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LittleSallyDigby's Homestuck Notes

By: LittleSallyDigby on Jun 18th, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 77.63 KB  |  views: 48  |  expires: Never
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  1. John Egbert's 13th birthday is April 13 2009.
  2. John Egbert goes by ghostyTrickster.
  3. John Egbert goes by ectoBiologist.
  4. John Egbert's strife specibus is allocated to hammerkind.
  5. John Egbert has acquired a second strife specibus!
  6. John Egbert's second strife specibus is allocated to bunnykind.
  7. John Egber's symbol is the Green Slime Ghost.
  8. John Egbert's dad loves clowns to a freaky degree. He specifically uses the term "harlequins".
  9. John Egbert's dad gave him a freaky-looking toy clown for his birthday: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=001956
  10. John Egbert has a Red Box which contains the bunny from Con Air.
  11. When activated the Cruxtruder starts counting down from 4:13.
  12. John's kernelsprite has been prototyped with the Harlequin Doll.
  13. There's a thing falling from the sky. The Cruxtruder is counting down to impact.
  14. After impact John's house and surrounding areas are found to exist in a void.
  15. The Kernel divides. White half goes up; black half goes down.
  16. There's a CAPSLOCK VOICE directing John about.
  17. It is the Wayward Vagabond, somehow communicating from the not-so-distant future!
  18. John's kernelsprite has been prototyped with Nanna's ashes.
  19. John's server copy of the game is in the car that just fell down the void.
  20. John's Trick Handcuffs are missing.
  21. John's dad is just a businessman.
  22. Maybe it's John who likes clowns?
  23. John has been transported through the gate to the Land of Wind and Shade.
  24. John has received a Firefly in Amber through the LoW&S postal system.
  25. John has been rescued from a big fight by a guy with a rifle and a copy of Colonel Sassacre's book, resembling Jade's granddad...
  26. John has sent a request for his server copy of the game through the LOW&S postal system.
  27. A big mysterious convenient gust of wind has just blown out a fire in the town of the salamanders John was defending.
  28. John is called the Heir of Breath.
  29. John has taken the shortcut recommended by gallowsCalibrator.
  30. John has returned to his house, leaving the bunny with a young salamander.
  31. John has created the rocket pack with help from the trolls.
  32. John has been interrupted by a message from Future Dave telling him not to start the rocket pack.
  33. John has started the rocket pack. Like a nutjob.
  34. Thinking back, though, John recalls that Dave is a good guy who wants what's best for him, and doesn't go through the seventh gate.
  35. He goes through the second gate instead, to the Land of Light and Rain.
  36. And crashes into Rose's room, right through those walls with the writing we said was important.
  37. John has used Rose's alchemiter (with all the upgrades Jade and Dave figured out) to craft a scaled-down version of the hammer for which Davesprite gave him the code.
  38. John has gone off to explore the LoL&R.
  39. John has found the transport platform and been transportalized... to someplace in that asteroid belt the trolls mentioned? The Veil.
  40. It's a lab. It's got a four-monitor house-shaped setup and a bunch of things in jars. Somebody was here and locked the monitors to targets.
  41. John produces four young Paradox Clones of himself and his friends.
  42. John produces four young Paradox Clones of the elder family members of himself and his friends.
  43. John gives the tar-soaked bunny to baby Rose.
  44. John gives the mutant cat to baby Rose's Mom.
  45. John gives the stitched-together bunny to baby Jade.
  46. John gives the flintlock pistols to baby Jade's Granddad.
  47. John gives the copy of Sassacre's to baby John.
  48. John gives the hat to baby John's Nanna.
  49. John gives Maplehoof the pony to baby Dave.
  50. John gives Lil Cal to baby Dave's Bro.
  51. Dream John is awakened by Dream Jade.
  52. Dream John takes the white queen's ring.
  53. Dream John receives the Green Box.
  54. In the Green Box is a letter from Jade, a letter from her Mysterious Male Pen Pal, and a cyborg bunny outfitted with hella firepower yo.
  55. The Sovereign Slayer wants the white queen's ring from John. But he'll have to go through Mechabunny to get it.
  56. He runs like a bitch instead. Dream Jade is picked up by Jade's Granddad.
  57. John and Karkat are kismeses.
  58. Dream John goes to reunite with his dad (and Rose's mom) but is interrupted!
  59. Dream John has dropped the white queen's ring.
  60. John got the server copy of the Sburb beta!
  61. John did the windy thing!
  62. John has reached the top of his echeladder and become the Heir Transparent.
  63. John went to the Quest Bed to take a Legendary Nap and begin climbing the God Tiers.
  64. And then Jack stabbed him.
  65. John's screen winked out but he woke up in his dream self, who has cool new clothes now.
  66. John's god tier symbol is the Blue Gust.
  67. John is using the Windy Thing to drill into the battlefield with a big fucking tornado.
  68. John has the Tumor. It's got a ticking clock on it.
  69. John has the bunny back!
  70. But... not the weapons...
  71. Except the hammer!
  72. Note from Jade's pen pal: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005575
  73. The bunny's green eye (the enlarger) has been eaten by the Warweary Villein.
  74. John gives the bunny, the Villein, and the Droll a mission: to take his wallet with the Tumor and get it to dream-Rose on Derse.
  75. John has given away his computer. Somehow.
  76. John has gone into the grimdarkness and vanished from the timeline.
  77. Rose has led John to the scene of their parents' deaths, where they confront Jack...
  78. who effortlessly stabs John to death.
  79. John comes back, though. Heroic or just, remember? But Rose is dead.
  80. John got Rose's strife specibus: needlekind.
  81. John's denizen is called Typheus.
  82. Alternate John (the John who got killed thanks to Terezi's meddling) is in a bubble with Vriska. He says Typheus isn't pretty to look at but he's not a bad guy either.
  83. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006192
  84. John got GIFT OF GAB.
  85. John and Jade are on the battleship, traversing the Yellow Yard between game sessions. It is of course the yardstick Hussie wouldn't shut up about.
  86.  
  87. John's neighborhood. In the past. December 1, 1995. A few months before he was born. The neighborhood contains a Betty Crocker factory.
  88. John has long considered Betty Crocker his nemesis.
  89. In the same neighborhood on the day of John's birth, the Crocker factory has since been destroyed by meteor.
  90. Rose's mother is there with the young Rose, passing the family joke shop where John's dad and Nanna work.
  91. The joke shop is hit by meteor, killing Nanna.
  92. Rose's mom flees.
  93.  
  94. John's dad has been kidnapped!
  95. But escaped using the Trick Handcuffs!
  96. Archagent Jack Noir is observing him.
  97. Archagent Jack Noir wears a spade. (He is this instance's version of Spades Slick.)
  98. Archagent Jack Noir has a barcode-like wrist marking.
  99. Archagent Jack Noir lets John's dad go in exchange for the destruction of his hat.
  100. Archagent Jack Noir has given a Regisword and a Hit List to the Parcel Mistress, as he tends to do with anyone who enters his office and looks gullible enough to actually take an order like that.
  101. Archagent Jack Noir has opened the Green Box. He is surprised.
  102. Archagent Jack Noir has used what is in the Green Box and killed the Black Queen.
  103. Archagent Jack Noir has taken the Black Queen's ring.
  104. Archagent Jack Noir has become the Sovereign Slayer.
  105. After wrecking Skaia and the planet where the White Royals live, the Sovereign Slayer proceeds to fight Dave's Bro... somewhere... and kill him. And take Little Cal.
  106. Jack has killed John's dad and Rose's mom.
  107. Jack keeps thinking dog thoughts. Bec thoughts, even. Love for Jade and shit. He came up to her sleeping dream self and tried to kill her but couldn't go through with it. So he orders his people to go handle that.
  108. Jack blew up the ship being used to get the Tumor to the moon!
  109.  
  110. John's Dad is fighting things in the Land of Wind & Shade!
  111. John's Dad has encountered... Jade's granddad?
  112. John's Dad and maybe-Jade's-granddad have transportalized somewhere.
  113.  
  114. One of John's Dad's friends is (somehow) dying on a quest bed... http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005855
  115. Betty Crocker isn't human...
  116.  
  117. The thing at the center of Black Territory currently looks like an amalgam of everything the kernelsprites have been prototyped with.
  118. It is the Black Queen.
  119. It has directed the Parcel Mistress to the office of the Archagent.
  120.  
  121. Rose Lalonde's symbol is the Purple Skull.
  122. Dream Rose wears purple.
  123. Rose Lalonde goes by tentacleTherapist.
  124. Rose Lalonde's birthday is December 4th.
  125. Rose Lalonde has a Purple Package, presumably intended as a container for John's unfinished birthday present. The Purple Package's contents are private!
  126. Rose Lalonde's mother collects wizards.
  127. Rose Lalonde's strife specibus is allocated to needlekind.
  128. Rose Lalonde has a Blue Box. It is where she got her knitting supplies.
  129. Rose Lalonde is in a big-ass laboratory under a mausoleum built for her dead cat. It contains something called a hubgrid. Hub 0413 is unlocked, and transmitting the wireless signal she's been using.
  130. When we first see Rose's timer it appears to have been going for years and is at 3:14.
  131. Rose Lalonde's cat Jaspers has a Secret.
  132. Rose has escapalized... back to her house? Which is now on fire.
  133. Rose has entered the game as client to Dave's server. Her key item is a Purple Bottle.
  134. Rose's kernelsprite has been prototyped with Jaspers and the Princess Old One Doll.
  135. Rose has been transported to a Land of Light and Rain.
  136. Rose is receiving communication (the same way the PM and WV have talked to John).
  137. Rose has discovered evidence of her mother's presence in this Land, and that she's untied a boat and sailed away.
  138. Rose is called the Seer of Light.
  139. Rose's guiding voice is much fancier-looking than the others.
  140. Rose's guiding voice is... leaving.
  141. Rose's Denizen has eaten everything in the ocean in the LoL&R.
  142. Rose is getting the same kind of "wake up" messages from Jaspersprite that John has been getting from Jade. Including mentions of writing on her walls that she isn't aware of.
  143. Rose's guiding voice was the Windswept Questant, formerly the exiled White Queen.
  144. Rose's unseen writing is genetic code, expressed using the letters MEOW instead of GCAT.
  145. Dream Rose's symbol is the Purple Crescent Moon.
  146. The Purple Package contains Rose's old stuffed bunny, which she's fixed up using her knitting kit. Holy damn that's emotional.
