heretical clubhouse with honeyed words.

 

>Peace at last.

 

>…

 

>…

 

>But it didn't last long, around ten minutes later i hear knocking on my door.

 

>And it gradually gets more and more frantic.

 

>"I know you're in there, dude, open up!" Said a familiar voice muffled by the door.

 

>Great, now i have an unwanted visit…

 

>Almost fifteen minutes of door banging must've passed, but i didn't want to move from my spot.

 

>I hear fiddling on the locks… All seven of them. Not counting the ones that were supposed to have padlocks

 

>She must be picking them, funny because i only locked one… Fucking gypsy… Demon.

 

>Finally the door opens.

 

>"Look i didn't wanna do this, but you left me with no choice. You left your stuff at school and i had to—"

 

>She's suddenly cut off when gazing upon me. Stopping right on her tracks.

 

>"I see you do have feelings after all…"

 

>She closes the door behind, drops my backpack on the floor and comes closer to me.

 

>I'm still holding Nuala's photo…

 

>Boro kneels down, i look at her now rather delicate face… Damn gypsy peder Demon thing…

 

>I couldn't contain myself… And shamefully burst into tears.

 

>She holds and gives me a tight hug. One that i really needed… "I-It's all my fault, bratan. I did it all. She's gone because of me… I should be put in jail, sent to a labor camp… O-Or spend the rest of my life in a metal asylum!"

 

>She gives me a few pats in the back and holds me tighter.

 

>After well over ten minutes of embarrassingly wailing on her shoulder, i pry out. Still holding the photograph, i show it to Boro, along with her farewell card.

 

>A few tears roll from her cheeks as she looks at me, "All of this should never have happened… I-I… I'm also at fault for it. For not telling you, for not pushing or confronting you about it… B-But, i guess she's in a better place now after all…"

 

>"I killed her, don't blame yourself for it! I was all my fault, i never deserved her love, her devotion. I'm a murderer… And now she's gone forever." I tell her between sobs.

 

>"K-Kovac…" She looks at me, tightly holding my hand, still with a few tears rolling down her cinnamon cheeks. "Y-You… You didn't really listened to me, right? B-Before you ran away… And passed out… You looked really bad."

 

>I shake my head. "I… I have a few problems in my mind… I-I see things that aren't quite there and they're also the root of my… Paranoia, so to speak… When you said she was gone i immediately got a horrible fit, thrown into hell itself. And it was the worse one i've had so far".

 

>Taking out bottle with pills inside, in shame and still sobbing i add "These help me calm down. But i had to take so many today… After i woke up at the Nursery, i asked Ms. Gryszek about Nuala… And she said she had gone to a better place. It was so bad that i had to run away… I-I saw Nuala, everywhere… And the guilt of her death is eating me alive."

 

>Perhaps telling her was a good thing after all, i didn't care about it anymore. I just wanted the pain to go away.

 

>"Dammit Kovac." She places both of her hands on my shoulders, looking directly into my eyes "I should've stayed with you, man… N-Now, i want you to take a good look at me and carefully listen to my words this time. Okay?"

 

>Boro takes a deep breath and sighs.

 

>"She's gone, interned into a mental asylum… In summer she began to—"

 

>I suddenly feel winded, dizzy and my ears ringing …

 

>Almost felt as if my heart skipped a few beats.

 

>Tumbled around, still being held by Boro…

 

>And lost consciousness shortly afterwards.

 

>I wake up lying on the floor, a pillow at the back of my head and a blanket over me.

 

>Boro's casually sitting on my couch, watching tv. Her legs crossed and sitting like a girl would do. Showing more than she should, i actually see her disgustingly cute gypsy panties under her skirt.

 

>I look away with a combination of disgust and shame, knowing how her past self looked like. I also found the whole deal of him turning into a cute girl, because one can't deny it she turned out to be pretty cute as gay as it might sound, i found that whole deal to be a little unsettling.

 

>She looks at me with the smuggest grin "Likin' what ya see, bratan?"

 

>"No, you're still a dude to me."

 

>"Oh, really?" Boro stands up and begins to lift her skirt "I'm a girl now, here's the proof~"

 

>I hoist myself up and look away "Okay, okay you're a girl. I don't need any proof."

 

>She lets out a girly giggle.

 

>After a long and awkward silence, i couldn't help but to bring the topic of Nuala.

 

>"So… Sh-She's not dead… Is she alright?" I asked with concern.

 

>Boro rolls her eyes "You ain't gonna pass out again, are ya? You're makin' a habit outta it", after shamefully looking down she adds "I'm sorry… I can't imagine the amount of stress that you've been dealing with… Just forget what i said."

 

>She takes a deep breath and massages her temples.

 

>With solemnity, she answers "I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, she's not alright. At all. In summer she began to scribble your name all over her room… B-But the last drop was on your birthday, after endlessly callin' you, and me. Asking if i knew where you were… That's when she did try to… You know, that… She survived the gruesome wounds, were it not for her Mom arriving home earlier than usual that day."

 

>"Afterwards, she shut herself in, quite literally… I visit her every Saturday, ever since that happened, but she won't say a word to anybody, not to me, not to her parents. She just lifelessly sits in her room all day long, blankly staring at nothing… I don't think she eats much, either."

 

>Boro then looks directly at me, she looks really sad. "I think she's in great pain, bratan… And we're both at fault for that…"

 

>"It's not your fault." I tell her with a stern tone, "It's all my fault. You've got nothing to do with this, it was because of my lack of actions, because of my paranoia. You were just a poor spectator. Do you seriously think i would've listened to you? No. I wouldn't have, this would've continued regardless of you."

 

>I let out a long sigh "I think it was inevitable… I thought of endless ways this could've ended well… But it's already done, bratan, the damage has been done. And it was because of me…"

 

>Boro gives me a hug and few pats on my back, again.

 

>It's reassuring to know that she's someone i can fully count on…

 

>It feels strange. But i guess it's a nice change.

 

>Moments later, i ask her "Do you think i could go see her one of these days? Maybe when you go visit her… I want to apologize… I… I need to see her, i really do."

 

>Boro stares at me with a sad frown… For a moment that felt way too long.

 

>"I don't think that's gonna be possible, Kovac. Her Parents… Well, more like her Therapist… Forbade you from going near her. And they check IDs before being allowed inside the Asylum."

 

>She sighs "It has to do with her, being catatonic, how she might get panic attacks if she sees you or something like that… I think you should forget about this, bratan. Maybe you did enough damage already. And… Perhaps it's for the best if you just forgot about this… Her parents also told me that… They say it's going to take quite some time just to return to a semblance of her old self."

 

>Boro then tries to give me a smile, but it comes up as an awkward and pained smirk "Maybe you'll get to see her when she's cured…"

 

>I knew that was bullshit.

 

>You can't cure yourself from this, just heal enough so it won't affect your daily live, pumped up on drugs or learn how to control it like i sort of did, but there's no cure for that. At all.

 

>After having an awkward and silent evening, Boro leaves me.

 

>All of my thoughts were focused on Nuala during that whole time…

 

>Caged up inside an Asylum, who knows for how long.

 

>And all because of me. I felt powerless to say the least. But at least i found a little peace knowing that she was actually alive…

 

>But her condition deeply worried me, catatonic and Boro mentioned 'gruesome wounds' that i hoped weren't too bad or caused her too much pain.

 

>…

 

>I carefully arranged all of her gifts in a small shelf and looked at them with a little nostalgia.

 

>Even the moldy cookies and stale candies, couldn't bring myself to throw them away. Like i did with her.

 

>To think i was so heartless to not acknowledge somebody like that…

 

>I really didn't deserve her, perhaps she understood that.

 

>Maybe she was too pure for this world, and for me.

 

>In bed, i deeply stare at her 'other half of her heart'. It's just a stone… She probably carved it herself. For me.

 

>To think i hold the symbolic half of someone's heart. Undeservedly owning it.

 

>Tightly holding it inside my fist, i take it close to my heart. Perhaps Boro's right, one day i might see her again.

 

>I just hope she wants to see me too.

 

>I slowly drift asleep afterwards…

 

>My bed is shaking and somebody is using my stomach as some sort of drum

 

>Groggily opening my eyes, i see two small figures near me.

 

>The closest one, the one who was using me as a drum, smiled at me and exclaimed "Papa finally woke up!"

 

>Her long and silky brown hair danced every time she slammed her hands on my stomach, looking at me with her beautiful purple eyes and mischievously smiling.

 

>She was well aware that all of her actions were made just to bother me and give her nuggies in the head for being such a mischievous girl. But i didn't care at all.

 

>Then suddenly the other figure crashes onto my chest, winding me.

 

>Her rather short, blonde hair waved every time she laughed and her hazel eyes gleamed with the sunshine coming out of the window. "Papa, wake up! Mommy made breakfast! Come!"

 

>Resigning to my chances of oversleeping on a Saturday morning, i catch my breath and hoist myself up, both of my little girls pounce and tightly hug me.

 

>"'Morning Papa!" They both say in unison as i curl both of my arms around them.

 

>After doing my morning business in the bathroom, they're both eagerly waiting for me while jumping in bed.

 

>As i come out, they both come flying towards me, each one grabbing one of my hands. It's so nice to see that they're already able to fly with their small butterfly wings, i still remember when they couldn't even float a few centimeters away from the floor.

 

>And after literally being dragged along the hallway, we finally reach the kitchen…

 

>My beautiful wife. My Nuala.

 

>Positively gleaming with the morning sunshine and wearing her cutesy pink, frilled apron. She smiles at all of us "Good Morning my love… I hope our little girls were not too mischievous while waking you up!"

 

>After my two precious daughters hurriedly sit down, i approach my wife and plant a kiss on her pursed lips, wrapping one of my arms around her back "As mischievous as always. I wouldn't have it any other way."

 

>She giggles and shows me to the table. We're having French Toast today.

 

>A collection of different jams, all made by her of course, honey and butter are neatly arranged besides a huge platter of her delicious French Toasts.

 

>I would be lying if i said i haven't gained a single kilogram ever since we got together, her cooking is otherworldly to say the least, although she always says it's just the proud Husband on me that's talking and she's not that good. But i know better, and our two daughters also know it.

 

>Yes, my good Wife got to live her dream of being a teacher for a few years, but ever since our first Daughter arrived into this world, she gave up on it.

 

>She said the blessing of having a Child of her own was enough for her to give up on her dreams. That's the kinda cheesy stuff she always says, but i love her for that.

 

>When we're all done, my littlest daughter, out of curiosity, asks my Wife "Mommy, how did you meet Papa?"

 

>Nuala warmly smiles at her, being rushed by memories…

 

>"Well my Little Flower, we met in school, almost at the end of it in eleventh grade! And he seemed a little lonely, so i approached him because Mommy knew how loneliness felt…"

 

>Both of my Daughters say 'Oooh' in awe…

 

>"We became fast friends and one day, out of accident, your Papa fell down a set of stairs while helping me carry some things! I was so worried i rushed and caught him in mid air after he got a few boo-boos. I, however, was not strong enough, so both of us funnily crashed into the floor, he landed atop of me and looked directly into my eyes… From that moment i knew he was the one…"

 

>My little girls continue with an 'Aaah!'…

 

>"Well some months had passed, and almost every day i gave him a gift. Be it cookies, or other sweets Boys sure loved!"

 

>Both of my Daughters laugh in unison.

 

>"But your Papa did not love me back… No matter how hard i tried, no matter how many presents i gave him, he just would not acknowledge my love… I had no idea why, were the things i prepared for him bad-tasting? Did he not like my gifts? Were the letters i sent him badly-written? Did he find me… Unpleasant?… I had no idea why. And i was so sad… So lonely… So the summer holidays came and so did his Birthday. He, however, had left for his Parents' home for a visit…"

 

>Nuala's eyes begin to turn pitch black as she directly stares at me "So i decided to end my misery on the day of his Birth's celebration. He was not there, he never was… After my failed attempt, as one would expect from a failure such as myself, i was interned into a Mental Asylum. I spent many years inside that cramped room, thinking about how much of a failure i was, how much of an annoyance i was to everyone in this world."

 

>My daughter's eyes also turn pitch-black as they begin to stare deeply into me.

 

>"So, one day i decided that my suffering was enough and finally summoned the courage to end my pitiful existence. I grabbed a fistful of pills i had saved under my pillow and took them all, at once. You could say that your Papa murdered me".

 

>Nuala lets out a distorted mockery of a giggle, her mouth turned into a black hole with endless rows of teeth, with a deep and horrible voice, she adds "And that, my little Girls, is how we met! When he murdered me! It was all because of him! He's a murderer!"

 

>Both of my little Daughters take horrifying appearances as they begin to laugh at me "Murderer! Murderer!" They both repeated all over and over…

 

>I helplessly look at them while they maniacally laugh at me, at my failures.

 

>Helpless as i've always been, never taking part in anything.

 

>Laughing at the indifference that costed Nuala her dear and promising life.

 

>…

 

>…

 

>I quickly gasp for air as my heart threatened to leave my chest through the nearest exit.

 

>My head hurts and there's cold sweat covering all of my body.

 

>When i slowly begin to connect the dots, i find myself inside my room.

 

>That old Battle Carbine lying besides me, not as a lover, but as a faithful companion.

 

>Her gifts still sitting on that small shelf.

 

>Opening my clenched right fist, the other half of her heart is sitting on my palm.

 

>I blankly stare at it for a few moments…

 

>"I have to see her… I NEED TO SEE HER!"

 

>The past few days have been extenuating to say the least.

 

>Nights of restless sleep along with that recurring nightmare.

 

>For the first time in months i truly felt alone… But i couldn't change back to 12-C. There's probably more than one person in there that hates me for what i did to Nuala.

 

>So i had to brace myself. I tried chatting with a few guys in my class but it wasn't the same.

 

>Also my schedules almost never coincided with Boro's, so i barely encountered her.

 

>But those few times i did hang out with her, she's been very supportive. Just how a brother… No, how a sister would be.

 

>Never thought I'd truly have a friendship with a disgusting gypsy.

 

>But that's the way life is i guess, just how she turned into an Alp.

 

>I never asked her about it, how she 'transformed'. Ignorance is bliss, they say.

 

>I also asked her a few times where Nuala was interned, but she never answered.

 

>Always said it was for her own good. That her therapist actually recommended it.

 

>How good is for somebody to be caged up for who knows for how long? All alone, wallowing in her sadness.

 

>Well, i knew i had to do something, i wanted to see her. I needed to see her, after all. After that one horrible day, with the hallucinations that were far too real for my liking.

 

>Another thing is that those hallucinations never ceased. I kept seeing Nuala here and there, mostly wailing and looking at me with a face that broke my heart.

 

>But at least everything else was fairly 'normal'. No disgusting smells, no red tint on stuff and no dancing walls and floors.

 

>It's finally Saturday, the day of Boro's weekly visit. This was my chance.

 

>Now, being a paranoid isn't all about having fear of being persecuted and having extreme distrust of others. It also means that i get to have a fucking plan for everything, and a back-up plan, and a back-up plan for that back-up plan. So on and so forth.

 

>It also meant fearing that other people discovered who i was or where i lived. So, on my seventeenth Birthday i asked my Parents for one thing, and one thing only. A fake ID.

