Untitled

MARIO. AND THE SEARCH FOR THE INNER SPAGHETTI PARTY QUEST

 

INTERMISsioN 3: YOU CAN ToUCh My pocket baLLS

 

chapter 190: IS THE TWETLTH BADGE COMING OR IS IT NOT YOU NEVER WNO WITH MARIOA ND HTE SEARHC FOR HTE INENR SPAGHETTI PARTY QUEST BECUASE ITS A GIANT BUNDLE OF YARN AND ALSO OF SCRAMBLED DESTORYED EPXECTATITONS YOU NEVer... EVER... KNWO WHATS GOING ON

 

"watch it kid" said an unknwown voice  ccomign from everywhere at once it was spoopy

 

mario looked around himself and he noticed his surroundings fading to black adn he siad "hold on who the fuck is there" and the vocie said "its me. your friend. the skeltons"

 

and mario said "yeah okay what skeletons"

 

"that doesnt matteR" the voice siad in a louder voice "im here to tell you. if you keep going like this. youre oging to have a bad time"

 

and then mario said "oh god damn it oyu piece of shit would you fuck off"

 

and the voice said (it's sans you fucking dumbass) "fuck off kid" and then he disapppeared adn the surroudnigns faded back to normal and mario looke daroudn except it wasnt noraml at all it was post apocalyptic. mario said "okay what the fuck happened holy fuck i was gone for like ten fuckign seconds and everything is fucking gone" and mario looked aorund and he saw eridan mario's skeleton right next to him and mario said "... well shit? excpept i dotn really knpwo ifi should even care that hes dead or if i shouild be happy i mean he was an annoying pie e of sht but he was also eridu mara and eridu maria was pretty epic" and mario looked around he was in can town and he saw the ruins of can town and all the dead can people just lying on the ground and htere was cat peach who was stil in the same position she was in after her good rape nad mairo said "fucking hell i hope i can still get the badges"

 

but wait... would marioo even need the badges int hsi post apocalyptic environemnt? who would stop him from juts going through the elite four or where they resided and rescuing waluigi... was waluigi still alive? if he wasnt that would be a piece of shit. his good bro and his only friend from the last universe that went to hell because of the second coming of dixie kong

 

so then mario wandered out of can town towards his next destination. he tried to throw out one of his pokeballs but when he threw it all that came out was a dead dusty skeleotn of his good old friend, JELLY PENIS thel egendary ditto. he tried all fo his pokeballs and htey were all gone. evne golden midas was nowhere to be found, and golden midas was aboslutely fuckign useless. i mean hes literally a fucking golden statue who the fuck woudl ever con fuse him for being useful. and he was a statue so he shouldnt die. but he still died for some retarded reason. or at least, he was gone.... why was he gone though? was it due to death? or had sometihng sinister ocurred.... mario kept cylcign through his poekballs..... they were all dead. all the ppokemo nwere dead and there was nothgin he coudl do there were no more easy wins he could no longer fly on the back of his trusty rayquaza, alabama meat snake. he could no longer ill everyone byy making jellyp enis transofrm into something super useful like a condom. he could no longer throw out the alpha sonichu.

 

but wait...

 

as mario threw the pokeball for columbus, the alpha sonichu and last sonichu.... sonichu came out. when he saw mario, he had tears in his eyes "fast.... i was not fast.... its FAST time!!!!" and sonichu started runnign circles around mario and mario siad "hey clam the fuck DOWN youy piece of shit you are the last pokemon god damn it if this isnt supposed to be some kind of symbolism i will be psised as fuck" and sonichu said "i am sonichu. YOU'RE TOO SLOW!!!!!!" an hek icked mario in the ass and mario fell face forward into the apocalyptic dried mud dust and mario screamed ""GOD DAMN IT OYU FUCKIGN YELLOW NIGER GET THE FUCK BACK" and sonichu said "sorry nuckles! I've got a full schedule!!!!" and he ran away as quick as he could and left dust clouds everyweher and he started runnign so fast around mario a dust tornado started to form and mario screamde "OH FUCK YOU YOU'VE MESSED WITH THE WRONG ONLY SURVIVOR OF THE HUMAN RACE" and he tried to go aryan saiyan.