  147. The bunny in the Purple Package resembles the bunny from Con Air to an uncanny degree.
  148. John punched through Rose's wall. Also her writing.
  149. John left his salamander in Rose's room.
  150. Rose wakes up.
  151. Rose builds a bunch of shit and begins to kick hella ass.
  152. Also she burns her MEOW journal.
  153. Rose gets fed up and blows up her first Gate rather than go through it.
  154. The Green Sun is a huge star (nearly twice the mass of the universe) in the Furthest Ring, the power source for all First Guardians. Doc Scratch's job is done and he wants to die, so he helps Rose hatch a plan to destroy the Green Sun.
  155. The Tumor at the center of the battlefield is a very powerful bomb, capable of destroying the Green Sun. Rose wants John to deliver it to her dream self. Meanwhile, Dave will go to sleep and the gods will tell him how to find the sun. He will make a map, and Rose will plot a course there and destroy the Green Sun in a suicide mission. Ideally this will negate Jack's First Guardian powers and make him mortal and vincible again.
  156. Rose is on the lava planet, talking to Doc Scratch.
  157. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005527
  158. Doc says the Beat Mesa (a large plateau shaped like a record, on the Land of Heat & Clockwork) is the game construct supplied by Rose's session for creating the Scratch. The Scratch is supposed to be a panic button for players who know they can no longer win the game.
  159. The construct must be destroyed in a very specific way to release the Scratch. Dave's bro started the process.
  160. A needle must be dragged across the full diameter of the mesa. The sort of needle capable of adequately breaching the surface can be acquired from the denizen of the Witch of Space.
  161. The Scratch is a reset button. For the universe.
  162. A god tier will live forever unless killed, and can only have a death which is heroic or just.
  163. Lord English is a title, not a name.
  164. Scratch implies the Old Gods have been using Rose.
  165. Jade tells Rose about her mom's death.
  166. Jade asks Rose to ask the magic cue ball (Scratch's "seed") about the Old Gods- specifically, whether they're evil.
  167. Rose asks. The cue ball answers. And Rose's screen on the Trollian timeline goes to black.
  168. Rose has GONE (GRIM)DARK: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005543
  169. Rose and John confront Jack at the scene of their parents' deaths. John is killed. So is Rose. John comes back though, and picks up Rose's strife specibus. Then he kisses Rose, and she comes back in her dream self.
  170. Rose knocked Dave out and took the suicide mission. She may have been unknowingly accompanied by the Draconian Dignitary.
  171.  
  172. On the day of John's birth, Rose's mother is in John's neighborhood with the young Rose, passing the family joke shop where John's dad and Nanna work.
  173. The joke shop is hit by meteor, killing Nanna.
  174. Rose's mom flees, carrying Rose and her stuffed beaten-to-hell bunny.
  175.  
  176. Rose's mom and the pony, Maplehoof, have gone off to somewhere else in the LoL&R.
  177. Rose's mom and Maplehoof have transportalized themselves somewhere still else!
  178. Rose's mom has gotten her scarf back from John's dad.
  179. Rose's mom and John's dad and Jade's grandpa are on a space-boat heading to Skaia. With weapons.
  180. Rose's mom and John's dad arrive on Skaia. Jade's granddad leaves.
  181. Rose's mom and John's dad are getting along nicely.
  182. Rose's mom and John's dad are dead at the hands of Jack Noir.
  183.  
  184. Dave Strider's symbol is the Red Record.
  185. Dave Strider's birthday is December 3rd.
  186. Dave Strider goes by turntechGodhead.
  187. Dave Strider has a Blue Box in which John recently sent him a pair of sunglasses once worn by Ben Stiller.
  188. Dave Strider's copy of Sburb was stolen by a bird that flew in through his window and subsequently vanished.
  189. Dave Strider's strife specibus is allocated to bladekind.
  190. Dave Strider's bro collects puppets. And dangerous things.
  191. Dave Strider has entered the game as server to Rose's client, using the copy of the game marked for his bro.
  192. Dave Strider has entered the game as client to Jade's server.
  193. Dave's cruxtruder has been activated. The cruxite was smashed but the timer starts with 4 hours 13 minutes.
  194. Dave's kernelsprite has been prototyped with the Sworded Bird.
  195. Dave has crafted a primary item- the Red Egg.
  196. Dave's kernelsprite has- absconded with the Red Egg?
  197. Dave has picked up his copy of the beta.
  198. Dave is upgrading the crap out of his alchemiter.
  199. Dave is called the Knight of Time.
  200. The Red Egg fell from the nest when Dave tried to hatch it in time for the meteor impact.
  201. Dave's bro was RIDING THE METEOR and saved him from the impact by chopping the meteor in half.
  202. Dave's kernelsprite has been prototyped with Future Dave.
  203. Dream Dave... has been awake the whole time?
  204. Dream Dave has drawings of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff on his walls.
  205. Dream Rose just pitched Cal out of Dave's dream room.
  206. Davesprite gave John a code for a bitchin' hammer. He says he got it from Hephaestus and that Hephaestus is "[a] really hard to kill dude".
  207. Hephaestus is also the name of Dave's web browser.
  208. Dave has used his juice-stained beta to mark his place in his copy of Rose's creative writing project. And left the resulting composite in his room.
  209. Dave split into two timelines to ascend to god tier- one to kill the other. But he didn't go through with it. Terezi says he never gets to god tier, but that's fine.
  210. Dave's god tier symbol is the Red Gear.
  211. Jack showed up and killed the fuck out of spare!Dave.
  212. Dave is talking to Terezi. The coin flip has happened for him, but its consequences haven't. Dave has an exile who's talking to him about justice, in a law enforcement sense. It's the Aimless Renegade, about to detonate the shuttles.
  213. Dave is helping Jade find frogs.
  214. Jack shows up and kills Dave. But Jade kisses him alive again.
  215. Dave moved to his dream self and went to make Rose's map and decide which of them would pilot the moon and throw the Tumor into the sun. Dave chopped the moon loose from its chain using a surprise broken sword found at said chain's base.
  216. Rose knocked Dave out and took the suicide mission.
  217. Dave's denizen is called Hephaestus. He can fix anything, but only one thing. Davesprite asked him to fix caledfwlch.
  218. Dave is going after Rose.
  219. Dave has reached Rose.
  220.  
  221. Dave is dreaming. Aradia is there. But... he's not his dream self on Derse; he's actually dreaming... This is spare!Dave. The Dave who asked to wait to be told how to achieve god tier.
  222. Spare!Dave is in a bubble, a realm shaped by thought which borders between normal reality and the afterlife. And Tavros is there.
  223.  
  224. Dave's bro, in December 1995, has just witnessed the destruction of his favorite record shop by meteor.
  225.  
  226. BAD FUTURE
  227. Dave has arrived in the Land of Heat and Clockwork with Calsprite.
  228. John skipped ahead according to GC's info and got dead.
  229. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003543
  230. But then BF Dave went back in time to the present!
  231. And BF Rose went to sleep, in hopes of surviving the doomed timeline through her dreams!
  232.  
  233. Lil Cal landed... on the rocket pack?
  234. Lil Cal and the Authority Regulator have transportalized somewhere.
  235.  
  236. Something blew up outside of GG's house.
  237. It was another meteor impact!
  238. "bec" doesn't want her to go near the impact.
  239. GG knows stuff.
  240. GG knows that John will lose his birthday present from her, but then find it again when he really needs it.
  241. gardenGnostic is Jade Harley.
  242. Jade Harley's symbol is the Blue Atom.
  243. Dream Jade wears yellow.
  244. Jade Harley's birthday is December 1st.
  245. Jade Harley's strife specibus is allocated to riflekind.
  246. Jade Harley is in a strange place, possibly the past, where refrigerators aren't called refrigerators.
  247. Jade Harley has a Blue Box on the way!
  248. Jade Harley has a computer with some sort of holographic interface.
  249. Jade Harley does not give two fucks about your fourth wall.
  250. Jade Harley is in the same world on the same day, as far as Pesterchum can tell us.
  251. Jade Harley's badass granddad collects Valiant Knights. And Decrepit Mummies. And Beautiful Ladies. ("Daughters of Eclectica.")
  252. Jade Harley's granddad is dead.
  253. Jade Harley's pet/friend Becquerel is the shape of the mutant cat and the symbol on the pumpkin.
  254. Becquerel is some sort of space warp?
  255. Jade Harley has the Blue Box... but has arranged for it to be appearified in the future by the Wayward Vagabond!
  256. Jade Harley has narcolepsy and uses a prosthetic extra body (her dreambot) to get around and do things in her dream interpretation of the real world while her real body is asleep. Dave knows about this and thinks it's weird but true.
  257. Jade Harley's dream world is occupied by a sleeping John Egbert.
  258. Jade Harley sent the birthday present from John Egbert into her own past.
  259. Jade Harley received Dave's copy of the game through a long-term time capsule.
  260. The time capsule has reset itself, showing a remaining time of 413 years, 12 hours, 3 minutes, 12 seconds.
  261. Jade Harley has captchalogued a Pumpkin Ghost Image, obtaining a valid captchalogue code for a pumpkin... or not.
  262. Jade Harley has inadvertently left some of her loot, including the refrigerator, cookalizer, and bass, in the temple by the time capsule.
  263. Jade Harley was told in the past by a troll to contact them when her robot blows up. And that this was a message from her future self.
  264. The Green Box was prepared in tandem by Jade and a pen pal of hers with access to an Appearifier.
  265. Dream Jade has beaten up the Courtyard Droll and reclaimed the White Queen's Ring.
  266. Putting the ring on Jade's finger doesn't do anything.
  267. Jade's granddad owns Betty Crocker.
  268. Jade is in the same time period as the other kids.
  269. Dream Jade sees the Sovereign Slayer wrecking the planet on whose moon she and Dream John live and cutting its moon loose as it falls toward Skaia.
  270. Dream Jade wakes up Dream John- but... dies? in the process.
  271. Jade's robot blew up!
  272. Jade has entered the game as John's client.
  273. Jade's key item is the green Becquerel-pinata.
  274. Jade's kernelsprite has been prototyped with Becquerel. This is terrible, because Becquerel is a First Guardian.
  275. Jade is in the Land of Frost and Frogs.
  276. Jade is makin' shit! http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005041
  277. Jade's penpal says he's her grandson. o.O
  278. Jade threw her dream-self's stuffed corpse into Becquerelsprite. Hoo boy.
  279. Jadesprite seems horrified by her existence. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005114
  280. The fourth wall is broken. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005126
  281. Jade's objective is to breed the Genesis Frog.
  282. The Genesis Frog (Bilious Slick, the Speaker of the Vast Croak) is your universe.
  283. Jade is called the Witch of Space.
  284. According to Future Jade, she's going to get the needle from the denizen through "shenanigans", then hand off to John and proceed with her plan to make sure everyone who's left after the Green Sun blows up also survives the Scratch. The plan for this comes from Doc and involves "a yellow lawn ring" or "unwatered piece of residential property", according to Karkat.
