23:29:16: <TheRaven> They'll find Taggart sitting in his usual spot, looking kinda bored.
23:29:50: <AgentFlowers> Channel change! Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta!
23:30:15: <Magnobile> Monty walks into rec
23:30:23: <PresidentEvil> The TV says yes to the dress... for about three seconds.
23:30:27: <PresidentEvil> Then... something weird happens.
23:30:46: <AgentFlowers> "NO COME BACK PNINA GOWNS."
23:31:27: <Magnobile> Monty blinks and looks over, "...w-what?"
23:31:33: <PresidentEvil> Specifically, there's a lot of 80s graphics, set to what can only be described as a disturbingly upbeat fascist marching song.
23:31:40: <TheRaven> "We're about to be missing a TV again, aren't we?"
23:31:54: <PresidentEvil> "And here's your host... XARFLEEZ THE UNDYING!"
23:32:07: <AgentFlowers> SIIIIGH. <<Command, the TV went all Max Headroom.>>
23:32:30: <Gara> "Goddamn it."
23:32:35: <Magnobile> Monty walks over to observe the spectacle... "X-xarfleez?"
23:32:47: <Gara> "I just wanted to watch Say Yes to the Dress. Thats all I wanted>"
23:32:50: <TheRaven> "This might be interesting..."
23:32:59: <Strife> Murphy looks over at his radio. Such a weird site. Then he goes back to paperwork
23:33:01: <Magnobile> "Wh-what are you w-watching?"
23:33:17: <AgentFlowers> "Xarfleez, dude, you better have a good reason for depriving us of our dress porn."
23:33:21: <PresidentEvil> "Thank you, and welcome to another episode of "Who Wants to be Conquered by the Octonian Empire?", the multiverse's most popular game show!"
23:33:37: <Magnobile> blink.
23:33:53: <Magnobile> "D-dress porn?"
23:34:04: <Magnobile> he sounds... mildly disgusted.
23:35:05: <PresidentEvil> Xarfleez is a tentacled horror in a checkered sport coat, with a head of gray hair. Over the next few minutes, he explains how contestants just like /you/ attempt to defend their lives, their freedom, and their very civilizations from the transdimensional might of the merciless Octonian Empire... in exchange for fabulous cash prizes!"
23:35:18: <AgentFlowers> "Everyone likes pretty dresses, Monty. Anyone who tells you they've never wanted to wear a spectacular dress, male or female, is lying to you."
23:36:19: <PresidentEvil> Lily, Xarfleez's lovely assistant Slagathor is a tentacled horror in a pretty dress. She smiles gamely and gestures as he describes the RV up for grabs in this round.
23:36:24: <Magnobile> Monty blinks
23:36:36: <Magnobile> "I... d-do not b-believe that's t-true."
23:37:34: <Magnobile> "...W-we may need t-to m-mobilize security f-forces."
23:37:42: <AgentFlowers> "...See, that's a nice dress. I would wear that if I had the boobs for it."
23:38:03: <Magnobile> blink. look oddly at Lily.
23:38:33: <AgentFlowers> <<Command, respond?>>
23:38:50: <TheRaven> "Okay, last time anything like this happened, we got drafted into some kind of interdimensional gladiator thing." He checks for weird force fields around the door.
23:39:09: <Magnobile> "...l-last time..."
23:39:17: <PresidentEvil> One of the hinges is a bit stiff, Taggart, you should probably get maintenance down here to oil that.
23:39:37: <PresidentEvil> But who cares about a fucking door hinge, it's time to go to the Big Board and meet our first contestant!
23:39:39: <AgentFlowers> "Man I don't want to play for an RV. What am I going to do with an RV?"
23:39:51: <Magnobile> "W-we may need t-to mobilize s-security."
23:40:09: <Magnobile> "L-lily. This i-is serious."
23:40:37: <PresidentEvil> <<Uh, we're getting this too, Agents, but apparently it's only playing on one channel within the site's perimeter.>>
23:41:12: <TheRaven> "It wasn't that bad. I mean, there were the things that spewed some kind of poison gas, and a fire giant sort of fried Halim, but we all survived."
23:41:41: <Magnobile> "...I-i am n-not exactly f-fighting f-fit."
23:41:57: <PresidentEvil> Xarfleez moseys on over to the War Room set, where a variety of slimy aliens in military uniforms are monitoring consoles and gesturing excitedly at a giant screen that dominates the view.
23:42:03: <AgentFlowers> "I've got your back, Monty."