 

but it didn't work

 

and mario said "oh my god this really isx going to be a bad fucking time." so he took out his anime swod but his anime sword was rusty as fuck and compeltely unusuable and mario said "oh what the fuck kind of twist is this i only have a THIRD of the badges and i've fucking lost EVERYTHING. i've lost everything and i am not goign to let a fucking retarded yellow asshole capitalize on that. i am MARIO AIRO, for god's sakes, and i will not be bested by MY OWN FUCKING SONICHU" and then mario screamd "COLOUMBUS!!! COLUMBUS!!!! i've got a soni treat!!! i've got a soni treat!!!! your favorite!!!!" and he took a ball of mud and compressed it into a ball and sonichu ran up to him and stopped makign hte dust tornado and he started speedwuhispering "a treat? is it a fast treat" " i want to go fast" "will eaitng it make me go fast" "knuckles!!! that's mud!" "stay fast my friend." "you're too slow!" "too easy! "i could circle aroudn the circles i make circling aroudn you!!!! fast!!!!" "soni right back at chu!!!" and mario said "YES ITS A FUCKING SONICHU TREAT YOU FUCKING RETARD" and hten osnichu ran up to him and mairo saiod "hey... hold on... you have to slow down to properly metabolize the FAST ATOMS of this treat. if you don t go lsow all the atoms will decompress inside your body and kill you" and sonichu started sweating and he siad "al-alright.... i'm going slow.... but i want to go fast!!!!" and then he started going fast to him and mario screamed "HOLD STILL YOU RETARD" nad then sonichu frowned and he said "you're too slow...." and mario said "yes i'm too fuckin gslow now hold on you piece of shit" and then sonichu held still and mario punched him in the face dropping him to the ground and sonichu started screaming "OH MY GOD!!!!" and mario siad "look around oyu, pal. there is no god." and columbus hte alpha sonichu started screaming "I CAN GO SUPERSONIC THE PROBLEM'S CHRONIC" and mario whispered "tell me, does life exist beyond it" and sonichu said "fast...." and mario started beating hte shit out of sonichu and he stuffed the mud ball into his outh and punched it into his throat and it descended into columbus the sonichus's throat as columbus choked and gagged and made fast noises and mario beat the shit out of him bloodying is pearly white gloves with sonichu blood and sonichu kept trying to use thundr attacks but because he was a japanese character he had to say his attack names before he could use them and mario kept punching him in the mouth so he couldnt do that and mario kept pucnhign and punching and punchign and punchign dand pucnbhign and pcundhing and opucnhign dand pucnhign and punchin g and punching and hsi fists kept rising and descending faster and faster speeding up with heach hit the blood flying ufrther and further from tehe icnreasesd velocity of his fists and mario started roaring and he grabbed sonichus head and punded it into the sand and osnichu was dead at this point but mario kept doing it, in a complete rage at his helplessness and hte loss of his powers and at how fukcing annoying this golden bastard was and mario roared like au fkcing lion or a tiger or maybe evven a LIGER (word) and mario screamed "THIS IS MY WORLD. YOU ARE NOT WLEOCME IN MY WORLD" adn finally sonci got up, leaivng the corpse of his last pokemon on the grounda nd he tossed out all his pokeballs. because they were useless now. this was a world without pokemon. without his awesome as fuck powers it was a world of ussrvival where it was kill or be killed. well, he assumed. i mean he hadn't really encoutnered anything dangerous besides columbus the osnichu but columbus was more annoying than anything else. but still... he could not shake the feeling that he had stumbled into some serious shit.

 

mario.... mario would survive. why? because mario could go super sonci. the problem's chronic.

 

mario started sprinting through the wasteland,. he ran for hours. the world was destroyed, with tree stumps and sand everywhere, and pokemon and human skeletons everywhere. it was truly the ned of hte war. finally, he oculd run no longer. it was night.

 

"well fuck" said mario. he never really had to sleep up till this point for reasons, but nonetheless he cmae ot the realizatio ntaht he had to tgot to sleep. the question now as where would he sleep? night could be a seirous paoin in the ass... in these wasteland areas, who knows, theres often really dangerous creatures at night.... there might be sand spiders ors omething, hidign undertneat the ground, waiting for the sun to fall so taht they could eat marios flesh..... wrap him up in silk and dissolve him i ntheir weird digestvie spider juices..... a sacrifice to the spider queen, muffet... who was also queen of big booties.