  285. There's also a plan for the trolls to survive: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005772
  286. Jade's denizen is called Echidna. Echidna and Jade have an "understanding."
  287. Echidna helped Jade find the last frog she needed to create Bilious, but made Jade promise that in exchange she would make sure the denizens and their worlds would go with her to where she goes next.
  288. Jade got killed by the Courtyard Droll with a shaving-cream bomb rigged from John's dad's wallet's contents. And then Jack took her to a quest bed...
  289. Jade is god tier, bitches.
  290. Jade's god tier symbol is the Green Galaxy.
  291. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006193
  292. Jade got GIFT OF GAB.
  293.  
  294. Jade in December 1995 has John's Rose's stitched-up bunny rabbit.
  295.  
  296. John's Nanna is a baby, taken in by Colonel Sassacre after being found in a crater on April 13 1910.
  297. On April 21 1910 a meteor lands in the Colonel's back yard, destroying his doghouse.
  298. The meteor is in fact baby Jade's Granddad, who kills the Colonel with a flintlock pistol matching the one from the lab.
  299. The Colonel's dog survived. He was called Halley; the baby Jade's Granddad calls him "Harley".
  300. Thirteen years later the boy leaves home, leaving his sister with their baker grandmother.
  301.  
  302. The Aimless Renegade was once (in the kids' era) an Authority Regulator, under an Authority symbolized by a pentagon with two towers sticking out of it, similar to the Becquerel symbol. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003358
  303. The plus/minus symbol actually indicates the King, as in chess.
  304. The Authority Regulator has confiscated John's Green Box (present from Jade) and his server copy of the game! Oh noes!
  305. The Authority Regulator handed over the game to the Parcel Mistress and the box to Archagent Jack Noir.
  306. Lil Cal and the Authority Regulator have transportalized somewhere.
  307. The Authority Regulator is in the Veil, discovering what looks like Jade's island. Inside is a screen displaying the year 1910 and a time capsule waiting for a payload.
  308. The Draconian Dignitary appears, carrying the journals which hold Dave's copy of the beta. He discards the spare notebook and the beta, the envelopes landing in the time capsule. It will open 413 million years from now. It has also prepared a new seed.
  309.  
  310. In the same era, the Peregrine Mendicant is a Parcel Mistress.
  311. She is carrying instructions (from Jade) to deliver the Green Box. She has been looking for it for a long time.
  312. She has just received a request for John's server copy of the game from John.
  313. Using the request as signed authorization, she has obtained John's server copy.
  314. John's server copy has been rendered unto the will of the pipes.
  315. John's Green Box remains with the Authority Regulator, whom the Parcel Mistress now follows.
  316. The Parcel Mistress discovers the Green Box in the office of the Archagent.
  317. The Parcel Mistress has a mysterious Bar Code Pattern on her wrist.
  318. The Parcel Mistress has been charged to bring Archagent Jack Noir the crowns of the White King & Queen in exchange for the Green Box.
  319. The Parcel Mistress is actually trying this shit.
  320. The White Queen looks just like the Black Queen. Only, y'know, white.
  321. The White Queen hands over her crown to the Parcel Mistress.
  322. The Parcel Mistress has traveled to Prospit's moon to board a shuttle headed for the battlefield, where she can seek the counsel of the White King... unknowingly trailed by a Courtyard Droll (Club-wearing, looking like Clubs Deuce from the trolls' instance) from Derse.
  323. Less one ring and none the wiser, the Parcel Mistress takes off for Skaia.
  324. The Parcel Mistress kills the Hegemonic Brute and arranges a meeting with the Sovereign Slayer.
  325. She swaps the crowns for the Green Box and delivers it to Dream John.
  326.  
  327. The Courtyard Droll (Clubs Deuce from the trolls' instance) has stolen the White Queen's Ring.
  328. The Courtyard Droll is working with the Draconian Dignitary (Diamonds Droog from the trolls' instance) and the Hegemonic Brute (presumably Hearts Boxcars from the trolls' instance). They follow the newly crowned Sovereign Slayer.
  329. The Courtyard Droll has lost the ring to Dream Jade.
  330. The Courtyard Droll is on the battlefield with the cyborg bunny, and has been ordered to go kill Dream Jade.
  331.  
  332. The Draconian Dignitary is in Dave's room.
  333. The Draconian Dignitary took Rose's books. Including the one she burned the original of.
  334. The Draconian Dignitary is using the code to create Becquerel in the lab on the island in the Veil.
  335.  
  336. TIMELESS EXPANSE (on Skaia, right now):
  337. A Warweary Villein rues eternal struggle between feuding royalty.
  338. The Parcel Mistress arrives and receives the White King's Crown but not his Scepter.
  339. The Sovereign Slayer arrives and kills the Black King, taking his crown but destroying his scepter.
  340. Meanwhile, the pawns rise up against their kings and queens, regardless of color...
  341. The Sovereign Slayer kills the shit out of the pawns. And everyone else. He's got the White King's Scepter! He is fucking wrecking Skaia.
  342. The Warweary Villein is exiled. He finds Dream John's blanket and makes it into his new robe.
  343. The Warweary Villein gets the white queen's ring from where Dream John dropped it.
  344. The Villein goes on John's mission to deliver the Tumor to Derse, but the ship is destroyed by Jack, and he ends up exiled. Liv Tyler takes an escape pod and continues Derseward with the Tumor.
  345.  
  346. YEARS IN THE FUTURE:
  347. The key items determine the shapes of the terminal stations.
  348.  
  349. The Wayward Vagabond finds a thing with the in-game Sburb logo under the desert sand.
  350. The Wayward Vagabond has a mysterious Bar Code Pattern on his wrist.
  351. The Wayward Vagabond wields as a knife a Mailbox Flag.
  352. The Wayward Vagabond HATES KINGS.
  353. The Wayward Vagabond consistently eats green things.
  354. The Wayward Vagabond's screens display different players at different points in time.
  355. The Wayward Vagabond's screens display a countdown starting at 4:13:00.
  356. The Wayward Vagabond is carrying the White Queen's Ring.
  357.  
  358. The Peregrine Mendicant has a letter addressed to Dr. David Brinner.
  359. The Peregrine Mendicant has a barcode-like wrist marking.
  360. The Peregrine Mendicant attempts to contact Jade and causes an explosion.
  361. After the crash, the Wayward Vagabond is instructed to give the Blue Box to the Peregrine Mendicant.
  362. The Peregrine Mendicant runs to John's screen to tell him to make the carving she received in the past and drop it into the pipe. Fucking time loop!
  363.  
  364. The Aimless Renegade's elevator is stuck due to the presence of Jade Harley's bass.
  365. The Aimless Renegade flips the fuck out at the sight of the Becquerel symbol on the pumpkin. Subsequently he abandons his attack on PM & WV and becomes friendly.
  366.  
  367. A huge eggy looking thing just appeared in the sky!
  368. A Windswept Questant just teleported out of the egg!
  369. The WV & AR construct a crown to give to the Windswept Questant... who bestows it instead upon the Peregrine Mendicant!
  370.  
  371. The WV is stuck in the capsule as the other exiles prep to destroy it.
  372. The WV has gone to sleep.
  373. The WV's dreamself has been Becquerel'd! Jack'd, even! With the green rock still inside him!
  374. "RED MILES"
  375. ... I think he just killed all the other pawns...
  376. And now Vriska is there.
  377.  
  378. The Writ Keeper is in the time capsule. He's going to wake up and get his hands on Complacency of the Learned.
  379. The Wayward Vagabond is holding the ring to eventually become a Wastelandic Vindicator.
  380. The Aimless Renegade will become an Armaments Regent.
  381.  
  382. The Writ Keeper came out of the capsule with the book- but something else is coming out next... and it's Jack! He kills the WK. And the WQ. And the AR and the WV. He takes the Green Rock and transportalizes into the trolls' session.
  383.  
  384. TROLLS
  385.  
  386. gallowsCalibrator is blind, female, and trying to fuck with the timeline.
  387. gallowsCalibrator uses the sign for Libra.
  388. gC TYP3S W1TH C4PSLOCK ON 4ND TH3 D1G1TS 1,3, & 4 R3PL4C1NG TH3 N1NTH, F1FTH, & F1RST L3TT3RS OF TH3 4LPH4B3T, R3SP3CT1V3LY.
  389. gC has received captcha codes for a cement block, a flowerpot, and a violin from John's friends at different points in the timeline.
  390. gC is called Terezi Pyrope.
  391. Terezi's strife specibus is allotted to canekind.
  392. Terezi is the Seer of Mind.
  393. Terezi is in the Land of Thought & Flow.
  394. Terezi is being advised by a Queen, or maybe a King.
  395. Terezi uses a Scratch And Sniff modus.
  396. Terezi has been mentoring Dave.
  397. Terezi saw spare!Dave get murdered and ran away.
  398. Terezi is missing some blood...
  399. Terezi has an ancestor: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005418
  400.  
  401. grimAuxiliatrix uses the sign for Virgo.
  402. grimAuxiliatrix Types With A Capital Letter At The Beginning Of Each Word.
  403. grimAuxiliatrix is called Kanaya Maryam.
  404. Kanaya's strife specibus is allotted to Makeupkind.
  405. Kanaya uses a Chastity Modus. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004237
  406. Kanaya reads about vampires, which are more complicated but still romantic somehow on Alternia.
  407. Kanaya and Vriska are moirails. Maybe.
  408. Kanaya has been reading Rose's walkthrough.
  409. Kanaya is Vriska's server.
  410. Kanaya is the Sylph of Space.
  411. Kanaya is in the Land of Rays & ?????.
  412. Kanaya has found the key for her matriorb card!
  413. Eridan blew up the matriorb.
  414. Eridan killed Kanaya.
  415. Kanaya's body is missing!
  416. Kanaya is moving.
  417. Kanaya beat up Gamzee and Vriska!
  418. Kanaya murdered the SHIT out of Eridan. And took his glasses.
  419. Vriska has teh RED HOT HOTS for Kanaya.
  420. Kanaya has an ancestor? http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005957
  421.  
