9:20
Lumoshi
there are a lot of good jokes
http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes
here
Wife: "How would you describe me?"  Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."  Wife: "What does that mean?"  Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."  Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"  Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
9:20
Crimson the Fandraxonian
lol
9:21
MarioEternal
watch my weird livestream!!! http://www.ustream.tv/broadcaster/19217645
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9:23
Lumoshi
Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.
9:23
Crimson the Fandraxonian
lol
rude
9:23
SonicWiki
yo mama so ugly bob the builder said i cant fix that
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9:23
Crimson the Fandraxonian
lol
~Fae Nanami~ has left the jam.
~Fae Nanami~ has joined the jam!
9:24
MarioEternal
i wonder who's watching my livestream :p
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9:24
MarioEternal
probably no one lol
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9:25
Lumoshi
i'm including a trace of kuvira's goals in the main villain in my nanowrimo
9:25
Crimson the Fandraxonian
Does it feel awkward to see me at this time?
9:25
~Fae Nanami~
"The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'""
9:25
Lumoshi
yes fandro
9:25
Crimson the Fandraxonian
lol Fae
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9:27
Dismo
Fae!
9:28
MarioEternal
you don't have to watch it, but i just want to test if my livestream is working correctly. is it?: http://www.ustream.tv/broadcaster/19217645
like is the sound working :p
is the video showing up
9:29
Crimson the Fandraxonian
Guys I would tell you about my butter joke but
you might spread it
9:30
MarioEternal
lol
clever :p
You are now away.
9:30
Crimson the Fandraxonian
The jam is too spread out
we need to start calling everyone to get back in
Lumoshi ping
revive the jam
You are no longer away.
9:30
Lumoshi
699 words
9:31
Crimson the Fandraxonian
lol
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You are now away.
You are no longer away.
9:37
Lumoshi
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"  Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
9:38
Dismo
Wife: "KAKAAAAAAAAAAROOOOTTT!!!" Husband: "KA!-ME!-HA!-ME!-HA!!!"
9:39
Crimson the Fandraxonian
lol lum
9:39
~Fae Nanami~
A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. “Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed.” Two days later her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won't run away.” “What makes you think you are great in bed?” the woman retorts. Tim replies, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”
omfg
SoaringSpirits has left the jam.
9:41
Dismo
W O W
It took me a second
9:41
~Fae Nanami~
Three brothers are traveling along a road, and their car dies. They all get out of the car, and start walking to a barn that's a little ways away. When they get their, the farmer comes out of the barn, and offers them a room for one night. He says to the first one, "You can sleep with the pigs," the second guy," you can sleep with the cows", and the third guy, "I like the cut of your jib. You can sleep with my 18 daughters." The next morning, he asks everyone how they slept. The first man said, "I slept like a pig." The second man said ,"I slept like a cow." The third guy said, "I slept like a rabbit. I jumped from hole, to hole, to hole."
omfg
You are now away.
9:42
Dismo
Bae Nanami
9:43
~Fae Nanami~
Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
this is the best one
it's the best
nothing can beat it
9:45
Crimson the Fandraxonian
lol
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9:45
~Fae Nanami~
the best jokes are the ones that are very clever
9:45
Crimson the Fandraxonian
amazing jokes sir
and yes
You are no longer away.
9:46
Lumoshi
i get it now
9:46
Crimson the Fandraxonian
"Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
I almost didn't get this one
but then
omg
9:47
Lumoshi
 9:39 ~Fae Nanami~ A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. “Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed.” Two days later her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won't run away.” “What makes you think you are great in bed?” the woman retorts. Tim replies, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”
i don't get this one
9:47
~Fae Nanami~
when i got it it hit me right in the face
lumoshi he rang the doorbell
how did he ring the doorbell
9:48
Lumoshi
yes
oh
hmm
nose?