 

so mario decided to build a campfire and he hauled a log and put it next to the fire and decided to sleep when all of a sudden he heard a shout. he gor up quickly and looked aorund.... and he saw a a mysterious figure standing on ah ill walking towards him. mario got in a combat pose, about to draw his sword but realizign he unfortunately no longer had his sword he instead readied his fists. it was time for a fight. he was sure.

 

so mario screamed "you think you can mess with mario "mcfucking" mario? i'm more than you can chew, waster" and waluigi said "hey crank the edge down to "butter knife" you fucking retard." and mario siad "holy fukcign shit is that you waluijew" and waluigi said "holy FUCKING SHIT ITS WALUIGI YOU DUMB BASTARD" and mario said "yeah im sure it is" and waluigi said "yeah whatever retard anyway the world got nuked to hell except all the gym leaders and the elite four ad the champion bunkered up to survive the explosion. they left me behind and i managed to go super saiyan x to extend my limbs and unlock my bindings and then i hid in a fridge to surivve the apocalypse. fucking niggers reestablished their gyms and are trying to create a new world order where the gyms are a ritual ALL humans must pass or else they die. theyre inventign a genetic fridge to recreate huamntiy and pokemon from stored DNA"

 

and mario said "wow that was a whole shit i didnt even fucking give a fuck about so how the fuck do we ditch this piece of shit universe" and waluigi said "we need to defeat twenty one more gym leaders nad then the elite four and the champion and then we can use their teleporter which is powered by badges and we can teleport to another universe"

 

and mario said "wait why the fuck do you know they're badge powered"" and waluigi said "'one of them told me" and mario said "oh god damn it its bait. they're trying to bait me into fighting all of me. thats why they left you behind they knew yoyu would escape and try to rendevouz with me. god damn it waluijew" and waluigi said "oh god damn it oyu sutpid fucking goyim shitstain i am a FUCKING GOY MY NAME IS WALUIGI" and mario saoid "chill out, nigger." and waluigi said "yeah sure i'll chill out when yo ustop being a faggot" and mario said "yeah, cool. okay. that's real sweet of you."

 

so mario and waluigi just stood there for a while and waluigi said "alright so why the fuck didnt you meet up with me sooner you had three days before james k polk's bombs would destroy the world" and mario said "some asshole, sans the skelton or something from undertale pulled me into a fade to black cutscene and when i rematerialized the owrld was like this" and waluigi said "spoopy" and mario said "yeah it was pretty spoopy for a skelton"

 

and waluigi said "alright well anyway you're taking a big risk staying out at night like this we need to get to cover asap" and mario said "why" and waluigi said "the undertales come out at night" and mario said "the undertales? waht the fuck is an undertale" and waluigi said" this may be surprising to you but basically a few thousand years ago there was a huge war between monsters and bumans. the humans won because WHITE RACE KKK. this was in the time of the aryans. anyway, the humans won. they sealed the monsters underground. the monsters needed human souls to break the seal, but they couldnt break the saels because they were FAGGOTS. and they got r e k k k t. anyway that happened. so they just stayed down there and marinated for a while and were all pissed off and steamed and then the apocalypse happenede and the seal broke and the monsters came uaboveground. and now every night monsters invade and try to kill people. that's why there are no more survivvors except people liek you and me who are super powerful and able tos ruvive without urban accessories like toilets and apartments. the undertales ate them all." and mario said "so what do undertales look like" and waluigi said "theres all kinds. skelltons are the most common, like sans the skellton." and mario said "sheeeeit wish i had a nigger bulma to take care of me on a night like this" and waluigi said "nigger, what" and mario said 'its whatever look man where the fuck is this shelter you were talki-"