  422. adiosToreador uses the sign for Taurus.
  423. adiosToreador USES CAPSLOCK BUT STILL USES THE sHIFT KEY AS IF NOT USING CAPSLOCK.
  424. adiosToreador wants Rose's advice on how to get Dave's goat.
  425. adiosToreador is called Tavros Nitram.
  426. Tavros uses a wheelchair.
  427. Tavros's strife specibus is allocated to lancekind.
  428. Tavros was paralyzed in a LARPing incident wherein Vriska took shit TOO FAR.
  429. Tavros is the Page of Breath.
  430. Tavros has arrived in the Land of Sand & Zephyr.
  431. Vriska is Tavros's server.
  432. Tavros has proceeded to the Land of Maps & Treasure.
  433. Tavros was killed by dream!godtier!Vriska.
  434. Tavros has an ancestor. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005658
  435. Terezi kissed Tavros back? http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005770
  436.  
  437. carcinoGeneticist uses the sign for Cancer.
  438. carcinoGeneticist JUST USES PLAIN OLD NO FRILLS CAPSLOCK.
  439. carcinoGeneticist is called Karkat Vantas.
  440. Karkat is basically angry all the fucking time.
  441. Karkat uses an encrypted modus.
  442. Karkat is the Knight of Blood.
  443. Karkat's first realm is the Land of Pulse and Haze.
  444. Karkat has red blood. That's freaky for a troll.
  445. Karkat is Sollux's server.
  446. Karkat matesprits Terezi.
  447. John is Karkat's kismesis.
  448. Karkat has an ancestor. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005658
  449. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005955
  450. Karkat calmed Gamzee down.
  451.  
  452. twinArmageddons uses the sign for Gemini.
  453. twinArmageddons type2 iin all lowerca2e, replace2 the niineteenth letter of the alphabet wiith the diigiit 2, type2 "two" instead of "to", and double2 the niinth letter of the alphabet.
  454. twinArmageddons is basically the sysadmin.
  455. twinArmageddons is called Sollux Captor.
  456. Sollux is a high-level psionic and doesn't need to allocate a specific type of strife specibus.
  457. Aradia and Sollux were romantically involved.
  458. Sollux is Feferi's server.
  459. Sollux is Karkat's client.
  460. Sollux is... dead.
  461. But not Dream Sollux. o.o Or Other Dream Sollux.
  462. Sollux is the Mage of Doom.
  463. Sollux is in the Land of Brains & Fire.
  464. Feferi and Sollux totally dig each other.
  465. Sollux got KO'd.
  466. Sollux woke up! But he's blind now, and can't talk much 'cause his teeth got knocked out.
  467. Sollux has the ability to hear the voices of the soon to be dead... but they've shut up recently.
  468. After being blinded, twinArmagedd0ns types in all l0wercase, but has aband0ned his usual duality-based typing quirks and n0w replaces the fifteenth letter 0f the alphabet with a zer0.
  469. Sollux has an ancestor. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005958
  470.  
  471. terminallyCapricious uses the sign for Capricornus.
  472. terminallyCapricious TyPeS cApItAlIzInG eVeRy SeCoNd LeTtEr.
  473. terminallyCapricious is called Gamzee Makara.
  474. Gamzee is basically a juggalo.
  475. Gamzee uses a Miracle Modus.
  476. Gamzee's strife specibus is allocated to clubkind.
  477. Gamzee is in the Land of Tents and Mirth.
  478. Apparently Gamzee next-to-killed the Black King? http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005260
  479. Gamzee has seen ICP and gone fucking murderinsane.
  480. Gamzee killed Equius.
  481. Gamzee has an ancestor: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005414
  482. GAMZEE FUCKED UP EVERYONE'S DREAMS.
  483. Karkat calmed Gamzee down.
  484. Gamzee is the Bard of Rage.
  485. Gamzee was on the Land of Crypts and Helium messing with Jane.
  486. Gamzee was only pretending to be a god tier.
  487. Gamzee was on Caliborn's world when Caliborn shot the everloving fuck out of him.
  488.  
  489. arsenicCatnip uses the sign for Leo.
  490. :33 < arsenicCatnip replaces double instances of the fifth letter with pairs of the third digit, uses that emoticon-with-sp33ch-bubble thing to precede her posts, and replaces the syllable "per" with "purr"
  491. arsenicCatnip is called Nepeta Leijon.
  492. Nepeta's strife specibus is allocated to Clawkind.
  493. Nepeta is in the Land of Little Cubes & Tea.
  494. Nepeta is the Rogue of Heart.
  495. Nepeta is dead on account of Gamzee.
  496. Nepeta has an ancestor. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005958
  497.  
  498. apocalypseArisen uses the sign for Aries.
  499. apocalypseArisen types in all l0wercase and replaces the fifteenth letter with the tenth digit, like s0.
  500. apocalypseArisen is called Aradia Megido.
  501. Aradia uses a Ouija board fetch modus.
  502. Aradia has prototyped her kernelsprite with the Frog Statue Head.
  503. Aradia has arrived in the Land of Quartz and Melody.
  504. Aradia is the Maid of Time.
  505. Aradia has been dead the entire time.
  506. Aradia and Sollux were romantically involved.
  507. Aradia is Equius's server.
  508. Aradiabot blew up!
  509. Aradia's dreamself is awake, and alive, and god tier, and may have frozen Jack in time (in his future, after he enters the trolls' session and wrecks the place).
  510. An Aradiabot that got wrecked fighting Jack took Little Cal and went flying through a portal into Aradia's past. Her impact led the young Aradia to find the frog temple. Also contained within Cal she found John's dad's wallet, holding cards for a hat and the Crosbytop.
  511. Aradia is viewing the past with Sollux and Jade and an Aradiabot and Kanaya. There's another code...
  512. Tavros: t1ck
  513. Aradia: t0ck
  514. Vriska: 8r8k
  515. Terezi: H34DS
  516. Gamzee: honk HONK
  517. This code was combined with captcha codes for Lil Cal (in the green suit Kanaya made him) and Vriska's magic cue ball to create Doc Scratch.
  518. Aradia's ancestor is in Scratch's building banging on his walls. Specifically the fifth wall, which separates him from Andrew Hussie, with whom he wants nothing to do.
  519.  
  520. arachnidsGrip uses the sign for Scorpio.
  521. arachnidsGrip types in normal cases, 8ut replaces the second letter of the alpha8et (and any sylla8les that sound like the name of the eighth digit) with the eighth digit.
  522. arachnidsGrip is called Vriska Serket.
  523. Vriska's strife specibus is allotted to Dicekind.
  524. Vriska is herself being trolled/manipulated by someone else.
  525. Vriska has a robotic arm that Equius built, and can still control to some degree.
  526. Vriska is convinced a killer is a killer is a killer. The White Text Guy is probably at least somewhat responsible.
  527. Kanaya and Vriska are moirails. Maybe.
  528. Vriska is the Thief of Light.
  529. Eridan and Vriska are kismeses. Maybe.
  530. Vriska used Tavros to use Terezi's lusus to make Terezi sleepwalk and stare into the sun so she'd go blind.
  531. Vriska is Kanaya's client.
  532. Vriska fucked up John's attempt to bring Jade into the game.
  533. Vriska ascended to god tier. Nobody else in her session did. As far as Terezi knows.
  534. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005030
  535. I think dream!godtier!Vriska just killed Tavros.
  536. Yep.
  537. Vriska (says she) feels bad about it though. She wasn't expecting that.
  538. Vriska has an ancestor! http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005375 And so does John.
  539. Vriska's ancestor's journal: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005407
  540. And more: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005646
  541. Vriska is leaving to go fight Jack.
  542. Terezi kills her to stop her.
  543. Vriska is leaving John the code for her dice: 82THE8TH
  544. Vriska likes John. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005756
  545.  
  546. centaursTesticle uses the sign for Sagittarius.
  547. D--> centaursTesticle starts each message with a bow and arrow, replaces the twenty-fourth letter with the percent symbol, and (when they appear together in groups of three or more) replaces the twelfth and fifteenth letters with the first and tenth digits respectively.
  548. centaursTesticle is called Equius Zahhak. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004111
  549. Equius is pissed all the time, like Karkat, but actually takes it out on things more often, to a potentially terrifying degree.
  550. Equius is strong. Like. Breaks shit completely by accident strong. Freaky.
  551. Equius's strife specibus is allocated to 1/2bowkind. He also keeps a fistkind and a bowkind card in his strife portfolio.
  552. He builds robots. He has built Vriska a cybernetic arm, and an Aradiabot.
  553. He has arrived in a Land of Caves & Silence.
  554. Equius is the Heir of Void.
  555. Equius has an ancestor. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005655
  556.  
  557. cuttlefishCuller uses the sign for Pisces.
  558. cuttlefishCuller replaces t)(e eig)(t)( letter of t)(e alp)(abet wit)( a pair of parent)(eses in t)(e s)(ape of said sign, and precedes capital instances of the fifth letter with a hyphen to form a trident.
  559. cuttlefishCuller is called Feferi Peixes.
  560. Feferi is like Fluttershy except with ambition. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004341
  561. Eridan and Feferi are moirails. Maybe.
  562. Feferi would rather be Eridan's... just friend.
  563. Feferi's strife specibus is allotted to doubletridentkind.
  564. Feferi is the Witch of Life.
  565. Feferi has arrived in the Land of Dew and Glass.
  566. Feferi is Sollux's client.
  567. Feferi and Sollux totally dig each other.
  568. Feferi is dead.
  569. Feferi has an ancestor: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005963
  570.  
  571. caligulasAquarium uses the sign for Aquarius.
  572. caligulasAquarium types in all lowwercase and doubles all instances of the twwenty-third and twwenty-fourth letters.
  573. caligulasAquarium is called Eridan Ampora.
  574. Eridan and Feferi are moirails. Maybe.
  575. Eridan and Vriska are kismeses. Maybe.
  576. Eridan would rather be Feferi's... matesprit!
  577. Eridan's strife specibus is allotted to riflekind.
  578. Eridan wants to join Jack. He fought Sollux and knocked him out.
  579. This pissed Feferi off. So he killed her.
  580. Eridan has an ancestor: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005408
  581.  
  582. White Text Guy claims to be working to bring about his employer's entry into the trolls' universe. He only ever intervenes from a position several stages removed, nudging things onto their proper course.
  583. White Text Guy is known as Doc Scratch.
  584. Scratch works for Lord English.
  585. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004153
  586. ... is Becquerel Earth's First Guardian?