23:42:41: <AgentFlowers> <<Roger that, Command. Orders?>>
23:43:36: <PresidentEvil> "And now here's our first contestant, Nethem! Hailing from dimension 12.6x10^66, he's a concrete inspector from Peoria. Nethem, say hi to the folks watching at home!"
23:44:25: <AgentFlowers> "Peoria...Earth Peoria?"
23:44:53: <Magnobile> "Wh-where is P-peoria?"
23:45:20: <AgentFlowers> "Somewhere in the States."
23:45:29: <PresidentEvil> Not unless concrete inspectors from your earth are normally green skinned. Nethem seems very perplexed by what's going on; he looks like he's coming at you from a webcam.
23:46:24: <PresidentEvil> "Is this some kind of joke?" he asks somewhat dryly, before turning over his shoulder. "Honey, did you renew the anti-virus?"
23:47:06: <PresidentEvil> The audience laughs gamely as Xarfleez goes "Well thank you Nethem! Now, you all know the rules, so let the games... begin!"
23:48:34: <Magnobile> Monty frowns
23:48:35: <PresidentEvil> Nethem opens his mouth, before a deafening boom rocks his house. The windows shatter and dust billows into the room.
23:48:58: <AgentFlowers> Lily winces. "Oh, Jesus..."
23:50:13: <PresidentEvil> There are screams, male and female, before what sounds like air raid sirens spin up in the distance. "Well, this dimension's only hope is off to a rocky start, folks! Let's go to the action view and get a bigger picture!"
23:51:17: <TheRaven> "...shit."
23:51:42: <PresidentEvil> As he does, the smaller screens around the edge of the Big Board flicker over to what look like news channels, and the board rapidly cycles through them.
23:52:23: <Magnobile> Monty blinks... "Th-this is awful."
23:52:25: <PresidentEvil> You catch snippets from frantic reporters
23:53:03: <PresidentEvil> "-ships, numbering in the thousands, suddenly appearing in the skies and-"
23:53:30: <PresidentEvil> "-reports that Cape Canaveral and Baikonur Cosmodrome were attacked first-"
23:53:52: <AgentFlowers> "..."
23:54:06: <PresidentEvil> "-President has allegedly ordered a full nuclear retaliation, but any potential effects will be-"
23:55:05: <PresidentEvil> In between, there's plenty of green people screaming in French, Russian, Chinese, Japanese... pretty much any language accompanying scenes of terrified crowds and massive bombardment. The crowd appears to be loving this, laughing playfully and applauding the destruction of notable landmarks.
23:57:22: <PresidentEvil> The board occasionally switches to follow Nethem, who has managed to procure some sort of plasma rifle from an Octonian soldier. He fights bravely against overwhelming odds for about ten minutes, before abruptly being vaporized by orbital bombardment. The studio audience Awws sympathetically.
23:58:50: <Magnobile> Monty watches. Just frowning.
23:58:54: <AgentFlowers> Lily grits her teeth and puts her forehead on Taggart's shoulder.
23:58:57: <TheRaven> "Assholes."
23:58:58: <Magnobile> "H-hollocaust.
"00:00:17: <PresidentEvil> "Ooh, better luck next time! Thanks for playing, Nethem!" says Xarfleez, grinning, as the alternate universe president and his family are dragged out into the streets and executed by a squad of Octonian commandos, apparently bringing an end to the round.
00:01:00: <Tehpillowstar> Chloe hears some commotion and walks into rec baffled. "What's going on?"
00:01:45: <TheRaven> "I'm not entirely sure."
00:01:46: <Magnobile> "W-we are watching a h-hollocaust."
00:02:23: <PresidentEvil> "We still have two more contestant dimensions this hour, but before we meet them let's have a word from our sponsors. Remember, "Who Wants to be Conquered by the Octonian Empire?" is sponsored by Mr. Pleb.
00:03:02: <Tehpillowstar> "What."
00:03:21: <Magnobile> "..."
00:03:30: <PresidentEvil> "Mr: Pleb: The #1 soft drink among the slave and menial races of the Octonian Empire! Choose Mr. Pleb, it may be the only choice you get before you're killed for failing to make quota! We'll be right back, folks."
00:04:30: <Wogglebug> Arthur wakes up, rubbing his face.
00:04:40: <Wogglebug> Arthur is nocturnal these days.
00:05:09: <Uncandescent> D.T dropkicks a toaster.
00:05:21: <Magnobile> "Th-this is d-disgusting."
00:05:51: <Wogglebug> Arthur gets up slurrily, grabs his things, and heads over to the rec.
00:06:01: <AgentFlowers> Lily takes a deep breath, still leaning on Taggart.