 

>To my surprise, and i guess they wanted to quell my madness, they got me several fake IDs, along with their respective Passports for the Pan-Slavic Union along with a pair from the Hellenic Commonwealth. Funny enough, they all had a special permit to carry and own guns.

 

>I had no idea how they got it, must be Papa's contacts in the Higher Military Echelons, as they actually gave me eight fake IDs. I could be eight different persons, and they all looked like me.

 

>And i was about to use this to my advantage. I'd stalk Boro until she gets to whatever Asylum Nuala's in. Whenever she comes out, I'll go in as one of my various alter-egos.

 

>Fucking flawless.

 

>But not everything's this easy. I couldn't just waltz behind Boro while she's going around the streets, nope.

 

>Boro's no longer Human, and who knows what kind of powers she has now. She very well may be able to smell or sense me from a distance. That's why I'd have to do it from afar and with a disguise just in case she takes notice of my presence…

 

>That's why i doused myself with cheap perfume and wore an old black raincoat and a fake black beard… I also bought myself a black wig, a wide-brimmed black hat and one of those stupid Groucho glasses…

 

>Oy vey i look like Hannah's Father!

 

>It's the perfect disguise!

 

>Not mentioning that one of my IDs was 'Shimon Avramovic'. Papa sure likes to be funny from time to time.

 

>Although i was a little young on my ID to have a beard that bushy… And the picture didn't look like the real deal. But who's to judge me?

 

>Those small moments of dumb fun somehow made me keep going.

 

>So, it begins. I place myself a block away from Boro's shitty gypsy camp. A collection of trailers where she lives with her thirty or so cousins.

 

>I begin to tail her as she walks alone through the shitty part of my city. Hope i don't catch anyone's eye dressed like this.

 

>Thankfully i didn't. At the metro station, we both get on the same wagon. A possibly dangerous situation, but i had to do it.

 

>She begins to casually chat to one of the gypsies that were playing the accordion. They tend to do that inside the wagons, when people are distracted, they have another guy steal the victim's wallets. Disgusting.

 

>The accordion player gets down on another station and I'm suddenly found in an almost deserted wagon. Only about ten people, including Boro and myself.

 

>By a strange twist of fate, Boro comes closer to me. She begins to me eye up and down when she finally approached me…

 

>I clenched my asscheeks hoping my cover wasn't blown.

 

>"Mmmh… You seem strangely familiar. But i can't quite place you…" She says while looking at me. "Do you happen to know Hannah Goldenleaf?"

 

>All that suspense made me sweat, but thankfully my disguise was good enough to even convince her that i was related to that Danuki. "No. I come from Old Dubrovo. Please leave me be, i don't like Demons. Horrible creatures." I told her while moving my had dismissively.

 

>She throws a glare at me and sits at the opposite end of the wagon. She must be still new with her Demon powers or something. Thankfully.

 

>After cautiously following her around, we arrived at one edge of the city. A small, paved road through the hills and forests.

 

>As she treks through the road, i stealthily make my way through the forests located along it, being careful enough to not break any branches or rustle too many leaves.

 

>Finally we arrive… A tall brick wall and an iron gate. A small guardhouse is located outside. Boro flashes her ID and she's granted entry by the guard. I seriously hope i don't need any invitations to see Nuala…

 

>This place is fucking ominous, actually reminds me of one of the tales about those old camps they used to place Demihumans inside back in the First Contact war…

 

>Above the gate is a sign, made out of the same wrought iron the gates are made off. 'Saint Stefan Psychiatric Hospital'.

 

>I cringe and writhe a bit, I'm hating this place already.

 

>Now begins the long wait, making sure no security cameras catch a glimpse of me, i remain hidden in the bushes.

 

>The place is actually fairly well-guarded… Cameras along the wall every few meters. But no razor wire, that'd hurt their image i guess.

 

>And after exactly an hour and a half, Boro comes out from the gates. She waves the guard goodbye and makes her trip down the road…

 

>She didn't notice me again, which makes me thing i was successful. Now's my time to shine.

 

>Packing my stupid costume inside my backpack and leaving it behind, surely gonna get patted and searched and i can't compromise my costume.

 

>As i ready one of my fake IDs, i slowly walk towards the guard who's posted outside, lazily watching tv and smoking.

 

>And so, i brace myself for whatever lies i might have to come up with.

 

>An image of a Nuala appears at the other side of the road.

 

>She's smiling and giving me a thumbs up in encouragement.

 

>I couldn't help but to smile back, even if she was just a figment of my imagination.

 

>This is actually the first time i've seen her happy in my mind.

 

>I hope she's also happy to see me in real life…

 

>I'm pretty nervous, hope this guy doesn't perform a cavity search on me...

 

>Or any thorough search, because i might have more than a few knives randomly strapped around my body... One can never be too sure.

 

>I silently and slowly approach the lazy guard. Quickly perking up from his lethargic state, he darts out of his chair and looks at me expectantly. Guess I'll just have state my business.

 

>"I come to see my friend, Nuala Mistdew"

 

>He lifts both of his brows and sighs, his expression seems strangely concerned "Here too see that poor girl? First time, ain't never seen you before. Gonna need your ID and address, just for the records."

 

>I take out my wallet and snatch an ID, I wasn't gonna use the Avramovic one so i grabbed a different one. "Jorji Costava, i go to the same School she used to...". After confirming that i was indeed 'Jorji Costava', i gave him the address of an apartment building at the opposite side of the city.

 

>He looks at me with a little disbelief "Jorji Costava... Like THAT one Jorji Costava?"

 

>Papa always had a strange sense of humor... Jorji Costava was a not-really-famous and obscure smuggler and drug-dealer, mainly trafficked with illegal and/or highly regulated things like Apophis Venom, Manticore Barbs, Girtablilu Venom, disgusting Matango Spores so on and so forth, in the years after the First Contact War, when makeshift prisons and other shady places and dens were filled to the brim with Demhuman illegals. All caged up... Like my poor Nuala. Ironic.

 

>"I have no relation to that man." I bluntly state, you had to be some kind of history-nut to even know about that guy... Sorta like me.

 

>After being granted permission to go inside, the fat guard grabs my shoulder when I'm right about to step past the iron gates. "Hey, Buddy... I don't wanna alarm you but... The things you'll see inside will make ya sorta uneasy. And i guess seeing your friend like that will also have some impact on you... Just a friendly warning so you brace for it and it doesn't hit you as hard as it did to Miss Bora, I'm sure you know her, she comes every weekend.", after giving me a few pats on the back he adds "I don't mean to be mean-spirited, but brace yourself, Boy... Good luck.".

 

>That was a little worrisome...

 

>And as i walk through the long courtyard, i take notice of my surroundings. It doesn't seem like a bad place, green grass and fountains. You can see a few Humans and Demihumans running around or dozing off... Must be the more 'sane' patients to be allowed outside.

 

>I find myself in front of a big building. Looks like your standard medical facility built like fifty years ago. Really big and very well-kept... At least she's in a nice place.

 

>I take a deep breath and step inside, I'm welcomed by a Receptionist. Human Girl, cute bangs.

 

>I give her my name and business, and she immediately puts a sad frown on her face, for a few seconds... She quickly tries to change it to a smile. "Oh, so you're another friend of Ms. Mistdew! I'm sure she'll be happy to see you!"

 

>It's these obvious reactions when people try to hide the facts that piss me off a little bit. I know she's bad, but there's no need to sugarcoat it.

 

>And so, she tells a Nurse to guide me, a jaded-looking old Woman. One could say she has seen lots of things.

 

>As I'm guided through winding halls, i notice many rooms, a PTSD ward, filled with many aging Demihumans... A sad reminder of our past. Another group of mixed people trying to paint, another room with board games and a tv... The only guards i around saw were burly

men armed with batons.

 

>Then sadness fills me when I'm taken to the second floor... This place just looks like a fucking jail. With a pristine tone of white, but still seemed like a damn jail.

 

>Room 233. That's where the Fat Nurse stops.

 

>Before she opens the door, i stop her right before her hand touches the doorknob.

 

>"Miss, before we go in... Can you tell me how is she? I want to be prepared..."

 

>She takes a deep breath "Miss Nuala is in a sort of catatonic state, she doesn't respond to any external stimuli. She also seems to suffer from hallucinations, as she sometimes tends to mutter words that make no sense... And not mentioning the injuries she sustained when..." She coughs on her fist trying to change the topic. "Ahem, yes... With my forty-five years of experience, i haven't seen anybody like this ever since the several wars that took place years ago..."

 

>She tries to gives me a smile, but it's already too late for me.

 

>My heart races as i feel the weigh of guilt on my back.

 

>The Nurse places a hand on the doorknob, knocks three times. Upon hearing no response, she gingerly opens it and takes a peek inside.

 

>Must be the usual procedure. Checking so i accidentally don't have to witness a gruesome scene...

 

>Quickly after she's done, the Old Lady fully opens the door and gestures me to go inside.

 

>"Miss Mistdew, you have a visitor! It's a friend from school!" She exclaims. Must be hard to work in a place like this.

 

>Upon hearing no response, she gestures me to go inside again.

 

>I take a deep breath and close my eyes, bracing myself for what's to come.

 

>I'll finally see Nuala...

 

>My heart is racing.

 

>I take a few steps inside and muster all of my courage just to open my eyes...

 

>I'd be lying if i said i wasn't nervous right now.

 

>Knees weakly trembling, along with my hands and the rest of my body. Every time my heart pumped blood it felt as if my eardrums were going to burst.

 

>Sweaty palms, i wipe them clean on my jeans.

 

>And finally taking another deep breath, i open my eyes.

 

>Blinded by the sunlight coming from the barred windows.

 

>The first thing i see is a collection of 'get well soon' balloons, flower bouquets and plushies arranged atop of a small table…

 

>As my vision adjusts, my eyes move on their own to the left side of the room.

 

>It's Nuala… Sitting in a plain hospital bed, back turned to the door.

 

>Her once beautiful wings seem to have lost their colors and glimmer.

 

>I finally see her…

 

>"Door's going to be unlocked, as it always is. Anything you need I'll be on my post at the end of this hallway." Said the Old Nurse, closing the door behind me.

 

>I stand motionless inside the room, she hasn't taken notice of my presence.

 

>Or perhaps she doesn't want to.

 

>I have no idea what to say, after all she's been through because of me.

 

>Should i apologize? Should i casually greet her?

 

>I ponder at those thoughts for way too long…

 

>I should be happy to see her again!

 

>So i muster my courage, putting a wide smile on my face and exclaiming "Hey Nuala!"

 

>No response.

 

>"S-So i came to see you because i was worried about you…"

 

>No response.

 

>Deeply sighing, i begin to slowly walk towards her bed.

 

>Standing in front of her i take notice of the bandages covering her neck, the left upper side of her face and her whole left arm.

 

>She doesn't take notice of my presence, as if she were deeply and lifelessly gazing into an abyss.

 

>Just what have i done? I ask myself.

 

>"I-I'm sorry Nuala… I'm so sorry." I say kneeling in front of her, trying to contain myself.

 

>Nuala doesn't even blink, only shakes her head and mutters something that breaks my heart even more.

 

>"You are not real. Go away."

 

>"N-Nuala, it's me… I'm real. I'm right in front of you!" I exclaim in desperation, doing my best so my voice doesn't come out squeaky and broken.

 

>She shakes her head yet again "You are not real. Go away."

 

>I take her un-bandaged hand and hold it with both of mine. "Nuala, i know this is hard, but I'm here for you. I… I've been through something similar… And i want you to know that I'm here to help. In any way i can."

 

>No response… She doesn't even make eye contact. I let her hand go and it falls limply to her side like a rag-doll.

 

>By now I'm trying my hardest to not let any tears out. I have to be strong. For her and for myself.

 

>I sit right besides her, trying to figure out what is it that happened to her and the magnitude of it. But her bandages are covering all the wounds.

 

>I deeply stare at her uncovered eye. That once beautiful purple gem now looks like the lifeless rhinestone eye of a doll.

 

>I stay like this for a good while, silently gazing at her. I just couldn't bring myself to say anything else. Maybe it was futile to do so.

 

>That's when i pat her shoulder, hopefully trying to cheer her up.

 

>Nuala turns her head and locks her uncovered eye with mine. Staring at me as if she had seen a ghost.

 

>"Go away. You are not real. The real Anon Kovac hates me. The real Anon Kovac does not want to see me anymore." She says with a monotonous tone. "Go away, illusion."

 

>That's when i felt as if my heart was stabbed with a dagger.

 

>"Nuala, it's me, Kovac. I'm here for you, i don't hate you… I-I…" And i lost it, tears begin to roll down my cheeks. "N-Nuala, i love you. I never realized it… I'm s-sorry for what i did to you! I miss you Nuala… I-I miss accidentally bumping into you around the hallways… I miss your cheesy gifts… I miss you so much Nuala, please come back! P-Please come back to me", i said between sobs.

 

>She blankly stares at me for a moment… Then her expression turns into a frown "GO AWAY!", she yells.

 

>"N-Nuala, it's me… The real me, I'm right in front of you."

 

>"GO AWAY, YOU ARE NOT REAL!"

 

>"N-Nuala…"

 

>"GO AWAY!"

 

>…

 

>"YOU ARE NOT REAL!"

 

>Nuala suddenly stands up, her slender figure towering above me. With an expression of pure rage she keeps yelling those words.

 

>I couldn't help but to fall flat on the floor, scuttling and cowering myself into a corner near the door.

 

>She kept angrily yelling at me, when she suddenly began to glow with a faint green hue.

 

>Then, everything inside the room also began to glow with that same green outline.

 

>Her bed, table, gifts and the two small stools began to float and circle through the air.

 

>Nuala's hair wildly waved as she repeated "NOT REAL! NOT REAL! NOT REAL!" All over and over, her glare deeply pierced into my soul.

 

>I was frozen in place, helpless like a cornered animal with a combination of fear, shame and sadness.

 

>I couldn't do anything, i couldn't say anything.

 

>Nuala kept glaring at me, yelling that i wasn't real.

 

>Suddenly the door behind me opened, it was that Old Nurse, she dragged me outside "Bring the Arcane Nullifier!" She yelled.

 

>A team of four Men in labcoats quickly came to the room, each holding a strange cubic device. They closed the door behind.

 

>I didn't hear or see anything afterwards. They're probably just subduing Nuala's powers.

 

>As i sit on the floor, blankly staring at Nuala's room, the Nurse stretches a hand and helps me stand up.

 

>"Are you alright, Mr. Costava?"

 

>I silently nod, all of my thought were focused on Nuala.

 

>She places a hand on my back and gives me a reassuring smile "I know it's hard to see your friend like this… But you must have faith. You must remain strong, Mr. Costava, she probably believed you were a hallucination… Just stay strong, young man. Perhaps you'll hopefully see your friend coming back to herself in a few years."

 

>That's what i feared the most.

 

>Just how long must Nuala suffer like this? Physical wounds may heal relatively quick, but mental wounds never heal…

 

>She guides me back into the lobby and i make my way out of the Asylum… Still in tears.

 

>It's almost evening and the sun is setting.

 

>I drag my feet to the main gate and I'm stopped by that Lazy Guard. He looks at me up and down and gives me a few pats in my shoulder. "Would you like a ride home? My shift ended and you… Well you don't really look good, Buddy… And perhaps taking public transportation like this wouldn't be a good idea."