  587. Scratch is helping Rose hatch plans because he wants to die.
  588. Scratch is hosting Spades Slick because he wants him to do something.
  589. Snowman has shown up.
  590. Snowman and Slick are kissmessing.
  591. Scratch beat the hell out of Slick for that.
  592. Scratch keeps something locked up and it wants out.
  593. Scratch's building is on Alternia's green moon.
  594. Scratch just turned into... something.
  595. Also something else broke out through the fourth wall...
  596.  
  597. ========================================================
  598. POST SCRATCH
  599. or
  600. ALPHA TIMELINE
  601. or
  602. MAYBE BOTH
  603.  
  604. Today is November 11, 2011. Also known as 2X3PRONG DAY, whatever that means. It is the release of the game alpha, which is coming out through Crockercorp for some reason.
  605. Not!John's symbol is the Blue Slime Ghost.
  606. Not!John is called Jane Crocker. That's ominous.
  607. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006017
  608. Jane Crocker is of course heiress to the baked goods empire.
  609. Jane is 15 and about a half as of 11/11/11.
  610. Jane has been besieged by disappearing vegetables.
  611. Jane is forbidden from leaving the house due to recent events. Assassination attempt events.
  612. Jane has a recipe fetch modus. Instead of a captcha code it displays an alchemic recipe.
  613. Jane has a favorite hat. It looks like a beat-up version of John's dad's hat.
  614. Jane's strife specibus is allocated to spoonkind.
  615. Jane's fancy spoon has a switch that doesn't seem to do anything.
  616. Jane has a custom bunny from John from John's grandma and a custom bunny from Lalonde from Lalonde's mom. And a homemade bunny from Strider.
  617. Jane uses a browser called Hemera and an IM system called BettyBother.
  618. Mars? http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006035
  619. Jane uses the chumhandle gutsyGumshoe.
  620. The Crockercorp logo just switched to Feferi's/the Condesce's trident. 2X3prong day. Duh.
  621. Jane's spoon has changed to a fork and her strife specibus has reallocated to forkkind. The previously useless switch now toggles the two forms.
  622. Jane is told she will be a hero of Life, accompanied by heroes of Breath and Light and Time and Space.
  623. Jane is also told there's an inscription on a big old book downstairs that she wrote to herself. It's the inscription John's nanna wrote in his unabridged Sassacre.
  624. Jane's Poppop John was a legendary comedian who died at 86 in a tragic accident the day Jane was born.
  625. Poppop John had a rivalry in vaudeville with Harry Anderson before Harry was shamed out of the industry and became a successful private detective.
  626. Jane has a customized copy of Pony Pals, handwritten all over and given to her as a 14th birthday gift by D. Strider.
  627. Jane has a gristwidget. It takes stuff and costs boondollars to produce grist.
  628. Jane's family stuffs and mounts their dead ancestors like Jade's did.
  629. "Sometimes you tell dad you really want poppop in the attic. He says the mere fact you call it that tells him you're not ready."
  630. Jane had a dream. She woke up on Prospit's moon and saw the Prospitians gather for a funeral. They said "The Page is dead. Our hope is lost."
  631. The Page was Jake. (Or possibly John?)
  632. Strider built Jane a bunnybot. With a sword.
  633. Jane went to get the mail, and there was an explosion!
  634. Dream Jane has been killed by Jack Noir!
  635. She's glowing, though.
  636. Waking Jane survived as well, though, thanks to this world's First Guardian: the God Cat. Or GCat.
  637. Jane got a booby-trapped copy of the alpha from Lalonde, who subsequently told her not to run it. She ran it anyway and it blew up her computer.
  638. Strider installed the client copy of the game on Jane's dad's machine.
  639. Jane has entered the game as Strider's client.
  640. Jane accidentally told Jake she didn't fancy him.
  641. Dream Jane was in danger of being remurdered when the White Queen showed up and smacked Jack unconscious!
  642. GCat teleported John's remains into space to prevent them being used to prototype Jane's kernelsprite.
  643. Just as Jane is entering the game, she sees Her Condesce's mothership overhead. On Earth.
  644. Jane is in a Land of Crypts & Helium.
  645. Jane's house fucking sank into the firmament. Shit.
  646. Jane's symbol is the Shoot. (ashoot.png)
  647. Jane has encountered Gamzee, in a god tier outfit somehow.
  648. Gamzee's got corpses.
  649. Gamzee prototyped the corpses! Meet Tavrisprite.
  650. Tavrisprite hated itself so much it blew up and threw both Tavros and Vriska back to the afterlife.
  651. Jane is Roxy's server.
  652. Jane has got her ass to Derse too. Great job.
  653. Jane has been stabbed through by the DD's miles!
  654. Jane has been kissed back to life as her dream self, by Dirk, after Roxy totally froze up.
  655. Jane's dream self got her ass to Earth, specifically Jake's island.
  656. Jane and Roxy are in the Land of Pyramids and Neon.
  657. Jane is sick of Jake's shit.
  658. Jane loves Betty Crocker and hates Gushers. WTF?
  659. Jake sent Jane... a bunch of crappy attempts at typing the code for Caliborn's juju.
  660. Calliope sent Jane the code for her juju: UrobUros.
  661. Jane worked it out and made both jujus. They are a green sucker and a red sucker, which each produce an additional unit of Zillium. Whatever this is. They attracted each other and combined into a Spiral Sucker.
  662. Jane licked it and something completely ridiculous happened: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007612
  663. Jane turned into a trickster, flew to Lomax and told Jake about her feelings, then kicked him in the crotch.
  664. This turned Jake into a trickster.
  665. Jake and Jane are on Derse, looking for Roxy.
  666. They got Roxy!
  667. They got Dirk!
  668. They're making shit: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/trickster.php?s=6&p=007664
  669. And then they woke up on their slabs inside the moons.
  670. They dropped the sucker and the ring. Grife knows where those are now.
  671. GOD TIER x4 COMBO http://www.mspaintadventures.com/ACT6ACT5ACT1x2COMBO.php?s=6&p=007758
  672. Jack is charging Jake and Jane with the Crowbar and then... Jade showed up. o.o And flash! Motherfucker B Gone.
  673. Her Condesce just mindjacked Jade!
  674. Jade just zapped the psychic headtop tiara onto Jane! http://www.mspaintadventures.com/ACT6ACT5ACT1x2COMBO.php?s=6&p=007802
  675. Jade and Jane are beating up Dirk and Jane.
  676. Jade zapped Dirk to... the other side of wherever she sent Jack. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/ACT6ACT5ACT1x2COMBO.php?s=6&p=007812
  677. Jade and Jane absconded with Roxy and Jake respectively.
  678.  
  679. Jane's dad is in jail on Derse. Apparently he's actually really comfortable, albeit unable to escape.
  680. Jane's dad sees your trickster mode shenanigans and does not approve.
  681.  
  682. Words of wisdom:
  683. *The Nobles will arrive one by one. First to LOCAH, then to LOPAN. Then comes LOTAK, followed by LOMAX. One by one, the Nobles will come, only to discover the remains of those who worshipped them and paved the way for their arrival. But then it is their duty to pave the way for others. For those from the planets through the glass, whatever that means. LOWAS, LOLAR, LOHAC, LOFAF...
  684. *When times were simpler, we called them the Four Heroes. Our stories were much happier and easy to understand, but we were living in delusion. When it became clear the Heroes would not fulfill their destiny by some cosmic flaw, they became known as the Nobles. It pretty much means the same thing, but is a title more commonly reserved for martyrs or tragic figures who toil in futility. The new scripture states it will require divine intervention for the Nobles to achieve victory. So there's at least one thing to be hopeful for. Unfortunately, a more recent tenet of our ever-unfolding myth states that the aspect of Hope itself is dead on arrival, so...
  685. *Our people have waited for centuries for the Four Nobles to arrive, and it seems we will wait centuries more. We will wait so long that apparently we will all die waiting? That's what we're supposed to do they say. It's all just a big waiting game up in here. And when the Nobles finally arrive, then apparently THEY have to wait too! We're told they cannot summon the Speaker of the Vast Croak without help. So they must wait for another four to arrive. Gods they say. Together they will raise the Speaker and fight invincible demons I think? I used to think I understood our folklore. It made me happy to think about greeting the Maid. But then it all changed, and now its kind of complicated and distressing and sad? Ah well, I'll just keep building crypts and carving tablets like I'm told.
  686. *It yo u are reodig this it m e ans i m dead
  687. Dang!
  688. ca r ving stone i5 har d,
  689. i wan t to go bak to farmin pods :(
  690.  
  691. Crockercorp wants you to:
  692. OBEY
  693. SUBMIT
  694. CEASE REPRODUCTION
  695. CONSUME
  696. EMBRACE YOUR CULLING
  697. CONFORM TO SOCIAL ORDER
  698. STAY ASLEEP
  699. DIE
  700.  
  701. Not!Jade is called Jake English.
  702. Jake English's symbol is the Green Skull.
  703. Jake is almost 16 as of 11/11/11.
  704. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006020
  705. Jake's strife specibus is allotted to 2xpistolkind.
  706. Jake had a rad grandma.
  707. Jake has a funky electronic bed.
  708. Jake likes blue chicks.
  709. Jake has heard stories about John? http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006072
  710. Jake is Jade's grandson! He is helping her build cyborg bunny. But he thinks she and John live in the early 20th century...
  711. Jake uses a puzzle fetch modus.
  712. Jake has one incredibly huge thing clogging up most of the space in his inventory. He feels like he might need it someday and doesn't want to be caught without it.
  713. Jake uses the chumhandle golgothasTerror.
  714. Jake's favorite comic heroine is Spider-Girl.
  715. Jade taught Jake to carry no less than 5 computers on him at all times, like a sensible person.
  716. One of them is Lord English's coat. o.o
  717. Jake has a brobot- an autonomous fighting machine designed to resemble Dirk.
  718. Jake's birthday is coming up.
  719. Jake lives on Jade's island, which has been covered in Alternian beasts for as long as he can remember.
  720. Dream Jake has been killed by the Courtyard Droll!
  721. Jake blacked out, and met... a spider-troll! http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006482
  722. Jake knows about the future: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006746
  723. Jake's grandma Jade named herself English and used skulls and bright colors in her iconography to remind Her Condesce of Lord English.
