I want to start off with saying happy valentine’s day <3

I wish you lots of happiness and everything that is good this year because you deserve it.
I’m writing this as you are sleeping and I’m watching over you right now, you know that I like to do that for you.
A couple of days ago we had a big argument that changed a lot of things, and for the better.
I hope it will stay like this because I like it this way a lot more than before.
When I hear you speak it just calms me down, maybe it doesn’t look like it does but it really really does.
Your sweet voice talking about whatever, it doesn’t matter what but as long as you say it like you mean it, I get really happy.
I’m sure we will be spending a lot of time together in the future and I hope our next valentine’s day we have met each other already at least once.
So here I will say it once more, I love you so much and don’t ever change your beautiful personality.
Even though we have our differences sometimes, we both know that we love each other a lot. Problems are there to be fixed and to make this crazy ride called life, a lot more interesting.
When I say crazy ride, I mean that it’s supposed to be fun, you only life one time so let’s make it good.
And I can say with all the confidence in the world that I want to spend my whole life with you. A few weeks or even months ago you asked me how I know how I love you?
I explained it to you like this, I love you because every time I feel bad I want to talk to you, whenever I feel good I also want to talk to you.
I know that I love you because I just want to spend all my time with you, it just never gets boring.
Hearing you laugh and hearing you cry, it is painful to hear you cry sometimes but I know that it will be okay soon so I always tell you that it’s going to be okay.
But when I hear you laugh I just smile because I know that you are happy
And making you happy is really all that I care about.
I wanted to remind you of the times we have spent so far, just to look back at what has happened, because I loved every second of it.

It all started when I met you on steam, it sounds really terrible as the start of a love story and I’m still always ashamed to tell people.
But it is how it is, and we’ll make this love story a good one. The moment I spoke to you, you were really happy to talk it seemed.
But later you told me that you found me a little weird but that’s fine by me of course.
I just didn’t know what to say, so I asked you a million things.
You answered all of my annoying questions truthfully and I just really enjoyed talking to you.
Days passed as we spoke about our personal lives. Little by little I told you about things like my disease, and my hobby’s.
I was careful trying not to scare you away by saying things that you might not like. But it was like whatever I said you made it okay.
You told me about your situation with your family and how it has been rough, I felt a connection with you because we both have our problems I guess.
One day when I came back home from school to play some games on steam, I messaged you asking how you are doing that day.
I will never forget your response. It was: “Heey I was hoping that you would message me ”
At that moment I felt like I was a little in love, I went from liking to talk to you, to really liking you.
So from that day we talked more and more, about everything.
It didn’t matter about what we spoke because everything was fine.
Then there was that time that you told me about your Facebook, I told you that I did not have it but I would like to see yours.
at first I didn’t believe it was you, because the page said something about freelance modelling and I thought you really were one, because I thought you were so beautiful.
I looked at your pictures and I smiled all the time, I started liking you more and more.
I showed you a picture of me and I didn’t really smile, I don’t know why but I wasn’t so happy I guess.
You later told me to always smile and when you said that I knew that you were right for me. I hoped that I didn’t scare you away with the picture and thankfully I didn’t.
At one time I asked if you wanted to skype, the first time on skype with you I was very nervous.
I couldn’t look straight at you and I could barely smile either.
You had the same reaction though, I thought you looked very good so it was just looking at each other for a while.
I don’t remember exactly but I think I said that I had to go because I was getting too nervous. We spoke more after that though and I was relieved that I saw you finally.
We started talking on skype more often, maybe even daily.
Days passed and every time I woke up I thought about you.
I never asked you to be my girlfriend officially, this was because I didn’t feel like I had to.
I felt like we both kind of knew already.
One day I had to stay at the hospital for a few days to get my health restored.
It would have been a very boring time alone in the hospital but you were there for me every second. I remember watching TV every evening until 12 o clock.
And pretending that I was asleep already when a nurse came in to check on me.
I did this because I knew that you would wake up by then.
And when I finally saw you come online on skype I always immediately called you.
It felt great hearing your voice in those times.
Maybe I haven’t thanked you enough for that yet. So here I will say it: Thank you for supporting me in tough times.
When I got out of the hospital we got closer to each other.
Maybe even inseparable. We call for hours and hours every day and we started watching movies together.
It’s always much better doing something with you than alone so I asked you for those things a lot.
I was always happy when you responded with a sure, or I’d love to.
I think it was around that time when I started saying things like, I’d really hug you now or, I want to kiss you so much.
I already had those feelings before but I never told you because I was afraid of your reaction that it wouldn’t be vice versa.
Ever since I told you that I want to just be with you and hug you all the time we got even closer than before.
I’m glad that I was there for you to explain things about how certain things work, I think you know what I’m talking about.
All I can really say is that it’s great doing everything together with you.
I never could get you off my mind and at school I always talked to you on skype because I couldn’t concentrate on my work anyway.
Without you this year would be a waste of time but you made it so much better.
We started getting arguments sometimes and they were about nonsense most of the time.
Last week we had one that wasn’t about nonsense though.
We fixed some big problems and I am sure that everything will go uphill again.
We are imagining how life would be in about 20 years, and it feels comfortable thinking about it with you.
It all feels natural. We are almost 4 months together now so I decided it was time to tell my family about you some more.
They are happy for us and they accept everything just like I hoped.
You even talked to my mom on the phone for a little while which made me smile and laugh at the same time, hearing both of your reactions.
Maybe I have talked to your dad already when you see this letter.
I kind of hope so.
We’ll see each other soon and I can finally give you a big kiss and hold you in my arms like I always wanted.
Making you feel safe and pressing your head against my cheek will feel really nice. Maybe soon right? We’ll see.

I love you very much and I will always be right here for you so remember that!
Big big hug from your one and only boyfriend that loves you more than anything.

-Joran