 

>I paid no mind, i didn't care about my distrust issues. I didn't care about this mid-aged Man's pity. I just wanted my Nuala back.

 

>I accepted his offer. I didn't care if he drugged me and harvested my organs afterwards. I didn't care if he kidnapped me. I honestly didn't care about anything back then.

 

>Quickly grabbing my backpack, i get into his car that was parked a small distance away from the entrance.

 

>He was very talkative, perhaps trying to light up my mood. Silently sat on the passenger's seat with the fresh memories of that broken Nuala repeated in loop.

 

>I guide him to my apartment. My real apartment, not the fake one at the other side of the city.

 

>He looks at me with a little bewilderment. "But the direction you gave me is far away from here."

 

>I just shrugged, not caring about possibly blowing my cover.

 

>"Where are we?… Is this… Is this where this Kovac guy lives?"

 

>My heart took yet another jab. Just to know that people actually knew about me. About the guy that destroyed Nuala, who knows what they gossiped about me…

 

>"Just… Just don't do anything you'll regret about afterwards, Buddy. You're not gonna beat him up, are you?" He asked with curiosity.

 

>I deeply sigh "I don't think Kovac can possibly take any more hits… He's been hurt and beaten up too much already. But i think he deserved it… Every single one."

 

>He gives me a final pat on the back and bids goodbye.

 

>When I'm finally inside my apartment, i dive into my bed.

 

>My tears never ceased. As they're wetting my pillow.

 

>Silently, I meditate on the real consequences of my actions.

 

>I didn't just kill Nuala…

 

>I did something far worse…

 

>I killed her soul, her spirit.

 

>"Murderer."

 

>Those horrible nightmares and restless nights have taken their toll on me. Along with the occasional hallucinations.

 

>I haven't had a single night of rest in almost a week.

 

>I look like shit.

 

>I feel like shit.

 

>Yesterday i visited Nuala again, the Head Nurse was a little reluctant on letting me in because of that little incident with Nuala's magic.

 

>Apparently she never did that before, not even once during the months she's been interned in there.

 

>The Nurse didn't know how to call it, she wanted it to be 'progress' because she actually reacted to an external stimulus. But the other side of it was that she used her Magic.

 

>Potentially dangerous Magic.

 

>The kind of 'dangerous' that could actually make her wear a straightjacket and a mask, along with a twenty-four hour Monitoring Team and Magic Nullifier Devices.

 

>I kept insisting to see her.

 

>I wanted to see her so baldy, just to catch a glimpse of her. And hope that maybe she could go back to her old, cheerful self…

 

>Thankfully that Old, Jaded Nurse has a heart. And by her grace I'm allowed to see my Nuala.

 

>It was so selfish to call her mine… But she did give me half of her heart after all, something that i didn't deserve.

 

>So many hours i spent sitting alongside her, sometimes in silence, sometimes with memories rushing on my mind.

 

>Her smile, the little shyness she showed when handing over her little gifts. Those gifts that i tossed aside… In dumb and blind paranoia.

 

>To think that she tried to kiss me so many times and i refused every single one of them. The times when she 'accidentally' bumped on me or brushed her hand against mine.

 

>Those bolder times when she tried to hold my hand under the table on the Committee room or our classroom.

 

>And every single one of those times i refused. Brushed her aside. Tossed her away like an old rag.

 

>Those little moments i regretfully didn't treasure at the time. I just thought they were creepy and her advances could mean jail for me…

 

>How stupid i was. No, how stupid i am.

 

>I try to warmly smile at Nuala while sitting on a stool directly facing her.

 

>but she just kept ignoring me.

 

>She wouldn't even acknowledge my presence…

 

>In a way, she did the same i did to her. Ignored me.

 

>But strangely enough i didn't lose my resolve.

 

>I kept visiting her several times every week.

 

>And of course, every time she told me to go away, i did so. I didn't want her to use any Magic again. I didn't want to cause any more damage than i've already caused.

 

>As weeks passed, she got her bandages removed… Leaving an unsettling reminder of the damage i had done.

 

>A large horizontal scar across her neck. Faint burning scars on her left arm and the left side of her face. I was terrified to see what i caused.

 

>Something so pure and beautiful harming herself because of a worthless person like myself.

 

>And her condition didn't improve at all, she remained catatonic.

 

>And the diagnoses weren't good either. No improvement on anything. Sometimes the Nurses had to feed her intravenously because she wouldn't move at all.

 

>I, however, never lost hope.

 

>As time passed, her get-well gifts began to gradually dwindle. Until none remained. Boro and i were the only ones who visited her, along with her Family.

 

>One day in my apartment i get a visit. Unexpected i guess, since my only friend is Boro.

 

>It's actually her, i saw no motive on her visit, but i just let her in anyways. She seemed restless, just like i did.

 

>"I know what you're doin'…" She says with a solemn tone. "I won't stop ya, however. I know that's futile, you're as stubborn as a Mule. And I'm a little happy with it', Kovac. I think… I think it's cute."

 

>We silently sit on the same couch. I sort of came to accept Boro as a girl now… But kept treating her like my bother. It was strange thing, really.

 

>"I miss her, Kovac. I'm beginning to lose hope… Who knows for how long she's gonna be in there…" She says as her eyes begin to water up.

 

>I reach her far shoulder and pull her closer to me, she begins to cry as i embrace her. I give her a few pats on the back in reassurance.

 

>I didn't cry. Maybe my tears did really dry up after all. But the crushing dread and sadness never left me.

 

>I look at the Nualas that are now sitting around us, one besides me and one besides Boro… They look like my old Nuala, no scars and her beautiful face is in pristine condition. They both look at me while bearing a blank expression.

 

>I've also come to accept my hallucinations. I barely pay any mind to them. Perhaps it's the willpower and the hope of seeing Nuala getting better what keeps me from going insane.

 

>"I'll never stop visiting her, bratan. Even if they send her to a more secluded ward, even i grow old and tired, I'll never stop visiting my Nuala. I owe her that and i hope that one day I'll be able to repay her. And that she will forgive me."

 

>Boro kept wailing with her head buried on my chest. Wetting my shirt.

 

>A reminder that i have to be strong. Strong for Friends, for myself and my Parents. Even if the latter don't know a thing about my predicaments, i didn't want to worry them with my mental state.

 

>It's getting late, and Boro's visit comes to an end. Before leaving she thanks me. Perhaps she needed some emotional support after all.

 

>Afterwards, i lie down in bed, staring at the ceiling. It didn't move, but there was a Nuala looking at me from above. This time scarred and with the white gown she's now wearing inthe Asylum. She kept floating around the room, never taking her eyes off of me.

 

>Closing my eyes, i hope for a night of tranquil sleep.

 

>"As long as she's in there, I'll keep visiting… I miss my Nuala."

 

>I changed back to my old 12-C section a little while after i began visiting Nuala. My old class. Even though they didn't allow me to change back into that class at first, i felt as if i 'belonged' there. So i kept insisting and pestering the Principal. Eventually he resigned and i went back 'home'.

 

>Well it was just Boro that made me feel that i belonged there. She laughed when she found out that i pestered the Principal so much that he resigned. Left him little notes in his car and office a-la Nuala

 

>I really didn't give a shit about anything back then, it's as if Nuala had completely changed me. I got bolder and a little reckless. You could say she made me a man.

 

>Made me realize that life was something one should appreciate. So in my twisted worldview, that made me a little bolder. But just a bit.

 

>Strangely enough both Hannah, the Danuki, and Jana, the stupidly busty Holstaurus, were happy that i was there. Perhaps Boro told them of my predicaments. And they sort of got closer to me.

 

>With Jana being a little too closer. Hit on me a few times and actually asked me to be her boyfriend. I of course politely turned her down, my heart belonged to someone else after all.

 

>She took it very well. Called me a very sweet guy for it and almost broke my back with a crushing hug, smothering me with her breasts and all.

 

>Yeah she's very sweet too, but none's sweeter than my Nuala.

 

>Eventually the day of my graduation came

 

>The graduation wasn't so bad. Mama and Papa were there, proudly looking at his son wearing an over sized black gown and a funny hat.

 

>Boro tightly hugged me in my graduation photo. I would've called her a fucking disgusting peder for that… But i guess it would've felt wrong.

 

>She also seemed to have 'developed'. No idea how the fuck that worked, but her thighs and ass got meatier along with her breasts. She didn't look like a washboard anymore.

 

>I guess she was happy with whoever it was that she was dating. Or perhaps she was getting gangbanged by her disgusting cousins. None of my business after all, but i indeed was happy for her.

 

>All i cared was that she was my friend, and was very supportive of my situation. Like a shoulder to cry on.

 

>Mama and Papa teased me about my photo. Asked if i was dating that 'cute wavy-haired Demon Girl'.

 

>I just laughed and told them that i wasn't and they had no idea who she was. They shrugged and laughed along.

 

>And they also laughed, along with Boro, Jana and Hannah, when i snuck in and scribbled my name in the Honor's list. Got a stupid medal, diploma and all.

 

>Of course my grades were complete shit, but at least i had style. The new principal wasn't too happy about it, but they weren't going to see me again, so i didn't care much about it.

 

>Nuala also happily laughed from the distance, among the crowd. I think she was proud of me, or at least that's how i wanted her to be.

 

>Happy, even though she was a hallucination.

 

>It's been a year since Nuala has been interned into the Saint Stefan Psychiatric Hospital.

 

>And it's also been a year since my life took a strange turn.

 

>I graduated from the Dobrovic Institution of Educational Formation, my School, almost four months ago.

 

>I was ready to be thrown into the world. Yet again.

 

>I remained in Chernogorod. Wanted to live in there and my parents still sent me a monthly income that allowed me to live as comfortably as i could.

 

>It didn't feel right to leech off of them, but they willingly maintained me and i did my best to make that money last.

 

>Immediately after my graduation, i took a test at the Public Engineering Institute of Chernogorod to study Electronics. I figured out in the case of an apocalypse of sorts, being able to build and maintain Electronic Devices would be a good skill to have.

 

>Still the good old stupid paranoid.

 

>I somehow got in, but couldn't concentrate and my grades were terrible. I was already thinking about dropping out on my first semester.

 

>Of course i remained a little depressed during that whole time. There wasn't a single day where i didn't think about Nuala.

 

>In fact, i thought about her most of the time.

 

>One day, checking on my things. That little shelf with Nuala's gifts to be more specific, while nostalgically looking at the little love trinkets she had made for me, i see her Heart. Well, the other half of her heart…

 

>I never carried it with me, fearing that I'd lose it. But perhaps i could begin to use it as a lucky charm of sorts…

 

>I really missed her. A lot.

 

>That day, i decided to pay her a visit.

 

>At this point everyone stopped visiting Nuala. Even her parents had stopped coming, Boro only went once every several weeks.

 

>But i never lost hope and diligently visited once or twice a week. All at random. Couldn't let anyone know about my schedule.

 

>She was eventually moved to the third floor, a more secluded area. I had no idea why, perhaps that's where they threw all the broken people that almost everybody forgot about.

 

>I also brought flowers every week, for her. Couldn't stand how bleak and lifeless her room looked.

 

>And i also had no idea how i could stand looking at her in that state.

 

>During a whole year she hadn't improved at all. Remained catatonic, lost some weight… Her scarring remained the same.

 

>But i found comfort in being there for her, always rooting and telling her to get better. She always responded with a 'go away' or a 'you are not real'. But i got used to those…

 

>And also, some of the staff got to know me. Jorji Costava… Head Nurse Biljana, the Old, Fat Nurse. Chedomir, the day shift Guard. And Draga, the cheerful receptionist.

 

>I was actually forbidden from entering Hospital grounds and Nuala's Parents also placed a restraining order on me, not allowed to be near Nuala… Perhaps they thought a stupid law would stop me… But that was all done a year ago, they probably did so for her treatment or something.

 

>Well, anyways, as usual i greet Chedomir and everyone along the way… They don't even need to guide me, so i just take the elevator into the third floor. Oh yes, i also got access to that sweet, old as shit elevator.

 

>Room 337… Nuala's new room since a few months ago.

 

>I knock three times on the door. Hoping that maybe, just maybe she'd yell 'Come on in!'.

 

>Of course there was no response.

 

>Room's filled with the smell of the flowers i brought in several days ago. They're still lush and they actually last quite some time. Perhaps it's some weird Fey affinity Nuala has with nature or something. She's a Fairy after all.

 

>As usual, i sit right besides her. She doesn't acknowledge my presence, always blankly staring at nothing…

 

>I 'chat' with her a little bit, it's more like a monologue. I like to think Nuala's a really good listener.

 

>Today seems different, though.

 

>I… I have a strange feeling on me this time.

 

>During all these months, this is actually the first time i brought that small, chiseled green stone with me. Half of her 'Heart'.

 

>What if?… I eagerly search my pocket for that little trinket.

 

>I hold it with my left hand and and stare at it a little bit. It's just a normal stone… But perhaps if i…

 

>I extend my left arm right in front of Nuala… My palm open, the Other Half of her Heart resting on it.

 

>…

 

>No response…

 

>Well, at least i tried.

 

>Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes i try to think of a way to free Nuala from this state.

 

>That's when something i thought impossible happened.

 

>Somebody grabbed my hand.

 

>Opened it and took the stone out.

 

>I open my eyes and see Nuala besides me, she's trembling. Her hands are shaky and she's holding my piece of heart with her right hand…

 

>Her eyes wide open.

 

>She then searches under her pillow and takes out the other missing half.

 

>Still shaking, she holds them very close… A sad frown appears on her face as a little tear rolls down her faintly scarred cheek.

 

>She finally unites them.

 

>Looks to the side in disbelief… And makes eye contact with me.

 

>Those two beautiful purple gemstones deeply gazing into my eyes… Just as they used to do so long ago…

 

>She begins to breathe heavily and her eyes begin to water.

 

>"Y-You… Y-You are… R-Real…"

 

>I'm speechless, joy fills my whole body.

 

>Looking at Nuala in that lifeless state for so long, i just couldn't believe it.

 

>I thought i had finally gone mad, but then, Nuala begins to grab both of my hands

 

>"I-I Cannot believe it… I-It really is… Y-You…"

 

>Tears begin to roll down her cheeks as she touches my face.

 

>"B-But it is not possible…"

 

>She then moves down my shoulders.

 

>"I-Impossible…"

 

>Nuala gets her face closer to mine, sniffing she takes a whiff of my scent.

 

>"B-But… You hate me. Y-You hate me…" She breaks down in tears. "Y-You hate me!"

 

>"Nuala, I'm so sorry… I-I…" And i too begin to cry. "I hope… I hope you can forgive me. For the horrible things i've done to you…"

 

>She's a wailing mess, her cries echoing through the room.

 

>"N-Nuala… I missed you so much. I… I love you. I love you Nuala. I miss your smile, your eyes… Your gifts and… P-Please forgive me…"

 

>Her cries suddenly stop and she looks directly into my eyes… Afterwards she wraps her arms around me and rests her head on my chest. Crying back again and tightly hugging me.

 

>"Nuala… Please forgive me. I-I hope you can forgive me, for everything i did to you. I'm an idiot… I… I didn't deserve your love and your dedication."

 

>She stares at me in disbelief. Unsure on what to do.

 

>After a moment, she gives me a truly heartwarming smile. I'm filled with joy and bliss to see that smile back again. So long i've waited for it.