  724. Jake is a Page of Hope.
  725. The big thing in Jake's inventory is Jade's bedroom. He's just shrunk it.
  726. The thing Jake actually needs from Jade's bedroom is her Fenestrated Wall.
  727. Jake is Dirk's server.
  728. Jake used a transportalizer and got his ass sent to Derse.
  729. Lil Seb grabbed Jake and dragged his ass back to Earth.
  730. Seb got knocked into the ocean (by a dragon) but Jake arrived home safe yet unconscious.
  731. Jake woke up and kissed Dirk's head, restoring Dirk's dream self.
  732. Party at Jake's place!
  733. Jake is in the Land of Mounds and Xenon.
  734. Jake seems to have prototyped himself an Erisolsprite.
  735. Jake and Dave are dating but Jake's not sure about it.
  736. Jake forgot Jane's birthday. Like a chump.
  737. Caliborn is training Jake to become a worthy opponent. This apparently includes giving him Caliborn's juju. The code for Caliborn's juju is uROBuROS.
  738. The fenestrated wall Jake left on LoMaX just cracked.
  739. Her Condesce is at the wreckage of Derse's moon menacing Dave & Roxy.
  740.  
  741. D. Strider's chumhandle is timaeusTestified.
  742. D. Strider's symbol is the orange cap.
  743. D. Strider has a fucking incredible autoresponder.
  744. Strider has entered the game as Jane's server.
  745. D. Strider is called Dirk.
  746. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006368
  747. Dirk's strife specibus is allocated to bladekind. He also keeps puppetkind and fancysantakind specibi in his strife portfolio, for the lulz.
  748. Dirk has built two rapbots: Squarewave, who is enthusiastic but easily defeated; and Sawtooth, who is unbeatable by design but rarely present.
  749. Dirk has a wardrobifier.
  750. Dirk has a tattoo of a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff face. SB&HJ are cultural icons in this timeline, with a movie and shit. In fact a ton of movies. In fact Dave's media empire and Crockercorp have a very obvious rivalry.
  751. Dirk uses a tech-hop fetch modus, wherein items in a column must rhyme and items in a row must be thematically similar.
  752. Dave pioneered 3D jpeg artifacts: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006436
  753. Dirk is gay. Just so you know.
  754. Dave is dead. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006450
  755. Dirk has a thing for Jake.
  756. What's this about dad? http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006461
  757. Dirk is a Prince of Heart, or Soul. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006464
  758. Dirk's symbol is a magenta bifurcated heart with the right side only an outline. (pheart.png)
  759. ***Dirk arrived on Earth through the portal in 2400 AD.***
  760. The Draconian Dignitary has the nofold ring and is using Red Miles to try and kill Dirk on Derse. Or something. Meanwhile Jack is sending his miles to try and kill this whole universe, on account of having been commissioned to do so by someone.
  761. Sawtooth is home.
  762. Lil Cal fell in the water!
  763. Dream Dirk just appeared in the bubble where Aranea, Meenah, sleeping!dream!Roxy, and the meteor crew (Dave, Kanaya, Rose, the Mayor) are hanging out.
  764. Dream Dirk is dragging sleeping!dream!Roxy's ass back home.
  765. Dream Dirk pitched sleeping!dream!Roxy out of the bubble. Serenity the firefly went with her.
  766. Dirk activated the window that the GCat gave him and went through it to kiss Roxy back to life.
  767. Dirk set Sawtooth up with the cruxite and Squarewave up at Roxy's apartment.
  768. Dirk appearified his head to Jake. For some reason. To get prototyped maybe?
  769. No- to get kissed back to life. Which Jake did.
  770. Dirk is in the Land of Tombs and Krypton. (Snrk.) Possibly with Jake.
  771. Dirk has kept Gamzee from prototyping his kernelsprite with anything, through orange soda bribery.
  772. Or not.
  773. Dirk seems to have been saddled with an Equiusprite.
  774. Dirk has now prototyped Equiusprite with Lil Hal.
  775.  
  776. D. Strider's autoresponder is an autonomous entity. It says "it seems" a lot.
  777. The autoresponder's chumhandle is of course also timaeusTestified. But it uses red text instead of orange now.
  778. Strider's autoresponder is called Lil Hal.
  779. Lil Hal has recently developed his own autoresponder, Lil Hal Jr.
  780.  
  781. Not!Rose uses the chumhandle tipsyGnostalgic.
  782. Not!Rose's symbol is the Pink Mutant Cat Head.
  783. Not!Rose thinks the apocalypse is coming between Jake's upcoming birthday and hers, which are only a few days apart.
  784. Not!Rose's mom stocks the liquor cabinet and doesn't drink. So her daughter does.
  785. Not!Rose is a hacker, and got the game alpha in this manner, but... it was freaky easy.
  786. Not!Rose is called Roxy Lalonde.
  787. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006364
  788. Roxy's mom is, of course, Rose, who has been known to have vision omnifold.
  789. Roxy keeps fistkind and riflekind specibi in her strife portfolio.
  790. Roxy has a message in a bottle fetch modus.
  791. Rose got rich publishing Complacency of the Learned. Possibly supernaturally rich.
  792. Roxy has Jake's journal, which is full of code written with BARK.
  793. Roxy has an appearifier, which is Crockertech.
  794. Roxy's mom, who is Rose, is dead. Jane seems to have disbelieved this.
  795. Roxy's cat is Jaspers. She appearified him from Rose's life, lived with him, accidentally killed him, and is preparing to send him back.
  796. Roxy has a bunch of space windows: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006410
  797. Roxy is a Rogue of Void.
  798. While passing through the space between windows, Roxy spots her own sleepwalking dream-self.
  799. Roxy accidentally stole Rose's scarf from some point in her childhood.
  800. Roxy has access to some mysterious equipment. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006512
  801. There are Dersites in Roxy's underground lab. This isn't news, for some reason.
  802. GCat teleported one of Roxy's windows to Dirk's house while she was trying to jump to it, leaving her stuck inbetween, on Derse. With... someone. Someone who wears the sign for Pisces.
  803. ***Roxy arrived on Earth through the portal in 2400 AD.***
  804. Dirk's autoresponder says Roxy needs to bring Jake into the game and complete the chain of entry.
  805. Jane is Roxy's server.
  806. The red miles are destroying the universe. Somehow.
  807. Roxy is Jake's server.
  808. Roxy got stabbed through with the Miles!
  809. Roxy got kissed back to life! As her dream self, of course.
  810. Jane and Roxy are in the Land of Pyramids and Neon.
  811. Roxy crafted herself a portal gun.
  812. Roxy prototyped herself a Fefetasprite.
  813. Roxy got dumped on Derse by the GCat... right in front of Her Condesce...
  814. Roxy is in a dream bubble with the firefly-embodied essence of Calliope and possibly Her Condesce. It started out as Roxy's room, then quickly became Rose's house and now the white speech bubble from Calliope's dreams.
  815. Calliope recommends that Roxy's party become god tiers by traveling to the centre of the moons of Prospit and Derse and dying on their sacrificial slabs.
  816. Rose just showed up in the bubble. This scares the crap out of Calliope because she's a Light player and could attract attention.
  817. Roxy is in jail on Derse. Her Condesce has provided a briefing on something "stupid and impossible" she wants Roxy to do.
  818. The Courtyard Droll has left Roxy Jane's dad's PDA and a nofold ring.
  819. The ring has allowed Roxy to become invisible and intangible. For the DD it only provided invisibility. Perhaps it is unlocking her void powers.
  820. Fefetasprite blew up!
  821.  
  822. Um?
  823. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006985
  824.  
  825. Jack is in jail on Prospit after killing Calliope.
  826. The DD has been sending him his paperwork to get done.
  827. Suddenly someone sent him a whole bunch of gear. Looks like the Crowbar, Lil Cal, 2 knives, & a hacksaw, all inside a pumpkin with "Let's play a game" carved on it.
  828. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/ACT6ACT5ACT1x2COMBO.php?s=6&p=007708
  829. Jack just stabbed his fucking eyes out. o_o
  830. And hacked his foot off. And... generally seems to be turning into a Lord English-looking figure.
  831. And busted all fucking reality open, apparently.
  832. This is the same Prospit in whose moon Jane and Jake are lying hungover. And it's fucking burning...
  833. And Her Condesce's warship is on Derse.
  834. Her Condesce has the same flashing glow Jack has now.
  835. They just blew up the moons.
  836.  
  837. TROLLS
  838.  
  839. Her Condesce is not just Betty Crocker but also the Black Queen.
  840.  
  841. The mysterious Pisces lady troll is Meenah Peixes.
  842. Meenah seems to be basically clueless.
  843. Meenah is a god tier.
  844. Meenah is a Thief of Life.
  845.  
  846. The mysterious Scorpio lady spider-troll is Aranea.
  847. Aranea is a Sylph of Light.
  848. Aranea knows all sorts of shit and seems to be very experienced.
  849. Aranea says she's from A1 and Terezi is from A2.
  850. Aranea says she's been in the Medium for billions of years and still never again seen her best friend, who was the Thief of Life. That's Meenah.
  851. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006902
  852. Aranea is a god tier.
  853.  
  854. Kankri Vantas is the Cancer troll in this set.
  855. Kankri is incredibly politically and socially conscious. Like it's a fucking superpower.
  856. Kankri is a Seer of Blood.
  857. Kankri types replacing the fifteenth letter with the ninth digit and the sec9nd letter with the sixth digit.
  858.  
  859. Latula Pyrope is the Libra troll around here.
  860. Latula is a Knight of Mind.
  861. Latula has no sense of smell.
  862. Latula has been steadily dating Mituna. Whoever that is.
  863. Latula typ3s r3pl4c1ng th3 f1rst thr33 vow3ls w1th d1g1ts, l1k3 so.
  864. Latula rides a skateboard.
  865.  
  866. Porrim Maryam is the Virgo troll around here.
  867. Porrim is a Maid of Space.
  868. Po+rrim types appending a plus sign to+ each instance o+f the fifteenth letter, appro+ximating the female symbo+l.
  869.  
  870. Cronus Ampora is the Aquarius troll around here.
  871. Cronus is a Bard of Hope.
  872. Cronus replaces each instance of the tvwenty-second or tvwenty-third letter in his speech with a pair of the tvwo in order, like so.
  873.  
  874. Mituna Captor is the Gemini troll around here.
  875. Mituna is an Heir of Doom.
  876. He was a badass psionic with hella precognition but then something happened and he is now... pretty useless. Like. Triggering useless.
  877. Mituna 7YPE5 1N 4LL C4P5 R3PL47H1NG L377T3R7H W17H NUM83R7H WH3R3V3R P07H18L3. 4L7H0 W17H 4 L17HP.
  878.  