 

a shadowy figure ducked behind a tree nearby mario and mario saw it and said "holy shit what the fuck was that" and waluigi said "the undertales have arrived. take this sword, mario. it is forged from human souls, the ultiamte weapon against the undertale menace." and mario grabbed the sword whic hlooked awsome nad had spikes on the side of it and was covered in laser fluid which meant it did energy damage and glowed in the dark and mario said "aight so what are we up against" and waluigi said "best case scenario? low level skelltons." and mario said "worst case scenario?" and waluigi said "pacifist goats" and then mario said "why is the worst  case scenario" and waluigi said "you get all thsi cringeworthy dialogue beforehand to make you feel bad about killing them. it's really annoying" and mario said "oh. fuck. well ain''t notihng team MARIO & WALUIJEW can't handle" and waluigi said "ITS WALUIGI GOD DAMN youre doign this on purpose arent you you retarded fucking nigger sympathizer" and mario said "nah." and the skelltons came. they were led by papyrus, the brother of sans. and papyrus said "OH! LOOK! HUMANS!!!! UNDYNE'S GOING TO BE HAPPY WITH THIS" and mario said "spoopy! too bad i'm a skellton killer." and then papyrus laughed a skeleton crackling bone laugh and he said "too bad for you!!!! i am a human TRAPPER!! SUDOKU!!!" and he threw sudoku at mario and amrio said "oh my god, sudoku.... god fucking damn it how am i supposed to resist sudoku" and papyrus laughed and screamed "THIS IS THE POWER OF A SKELLTON!!!!" and waluigi screamed "GOD DAMN IT MARIO NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR SUDOKU" and mario said "SHUt UP YOU'RE NOT HELPING I NEED TO FINISH THIS SUDOU" and walugii said "oh god damn it but you had better fucking hurry up" so mario was on all fours trying to finish a sudoku puzzle as papyrus laughed and his skellton army escended from all sides towards waluigi and mario and waluigi screamed "MARIO!!!!!!!!" andm ario said "IM ON IT I'M ON IT YOU PIEC OF SHIT CALM DOWN WALUIJEW" and waluigi screamed "ITS WALUIGI YOU STUPID FUCK" as he cut through a skellton and he did a whirlwind and sliced through dozens of skelltons at once and mario said "alright i'm done with one of the squares" and walugii said "what the fuck youve only done one of the squares how fuckign retarded can you be god damn" and mario said "I'M TRYING" and waluigi screamed "TRY HARDER" as he shishkebabed several skeletons and used them as a giant club to beat down groups of skelltons and a skellton grabbed onto marios abck but walugii turned around 180 degrees and kicked it in the face sending itflying backwards and mario said "thanks pal" and waluigi said "how many squares" and mairo said "still one i think i might have to redo it though this placement is kind of fuckin gme up" and waluigi screamed "WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT THIS IS NOT THE tIME TO BE PLAYING SUDOKU IN THE FIRST PLACE GOD DAMN IT" and mario said "nah i'm kidding i'm done"

 

and mario stood up and took out his skellton killer sword and he thrust forward stabbing through several skelltons and makign a skellton shishkebab and using htem to plow through and netire row of selltons and the outer wav e of hte skelltons started to go backwards to chase down mario and papyrus screamed "WHAT!!!!!!!! he finished my sudoku trap so easily!!!" and sans said "maybe he's just a sudoku master. he's been through a lot of this hsit, you know" and papyrus said "but! but...!!!! i designded that sudoku puzzle myself!" and sans said "i have a betteer puzzle." and sans took out princess peach and put a gun to her head and held her by the hair in front of him and he screamed "yo mario! you want to see your bitch alive again, you throw down your sword!!!" and mario screamed "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE" as he slashed through a hundred skelltons at once and sans said "i told you . resist the ELITE (four)..t. you're gonna have a bad time. the undertales have taken control of the surface. all humans obey us now. in other words..."

 

"fuck off, kid"

 

and mario said "that's not my princess peach you retarded shit. this isn't my dimension. this dimension is retarded. you can force her to stuff mongeese in her vagian for alll i care" and sans said "you're bluffing" and mario said "no, really, pull the fucking trigger. i dare you" and sans said "alright. pew." and he shot princess peach's brains out and he chuckled and said "didn't think i'd go through wit hit, would you? well, guess what. after all you humans have done to us... i really couldn't give less of a shit." and mario said "i don't give a fuck"

 

and papyrus screamed "SANS!!!!! YOUR TAUNTING ISNT HELPING!!!! YOU'R EJUST MAKING HIM ANGRIER!!!!!!" and then sans said "dude i know what i'm doing, chill, bro" and papyrus screamed "I'LL CHILL WHEN YOU STOP ALLOWING THE GREAT UNDERTALE ARMY TO FALL AT YOUR FEET!!!!!!!!" and mario and waluigi were hacking and stomping away at these fuckers, sommetimes even stabbing downwards with their swords like motherfuckers, all popping a murder boner and blowing sweet, sweet genocide into the face of the combined skellton army and waluigi screamed "GETTING TIRED YET, MARIO" and mario said "why you asking? want me to throw you a shekel energy bar?" and waluigi screamed "I'M A FUCKING GOY YOU IGNORANT SHIT" and then mario said "yeah, sure thing, emmanuel" and waluigi roared in anger "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