9:48
~Fae Nanami~
wow
9:48
Crimson the Fandraxonian
I don't get the first one
9:48
~Fae Nanami~
wow
9:48
SonicWiki
lumo are you serious
he used his dick
9:48
Lumoshi
OH
9:49
Crimson the Fandraxonian
oh lol
9:49
Lumoshi
i never even thought of that
9:49
~Fae Nanami~
"Daddy, where did I come from?" seven-year-old Rachel asks. It is a moment for which her parents have carefully prepared. They take her into the living room, get out several other books, and explain all they think she should know about sexual attraction, affection, love, and reproduction. Then they both sit back and smile contentedly. "Does that answer your question?" the mom asks. "Not really," the little girl says. "Judy said she came from Detroit. I want to know where I came from."
9:49
Crimson the Fandraxonian
ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY RING A DOORBELL
WITH HIS DICK
@Fae lol
9:49
Lumoshi
lol
9:50
~Fae Nanami~
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
wow this one is wow
9:51
SonicWiki
haha
9:51
Lumoshi
lol
9:51
Crimson the Fandraxonian
amaze
I found a great joke on the internet a long time ago
a husband and wife were settling on a password for their computer
the husband entered "dick"
the computer was like
9:53
~Fae Nanami~
too short
9:53
Crimson the Fandraxonian
it's not long enough
lol
9:53
SonicWiki
lame
9:53
~Fae Nanami~
i saw that on the website
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9:54
Crimson the Fandraxonian
i don't remember where i found it though
hi Renardy
9:54
SonicWiki
in your pants
huehuehue
9:54
Crimson the Fandraxonian
.-.
* Crimson the Fandraxonian murder sonicwiki
9:54
Lumoshi
http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/ some of these are very perverted
9:54
SonicWiki
* SonicWiki reflect
9:54
Lumoshi
especially if you click the sex jokes tab on the left
9:54
SonicWiki
youre perverted
9:55
Lumoshi
i'm 13
9:55
SonicWiki
what does that have to do with anything
9:55
Crimson the Fandraxonian
I would post this long joke I found near the bottom of the page
9:55
Lumoshi
that means i am perverted
Waddle Doink has left the jam.
9:55
Crimson the Fandraxonian
but it's too long
seriously
9:55
Lumoshi
break it in two
9:56
Crimson the Fandraxonian
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.”
9:56
Lumoshi
lol
9:56
Crimson the Fandraxonian
This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
amazing
inb4 eight year old walks into chat room
9:57
SonicWiki
wikia is meant for 13+ so its their fault
9:58
Crimson the Fandraxonian
lel
i'm laughing at the first part of that long joke
still
9:58
Lumoshi
Q: Why was six scared of seven?  A: Because seven "ate" nine.
9:59
Crimson the Fandraxonian
" After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry. "
i.
rip chat
9:59
SonicWiki
http://i.imgur.com/rtwjhBD.png
10:00
~Fae Nanami~
Three people get arrested and are taken into holding for questioning. The officer talks to the first girl, asking, "What's your name?" She says, "Yo." The officer asks, "What are you in for?" She responds with, "Blowing bubbles." The officer takes her picture and lets her go. He asks the second girl, "What's your name?" She responds with, "Yo Yo." The officer asks, "What are you in for?" She responds with, "Blowing bubbles." The officer takes her picture and lets her go. He talks to the guy and says, "Let me guess, your name is Yo Yo Yo." The guy replies with, "No, it's Bubbles."
10:00
Lumoshi
Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?  A: It's okay. He woke up.
lol fae
10:01
SonicWiki
lumo look at the image
10:01
~Fae Nanami~
Q: Why is sex like math?  A: You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
10:01
SonicWiki
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"  Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
10:01
Lumoshi
lol @SW and fae
10:01
Crimson the Fandraxonian
lol Fae
10:02
Lumoshi
Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?  A: Carlos.
10:02
SonicWiki
Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
10:02
Lumoshi
i don't get it
10:02
Crimson the Fandraxonian
^
10:02
~Fae Nanami~
the teacher is a fat cow
10:02
SonicWiki
are you serious
10:02
Lumoshi
oh lol
10:02
~Fae Nanami~
how do you not get that
10:02
SonicWiki
do you guys have no sense of humor
10:02
Crimson the Fandraxonian
wait
ooo
lol
10:03
SonicWiki
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
10:03
Crimson the Fandraxonian
lol
10:03
SonicWiki
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?  A: Ask your mother.