 

>"M-Mr. Anon… I… Love you too. E-Ever since the first day i saw you. E-Ever since our bodies connected… I pledged my eternal love to you… I forgive you. Perhaps i was a little too assertive… B-But it no longer matters. I-I love you, it fills me with joy to hear those words from you… I love you, I love you… I love you. I love Anon Kovac. I cannot believe this is real… P-Please tell me this is real. P-Please tell me that the nightmares are over. E-Even though they are still present, you alone are like a ray of light shining in the darkness."

 

>She then grabs my shoulders "Please tell me you are real!"

 

>That's when i decided to show her how real i was. I cupped her cheeks on my hands, feeling the softness of the right one and the little roughness her scarring left on the other one. I pull myself closer… And connect my lips with hers.

 

>Our tongues danced together. Our third kiss. The first one was unintentional… The second one, unwanted. But this one…

 

>This one was the consummation of my love. Of all the pain and sadness i had endured to see her normal self back again.

 

>I viciously and voraciously kissed her. She lightly moaned quite a few times. I was so happy for this moment.

 

>When we finally pry out, her cheeks begin to blush, looking at me with a wide smile. "Goodness Mr. Anon… It really is you. I… I cannot believe it!"

 

>I grab both of her hands and tightly hold them. "Believe it. It's me. I've been waiting for this moment for so long. I… Missed you so much Nuala. E-Everyone did. I can't wait to tell Boro about this!" I tell her with excitement.

 

>"B-But… Where am i really? Wh-What is this horrible place i have been trapped in this whole time? It looks so unclean… The walls seeping with black ooze and… That foul smell… A-And everyone here looks just like you do. But they laugh and mock me. Call me out on my failures… On my…"

 

>She begins to frantically touch her face, feeling every corner of it, then she proceeds to her neck. And takes a good look at her left arm. All scarred… "A-Are you dead too?"

 

>Tears begin to roll down from her cheeks again, but these weren't tears of joy. They were made of sadness and despair. "Y-You… Y-You ended your life too? I-It makes no sense… You should not be in the same horrible place as i am."

 

>I pull her closer for a hug. My tears wetting her white gown… I can't believe it. She's been suffering during this whole time. With the same horrible kind of hallucinations that i had.

 

>Tightly hugging her, i respond while sobbing and sniffing. "No, you're alive. As much as i am. And I'm going to help you recover in any way i can…"

 

>After reassuring her that she can always count on me, i look directly into her eyes and i find myself lost in their beauty. "Nuala… You've been interned into a Psychiatric Hospital. One year ago."

 

>Her body goes limp and it seems like she's about to pass out. I try my best to keep her awake,  gently shaking her delicate body.

 

>She looks at me with a combination of fear and disbelief. "B-But i should not be alive, Mr. Anon… I saw all the blood… Felt the electrical power flowing through my body… Goodness, my tortured soul must look so horrible…"

 

>"You are alive!" I tell her with a wide smile "I never inquired how it happened because i knew it'd break my heart even more… You are as beautiful as the first day i saw you. And… You're alive! That's all that matters to me… I couldn't be happier right now. Nuala. My… My love."

 

>It was hard to accept such fate… She was reluctant and questioned what i said. But after an hour or so of explaining, Nuala seemed to understand that she was at the brink of madness. And i was there to help her in any way i could. No matter how long it could take me, i would there to close her wounds and keep them that way.

 

>And so, i filled her in. She was so proud of me, for my graduation. She scolded me a little bit for my very low grades, but it didn't matter. I was so happy to finally talk to her again. To see her smile and laugh.

 

>She also told me of the pain she had endured. Half conscious in the operating table, as if she were being tortured. My poor Nuala lost consciousness and the sense of time… She thought only a few weeks had passed. How those horrible hallucinations of me mocked, laughed and insulted her… How she looks her surroundings as a fetid cell…

 

>It deeply pained me to know all of that. To know how much she has suffered because of me.

 

>But i found comfort in her forgiveness… and strangely enough how similar both of us are. I knew exactly how to help her. How to overcome those fears and the horrible dimension she was now trapped in.

 

>I must've talked to her for quite a few hours, as the sun was beginning to set. And so, it was time for me to leave. I had completely forgotten that i should tell a Nurse about her sudden progress.

 

>"Nuala… I have to go. It's actually past visit time and… And i have to tell a Nurse that you're conscious! P-Perhaps they'll even let you free in a short while too!" I told her with excitement.

 

>She however, wasn't so happy about it. Her eyes begin to well up as she throws herself over me "P-Please Mr. Anon do not leave me alone. I… I do not want to be alone again… I need you. I need your presence. P-Please do not leave in this horrible dark place…"

 

>I warmly smile at her, patting her head i respond with reassurance "I've been visiting you for a year now. Every week that passed, i would diligently come at least once. I'm not going to leave you ever again, i promise. But i have to tell Miss Biljana of your progress."

 

>She then quickly reaches for a pocket and takes out the stone heart, giving me the left half. The one i always carried. "H-Here… This way i will always be with you, and know it really is you… Please come back to me as soon as you can. I will be eagerly waiting for you, my love!"

 

>She gives me a goodbye kiss, as if i were to leave her side for a long voyage…

 

>That's when i eagerly rush downstairs, for the elevator was too slow. In the second floor i related to Nurse Biljana of Nuala's progress. How she snapped out of her catatonic state and actually looked at me for once.

 

>With surprised smile on her face, she calls a crew of doctors with an old intercom. Summoned them into the third floor, room 337.

 

>And by the time we reach the room, there's four men in lab coats surrounding Nuala.

 

>She, however, seemed to have gone back into her catatonic state… Blankly staring at nothing and not responding to the Doctor's questions…

 

>From the door's threshold i shout "Nuala, it's me! T-Tell the Doctors you're fine now!" But it's futile.

 

>I try to step inside but I'm stopped by both the Nurse and the crew of Doctors.

 

>They tell me it's best that i left. Nuala's in a critical state and she doesn't need people shouting. That they were going to monitor her for the next twenty-four hours and that i should leave…

 

>To leave her again…

 

>I tried to tell them that i could help her snap out. I tried to tell them that she was actually suffering from hallucinations and that everything said to her sounded like a cruel mockery… I didn't even care about blowing my cover with this, i just wanted them to know that she was improving. I wanted to show them the trinket that helped her come out of her state.

 

>But they wouldn't let me do it.

 

>They wouldn't let me speak.

 

>In desperation i got a little rowdy, so they sent the guards on me. I managed to kick two into the ground, but they knew very well how to subjugate an enraged person… I was swarmed afterwards.

 

>Nurse Biljana apologized, told me that maybe i just misheard her say what i wanted her to say…

 

>That perhaps she actually reacted to an external stimulus, but she didn't do so afterwards…

 

>That maybe, it was just hope getting the best of me, making me see and hear things that didn't quite happen…

 

>The burly men guided me outside, and the Nurse told me to get some rest. They were going to take good care of Nuala and monitor her every activity.

 

>Defeated and enraged, i went back home. Hopefully thinking that perhaps Nuala would open herself again and tell the Doctors that she's fine.

 

>But then i remember the Nurse's words…

 

>What if she actually didn't say anything?

 

>What if i actually heard her say what i wanted her to say?

 

>Today was far too real to be a mere hallucination… Could it?

 

>That kiss, her tears wetting my shirt… Her gentle touch.

 

>That was very real. Or…

 

>What if i wanted it to be real?

 

>What if…

 

>What if I'm finally succumbing to madness?

 

>In bed, i ponder about the meaning of today as my bedroom gets filled with countless copies of Nuala.

 

>They all stare at me and laugh in unison…

 

>"Not real! Not real! NOT REAL!"

 

>"Not real! Not real! Not real!". They kept chanting in unison.

 

>It was deafening. I couldn't hear anything else…

 

>Those mocking laughs… Their empty eyes.

 

>I think… I think this is enough.

 

>"SHUT UP!" I shout, as hard as i could. Took the air out of my lungs and left my throat sore…

 

>Silence…

 

>Opening my eyes i see that all the Nualas are now gone.

 

>They're finally gone.

 

>I search my pockets and find that small chiseled stone. Tightly holding it, i mutter "I'll show them… I'll show them that you're cured. And they will believe me. I'm not crazy! Everything that happened today was real, I'm sure of it!"

 

>"I'M NOT CRAZY YET!" I shout. I could hear banging from the floor above, perhaps telling me to shut up.

 

>With this newfound resolve, i slowly drift away.

 

>That night i didn't have any nightmares. I actually slept comfortably, it's been so long since i had proper sleep.

 

>Nuala's smile brought me comfort. Made me sleep like a baby through the whole night.

 

>That night i dreamed of her, gently caressing my hair just like that one time at the Committee room…

 

>Morning arrives, it hasn't been twenty-four hours yet, so i decide to tell Boro. Personally. She will appreciate the good news for sure!

 

>Making my way through the shitty part of the city, i find myself in front of that abandoned lot where the gypsies made their disgusting squatter camp.

 

>Shady-looking men throw glances at me as i walk through the camp and when I'm almost near Boro's trailer, a man stands blocking my way, looking at me with a smirk.

 

>"So, what are you doing here, might i ask?"

 

>"I came to see Bora." I respond with a stern tone.

 

>The Man cackles and snorts "Oh, but to see the Great Diviner you must pay the toll!"

 

>Oldest trick in the motherfucking gypsy book. The toll.

 

>"But bratan, i already paid i!"

 

>"Mmhm?" He lifts his brow quizzically.

 

>"You see, i paid it yesterday and i paid extra too… After i fucked the whore you call a Mother!"

 

>Vicious cackles and laughs could be heard all over the encampment, and the man's furious expression was priceless. His face red like a blazing ember. But yeah, i knew that could spell trouble.

 

>Thankfully Boro was there to save my ass, she darted out of her trailer and gave the man in front of me the most shit-eating and patronizing smile one could pull off "Would you kindly fuck off, Laszlo? I don't like it when people charge 'toll' to my friends."

 

>And so he did, Boro grabs my hand and guides me to the inside of her trailer… You know, i've known her for almost two years, and this is the first time i ever set foot on her 'house'.

 

>It's strangely well kept, adorned with rugs and the smell of incense… It's very 'mystic'. But the compliments can wait for later… For i must tell her the good news.

 

>I eagerly sit down on a couch and before she could even open her mouth i excitedly tell her "She talked to me! Sh-She reacted. Sh-She saw me, we chatted for a long time! A-And…"

 

>"Slow down bratan!" She says with a smile. "You look like you're about to pass out!"

 

>Indeed i felt a little lightheaded. I began to tell her how she reacted to that one little trinket she made for me, how much we talked… And how i kissed her. And then… How they wouldn't let me speak and show them that she indeed was progressing. How i beat up those two guards and… How she somehow jumped back into her catatonic state. The hallucinations she had, everything. I was so excited i jumped from part to part, sometimes missing details and going back to retell them.

 

>Boro gave me a hug and a few pats in the back "Now, now, bratan, you must take it easy. Don't rush, ya don't want them finding out who you really are!"

 

>Indeed it was time to take it easy. Today was a new day and i could show the Doctors how wrong they were yesterday, if Nuala already didn't do that by her own.

 

>"Now, I'd suggest you to go tomorrow. I know the kind of tests they do and the monitoring is pretty long, as i was there when the Doctors monitored her condition a year ago when she was still recently interned… I don't think they'll let you in today… So please, listen to me and don't be the stubborn mule that you are." She places both of her hands on my shoulders. "First things first. Apologize to the staff. Second, don't lose your mind… She needs you sane and rushin' things won't help her at all. Let the Doctors do their thing, hopefully when you come back, she'll be out of it. Fourth, If she… For some reason still hasn't broken from her state. Don't panic. Show her that pretty stone again, maybe she'll recognize you! Calmly tell Miss Biljana that you know how to do it. Make her understand and show her that you can make Nuala snap out of it. Rushing things head-on won't solve nothin', like you just did today."

 

>She then gets closer to me "And speaking of it… Fifth, don't call my Aunt a whore. She's a nice Lady."

 

>It felt nice to finally leech off of Boro's stuff, we shared some beverages and hanged out at her place. Pretty comfortable, yes. I mostly talked about Nuala that day, with excitement and Boro heard each and every word with a smile and a silent nod…

 

>And when it was finally my time to leave, Boro stops me right at the door, placing a hand on my shoulder "Now, Kovac. Please be patient as you've been during this whole time. I wanna see her too, but i don't think I'll be able to for the rest of the week… Sadly i work now and… Yeah, schedule's pretty damn full. Just promise me you ain't gonna rush things, alright? Do it for her, bratan."

 

>With a silent nod, i hug her and take my leave. Immediately leaving for my apartment.

 

>I had no idea what kind of gypsy Demon magic she used in me. But her words were strangely prudent and wise… Perhaps…

 

>Perhaps i should actually heed them for once.

 

>Back in my apartment i couldn't set aside those thoughts. The thoughts of Nuala interacting with me.

 

>Those hours we spent together. I didn't care if it was real or not. I knew in my heart that they were real, and that she was there waiting for me. In the dark and foul dimension where she suffered so much.

 

>I spend the whole day going back and forth around my place, watching tv, using the internet, eating. I was restless and eager, i wanted to see her again. So eager that he hours felt like days.

 

>And night finally came, strangely enough i hadn't had any hallucinations today. Perhaps the comforting thoughts of being with my Nuala helped keep my mind at ease.

 

>I hoped that she somehow snapped off and began chatting with the Doctors, like her friendly self used to be.

 

>A man can hope and also lose said hope over the passing of time.

 

>I, however, never lost mine.

 

>Finally the next day came.

 

>Last night i dreamed of Nuala again. This time she made me dinner and both of us had a nice chat. Quite pleasant.

 

>I stop at a small kiosk to buy some fresh flowers for her, she's gonna appreciate those, I'm sure. A bunch of roses and lilies. Pretty expensive too, but I'm not tight on money as Papa always sends me surplus MREs and i have already saved up lots of money anyways.

 

>Finally arrive at the Hospital, I was a tad nervous. On my way i wave at Chedo and Draga and make my way to Nurse Biljana.

 

>Thoroughly apologizing with her, i told her that i got a little too excited with what i saw. The guards i beat up were also there, so i apologized too. All was good, they seemed to understand my predicaments.

 

>Nuala's situation, however, didn't improve at all. They actually doubted my words… As the monitoring team that was assigned yesterday got nothing off of her and she remained in her catatonic state…

 

>It was such a shame, but, perhaps i could help. I could really help this time.

 

>Filled with determination, i head to Nuala's room.

 

>She sits in bed as always, blankly staring at nothing.

 

>Closing the door behind, i slowly approach her. Holding the symbolic piece of heart in my open palm.

 

>Slowly extending her hand, she grabs it and looks at me in disbelief yet again

 

>Throwing herself over me in tears she wails "M-Mr. Anon what took you so long?!" She sobs quite a few times afterwards. "Th-Those horrible copies of yourself insulted me… Mocked me for s-so long! Th-They would not stop!"

 

>I tightly hugged her, patting her head "Those were the Doctors, Nuala. They were very worried about your condition… And came to check on you."

 

>On my embrace, i try to calm her down. She seemed to be very affected by my absence and i wouldn't blame her… It was also my fault.

 

>That's when i remembered i also brought her some flowers. I tell Nuala to close her eyes and wave the small bouquet in front of her nose.