  879. Kurloz Makara is the Capricornus troll around here.
  880. Kurloz is a Prince of Rage.
  881. Kurloz sewed his mouth shut.
  882. Kurloz serves Gamzee.
  883. Kurloz has Vriska's jacket.
  884.  
  885. Meulin Leijon is the Leo troll around here.
  886. Meulin is a Mage of Heart.
  887. Meulin is deaf.
  888. Meulin also serves Gamzee. Obliquely.
  889.  
  890. Rufioh Nitram is the Taurus troll around here.
  891. Rufioh is a Rogue of Breath.
  892.  
  893. Damara Megido is the Aries troll around here.
  894. Damara is a Witch of Time.
  895. Damara speaks Japanese, which only Rufioh completely understands.
  896. Damara is also kinky as FUCK. o_o
  897. Damara also maybe worships Lord English? Definitely believes he's going to win, at least.
  898.  
  899. Horuss Zahhak is the Sagittarius troll around here.
  900. Horuss is a Page of Void.
  901.  
  902. CHERUBS
  903. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006761
  904. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007681
  905. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007861
  906.  
  907. uranianUmbra types capitalizing the twenty-first letter of the alphabet, and UsUally no other letters.
  908. uranianUmbra has been helping Jake prepare Jade's present. And possibly other things? She seems to know quite a bit about this shit.
  909. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006081
  910. uranianUmbra's symbol is a green pair of snakes around a gray staff.
  911. uranianUmbra is having trouble locating Lalonde due to dark spots in transmission.
  912. uranianUmbra dreams (is?) on Prospit in her own universe, which is not this one.
  913. uranianUmbra is preparing to start her own session.
  914. uranianUmbra is frustrated with her client player/semi-brother. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006464
  915. uranianUmbra "cheers" rather than pestering or trolling.
  916. uranianUmbra has never met her coplayer but he has made a mess in her room somehow.
  917. uranianUmbra and her not-brother have been in competition all their lives.
  918. uranianUmbra is called Calliope.
  919. If anyone says Calliope's name to her brother, he will fall asleep and she will wake up. And vice versa.
  920. Calliope is a cherub. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006993
  921. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006997
  922. A wacky speech bubble has long since haunted Calliope's dreams: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007001
  923. Calliope and her brother use a Juju fetch modus; the things each one picks up can only be put down by the other.
  924. Calliope has the book Rose is currently writing. Gamzee seems to have blotted out all useful references to himself and Lord English from it.
  925. Calliope is a Muse of Space.
  926. Calliope's strife portfolio includes specibi allotted to wandkind and pistolkind. She has a white wand which switches back and forth to a white magnum.
  927. Calliope and her brother share a body. They shackle it to the other side of the room before switching so that their sibling can't mess with their stuff- the enchantment on the chain on the far side of the room can only be unlocked by the one who lives on the near side.
  928. Calliope and her brother live on a planet orbiting a massive red supergiant. As cherubs they have never had a homeworld.
  929. A bit of reference: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007023 & ...033
  930. They seem to be holed up on the remains of the meteor from the Reckoning. ... on Earth? Someplace with a lot of jpeggy Statues of Liberty anyway.
  931. Calliope is to be Aranea's SECRET WEAPON against Lord English. Awesome.
  932. Roxy said Calliope's name to Caliborn, but it didn't work, because she's dead. Crap.
  933. Calliope's soul is out in the Furthest Ring, looking for a version of herself that predominated over Caliborn and could beat him.
  934.  
  935. undyingUmbrage's symbol is a gray U with a red tilde across it. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006546
  936. undyingUmbrage TYPES IN ALL CAPS BuT NOT WHEN uSING THE TWENTY-FIRST LETTER, FOR SOME REASON.
  937. undyingUmbrage "jeers" rather than pestering or trolling.
  938. undyingUmbrage dreams (is?) on Derse in his universe, which is covered in corpses.
  939. undyingUmbrage is of course uranianUmbra's aforementioned semi-brother.
  940. undyingUmbrage has a thing about puppets. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006549
  941. undyingUmbrage has another thing about human courtship. Or something. Porn minus sex.
  942. Oh, and he killed his sister.
  943. He bribed Jack to do it. With candy.
  944. undyingUmbrage is a Lord of Time.
  945. undyingUmbrage is named Caliborn.
  946. Caliborn BIT HIS FUCKING FOOT OFF to get loose from Calliope's chain.
  947. Caliborn gave himself a robot foot.
  948. Caliborn looks a whole fucking lot like a young Lord English.
  949. Caliborn is prepping to enter the Medium... but where a kernelsprite should be he's got a fucking black hole...
  950. Caliborn's planet has been sucked into the medium. It is huge and empty and boring. But there's a light, and near the light is... Gamzee? o.o
  951. Caliborn shot Gamzee with a whole lotta bullets.
  952. Caliborn is having trouble distinguishing his own thoughts from the ones coming into his head from... somewhere.
  953. Here: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007379
  954. Gamzee isn't dead. Apparently. Somehow.
  955. Gamzee gave Caliborn a power block for the radio tower. And then... the Crowbar.
  956. Caliborn needs to get keys to unlock the remaining features of the radio tower and eventually the door to his denizen.
  957. Caliborn is on Earth.
  958. Now that it's in the medium, though, Earth has developed a denizen. He's a scary bastard named Yaldabaoth.
  959. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007397
  960. Caliborn has a dead session. If he gets to Yaldabaoth, listens to him, and agrees to his terms, a proper adventure can start, but it'll still have completely different values of victory and defeat, with no chance of creating a new universe.
  961. Gamzee barfed up a keyring.
  962. Gamzee has provided Caliborn with a new juju. "A wonderful little false man." It's Lil Cal!
  963. Lil Cal is cursed? http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007577
  964. Caliborn is slowly assembling the Felt.
  965. Yaldabaoth is the self-proclaimed god of all monsters. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007897
  966. When Caliborn's system was born, the 6, 7, and 11 planets were pre-pocketed, leaving him only twelve worlds to conquer.
  967. The Felt are leprechauns. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007907
  968. Hussie has stopped talking to Caliborn.
  969. Caliborn seems to be in charge now?
  970. xD http://www.mspaintadventures.com/ACT6ACT6.php?s=6&p=008147
  971.  
  972. The Kings have been blown up by the Courtyard Droll.
  973.  
  974. YEARS IN THE FUTURE (BUT NOT MANY)
  975. Earth is mostly underwater and run by Alternia.
  976. Dirk is... still there? o.o
  977. So is Roxy.
  978.  
  979. ========================================================
  980. ACT 6
  981.  
  982. John and Jade and the populations of the four worlds (including Davesprite and Nannasprite and Jaspersprite, but not Jadesprite, because she's Jade now) are on the battleship traversing the Yellow Yard between the two game sessions, in Hussie's realm. It is that yardstick that he wouldn't shut up about being his range of influence over the story.
  983. Davesprite broke up with Jade.
  984. John met Tavros and Vriska in a dream bubble and picked up a no-fold ring!
  985. The battleship has arrived on LoMaX.
  986. Davesprite is leaving. For. Somewhere.
  987. John is sleeping in his tiny house on his tiny planet. Jade is off being mind controlled.
  988. Viceroy Bubbles Von Salamander has summoned an undead army.
  989. John has now also vanished from the battleship.
  990. John is on his own earth, years in the future (but not many). Now he's in his own past on LoWaS. Now he's in Vriska's past on Alternia, when the cue ball exploded. Now he's in Jake's past on his Earth, when Jake kissed Dirk's head. Now he's in the Signless's past seeing the dowager adopt him. Now he's in Dirk's past on the White House watching alterDave fight ICP. Now he's in Con Air. Now he's on Caliborn's eighth planet when Caliborn has gotten around to needing to conquer it. He actually stuck around there for a while but now he's been punched out of time by Cans. Now he's back on LoMaX looking at the broken fenestrated wall- through which the battleship arrived. Duh. He seems to be stuck here now.
  991. John was bored as fuck but then Jade dumped the meteor crew here!
  992. Jade put the planets into orbit around Skaia.
  993.  
  994. John has gone missing.
  995.  
  996. Dave and the Mayor are on LoHaC.
  997.  
  998. Karkat and Kanaya are on LoFaF, only it doesn't have frost anymore. Or frogs.
  999.  
  1000. Terezi and Rose are on LoLaR.
  1001. Rose is completely unintelligible.
  1002.  
  1003. Mindjacked Jane is in jail on Derse. With Jake.
  1004.  
  1005. (Mindjacked?) Jade is in jail on Derse with Roxy.
  1006. Roxy's assignment is to retrieve the matriorb.
  1007. Roxy has retrieved a perfectly generic object.
  1008. Did I just catch up to the story? Fuck. It would appear so.
  1009.  
  1010. The Sovereign Slayer and the PM are approaching the void session from the fourth cardinal direction. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=008121
  1011.  
  1012. Rose and Dave and Aradia and Sollux and Karkat and Gamzee and Kanay and Terezi are on the meteor in the Reckoning heading to the new session's Skaia from the Green Sun. Rose and Dave's mission wasn't to destroy the Green Sun but to ignite it. And they succeeded.
  1013. But with the Green Sun still functional, to beat Jack they're going to have to fight him head on at full power.
  1014. Gamzee puts people in jars.
  1015. Dave's bro made him a leather bib with a heart on it. From Maplehoof.
  1016. The meteor is approaching Skaia.
  1017. Terezi and Gamzee are kismesing.
  1018. Rose has an alcohol problem.
  1019. Terezi might have a similar soda problem.
  1020. Gamzee and Karkat aren't moirails anymore.
  1021. Dave is super chill. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007837
  1022. Aranea gave Terezi her eyes back.
  1023. The meteor is on final approach. With no brakes. And oh shit it's mindjacked Jade.
  1024.  
  1025. Aradia and Sollux are staying behind by the Green Sun.
  1026.  
  1027. Meenah and Vriska and ghost-troll-crew are off being pirates!
  1028. Tavros and Aranea and Sollux and Aradia are there too.
  1029. They have a ginormous ghost navy (army on boats).
  1030. The army is mind controlled by Vriska and Aranea.
  1031. Feferi and Nepeta are also present, but Feferi and Meenah have to keep their distance so they don't feel the need to kill each other for dominance.
  1032. There's kind of a band happening. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007881
  1033. Gamzee hatched Caliborn/Calliope.
  1034. Aradia is NOT ENCOURAGING: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007928
  1035. The nofold rings are important in different ways: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007934
  1036. Tavros and Sollux and Feferi and Nepeta are done with this pirate shit.
  1037. John promised Meenah he'd give the ring of life away before she can steal it from him.
  1038. Vriska has found a secret weapon. It's a juju Caliborn supposedly got for defeating a powerful denizen. We're not gonna see it for a little while. (It's probably Lil Cal.)