10:04
Crimson the Fandraxonian
lol
again
10:04
Lumoshi
lol
10:04
Crimson the Fandraxonian
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
10:04
~Fae Nanami~
Mickey Mouse is in the middle of a nasty divorce from Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane," said the judge. Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's f*cking Goofy!"
wow
10:04
Crimson the Fandraxonian
lol
10:05
Lumoshi
wow
10:05
Crimson the Fandraxonian
An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, "I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?" The husband replies, "First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!"
10:05
SonicWiki
What's the difference between three penises and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke.
10:05
Crimson the Fandraxonian
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
ba dum tssh
10:05
~Fae Nanami~
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
SHE IS THE DEVIL
10:06
Lumoshi
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "It tells me that someone has stolen our tent."
10:06
Crimson the Fandraxonian
After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts."
i can't
10:06
~Fae Nanami~
A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."
10:06
Crimson the Fandraxonian
@Lumoshi ...lol
Q: How do astronomers organize a party?  A: They planet.
10:07
Lumoshi
soupy is literally drunk right now
10:07
Crimson the Fandraxonian
wait what
soupy is drunk?
10:07
GamingDylan
yes
10:08
Crimson the Fandraxonian
.-.
10:08
Lumoshi
also fandro i posted that joke on skype before you  B)
10:08
~Fae Nanami~
wait you guys have a skype
Renardy has left the jam.
10:08
Crimson the Fandraxonian
If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?
yes
exactly
10:08
SonicWiki
fandro thats old
10:09
Crimson the Fandraxonian
how am i supposed to know
10:09
SonicWiki
go on the internet
most of these are old but
that one was popular a while ago
10:09
Crimson the Fandraxonian
How to be insulting when giving directions: Point with four fingers when they ask.
this is probably old too but lol
omg
10:10
Lumoshi
Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?"  Son: "I don't have it."  Dad: "Why?"  Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."
10:10
Crimson the Fandraxonian
did anyone see this one:
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
10:10
~Fae Nanami~
The bell rang for school to start and John walked in late. Mr. Clark asked, "John, why are you late?" He replied, "I was on Cherry Hill." Then he sat down. Ten minutes later Nathan walked in late and Mr. Clark repeated, "Why are you late?" Nathan answered, "I was on top of Cherry Hill." Five minutes later Kevin walked in late and Mr. Clark said to him, "Kevin, where have you been?" Kevin replied, "I was on Cherry Hill." Ten minutes later a girl walked in the classroom and Mr. Clark asked, "Hi there, what's your name?" The girl replied, "Cherry Hill."
10:10
Crimson the Fandraxonian
@Lumoshi lol
Renardy has joined the jam!
10:10
Lumoshi
hi
10:10
Crimson the Fandraxonian
hi Renardy
Cherry Hill op
10:10
Lumoshi
where's white, i haven't seen him all day
10:10
Crimson the Fandraxonian
White's ded
10:11
~Fae Nanami~
rip
10:11
Crimson the Fandraxonian
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
wow
this is bad
10:11
Lumoshi
One day at school, little Jimmy needed to go to the restroom so he raised his hand. The strict substitute teacher asked him to say the full alphabet before she would let him go. "But Miss, I am bursting to go," said Jimmy. "You may go, but after you say the full alphabet." "A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z," he said. Catching his mistake, the substitute asked, "Jimmy, where is the 'P?'" He answered, "Halfway down my legs, Miss."
10:11
Crimson the Fandraxonian
lel
10:11
~Fae Nanami~
They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the hell runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
10:11
Crimson the Fandraxonian
lol
Nikki-Kaji has joined the jam!