 

>She took a long whiff at their scent. Finally opening her eyes, she gives me the sweetest smile anybody has ever given me. "F-For me?" She says with some tears still pouring down and her eyes shining with happiness. "M-Mr. Anon you are so… S-So lovely. Thank you.". Wiping some of her tears, she adds "I have seen flowers in this room, b-but… They had a horribly foul stench… A-And i always ignored them, made me feel uneasy. But these ones, Mr. Anon, these ones are so lovely… I like flowers so much…"

 

>With that, i wipe some of her tears with my hand and she proceeds to give me a hug.

 

>We both sat down for a long time, Nuala began making a crown with the flowers i brought her. By the time she finished, she placed it on her head. It looked beautiful, but even more beautiful was the happy smile that she gave me.

 

>She then came close to me and cupped her hands on my cheeks.

 

>Gingerly coming closer, she gave me a small peck on the lips.

 

>If this wasn't real, then i don't know what was.

 

>I embraced her for quite some time until i finally decided to tell the Nurse.

 

>I explained Nuala that i had to leave momentarily, but that I'd come back. She gave me my half of her Heart and a goodbye kiss. I reassured her that I'd come back shortly and that if i didn't I'd keep coming back to her no matter what.

 

>I also explained that a Nurse was going to come, that she had nothing to fear because i was going to be there. I told her that her mind made everyone else seem like me and hear everything as insult.

 

>She understood… And i knew how hard this was. It probably was tenfold worse than what i had the displeasure to experience for a mere hours a year ago.

 

>To to experience that every day, for over a year… Nobody deserved that fate.

 

>I finally left her room, Nuala looking at me with dreadful sadness as if i were never coming back again.

 

>Back on the second floor, i thoroughly explained the whole thing to Miss Biljana. Slowly, calmly and full of detail, just how Boro told me to. She accepted to come with me…

 

>So we head into Nuala's room and i tell Biljana to wait at the door. Nuala had switched back into her lifeless state. She, however, still wore that flowery crown. So i knew what i did was truly real.

 

>Slowly approaching Nuala, i show her the stone and she immediately reacts, grabbing my hand and giving me a hug.

 

>I give a thumbs up at Nurse Biljana, she looked with disbelief, as if she had seen a ghost.

 

>"Nuala, this is Nurse Biljana. She's here to help you…" I hold her while the fat Nurse slowly came closer.

 

>"Goodness gracious Mr. Costava, I'm truly impressed…" She said in awe. "This is surely great news!"

 

>Nuala however, wasn't so happy about it, as she constantly averted her gaze from the Nurse and held me tighter while trembling. Whenever she looked at Biljana, she did so with fear.

 

>I held her as tight as i could to reassure her that everything was alright. That i was there for her.

 

>The Nurse then began to ask her a few questions, but Nuala did nothing but to cover her ears…

 

>"Make him stop… Please" She muttered in fear.

 

>Upon hearing this, Biljana gave me a worried frown.

 

>I explained that her hallucinations made her see and hear everything as a distorted corruption. Voices sounded like hurtful insults and what not.

 

>Biljana then tried to reach for Nuala's hand, i told her that it was safe and that she wouldn't do any harm.

 

>Nuala agreed and let Biljana hold her hand.

 

>She immediately cringed and yelled in pain as the Nurse held her hand. Quickly taking her hand back as if Biljana had harmed her. And of course it was all in Nuala's mind…

 

>Biljana's frown deepened as she explained me that this could actually make matters far worse and could make her recuperation a little more difficult. All from her forty-five years of experience, patients like Nuala took years to recover.

 

>I was disheartened, but i didn't lose my hopes.

 

>Biljana told me that she'd summon a small crew of Doctors to perform a further analysis. And that i had to remain there because i was the only person Nuala responded too. She'd bring a Non-disclosure agreement along with a few other contracts for me to sign if i wanted to help Nuala.

 

>I obviously agreed upon that. But also got a little nervous about the legal implications of such things…

 

>Like my fake ID, for example, and whatever other legal loopholes were in those papers.

 

>But i was determined to help my Nuala.

 

>All of this I'd do for her sake.

 

>I spent the next hour sitting down in bed with Nuala snuggled up against me, resting her head on my lap.

 

>While i caressed her hair, i began to notice how peaceful her expression was. As if i was actually able to bring peace into that horrible world she was trapped in.

 

>And she never stopped staring at me, both of us silently gazed into each other's eyes… I truly found myself lost in the purple shine of her eyes.

 

>I could stay like this forever, but i knew it wouldn't last long. The Doctors and the paperwork were bound to arrive at any moment.

 

>However, the sight of Nuala eased my heart and all my worries melted away. Whatever kinds of paperwork i had to sign, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

 

>Because i owed her.

 

>"Thank you…" She says with a smile "I know that i am mad… And i know that i am broken. But i cannot help it. Fear invades me… Perhaps it is a primal response what i did with the Nurse and the other members of the Medical Staff, but i truly cannot help it… I cannot control myself."

 

>I pat her head and give her a reassuring smile. "I know exactly how it feels, Nuala. And I'm gonna remain with you through this whole ordeal"

 

>Nuala then nuzzles her head against my stomach and takes a deep breath "Your scent is still quite endearing… I… I never forgot about it."

 

>After spending the next few minutes in complete silence, i break it by asking Nuala a question that's been floating in my mind for quite a while. "Nuala, when we're done with this… Would you… W-Would you like to be together? Live with me, maybe… Sometimes i feel a little lonely."

 

>Nuala immediately hoists herself up, eyes welling up in joy, she silently nods while pulling me for a hug. "I will always be by your side, even if my body is not present, i will be in spirit."

 

>The reassurance of her tone made me even more eager to help her through this whole ordeal. Gave me more hope that when we were done with this I'd have someone to love me. Someone that deeply caring about me.

 

>And so, after waiting for another good fifteen minutes, Biljana informs the that the paperwork is ready for me to sign…

 

>Nuala bids me goodbye yet again, handing me the Piece of her Heart.. And i reassure her that I'll be back soon, yet again…

 

>The papers were less than what i was expecting. A mere five forms. Several non-disclosure agreements to keep me silent and a form that made me a little uneasy. Not making the Hospital responsible from any physical harm done to my person… Also none of them made me take any responsibility for Nuala's well being, perhaps that fell on her Family. Made me wonder if they actually cared about her to sign such things, IF the Hospital's staff made them sign anything like that.

 

>But i paid no mind. I was going to do whatever it took me to help Nuala. I signed them with the signature that appeared on my ID, the Costava one.

 

>After that, i noticed that i was completely surrounded by quite a lot of people. Several Guards, Handlers and men with labcoats. Some of them had those Magic Nullifier devices too.

 

>I just hoped they wouldn't hurt my Nuala.

 

>Taking a deep breath and trying to calm and compose myself, i go back inside the room. Alone.

 

>Strangely enough, before i even fished for the stone inside my pocket, i had her eyes on me. She knew it was me… Somehow. Smiling, she stood up right in front of me and grabbed both of my hands… Her slender and feminine figure stood a little taller than me, even without shoes. But i didn't care about such things.

 

>I tell her that people have come to check on her health, there was nothing to fear because I'd be with her during that whole time.

 

>Some of the Doctors came in, along with few of the handlers. Silently taking notes of her behavior.

 

>They told me to ask her a few things, as some sort of translator, along the lines of the nature of her hallucinations, her mood, any aches on her body.

 

>Nuala answered each and one of them, but with every question made, she grew a uneasier and jittery. Always avoiding eye contact with the Hospital's crew. And each time holding me tighter.

 

>"I am very scared…" She whispered. "They are so threatening, always saying hurtful things, retelling that horrible day… And my failures"

 

>I held her closer, trying to calm her down. But it seemed futile.

 

>They showered her with even more questions… And this went on for hours, i had no idea how much time had passed, but i could see the night through the barred windows.

 

>And then came the physical tests… Nuala cried in pain every time somebody touched her, from the harmless actions of taking her pulse or temperature.

 

>But that was nothing compared to what came afterwards.

 

>The blood samples, they somehow needed those.

 

>When one of the Handlers slowly came holding a syringe with a decently-sized needle, my poor Nuala just snapped.

 

>I tried my best to calm her down, i tried to gently caress her hair… But she wouldn't stop screaming at the Big Man who approached both of us.

 

>She dragged me to a corner of the room, and placed me behind her as if she wanted to protect me from a horrible monster.

 

>"Get away from us! Get away from him!" She angrily shouted at the top of her lungs. "GET AWAY!"

 

>I tried my best to hold her, to reassure her that the Man in front of us didn't mean any harm. But it was useless.

 

>Perhaps her hallucinations got too vivid and she already slipped into madness.

 

>Her body began to glow with a green hue.

 

>And so did the Handler holding the syringe, he tried taking a few steps back…

 

>The Man stopped moving as the syringe floated on its own and embedded itself on his neck. Groaning in pain when the whole needle completely pierced his neck.

 

>He then began to float up, and get slammed into the nearby wall several times. It was hard enough to hear cracking and popping coming from his body.

 

>It all happened so fast. Too fast.

 

>And all my attempts were in vane, i stood in front of her, held her hands, blocked her vision, shouted at her, but nothing could stop her rampage.

 

>And as quick as it happened, the Men holding the Arcane Nullifiers came in with the devices ready. A strange aura extruded from them as Nuala and the beaten Handler both fell limply into the floor.

 

>I helplessly watched how they tied her up while unconscious and other Handlers came in, rushing with a stretcher for the unconscious man lying on the floor, time appeared to be flowing with a quarter of its normal speed…

 

>Some handlers dragged me out and the whole team got inside the room.

 

>I was escorted into the lobby, Nurse Biljana talking to me with a worried frown.

 

>But her words meant nothing to me, they all came out distorted and deep.

 

>All of my thoughts were focused on Nuala…

 

>I knew what this meant.

 

>To know that she used Magic again…

 

>It meant that she was a dangerous inmate.

 

>It meant they were probably going to make her wear a straightjacket.

 

>It meant she was going to be put in solitary confinement, perhaps with no visitors allowed until her situation 'normalized'.

 

>Everything was going so well…

 

>I had hoped that things would perhaps have a different outcome.

 

>But it seems that nothing in this life ever comes easy.

 

>I spent some time sitting at the lobby, drank a few glasses of water they offered me. Nurse Biljana looked at me with a reassuring expression, her lips moving and only gibberish coming out of her mouth.

 

>I already knew what she was saying, even when i couldn't understand a word of what she said.

 

>"Nuala has gone mad and is well beyond the point of no return. She's a danger to herself and society. We will have to lock her up this time."

 

>That night i walked the whole way to my apartment. Silently. I couldn't think about anything else but Nuala. My poor and broken Fairy… Caged in Hell.

 

>And the visions returned. Many Nualas crawling along the floor, crying for my help.

 

>When i finally arrived at my place, i downed many of those magical pills that helped me keep my sanity… It's been a while since the last time i consumed them.

 

>I silently lied in bed, bloodshot eyes wide open. Blankly staring into the white nothingness of my ceiling.

 

>I couldn't sleep.

 

>The thoughts of Nuala still lingered within my mind.

 

>She didn't want to do that, did she?

 

>She would never harm a person… The only person she's ever harmed was herself.

 

>It wasn't her intention. To hurt that Man like that.

 

>I hope that Man is alright…

 

>That night, i didn't sleep at all. Perhaps in shock from today's events.

 

>I hoped that Nuala remained with me… At least in spirit.

 

>That night i didn't sleep at all

 

>My eyes painfully dried up many times from not blinking.

 

>I really couldn't believe what was happening.

 

>For Nuala to do such a thing, to harm a person like that. She wasn't on her right mind, all the anger and fear in her eyes…

 

>That's when i realized she was protecting me.

 

>She was trying to protect me, from whatever horrible hallucination she saw. And she wouldn't falter or step back.

 

>She was trying to do the same thing i failed to do.

 

>To protect her…

 

>I found myself lost in thoughts, so many ifs, buts and maybes

 

>After losing myself for so long, i glanced at my alarm clock, one of those old models that came with a calendar… I've been awake for more than 38 hours. I spent a whole day, unmoving, lost in my thoughts.

 

>The sun was beginning to come up when i darted out of bed. I had to see Nuala again, ignoring whatever awful things i might discover today.

 

>It took me an hour to reach the Asylum by metro and bus as it was rush hour.

 

>That's when i reach the gates, a fresh-looking Chedo stops me.

 

>"Anon Kovac!", my heart skipped a beat… "You're good, buddy. Fooled us for so long!"

 

>Chedo gently explained me that after Nuala's incident, her parents finally came right after i left. They haven't visited her in over two months.

 

>They inquired who i was, since 'Jorji Costava' didn't appear on any lists from our old school, and none of Nuala's acquaintances were named like him.

 

>After searching through the few videotapes from the cams i didn't manage to locate or slip around, made a thorough investigation and concluded that it was me, Anon Kovac. I've never seen them, but they knew who i was… Maybe for that restraining order to work you actually have to know who you're restraining.

 

>I was then truly banished from the Hospital, not allowed to go inside anymore and not allowed to see my Nuala. The Hospital decided not to press charges against me thanks to the fake signature and ID that i used to sign legal paperwork. Didn't want anu trouble.

 

>And perhaps because of the good nature of my actions, i somehow redeemed myself with the staff, but Nuala's parents weren't too happy about it.

 

>And about Nuala's condition… Chedo wasn't allowed to say anything, not that it helped because he had no idea. The man was just a poor outpost Guard.

 

>"But I'll tell you this, from what i've gathered with her Parents coming out and the other Doctors and Nurses. That poor Girl is worse than before… They got her into the fourth floor."

 

>That's the place where they send the really broken inmates. The 'dangerous' ones, the ones that no longer had any hope. Complete isolation.

 

>I just couldn't believe it, i couldn't believe that things got even worse.

 

>I somehow managed to drag myself along that forest road and reached the city.

 

>That's when i immediately called Boro, told her about the whole situation, about what had happened. She had no idea about it and as soon as our call ended she showed up a mere minutes later. Perhaps she was in the area or on her way to visit.

 

>Upon looking at me, she just hugged me. I think i was beginning to break… I must've looked so bad for her to have that worried frown on her face.

 

>My thoughts, however, weren't about my sake. They all were about Nuala's sake…

 

>Boro assured me that she'd immediately go and visit her, because i was denied to enter the place. She was also awfully worried about her. She was a good friend of hers too.

 

>She showed me to a cafe and made me remain there. I needed to rest and she was also awfully worried about me…

 

>I couldn't enjoy my meal at all, but i did drink at least five cups of coffee…

 

>Finally after two hours or so, Boro finally comes back to me. Rushing.

 

>That's when all of my fears where confirmed.

 

>Isolation wing.

 

>Straightjacket and mask.

 

>Pumped in tranquilizers.

 

>The mauled Handler did survive, but would have to do physical therapy. Both shoulder dislocated and a broken arm.

 

>However, that was nothing.

 

>Nothing compared with what Boro showed me afterwards.

 

>A recording from her phone…

 

>Even with drugs in her system, Nuala was restless. Crying and wailing, her screams echoed through the whole fourth floor and came out of the door that was supposed to be soundproof.

 

>"Please save me! Make it stop! Mr. Anon please, come back to me!"