00:06:01: <Uncandescent> He gets up sweat dripping from his brow, and looks at the pieces scattered across the rug of his living pavilion. He gestures with both hands. "Bitch."
00:06:04: <Wogglebug> Arhtur's gonna read the /hell/ out of that one romance novel.
00:06:52: <Tehpillowstar> "..."
00:07:01: <Wogglebug> ~I'mma count ridiculous word usage and everything.~
00:07:23: <Uncandescent> D.T. heads to the cafeteria to explain how their toaster was attacked by voodoo pirates or some shit.
00:07:47: <Tehpillowstar> Chloe tenatively sits down on the couch.
00:08:12: <Wogglebug> Arthur presumably arrives at the rec in one contiguous, no-frozen piece.
00:08:15: <Wogglebug> *non
00:08:39: <Wogglebug> Who all is there?
00:08:51: <PresidentEvil> There's a couple minutes of equally disturbing commercials. Then, when the show returns, the next contestant, some sort of furry quadruped, is apparently a peasant farmer in some medieval-analogue society. He lasts about three minutes.
00:10:28: <PresidentEvil> The next dimension is apparently full of technicolor ponies who attempt to teach their Octonian aggressors the value of friendship. No points for guessing how well that goes. Xarfleez, Slagathor, and the studio audience maintain their cheery demeanor the entire time.
00:10:46: <Magnobile> Monty watches...
00:11:12: <Wogglebug> Arthur looks around. "What are you lot doing?"
00:11:14: <TheRaven> "Okay, well, they sort of had it coming."
00:11:57: <AgentFlowers> "God..."
00:11:58: <PresidentEvil> DT, the exact same show is playing on a laptop someone's set out on a table in the mess hall. A couple staff are gathered around it watching.
00:12:08: <Tehpillowstar> "Do you think these guys are real? The Octonian Empire."
00:12:44: <Wogglebug> "...........guys?"
00:13:00: <Tehpillowstar> wait no, redact.
00:13:15: <Tehpillowstar> Chloe bites her lower lip but doesn't say anything.
00:13:23: <Uncandescent> DT pauses mis-step, catching a glimpse of he really hoped wasn't porn. "Guys, honestly. You're in public. People are supposed to //eat// here."
00:13:27: <Wogglebug> "................................................guys?"
00:13:31: <AgentFlowers> "Someone please tell me that the Foundation's orbital defenses are in working condition."
00:13:36: <Uncandescent> *what he really hoped
00:14:13: <PresidentEvil> "You didn't hear?" says one of the cooks. "There's some weird game show taking over one of the channels on all the site TVs."
00:14:26: <Magnobile> "O-orbital defenses?"
00:15:14: <AgentFlowers> "We do have those, right?"
00:15:29: <Uncandescent> "Huh. No, I was uh, busy. Fixing that toaster. Got sucked into a void, sorry to say. So what's the show about?"
00:15:37: <Tehpillowstar> "Probably. The financial reaches of the Foundation are mind-boggling."
00:15:48: <Magnobile> "I d-do not b-believe it is p-possible to c-construct such, with m-modern t-technology."
00:16:10: <PresidentEvil> And as the Unicorn Princess of Dimension 6.63X10^133 is crushed under the power-armored boot of a- y'know what, fuck it. Just imagine a Krogan from Mass Effect, but nastier.
00:16:11: <PresidentEvil> ANYWAYS
00:16:57: <Wogglebug> Arthur looks around in the rec. Who is there?
00:17:24: <PresidentEvil> As the unicorn princes is crushed underfoot, the cameras cut back to Xarfleez, who claps one of the important-looking guys in the war room set on the shoulder. "Now that was just bad luck, I think. Let's have a round of applause for our contestants and our brave Octonian troops!"
00:18:01: <Uncandescent> "Nevermind, I think I figured it out."
00:19:52: <PresidentEvil> It's pretty much falling action from there on out, as Xarfleez shakes hands with some Octonian Death Admirals and announces that today's losers will be getting a year's supply of Mr. Pleb as a consolation prize!
00:21:36: <PresidentEvil> Mr. Pleb, the drink that keeps you cool as you're worked to death in the slave mines! As the credits whiz by, an announcer informs you that this has been a Multiversal Mediamax production.
00:22:07: <Uncandescent> "That was... nice? Of them? I guess?"
00:22:13: <PresidentEvil> The TV fritzes out for a few seconds, and it's regularly scheduled programming up in here again.
00:22:30: <TheRaven> "Weird..."
00:23:07: <Wogglebot> "....did you lot just watch some sort of anomalous broadcast?" Arthur stares accusingly at Taggart.
00:23:11: <Gara> "... What the fuck did we just watch?"