10:12
Crimson the Fandraxonian
A man is talking to God. "God, how long is a million years?" God answers, "To me, it's about a minute." "God, how much is a million dollars?" "To me, it's a penny." "God, may I have a penny?" "Wait a minute." https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1969298_10204443313837210_5889784974613329677_n.jpg?oh=02d69ad9410926ec48f9da1878e5073a&oe=54E2B109&__gda__=1424843107_0d89fd5c9b8a05639565d3dc14685228
reaction
10:13
~Fae Nanami~
Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.
10:13
Lumoshi
lol
10:13
Crimson the Fandraxonian
lol
https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1969298_10204443313837210_5889784974613329677_n.jpg?oh=02d69ad9410926ec48f9da1878e5073a&oe=54E2B109&__gda__=1424843107_0d89fd5c9b8a05639565d3dc14685228 I should use this for bad joke reacitons
*reactions
10:14
~Fae Nanami~
There is an overweight guy who is watching TV. A commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week. So the guy, thinking what the hell, signs up for it. Next morning an incredibly beautiful woman is standing at his door in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign about her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
As soon as he sees her, she takes off running. He tries to catch her, but is unable. This continues for a week, at the end of which, the man has lost 10 pounds. After this he tries the next weight loss plan, 15 pounds in a week. The next morning an even more beautiful woman is standing at the door, in similar conditions. The same happens with her as the first woman, except he almost catches her. This continues for a week, at the end of which he, as suspected, weighs 15 pounds less. Excited about this success, he decides to do the master program. Before he signs up, he is required to sign a waiver and is warned about the intensity of this plan. Still he signs up. The next morning, waiting at the door, is a hulking 300 pound muscle man with nothing but a pair of running shoes, a raging erection, and a sign around his neck that says, "If I catch you, you're mine!" The man was supposed to lose 25 pounds in the week; he lost 34.
10:15
Nikki-Kaji
wtf
too long didn;t ready >.<
jk jk
10:15
~Fae Nanami~
omfg
i would stand still
10:15
Crimson the Fandraxonian
lololol
i prefer to be brazilian, thank you large man
now lord sgy save me
10:16
Mariao
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIGqD_sXw6g
holy shit i got pinged
Renardy has left the jam.
10:17
Crimson the Fandraxonian
what are your pings lol
10:17
Mariao
Squid Mariao SuperDuperSquid2002 GreenBloab
i just got double pinged
10:18
Crimson the Fandraxonian
o
10:18
~Fae Nanami~
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.  Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."   Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"
OMFG
OMFG
WOW
OMFG
OMFG
WHY
You are now away.
10:18
Crimson the Fandraxonian
WHAT THE FUCK
HOLY SHIT FAE
LUMOSHI LOOK AT THIS BEAUTY
You are no longer away.
10:19
Lumoshi
lol
10:19
Crimson the Fandraxonian
...</caps>
sorry lol
10:19
Mariao
http://flockdraw.com/Fantendo Flockdraw #pointlessadvertizing
10:19
Crimson the Fandraxonian
I almost typed "I almost had an explosion" but it was too awkwardly worded
.-.
10:21
Lumoshi
this website is epic
http://thisissand.com/
10:22
Crimson the Fandraxonian
i'm not clicking it
10:22
~Fae Nanami~
The Penis Study. The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason that the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex. After the US published the study, the French decided to do their own study. After $250,000 and three years of research, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex. Canadians, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After two weeks and a cost of around $75.46, and two cases of beer, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead.
canada is the smartest one of all
10:22
Crimson the Fandraxonian
lol
10:23
Lumoshi
wynaut fandroh
10:23
Crimson the Fandraxonian
it looks suspecious
10:23
Lumoshi
...how
10:23
Crimson the Fandraxonian
*clicks it*
THERE'S NOTHING IN IT
Dehydration's Grasp has joined the jam!
10:24
Crimson the Fandraxonian
hi
Spark you missed all of the amazing perverted jokes
10:24
Dehydration's Grasp
logs
10:25
Crimson the Fandraxonian
Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
this is still the best one
10:25
Lumoshi
http://pastebin.com/nawpFjPz
uh i think i pasted too much
i will make a new one