 

>That's what she repeated, all over and over during the whole recording.

 

>To think that my heart could break even more…

 

>Without a single word i left Boro. She followed me for quite a while.

 

>I told her that i wanted to be alone, that i needed to be lone.

 

>With a worried expression, she hugged and told me that i had to remain strong. That perhaps i should forget about this and that maybe i had to move on with my life…

 

>But i wasn't ready for that. Not when there was still hope inside of me.

 

>I went back to my apartment, to maybe get some well-needed rest.

 

>I needed to remain strong… For Nuala and for myself.

 

>And i wasn't ready to give up. I wasn't keen on 'forgetting about it' or 'moving on with my life'.

 

>Not after how much i've suffered.

 

>After how much she has suffered. That had to stop. Nobody deserved a fate like that.

 

>There's only so much pain a Man can endure, that if you push him, kick him and hurt him so much and long enough, he'll eventually break.

 

>That day i reached that point.

 

>If Nuala couldn't be helped by the Doctors, then I'll have to be the one who helps her.

 

>I and I alone.

 

>That's the conclusion i had come up in my choleric mind.

 

>I knew Nuala wasn't on her right mind… But i wasn't either. One could say that the suffering we experienced was mutual.

 

>And her suffering only made me more determined to save her. Made me more obsessed with her.

 

>Perhaps as much as she was with me.

 

>Those laments i heard from Boro's recording echoed within my mind, quite literally.

 

>Everywhere i looked, there was a Nuala crying for help. Calling my name.

 

>Maybe i could also find peace if i saved her. I could also save myself.

 

>That's when i began formulating a plan. Right after i woke up.

 

>It's been almost a week since that day, since Nuala got into solitary confinement.

 

>A week of careful planning.

 

>I thoroughly cleaned Grandpa's Carbine and found out that the mere ten rounds on its magazine could be a hindrance…

 

>That's why i ordered a 75 rounds steel drum. Just for her, along with a few others that held 20 rounds. Modified her accordingly, removing the internal magazine.

 

>Those 75 rounds made her heavier, but that was shadowed by the weight of Nuala's suffering aching on my heart.

 

>And of course i couldn't help myself but to buy a muzzle break and a scope too.

 

>Obviously tested all of this at a shooting range, if it worked with crappy cheapo knock-off bulk ammo without jamming, it'd work with the military-grade shit Papa gave me. Those endless boxes of canned 7.62×39mm goodness, sadly i couldn't bring them all, but i was content of being able to bring a few cans. Surpassing a thousand rounds.

 

>She looked tacticool to say the least.

 

>I tightly packed everything i needed inside a big camo backpack.

 

>I wasn't planning on coming back anytime soon…

 

>I'd either die trying or successfully get my other half back together.

 

>It's finally come to this, to take the dust out of that one vintage uniform i had bought a few weeks prior.

 

>Lizard patterned camouflage. The kind of thing Paramilitaries and Irregulars have used for at least ninety years now…

 

>I however, wasn't part of anything. I was just a crazed idiot with an aching heart.

 

>Standing in front of the mirror, I take a good look at myself…

 

>How many offers i turned down from Papa, to join the Army with him. The sole thought of war made me uneasy. But i was somehow attracted by the whole 'mystique' everything military-related had.

 

>It kind of made me feel stronger, made me feel that i wasn't defenseless. As if i were drawing the courage from the countless Men that perished wearing the same kind of attire that I am.

 

>No medals, no pins, no honor, nothing. All fueled by madness… And love.

 

>Shirt, Jacket, Vest, Pants, Steel-Tipped Boots, Gloves, Balaclava and Cap. All checked. I of course wasn't gonna go out with the Balaclava over my face.

 

>With all of this done, i board up my windows again and give Mama a call…

 

>"Hello, my little Boy!"

 

>"The Plum has fallen off the tree." I respond with a serious tone.

 

>"Hunh?" She exclaims in surprise.

 

>"And the Wolf has taken it."

 

>"I love you, my Boy." She responds a little broken.

 

>After this, i knew there was no turning back. They'd know that something had occurred and that i had to escape and it'd be faster just to use phone lines than make them deathly worried about my missing debriefings.

 

>Sometimes it wasn't so bad that my Parents were also a little paranoid… Perhaps i got the worst from both of them.

 

>After closing the water and gas valves, i take a deep breath and lock my apartment. Everything on me, backpack and two duffel bags, one of them contained my Polu Automatska Pushka M59, that old and battered Carbine, along with other things i packed up for my love.

 

>To think I'll probably never come back to this place… But it's for the best.

 

>I thought about my future already, nineteen years, horribly failing grades in college… And i wasn't clear about my career path. It was actually harder than i thought, to 'Have a boring life as a normal person' and 'Going to some shitty public college, having whatever job i could get and live a bland adult life', weren't that attractive anymore. Not with the huge impact Nuala has made on my life.

 

>That's also why i decided to do this…

 

>And so, i called a taxi. The poor man looked uneasy at my appearance.

 

>"S-So, uh… H-Hunting trip?"

 

>I let out a hearty chuckle, looking at Nuala who's sitting besides me "Yeah, hunting trip. For my love."

 

>Past the shitty part of town, i reach my destination.

 

>The Tolvaj Family Camp.

 

>That's where Boro lives, Boris Tolvaj. Bora now.

 

>The Driver looks even more nervous when he stops to drop me off.

 

>Perhaps he thinks I'm going to mug or kill him. Fearing for his life. But i don't intend to do such thing.

 

>Not today at least.

 

>After paying him a little extra, i enter that disgusting gypsy camp, several Nualas tagging along with me.

 

>It's time for me to bid goodbye to my good friend and to be picked up by my fellow perpetrators.

 

>Yep, perpetrators.

 

>Boro and her cousin Laszlo are already waiting for me…

 

>"Brought the money?" The lazy-eyed Man bluntly asks.

 

>Boro nudges with her elbow "Manners…"

 

>"H-Hello Kovac." Laszlo responds like a scolded kid.

 

>I pass him one of my duffel bags, "Thirty million. I think you should invest it in silver since it's been going up for quite a while, ever since the gold crash, but it ain't my problem how you spend your share."

 

>Both Boro and Laszlo look at me with eyes wide-open, "Thirty million…". They both say in unison.

 

>"Yep, thirty. It's amazing what one can save up by cutting around the edges." I reply with a little pride.

 

>Every month my Parents would send some money for me to live. For two years i've only used ~30% of what they sent me, enough to pay my bills and enjoy a little leisure here and there.

 

>Being the visionary that i am, i saved up during that whole time. And as i didn't trust banks, i kept all of my money well hidden inside my apartment. No, it wasn't under the mattress.

 

>Of course this was only a fraction of it, i had to force myself to deposit some of it on my bank account. Perhaps if i ever came back, the interests that i get from it will allow me to have a comfortable life with my Nuala, along with all the money.

 

>What we accorded were twenty million, but i sort of felt generous, perhaps this little extra would encourage them to do their jobs right.

 

>Boro comes closer and gives me a tight hug, resting her head on my shoulder for quite a while. "J-Just be safe b-bratan… A-And don't kill anybody, please." She sobs.

 

>I give her a few pats in the back "Of course. These poor people were only doing their jobs, ain't their fault…" I take a deep breath and continue "I've got enough already by killing my poor Nuala…"

 

>Her embrace gets tighter and she gives me a smoochie on the cheek before prying off, with a chuckle i jokingly say "Fucking peder…", to which she also chuckles in response.

 

>"Well everybody, ya heard the man. No killing, if you do so, you ain't gonna get your share!" Boro shouts at the small group of Men gathered around. Yep, that's what i had planned. A little 'extraction' job, i just wanted my Nuala. I'd still do whatever it takes to get her, though.

 

>Ten of those men are coming with me. They'll be my Brothers in arms, so to speak. It's amazing to know the things a gypsy would do when you pay him enough.

 

>And so, a battered, old passenger van shows up. Most seats removed, re-purposed to cargo… That's my ride and getaway. After everyone's inside, Boro gives me one final hug, in tears she says "P-Promise me th-that… Both of you will visit me. I don't care when… B-But i wanna see her happy smile along with yours.".

 

>I silently nod with a smile and bid my goodbyes to my good friend and bratan, "Send Jana and Hannah my regards, just don't tell 'em where i went or what i did!", i hurriedly tell her before closing the back doors.

 

>Fate has some strange things reserved for people and i hope it smiles upon me today.

 

>We take off shortly afterwards, right when the sun is setting. Bet they won't see it coming…

 

>A kidnapping.

 

>Adrenaline begins to rush in eagerness and expectation as I'm riding inside that battered kraut van.

 

>Around me are my Brothers in arms, all from Boro's family, armed with old Zastava pistols, revolvers and rifles, also relatives of my good Carbine… Laszlo had a Skorpion, and the military model atop of that. I was kind of envious…

 

>However, all of this is just for intimidation. Our plan is to momentarily take over the Hospital.

 

>We'll do it impersonating Zeljko's Lions, an old Paramilitary group from around the First Contact Wars. A group that used to round up Demihumans and do all manner of nasty things to them.

 

>Just like how it was around those times. They stopped many menacing and fucked-up Demihumans, but also hurt lots of good ones in the process…

 

>One could say that we're going to play as the Terrorists today.

 

>I take a good look at one of the pictures i brought… Some good childhood memories with Papa, Uncle Grigor and his friends… Papa's always been a funny guy, always wanted to be like him when i was a little kid.

 

>Now… I just wanted to be myself.

 

>While I'm lost in thought, one of my companions, Fat Sandor, asks me "So, Kovac, how come if ya had so much money stashed 'round, why didn'tya donate it to the Hospital so they treated Nuala better or something, maybe even lookin' away at you bein' the real Kovac?"

 

>I honestly didn't know how to answer that… Maybe i was so fixated with her that i actually forgot about putting my money up to good use. Clouded judgement… Or another stupid excuse.

 

>That's when Laszlo jumps in and gives him an elbow blow in the gut "Shhhh you fuckin' P'Orc! Don't make him change his mind! Ya know i need the money!"

 

>"I'm just saying, Man. I have a conscience… And the guy's too young to be doin' these kinda things." He shrugs.

 

>Well that's a strange sight, a gypsy with a conscience. Had to be the second one… The first one being Boro.

 

>I'm a little grateful that Laszlo jumped in, though. I would've made a fool of myself trying to give an excuse.

 

>And so, on our way, i begin to tell them about the battle plan. Yet again, for the twelfth time this week.

 

>We'll refer to ourselves as Zeljko's Lions to not arise suspicions and make it seem as if they actually came back, just to mess up with Nuala's Parents a little bit. Laszlo will be with me at all times watching my back, he has better vision than everybody else because of his lazy eye and nothing escapes his sight, even if he looks kind of funny.

 

>Fat Sandor will stay outside and tie up the night-shift Guard, he's also fat like him which is a sort of stereotype with Guards, so if anyone comes they won't raise any suspicions, the camera right outside the outpost doesn't work and hasn't been fixed in a long time, so the Guard inside the hospital has a blind spot right in front of that outpost.

 

>I'll also cut up the telephone lines from outside and shut down the cameras inside… I basically know the place from top to bottom, another of those perks that come with paranoia. Possible escape routes, camera locations, Guard posts… Thankfully there weren't too many.

 

>Attila and his four identical brothers will round up people from the first floor, and tie up a few other Patients so we can also kidnap them. This will act as a diversion for the authorities to make it seem like we weren't there just for Nuala, we'll drop 'em off somewhere safe afterwards AND they probably won't talk because of their mental condition. Attila and his brothers also pretty big and fit, so the Handlers won't give them too much trouble.

 

>Stinky Zoltan and Arpad will round up the people from the second floor, there's bound to be a few Nurses and Handlers in there.

 

>The third and fourth floors are devoid of people, as they're reserved for the maddest inmates… Like my Nuala…

 

>And Vilem will stay in the car as he's our getaway driver. The guy used to drive cars in the underground racing scene.

 

>After we're done with this, I'll collect the security recordings. Don't want to fuck them up too bad…

 

>"Now, absolutely no killing. Just intimidation" I repeat with a stern tone. "And you will refer to me as the 'Lieutenant' and not as Kovac, don't wanna arise suspicions. We get in there, tie everybody up, get Nuala and a few other 'prisoners' and bail out. Understand? If you kill somebody, you won't get your share and it will be divided between your family or whatever Bora decides to do with it. ABSOLUTELY NO KILLING OR I'LL SHOOT YOUR KNEECAPS."

 

>Everyone nods at the same time.

 

>A few minutes pass and we're already at the forest road that connects the Asylum with the city…

 

>The van stops…

 

>"Good evening Mister, Got a delivery of tranquilizers and several other drugs, i need ya to sign these papers…" Says Vilem with heavily tinted sunglasses and a fake mustache.

 

>Everybody rolls their Balaclavas down to cover their faces…

 

>Put the walkie-talkies in the same frequency.

 

>Sandor begins to slowly slide one of the van's doors, revolver in hand…

 

>The plan is now set in motion.

 

>This is the night when I'll rightfully claim my other half.

 

>MY BELOVED NUALA.

 

>Sandor presses the gun's barrel against the Guard's temple, and he immediately complies. Undressing and tying him up afterwards, he's shoved inside the small outpost house. Fat Sandor now takes the role of the night shift guard… I quickly get off and cut the telephone lines with some electrician pliers, located on a small unassuming box nearby.

 

>We're granted access to the insides by Sandor. Vilem waits for us already in runaway position.

 

>"Alright Men, remember the maps i gave you and your tasks. I'll go in first and announce ourselves, Let's do this!" I yell in excitement. Can't wait to hold Nuala's hands.

 

>All of us begin to run towards the big door that leads to the lobby…

 

>Jumping like a madman, i kick it open, sending many pieces of broken glass flying around.

 

>"This is The Balkan Resistance Volunteer Army, Zeljko's Lions! WE'RE TAKING OVER THIS FACILITY!". That's where i began to wildly fire my Carbine, aiming at the ceiling.

 

>The lobby was packed that night, most of the night shift people gathered there, sharing non-alcoholic drinks and pastries. It was a way to quell stress or something, and they did it every week.

 

>Not to my surprise, this sent everyone inside into panic. Some ran around, others just got on the floor. It was sort of funny to see people running around scared shitless.

 

>Smoothly enough, Attila and his brothers begin to round people and tying them up, while Laszlo and i went into the security room. And the rest did their respective tasks.

 

>That's when we get closer to the room, the Guard inside points his gun at me.

 

>I can't explain how the fuck i did it, but i swear i could see the very moment when he fired it, right at my head. I could see the blast and the smoke coming out of the barrel, along with a spinning bullet.

 

>And with some unexplainable madman powers, i immediately throw myself down and slide. Kicking the door open with the whole weight of my body.

 

>The Guard inside couldn't react quick enough as i began to use the butt of my good Carbine as a bludgeon, on his knees. And to an extent, the rest of his body. Something had overtaken me, perhaps it was all the pent up frustration.

 

>I'm stopped by Laszlo, "Thought you didn't wanna kill nobody!", he complained as the poor man lying on the floor writhed in pain. I must've broken a few things here and there. Laszlo quickly snatched the semi-auto off the man's hands and tugged it inside his pants, also taking his wallet and cellphone, a gypsy's gotta follow his instincts after all.