 

the fight continued. for a long time. there was slashign of swords and skeleotns making rattling noises. papyrus said "sans!!! sans!!!! we need to withdraw this army RIGHT NOW!!!!" and sans said "cool it. we'll get through this" and papyrus screamed "BUT OUR ARMY WON'T!!!!! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND WE WERE ONLY GIVEN THIS ARMY BECAUSE THEY'RE SKELLTONS LIKE US!!!!!" and sans said "holy shit fuck off lmao" and papyrus screamed "RECALL THE TROOPS" and sans said "no" and they kept bickering like that for hwat seemed like hours, because it was hours. they werent the kinds of people who would sit in chairs bickering for 10 minutes and assume hours passed by. they were the kinds of people who would sit in chairs bickering for 5 hours and they would assume 5 hours havep assed because htats exactly how much time passed. sans and papyrus were a special team. they argued a lot, they didnt really get along at all. but they were the two generals of the skellton army, because they were kselltons and the skellton army did best when it had two skelltons to look up to. when it was just admiral fishtits commanding everything it was a pretty bad time. so sans was sent to make it a good time, but he just made it a bad time, so then they sent papyrus in, and the tem became a legend, ebcause papyrus would distract his enemies.... with magic sudoku.

 

it was over, tohugh. by the time sans finally decided it wasnt worth casually refusing papyrus's suggestions to withdraw the tropps, all the skellton army was destroyed, and all the skelltons were dead. mario and waluigi were standing there alone. papyrus screamed "NO!!!! MY DREAMS!!! SANS WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET THE SKELETON ARMY DIE!!" and sans said "welp next time guess i should use the artillery BEFORE everybody dies" and papyrus said "you had artillery!!!" and sans said 'yep" and he pressed a button and a bunch of missiles came rainign from the sky and mario looked at waluigi sand he said "holy shit waluijew its time to do the thing" wand wlauijew said "its ufkcing waluigi" and then they kicked into the air and they kicked the missils deflecting them at sans and papyrus and they flew throgu hthe air kicking off of missiles and deflecting all fo them like fukckign ninjas and waluigi said "you'd think these niggers could actually fucking try" and sans saw all the missiles flying back towards him and he flinched and he said "man, i told him it was going to be a bad time..." and he disappeare all of a sudden because he kind of does that and then papyrus was left there to face all of the missiles and he screamed "SANS!!!! THESE ARE MISSILES!!!!!" and those were his last words because all of the missiles hitt the ground just as he finished that sentence and he died.

 

mario and waluigi brofisted and mario said "alright so what now"

 

and waluigi said "papyrus was the twelth gym leader actually. i guesss they put him on hunting duty for some reason? i guess it makes sense since gyms are closed at night" and mairo siad "how long has it been since the world was destroyed" and waluigi said "3 months" and mario said "holy shit that's a long time" and waluigi said "well it gave me enough time to become a master of the wastes. consider yourself lucky" and mario saido "how did you stay alive" and waluigi said "i was in a fridge so the radiation didn't take away my super saiyan x powers. watch" and waluigi treid to go super saiyan x but he couldnt and waluigi said "oh my god what the fuck" and mario said "wait have you tried to go super saiyan x since the bombs fell" and waluigi said "uh... no... i just always assumed i had that as a backup option" and mario said "ahahahahah dude thats ufkcign hilarious you were only able tos urvive because of a power you didnt have" and waluigi siad "thats not fucking funny what the fukc am i going to do if we have to fight giant spiders or tsunderplanes" and mario said ""what the fuck is a tsunderplane" and waluigi said "you dont even want to fucking know" and mario said "look you managed to get this far so why not just keep doing what youre doing since you managed to get this far" and waluigi sraid "god damn it man it's just no tthe same now that i don't ave my win switch" and mario said "an attitutde like that is even more likelier to get you killed than knowing you dont have the powers yo uthought you have"