  1039. Nope! http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007983
  1040. SONOFABIIIITCH http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007994
  1041. SON OF A BIIIIIIIITCH http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=008004
  1042. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=008005
  1043. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=008006
  1044. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=008007
  1045. And then John vanished. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=008009
  1046.  
  1047. Spades Slick is all cyborged up and back at Hussie's place. Weird shit is literally on the horizon. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=008013
  1048. Slick has English's gun.
  1049. Slick has his stuff back. Including Die's doll. He pulls out all the pins and gains command of the Felt. They obey him because he has the gun, which is also the cuestaff.
  1050. Slick appoints Ms Paint as the new #8.
  1051. Crowbar leads everybody through the 5th wall to Doc Scratch's apartment, inside which is a clock they can exit through. The Felt, Ms Paint, and the centaur butler all pile into Biscuits' oven, which Slick picks up in preparation to exit through the clock.
  1052. Slick sets fire to Scratch's apartment and steps through the clock to emerge... in Lord English's beacon, in the furthest ring, with the horrorterrors. At the third of four corners of where Jack the not-English and Dirk are.
  1053.  
  1054. The original session was a null session- one which fails to produce a new universe.
  1055. The new session is also a null session- specifically, a void session. Nothing gets prototyped, and so the enemies aren't empowered, but neither is the battlefield, so a new universe can't be created either. It all just kind of... stays the same. Forever.
  1056. In a void session, there is no reckoning.
  1057. ========================================================
  1058.  
  1059. LINKS
  1060.  
  1061. COSMIC SHIT STARTS GETTING EXPLAINED
  1062. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002320
  1063.  
  1064. SHIT'S GOT HISTORY
  1065. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002445
  1066.  
  1067. WHAT THE HELL
  1068. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002657
  1069. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002659
  1070.  
  1071. LOL WHAT
  1072. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002731
  1073.  
  1074. EARTH IS PRETTY FUCKED
  1075. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002774
  1076.  
  1077. LEARNING STUFF
  1078. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003410
  1079. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003424
  1080.  
  1081. DENIZENS?
  1082. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003505
  1083.  
  1084. SKAIA IS FUCKING EARTH IN THE BUTT
  1085. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003567
  1086.  
  1087. YEAR ONE RECAP
  1088. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  1089. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003574
  1090.  
  1091. WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE
  1092. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003670
  1093.  
  1094. JESUS BALLS THAT'S AWESOME
  1095. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003741
  1096.  
  1097. YEAR TWO RECAP
  1098. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  1099. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003888
  1100.  
  1101. BLACK QUEEN HATES FROGS
  1102. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004208
  1103.  
  1104. TROLL ROMANCE NEEDS FOUR SYMBOLS
  1105. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004292
  1106.  
  1107. THE SHIT!?
  1108. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004387
  1109.  
  1110. JOHN DOESN'T LOOK HALF BAD
  1111. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004634
  1112.  
  1113. ANOTHER RECAP
  1114. !!!!!!!!!!!!!
  1115. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005138
  1116.  
  1117. MORE WINDY THING
  1118. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005397
  1119.  
  1120. SYMBOLS INSIDE THE WORLD
  1121. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005560
  1122.  
  1123. SOME MORE WTF
  1124. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005615
  1125.  
  1126. CRIME SOLVING MUSIC
  1127. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005625
  1128.  
  1129. THE HELL
  1130. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005890
  1131.  
  1132. FUCK YOU
  1133. THIS IS INSANE
  1134. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005953
  1135.  
  1136. WAT
  1137. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006185
  1138.  
  1139. STUFF ABOUT CLASSES AND ASPECTS
  1140. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005733
  1141. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006254
  1142. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006464
  1143. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006413
  1144. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006414
  1145. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006675
  1146. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006993
  1147. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=008193
  1148. SYMBOLS WE DIDN'T HAVE
  1149. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006590
  1150. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007687
  1151.  
  1152. Troll keyboard?
  1153. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006414
  1154.  
  1155. MEANINGFUL INSIGHTFUL SHIT
  1156. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007917
  1157. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007920
  1158. http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=007953
  1159.  
  1160. MIDNIGHT CREW
  1161. Diamonds Droog
  1162. Clubs Deuce
  1163. Hearts Boxcars
  1164. Spades Slick
  1165. Spades Slick owns a Rules Card For Blackjack that has a barcode-like marking on the back.
  1166. THE MIDNIGHT CREW ARE EXILES IN THE TROLLS' GAMING SESSION.
  1167. THE BARCODE-LIKE MARKING OPENS THE HATCH INSIDE THE FELT'S VAULT.
  1168. THE HATCH LEADS TO A SET OF SCREENS WHICH DISPLAY TROLLS.
  1169.  
  1170. THE FELT
  1171. Lord English
  1172. Itchy (1) - is fast (can speed up his experience of time?)
  1173. Doze (2) - can slow down his own experience of time
  1174. Trace (3) - sees past trails
  1175. Clover (4) - impossibly lucky.
  1176. Fin (5) - sees future trails
  1177. Die (6) - has voodoo doll, sticking marked pin into doll jumps you to a timeline where the person the pin is marked for is dead
  1178. Crowbar (7) - has a crowbar which can destroy time-active artifacts and their effects
  1179. Snowman (8) - can't be killed without destroying the universe
  1180. Stitch (9) - has effigies tied to teammates; maintaining/fixing effigies prevents the death of the tied person
  1181. Sawbuck (10) - randomly time travels when injured
  1182. Matchsticks (11) - travels through time by walking through fire
  1183. Eggs (12) - time travels whenever his egg timer goes off
  1184. Biscuits (13) - has an oven inside which no time passes while the door is closed. Oven is also way bigger on the inside.
  1185. Quarters (14) - has a coin with a 4 on one side and a 14 on the other
  1186. Cans (15) - is fucking huge and can literally punch you into next week
  1187. Strange obsession with clocks
  1188. SNOWMAN IS THE BLACK QUEEN IN THE TROLLS' SESSION
  1189.  
  1190. TRANSCRIPT OF MAGIC CUE BALL RESPONSE RE: OLD GODS
  1191.  
  1192. thgl'tgl
  1193. fgqat thn
  1194. thyrg
  1195.  
  1196. ueio fnf oi.xlsxns ii .lcvjdovi dj
  1197. d .doivjei fl e vc .WOLE. oivoije
  1198. bjnj ioaal. SQ. SCXJ.A sjxlsij v
  1199. ijfjbjbn db d*,v ioijfi ff
  1200.  
  1201. ghnr fi
  1202. ylst'hlg
  1203.  
  1204. ch'g
  1205. ulotha
  1206. fthyn
  1207.  
  1208. aearteaao fpofoeop apo aalk oo
  1209. vudgudg v dig uv vu
  1210. p vdoppog pomombihju fu hi
  1211. ubdp fh vjc
  1212. hci hjdhjo idoi fio
  1213. jfoj ovi ivd j
  1214.  
  1215. mrubbit
  1216.  
  1217. hthag
  1218. y'yrn thg
  1219. uthilt
  1220.  
  1221. oglog
  1222.  
  1223. mrubbit
  1224.  
  1225. thgl'tgl
  1226. fgqat thn
  1227. thyrg
  1228.  
  1229. TRANSCRIPT ENDS
  1230.  
  1231. TRANSCRIPT OF CONVERSATION BETWEEN JOHN AND GRIMDARK!ROSE
  1232.  
  1233. John: Hi Rose! I really did not expect to find you here!
  1234. Rose: Nyurb gu'ilg.
  1235. John: Heh... what? also, why are you all gray like that? you look weird.
  1236. Rose: G'hroog fib'th mur brup brup.
  1237. John: uh...
  1238. Rose: G'HROOG FIB'TH MUR BRUP BRUP!
  1239. John: rose, i can't understand a word you are saying. it is a lot sillyspeak and gobbledygook.
  1240. Rose: Haughauuhthr'l...
  1241. John: wait, i know what's going on here. it finally happened! you have gone grimdark!!! i told you rose. i warned you about... what did you call them? the broodfester throes?
  1242. Rose: ...
  1243. John: it's ok rose, don't worry. we will find a cure for your stubborn throes. but i'm still trying to find our parents! i thought my dad might have come to this castle to check out that huge black rain cloud. did you see the cloud, rose? it's pretty awesome.
  1244. Rose: Fnlth gohluyng j'rg hothaht!
  1245. John: what? you sound kind of upset. what is it, rose?
  1246. Rose: Jgngn, fnlth gohluyng j'rg HOTHAHT!
  1247. John: wait, are you talking about our parents? oh man... you mean, they're here?!
  1248. Rose: Shgvb throl. Goors fn'nnyuld hothahty'j otot!
  1249. John: are you saying they are in trouble?? oh no! rose, we have to go help them!
  1250. Rose (into pillow): MMPH PHLTHMMPHMPHMF RRMPHPMRPH.
  1251. John: yes, i am frustrated too. but there is no time for such lamentations! do you think you can find them again?
  1252. Rose: Shruggot.
  1253. John: great! i can't wait to see my dad. it feels like it's been forever since i saw him. please lead the way, rose!
  1254.  
  1255. John: oh no! rose, what happened in here?!
  1256. Rose: Yyjyrn yulk frobithh.
  1257. John: was it jack? are you saying it was jack, rose?
  1258. Rose: FRU'FRNUHUH JGOG HHGH.
  1259. John: what's that, rose? are you getting aggravated that i am talking to you kind of like you are a dog?
  1260. Rose: ...
  1261. John: that is a really nice pillow, by the way. it goes well with your weird dark skin and gothy ensemble.
  1262. Rose (smiling): Knryip.
  1263. John: you're welcome!
  1264.  
  1265. John: by the way, did you know that karkat thinks we are supposed to get married?
  1266. Rose: Gorthytch svulk borbly'ahth?
  1267. John: wait! i hope that didn't come off as a proposal or anything! sorry, i'm just making conversation. i guess i am a little nervous... because technically, this is the first time we have ever met, and also, you are talking like an eldritch monster, so i'm kind of babbling. we don't actually have get married though. i mean, not if you don't want to.
  1268. Rose (calm): ...
  1269. John: heheh. ok, i'll shut up now.
  1270.  
  1271. TRANSCRIPT ENDS
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