 

>With no idea how to operate the panel with quite the assortment of buttons, i did what any sensible madMan would do. Fired at it, with extreme prejudice. A few bullets ricocheted around the room but thankfully didn't hit anybody. The whole place was trashed afterwards.

 

>That's when we heard an alarm go off… And a commotion outside.

 

>Yeah, turns out the panel i just blindly trashed somehow controlled the cell doors too, as it was shown in a not-so-broken screen. All doors from the first floor up to the third were opened… Including the ones from the PTSD ward. Something i didn't want to do.

 

>That was a slight overlook from my part and i actually never been inside that security room…

 

>When we finally reach the lobby, there's a huge mob taking place between inmates and the few people Attila and company tied up with cable ties.

 

>Laszlo, being the smart Man that he is, began to wildly shoot his Skorpion at the ceiling, in hopes of calming everyone down.

 

>You can't just calm down a person with post-traumatic stress disorder, probably caused by the old version of who we were posing as, let alone those who are not quite Human… Like Lycanthropes and Werecats for example.

 

>That's when things got worse, the deafening screams, people curled up in corners and Demihumans trashing desks and scratching the walls with their clipped claws. Even when filed, they still retained some edge to them.

 

>As we make your way through the hallways, avoiding flying chairs, tables and Demihumans trying to jump on us, we see Attila and his Brothers cowering inside a room. They immediately snatch us inside. "What the fuck was that bratan?!" Complained Akos, the youngest.

 

>A slight mistake from my end, indeed… Annoyed and with no other choice but to push forward, we do so.

 

>Calling the rest through the walkie-talkies, i inform that there's been a small set-back and all rooms from the first to third floor were opened…

 

>The Brothers set up a barricade of sorts with tables, as the hallways that led to the elevator were away from the mob.

 

>Upon calling it, the doors open and we step in. Immediately and right from behind we're jumped by a very scared Weresheep, perhaps slipped past the Brother's barricade or came from the stairwell, she frantically begins to bash on the buttons while yelling "DOCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM! DOCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM! DOCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM!" all over and over.

 

>Laszlo subdues the poor thing in a whole body hug, we couldn't kick her out because the doors had already closed and the painfully slow elevator began going up… And down, maybe sideways too.

 

>Moments later i hear loud snoring coming from right besides me. Laszlo somehow had fallen asleep and the poor Sheep Lady shoved me to the side, resuming her wild button smashing like an arcade fighter. "DOCTOR WE HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM!" She yells from the top of her lungs.

 

>Suddenly the elevator stops… Just what we needed, the Sheep had broken it. I slap laszlo a few times until he wakes up.

 

>Thankfully, the Lady ignored us as she kept pushing those buttons and shouting her nonsense.

 

>And just as every elevator out there, this one also had a small trapdoor for emergencies.

 

>Making a foothold for Laszlo, i help him up so he can open the trapdoor. Giving me a hand, i climb up with a little effort and we both find ourselves inside the elevator shaft.

 

>Thankfully we're right near the second floor. Helping Laszlo again, he pries the doors open with a small crowbar he carried and climbs up. Taking a few steps backwards i gather impulse and grab the ledge.

 

>Outside we hear a commotion down the hallways, frantic screaming, breaking glasses. Before anything could spot us, we sneak down to the door that leads to the stairwell, only to find that it's barred from the other side.

 

>I knock on the door a few times and yell that it's us. I could hear Arpad's voice from the other side, he began to move the things that blocked it.

 

>And just right after he was done, we hear stomping coming down the hallway, a Holstaurus with a foaming mouth and tits that wildly bounced while dripping milk everywhere was charging right at us. She looked pissed.

 

>Quickly stepping out, all of us move a few desks and position ourselves, pushing the door so it doesn't pry open by the Mad Cow's charge.

 

>After a few bangs, she lets out a really deep and loud bellowing sound that sent chills down my spine, good thing she wasn't a Minotaur. Laszlo tells me to push forward, handing his beloved Crowbar to me, he'd help his cousin hold that door.

 

>He told me that no matter what, i had to keep her safe. Her precious Cili… His Crowbar. Many crimes he committed with her… She was as precious to him as my SKS-Chan was to me. Although my Carbine lacked a proper name.

 

>I got a little moved by his sacrifice and began to ascend, on the third floor i saw Zoltan doing the same as Arpad and Laszlo. He gives me a thumbs up and a nod, i keep going up.

 

>Finally reach the fourth floor.

 

>Devoid of life, not even the screams from below could be heard here.

 

>The only thing i could hear were the faint echoing laments of my beloved Nuala…

 

>"Mr. Anon, my love, where are you? Please save me!" She yelled all over and over, along with other calls for help. It broke my heart even more to know how much she has suffered ever since she was thrown into solitary confinement…

 

>Filled with determination, i run down the hallway until i reach her room… Room 476.

 

>"Nuala, hold on my love, I'm here!" I yell, but she couldn't hear me. Her screams must be really loud for them to go through a 'soundproof' door.

 

>I knew that at this point, our plan so to speak, had failed… The only thing left to do was to rescue my Nuala and bail out.

 

>Nothing mattered about it anymore and i supposed my squad knew this too.

 

>Slinging my Carbine around my back, i slam Cili into the small space between the door and the door-frame. Many times until i had carved a good place to jam her in.

 

>With all my strength, i begin to pull. Steadily and unwavering.

 

>I hear a loud crack and the metal door bends.

 

>With more uneasy metallic sounds, i finally pry the door open with a loud bang. From my own unmeasured and wild force, i lose balance and fall on my butt, sliding into a corner.

 

>Her deafening screams drilling deep into my eardrums, i slowly hoist myself up…

 

>"Nuala, I'm here!" I yell in excitement, running towards her room, with Half of her Heart already in hand.

 

>And there she is, my beloved Fairy.

 

>Cowering in a corner like a poor, scared animal.

 

>She's wearing a straitjacket and… A mask. Like the one that Lithuanian psychopath used to wear in that ancient movie.

 

>She looks at me in confusion. "M-Mr. Anon is that you? I-Is it really you?", her voice broken, ready to cry.

 

>"I am, i've come to save you…" I respond, taken back by her pitiful sight. This had to stop and i was right there to ensure she'd never suffer ever again.

 

>I quickly help her stand up and begin to cut the straps of her jacket and mask with a knife.

 

>When i finish, she quickly throws herself over me, making me fall onto the floor. With a tight hug, she nuzzles her head against my chest and begins to cry her heart out. Wailing and sobbing.

 

>There was no need for words at this moment. The two of us were finally reunited… But this wasn't time to declare victory, yet.

 

>I, however, was grateful that she recognized my voice. That she somehow was able to tell me apart from whatever other horrible things she saw. Even while wearing my Balaclava.

 

>And of course, i was also grateful for her love. Eagerly waiting for me, and crying for my help… It eased my soul that i now have a true opportunity of healing my beloved Girl. And perhaps myself too.

 

>After some minutes of mutual embrace, she looks up at my face, tears of joy still welling from her eyes. Smiling, she asks innocently "What is with the funny criminal mask, my love?"

 

>I couldn't help but to let out a hearty chuckle. I was a criminal indeed… With a smile, i respond with another question "Do you like the forest and the mountains? The rugged wilderness…"

 

>She looks a little downcast and perhaps nostalgic, with solemnity, Nuala responds "Yes… I long to see the beautiful and lush greens of Spring and Summer, the shades of orange Autumn has and the pearly whites of Winter…"

 

>"Nuala, would you like to come and live with me? Just like how i asked you before. But this time… This time i will take you with me. Right here and now."

 

>Her eyes light up and a big smile appears across her face "Yes! I would very much like it!"

 

>"But it will be just the two of us… In oneness with the wilderness. Nobody else to bother us… And sadly none of our Friends and Family to visit us." I hold my piece of her Heart with an open palm.

 

>She looks at it, a little taken back. Swiftly grabbing it, she unites it with her half. "As long as you never leave me again… Not even for a day… Not even for a few hours. I care not where you take me, as long as i get to be with you, my love.", taking her gaze up, she locks eyes with me "Yes… Take me away from this horrible prison. Take me with you."

 

>She then begins to roll up my mask, moving towards my face with pursed lips. She plants a soft peck on my lips and presses her forehead against mine… Her beautiful eyes staring deeply into mine, so close. Her warm breath caressing my face "My soul belongs to you, Anon Kovac… Yours, forever.".

 

>All the pain we've endured was right about to end. Smiling broadly, i stand up. Extending a hand to help her. "Well, then it's time now. We're finally leaving this place. You'll never see it again."

 

>Holding my hand, Nuala gingerly takes a few steps out of the room. Trembling a little bit, not from fear but from weakness. She has lost some weight and i suppose sitting immobile for long periods of time has taken a toll on her muscles. "Can you float?" I ask with concern.

 

>She tries her best and manages to stay airborne, silently smiling and nodding in reassurance.

 

>That moment i called everybody else. It was time to use our emergency escape route. A door that lead out of the basement into one side of the courtyard. Now that most of the security is down, it should be pretty easy to go around the place.

 

>All of our other plans failed the moment i fucked up with that one security panel, so we're ditching the part of kidnapping anybody else. I've already got my Nuala back and that's all that mattered to me.

 

>Nuala and i finally make it downstairs, she looks really scared, tightly holding me from behind. Who knows how her mind is registering all those maddened screams and shouts.

 

>And finally, we pushed forward into the basement. Avoiding a huge mob that almost caught us, we barred the basement's door from inside.

 

>Nuala seemed a little intimidated by the Men with masks and guns… What was odd is that she wasn't actually scared of them. That was until Attila rolled his mask up, Nuala began take cover behind me.

 

>Apparently, Nuala saw everybody as normal people when they had their heads covered. Brains work in the strangest ways, even Demihuman ones.

 

>I introduced them all as Boro's cousins, she was kind of glad to meet them all. She already had met Laszlo before and even recognized him after eyeing him up and down several times. I was a little happy to see that she could normally react to people as long as their heads were completely covered.

 

>And so, with no time to lose, Laszlo called Vilem. There was a slight change of plans, and the gypsies were going to steal most of the drugs stored in there… Loading them into the van.

 

>I wasn't too happy about it, as we've already done enough damage, but there was nothing i could do to stop them. And i honestly didn't care much, they've followed me this far and risked themselves, so i might as well allow them to plunder the place. We're criminals after all, stealing things is all part of the job.

 

>Nuala, however, seemed a little upset by the illegal nature of our activities, after Laszlo mentioned my almost successful kidnapping of Nuala. "M-Mr. Anon, i do not think kidnapping me and stealing whatever is stored inside those containers are righteous actions…", she looked cute with that frown and stern tone, waving her finger at me. Just as if she were scolding a child who had said a bad word.

 

>I had to apologize with her, explaining that it was the only viable way for us to be together. Her expression softened as her eyes began to well up again "Y-You… Y-You really are taking so many risks for me… Forgive me for my insolence, i-i–".

 

>That's where i cut her off with a kiss and a hug, i have really left everything behind just to be with her. Throwing a possibly normal and boring life away. And i guess she also almost threw her life away too, because for me… Also leaving everything behind.

 

>After the kiss, she silently stares into my eyes with a dreamy smile. Maybe already savoring all those moments we will enjoy together.

 

>And finally, the gang already plundered as much as they could.

 

>Thankfully the van was big enough to house us all plus Nuala and loot.

 

>We took off shortly afterwards, avoiding any of the inmates that were now freely prancing around the courtyards. Sandor lets us out and hops inside after making sure that no other inmates had escaped.

 

>I'm really glad that this whole situation went 'smoothly'. That meaning no deaths, at least from our part.

 

>My poor Nuala seemed a little uneasy at the presence of our guns. Tightly hugging me… And i was so glad to finally be there for her, to calm her down whenever she felt fearful.

 

>We speed out of that forest road and head Eastward, to the outskirts of Chernogorod and into the countryside roads… Everyone still wearing their Balaclavas to not scare Nuala, except Vilem, he couldn't afford to look suspicious while driving…

 

>Nuala tightly latched onto me during the whole trip, peacefully sleeping with her head rested on my shoulder and with a smile on her face… I couldn't disturb her peaceful slumber, even with all the bumps along the road and the laughs of the celebrating gypsies accompanying us, perhaps this was the first true night of sleep she had in a long time.

 

>After a trip of quite a few hours and after running away from quite a few police patrols, we finally reached our destination…

 

>Right at dawn.

 

>I've always been big on survivalism. You could say that my paranoia made me have a knack for it.

 

>Back before i moved to Chernogorod, i spent days with Papa in the woods. Most i spent were two weeks and that was during a summer holiday. Hunting, foraging, living like our wild ancestors did, with certain commodities of course.

 

>This time… This time it would be different. This is our home now.

 

>My gypsy friends left us well into the Romanian Carpathians. The perfect hiding spot: Slopes, high valleys and mountains, most of them being heavily forested and now accounting for more than half the country's surface. Virgin and wild…

 

>Getting all of my luggage, we both bid goodbye to my one-time ragtag band of fellow criminals. They changed their plates before leaving.

 

>They weren't so bad after all, just people like everybody else. Filthy, smelly and kleptomaniac people… But good company nonetheless.

 

>I take a good look at Nuala who now stands besides me, her straitjacket looks like a cute and over-sized nightgown… She hasn't taken her eyes off the horizon. A sea of green resting on the lap of high walls of stone.

 

>Maybe her hallucinations will never come back again while being in this beautiful place.

 

>I hold her hand while admiring the scenery… Her grip tightens and she looks at me teary-eyed "Thank you…". That's the only word she muttered before cupping her hands on my cheeks, deeply gazing into me… Her purple eyes shimmered with the sunrise. "From the beginning i knew that there was something in you… Something perhaps special, something i identified with… That is why i sought you, Mr. Anon, i knew that you and i were similar in many ways, i knew that there was more of you than meets the eye…"

 

>She then presses her forehead against mine "We are indeed two pieces of the same soul, that is why i made that keepsake for you. I am so glad to finally be with you… After all this suffering. I could feel it in you, too. Your aching soul… Because of my foolishness.". Nuala begins to cry shortly afterwards "I-I am wholeheartedly sorry… F-For all the pain i have caused you. My selfishness… M-My—"

 

>I cut her off with a long and sloppy kiss. Our tongues dancing together while her warm tears moistened my cheeks. We both break off several times to gasp for air, but continued for a long while… All of our suffering didn't matter anymore, we finally had each other. And the future was ours to take.

 

>I begin to unpack some of the things i brought for her. Just clothes and a pair of boots for now… I had no idea what Fairies wore aside from dresses.

 

>Thankfully, Boro knew her measurements for some reason and helped me pick some clothes that were both girly and useful.

 

>The excited look on her face when i showed her the clothes and underwear i had bought for her was priceless, like a child in her birthday with a wide smile across her face.

 

>She then begins to… Undress. With the utmost normalcy and naturality. I couldn't help but to profusely blush, her slender, delicate and feminine physique, meaty thighs and breasts that dangled every time she moved, along with her pinky and stiff nipples and a little cute patch of blonde on her crotch.

 

>Nuala looks at me while giggling, hands placed over her hips and still naked "Goodness, Mr. Anon why are you blushing so much?! We will be living together after all! There is no need to hide our shame from each other… E-Even…" She takes a look at her scarred arm, the faint scarring goes up to her shoulder, part of her back and then reaches part of her cheek, "Even our past mistakes…" She said that last part with solemnity and sadness.

 

>I naturally approach and give her a hug, her soft breasts pressed against my chest "You're as beautiful as the first day i ever saw you. Don't forget that.". After a small smoochie, she continues to get dressed up.

 

>Hiking boots, simple blue denim jeans, pink shirt and funnily enough she also picked one of the Lizard patterned camo jackets i had bought… She looks at me with a mischievous smile and a girly giggle "I can now play make-believe with you!".

 

>Her wings somehow came out from the back, bypassing the clothing and jackets… Which seemed a little strange to me. Fairy magic maybe, not something i should really be concerned with.

 

>I also bought all rations needed, soap and even some lady stuff for Nuala, she's a Lady after all.

 

>And i also brought lots of salted bacon and slanina, smoked pig's fat with paprika. She's lost some weight and we're both going to need that for autumn and winter. Other than that, camping stuff. Tightly packed inside my big bag and the smaller duffle bag. Which Nuala insisted on carrying, saying i shouldn't over exert myself with too much weight, she wasn't in the best physical condition, but she tried her best to help me.

 

>When she's finally done, Nuala tightly grabs my hand. I look into her eyes "So… I guess this makes you my Girlfriend now…"

 

>She chuckles in response "Our relationship now transcends that, my love… Y-You are my other half after all, Mr. Anon… If you would let me, i would like to include Kovac into my name… As it is in Human tradition."

 

>"But of course, by all means!" I reply with excitement. "What i won't let you do is to keep calling me 'Mister'. We're together now, Nuala, there's no need to be so formal with me."

 

>She blushes and looks down with a little shame "I-I am now Nuala Mistdew Kovac… Anon Kovac's proud other half…". After a short pause, she looks at me "And i love you…"

 

>"I love you too" I respond with a smile.

 

>And so, with map and compass in one hand, holding my beloved Fairy's hand with the other, we finally take off.

 

>We take off into our future, into a small forest trail.

 

>Both of us finally together and nothing will ever take us apart.

 

>Those two maddened lovers, that being so different were still far too similar.

 

>Away from this mad world and its people.

 

>Several days have passed. And i won't lie, they were very hard.

 

>Cold rains complemented by colder nights. Luckily we had each-other to keep ourselves warm.

 

>At first it seemed like it would be a tremendous task just to reach the place i had planned.

 

>A place several hundred kilometers away from civilization, not even park rangers went that far, according to my map, it's a valley almost entirely enclosed by mountains.

 

>Nuala's smile always kept me with high spirits, no matter how harsh the weather was or how cold and wet we were, she always looked at me with a broad smile.

 

>After traveling for more than a week, getting lost and back on track several times, we finally reached the place.

 

>Atop of a mountain pass, we both admire the valley down below. A sea of trees, both broad-leaf and conifers, surrounded by natural walls of stone. I could also spy the outlines of several waterfalls and creeks, along with several clearings in the forest down below.

 

>"Is this our new home?" She asks while holding my hand.

 

>I nod with a smile "A paradise of our own."

 

>I began to memorize the few landmarks that i could see. A small gulch in one of the creeks, the few waterfalls i could see and some crags here and there.

 

>Not wasting any time, we eagerly go down into the valley. The place was beautiful indeed and Nuala seemed to be very excited, curiously and enthusiastically looking around the whole place like a little girl.

 

>Setting up a small camp, for the next several days we begin to explore our new home, for a possible place to settle down… Most of the place was suitable, yes, but i couldn't just build a hut. Not even under the trees, i couldn't risk ourselves to be found out by a passing plane or a curious hiker.

 

>That was on our fourth day of exploring that Nuala found a cave. Perfectly hidden on a small cliff surrounded by the forest and a little distance away from a stream.

 

>She was very reluctant to go inside. I guess her fears were justified, as a bear could be living inside. I haven't seen or found traces of any bears, but one can never be too sure. With Carbine and wind-up lantern in hand, i begin to venture inside.

 

>And then… Something bumps me from behind. "I-I am never leaving you, remember?". Nuala looks at me with a nervous smile. She then casts a magical light that hovered above us. That's awfully useful, i actually hadn't taken her magic into consideration… As i had no idea what she was capable of, aside from some sort of telekinesis she used with me and the Handler.

 

>Thankfully the cave was uninhabited, no animal droppings and thankfully no Demihumans either, as on our trip we came across a Giant Ant-mound and a few Honey Bee colonies, just a few creepy crawlers here and there along the cavern walls, but nothing dangerous… The place was also strangely dry, even for a cave in the middle of a forest, this was a huge plus for us, as we could store food for a longer time and neither my Carbine nor her ammunition would suffer any damages.

 

>And as we reach the cave's end, a wall that appeared to have collapsed long ago, Nuala looks at me with a wide smile, her fears seemed to be gone "This is our new house, is it not?", she then grabs both of my hands, clasping them together "I cannot wait until we turn this place into a cozy and lively abode!"

 

>And i couldn't wait either, we hastily moved our camp inside the cave before the night encroached.

 

>After making a smokeless fire pit, i set up our bedding. Just two small roll-up beds and two sleeping bags near the fire to keep us warm.

 

>That's when Nuala approaches me, blushing profusely "M-My love…" She says shyly, hands placed above her crotch… "W-Would you like to… Resume your lessons on… L-Love."

 

>This really took me back to that one time on my couch… It seemed as if an eternity had already passed. But i was ready this time, this was part of being together, after all. And there was no way i could deny her.

 

>I silently nod with a smile, her eyes beamed up and i could swear i saw her jumping in excitement.

 

>Now, being the paranoid that i was, i also bought lots of condoms… Yep. I didn't overlook any details and i couldn't afford to have a pregnant Fairy with me, in the wilderness. That'd be highly irresponsible of me.

 

>I of course had no idea if Fairies even got pregnant, they must get, but i wasn't too sure about it. I actually didn't know shit about Nuala's physiology. But still, one can never be too sure.

 

>And so, before i could even turn around to get my clothes off, i had a naked Fairy clinging onto my back. She curiously asked "What is that silvery envelope?"

 

>A knot appeared in my throat, after a moment trying to find the right words, i respond "Contraception. It'd be highly irresponsible from my part to impregnate you, i-it's something that makes us not have babies."

 

>"Impregnate?" She asks with bewilderment "Oh! So that i show babies are made! My love i cannot wait until you show me!", after letting out a girly giggle, she floats off towards our bedding.

 

>I couldn't help but to let out a hearty chuckle at her innocence. What the fuck were her Parents thinking anyways? That's just irresponsible.

 

>So i just walk towards her, buck-naked, my soldier already awaiting orders using his rubber uniform. She's already lying in bed, although looking a little nervous.

 

>And as i kneel down, she shyly looks at me while blushing, momentarily averting her gaze towards my full mast "My heart is racing… Please show me how a Human loves… H-How you would love me."

 

>And that I'll do. Gently separating her legs, i take notice that her small pink slit is already drooling invitingly. Positioning myself, i gently thrust in. Nuala lets out a soft moan, but nods at me in reassurance.

 

>Then, i feel something break inside… She yet again lets out another moan, this time a little pained, panting, she mutters "L-Love hurts a little bit,", gently caressing my cheek she adds "B-But it is nothing compared with what both of us have endured… Please be gentle with me, as you have been during this whole time."

 

>Of course i would be, i begin to slowly thrust back and forth, every time i did so, she would let out a cute moan. Her plump breasts jumped and swayed every time i moved… All in the missionary position.

 

>When she finally opened her eyes, i couldn't bring myself to stop looking at them. I was mesmerized by her gleaming purple irises, deeply and lovingly gazing into me. She begins to circle her arms around my waist and hoists herself up, closer to my face.

 

>Joined her forehead with mine and kept gazing into my eyes. Closely. Her warm breath caressing my face. No words needed at this moment.

 

>If this wasn't love in its purest form, then i don't know what it was.

 

>I gradually began to thrust a little faster and Nuala seemed to receive it well. No pain in her expression, just pure bliss and love.

 

>And after perhaps ten minutes or so, her moans got louder and her breathing faster.

 

>That's when i knew we were both ready. With one final thrust and a groan, she lets out the cutest moan, twitching and squirming while her love juices drenched my crotch. Both of us panting heavily and looking into each other's eyes.

 

>She pulls me closer to her and somehow rolls me over, now lying atop of me with her near-weightless body. "I love you" She whispers with teary eyes while slowly reaching for my face.

 

>She then proceeds to join our mouths in a long and sloppy kiss. After we're done with it, Nuala looks at me with her lovingly stare "We have finally become one… I… I will never let you go, my love. Thank you… Thank you for allowing me to love you."

 

>Afterwards i dispose of the used rubber and clean myself up a bit. All while being pinned down by my Fairy lover, she lets out a long yawn "Please hold me while i sleep… I am very tired, and we both need much rest…"

 

>Indeed, we haven't slept properly in quite some time. With no other words, i pull up a blanket above us and close the big sleeping bag. Nuala's wings wrapped around me while she lied atop of me, caressing my hair and nuzzling her head against my chest.

 

>And i could also swear she was grinding her crotch against my thigh, making it a little wet.

 

>But that didn't matter, she happily lied over me, one hand holding mine and the other gently stroking my hair, peacefully gazing upon me with a smile. Perhaps making sure that i wouldn't run away, i circled my free arm around her waist in reassurance that i indeed intended to be with her all night long.

 

>I knew this was just the beginning, of something beautiful. And it hopefully would last for the rest of our lives.

 

>I slowly drifted away while Nuala hummed a peaceful tune, perhaps to soothe my tired body.

 

>I'd be lying if i denied that i didn't think Nuala wouldn't do much around here.

 

>But boy i was so wrong, and I'm so glad i was.

 

>The day after we settled in, Nuala began doing things, many, many things.

 

>She lit up the whole cave with magic lights, helped me dig a hole suitable for a latrine outside, collected clay to make pots and we managed to collect a bunch of wild berries.

 

>And we did all of that in one day, all while she remained glued to me.

 

>For the next week we had everything pretty much settled, a kiln to cook our clay pottery, a small rustic furnace inside the cave to heat us up and cook our meals.

 

>The whole place gradually began looking more and more like a home… Even by Fairy standards.

 

>A strange ring of mushrooms appeared one day outside of the cave, Nuala said it was normal for that to appear and it always happened wherever a Fairy would settle down and live.

 

>We made an entrance to the cave with clay and stones and placed a door. Made a small clay chimney that took what little smoke came from the furnace outside.

 

>Funnily enough Nuala magically grew a gourd and placed it over the latrine. We had a gourd outhouse, literally shitting inside a pumpkin.

 

>And Nuala's magical shenanigans didn't end there, she used her magic and turned two huge stones into querns, and made buckwheat flour with the many buckwheat grains we had previously collected.

 

>She even made sugar and syrup from wild beets.

 

>By the end of the first month, we had a place we could call home. Furniture grown from twigs, even a bedframe, a big selection of clay pottery Nuala could cook with… And a huge stockpile of dried berries, buckwheat flour and grains, wild mushrooms and many, many small pots with berry marmalade. The girl loved her sweets.

 

>It was a paradise of our own and the best part of it… We were both happy. Happy with what little did we have and happy with having each other to count on.

 

>And it didn't end there, every night Nuala would come to me, panties wet, asking for another love lesson.

 

>I of course couldn't deny her, we passionately explored every corner of our bodies, every night. And i still had no idea how Fairy reproduction worked.

 

>One day i found a rocky outcrop with pure rock salt coming from it. A perfect spot to hunt for grazers who come to lick the salty stones and a place we could get salt from, ensuring a way for us to preserve meats even better by brining and smoking them.

 

>Nuala wasn't so keen on killing poor little forest creatures… But she was very keen on eating them. She apparently had a Fey pact or something and her culture didn't allow the harming of forest animals, or something like that.

 

>And she also was a little frightened of my Carbine… Every time i fired, she'd jump and cling onto me.

 

>It was fun to hear her questions and complaints "Could you please lower the noise it makes?" or "Please tell her not to make much noise."

 

>As the time went on, Nuala actually got curious about my Carbine… One day and out of the blue, she asked me to teach her how to 'operate her'.

 

>And oh boy we had so much fun together shooting at random targets, and she was very damn good at it too, her groupings were really, really tight, even without the scope.

 

>It suffices to say that after a week or two, she was the one doing most of the hunting. Clear shots to deers and boars, right in their hearts. She said it was fine as long as the animal didn't suffer. And i gotta say none of them suffered, as all of her shots were immediate kills, falling flat into the ground like ragdolls.

 

>She even gave my Carbine a name, Bruiolwen. It meant Loud Stick in her native Sylvan language.

 

>One thing she refused to do was butchering, and i admit i didn't savor much the idea, either. Reminded me of the horrible hallucinations i used to get. But somebody had to do it.

 

>Speaking of which, we never spoke about our mental problems ever again, we had forgotten about them and they never manifested on me. And i think Nuala was too happy to even remember those days she spent cloistered.

 

>Life was good, a little tough sometimes, but good nonetheless.

 

>We managed to survive our first winter with little to no problems at all. All the slanina i had brought helped us keep out weights, along with the deer and boar fat we had collected.

 

>Nuala was also an excellent cook, able to make meals out of whatever i brought her, she even surprised me a few times with buckwheat pancakes, those seemed to be her favorites.

 

>And so the months passed, came in my birthday, then her birthday… Then a bear attack…

 

>Which i survived, the huge fucker tried to break into our cave, gave me a huge gash on my chest. We also ate bear for weeks afterwards, the meat was actually pretty good, and i of course, wore its pelt like some mad savage.

 

>I think it has been almost four years since Nuala and i moved here. We made small expansions to our home, a bigger smoking room, a bigger kiln. Just small details to make our lives easier.

 

>Our love also expanded… By a lot, there wasn't a single day where Nuala didn't playfully pounce on me while collecting things out in the forest, assaulting me with smoochies and hugs, i loved my girl so much and i imagine she loved me as thrice as much, if such a thing was even possible.

 

>Wild Fey sex every night, she even began adding magic into it. Lightshows every time she came, levitation and such.

 

>We were truly happy together.

 

>Occasionally we got visits, perhaps once or twice a month. Little Fairies would come and visit Nuala, i had no idea how they found about our place, but they promised not to tell anybody.

 

>They seemed to have a lot of respect for Nuala and they also appeared to be drawn to her, looked at her as if she were some sort of authoritative figure. Even if they afterwards played together like little kids. They treated her like a big sister.

 

>Life was truly good and i thoroughly enjoyed every single day spent with her.

 

>Perhaps we were the only two sane people in this mad world.

 

>One summer, the day before Nuala's birthday, i snuck out early in the morning. I don't know how i managed to get her off me without waking her up, but i somehow managed to do so.

 

>I had a surprise planned for her birthday, she loved flowers and I'd get her a very special one.

 

>An Edelweiss. They grew high in the mountains and i had seen a few while exploring around a few years ago. If i could get her several of those, that'd be a very special gift.

 

>I cautiously sneak out and not make any noise. I got pretty good at sneaking around unseen and unheard, sometimes I'd tease her, hiding myself in the bushes until she desperately looked for me everywhere.

 

>The trip takes me a few hours, but i manage to get up to the ridge before the clock hits 7.